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Book of Occult · The Big Sixes · Horns of Pan · Kill Todd Lyons · Kroni · Greed

Today's featured satanist

n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:

Dear Reader, Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more. However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows: (continued...)

Recently buried: Todd Lyons - Hindleyite - Suresh - Mhaille - DeathByPie - Hardwick Fundlebuggy

Dungeon – Vote for the death sentence

Did you kill...

...Elvis?
...JFK?
...Jesus?
...some Zombies?
...Oscar Wilde?
...Chuck Norris?

Dungeon – Suggest new dead babies

In the pit
No more news : The Devil declares news to be a crime. UnJews – Devil Free Brunch
On this day...
July 11: International Pull My Finger Day; Fake Fart Appreciation Day (Rural Alabama, Georgia) 1307 – Walter Tell, offspring of the famed archery enthusiast William Tell, pioneered the art of Interpretive Death by creatively expiring after suffering a major crossbow incident. 1796 – The United States takes possession of Detroit from Great Britain under the terms of the Jay Treaty. Great Britain immediately regrets this transaction when the Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup in 1798. 1804 – Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton is mortally wounded in a duel with United States Vice President Aaron Burr in the last major political duel before the Political Dueling Edict of 1822 was imposed by the new generation of sissy-boy lawmakers. 1859 – A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens is published. Oscar Wilde immediately parodies many of Dickens' concepts in his novel the Picture of Dorain Gray. 1864 – The American Civil War does not live up to its name as a Civil War, as pleasantries are barely exchanged before the Battle of Fort Stevens. 1925 – Famous monster Oscar the Grouch (pictured) is born in the slums of Sesame Street. He does not earn the added moniker of "Grouch" until he resorts to selling candy to children after bedtime following a long string of hardships. More anniversaries...

Today's featured picture

Note to all world leaders: When the zombies show up, the Marxists are never far behind.

Image Credit: Zombiebaron
Dungeon - Democracy sucks

edit
Portals to hell

Satanist and Imp of the Month

Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*.
Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree

The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we
Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.

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