User talk:Under user/Archive 10

Rape!!!

Ha, got you again! Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 07:53 8 July 2008

DAMN EDIT CONFLICT! ~ 07:54, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

FU EDIT CONFLICT! - [07:54 8 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Muwhahahahaha! Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 07:56 8 July 2008

Thanks for the vote!

	Necropaxx loves Hippies and you do too.
	PS: No physical contact, please, the smell will rub off. Thanks for voting on Hippies on VFH.

Always a pleasure to get a for vote from U. U. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 20:52, Jul 8

You need a wikibreak fact of the day

Fact #3453453 - You dream that you're be deopped after being called "The Bloody Admin" (as in that one whose hands are drenched in user's blood). Yes. Yes. ~ 09:41, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

Oh-kayyyy.... /me makes friendly motions in a Mordillo direction and hums soothing melodies. Banhammer arm getting cramp from over-use again? --UU - natter 09:49, Jul 9

Yep. I need a cup of tea and a massage. ~ 09:55, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

You heard him U.U. go get tea. Now, sir, will you be wanting any "extras" with this massage? Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 09:57 9 July 2008

I'm guessing you're referring to jaffa cakes? ~ 10:00, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

Shit he's cop! But of course, sir, absolutely no hand jobs are sold here for just £6 extra. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 10:01 9 July 2008

Here, have a cup of my personal blend of tea. You'll have to see Sycamore for the Jaffa cakes - if he has any left from welcoming n00bs with 'em. I'm glad you're attending to the massage Orian - mine don't tend to be too relaxing. Perhaps it's my choice of Motörhead as mood music, I dunno. --UU - natter 10:03, Jul 9

Ah, good old Lemmy. You know that he must have been smoking 7 cigars a day and drink dozens of pints just to get that voice of his? ~ 10:05, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

/Me stands in background not knowing who or what you're talking about. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 10:07 9 July 2008

Motorhead, young Padwan. ~ 10:11, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

Don't give me that. Everyone knows "The Ace Of Spades", surely? --UU - natter 10:14, Jul 9

yes Ace of Spades, I don't live in a rock you know Ahhh... Would sir like his massage now? I have prepared the whale music...? Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 10:17 9 July 2008

I live IN ROCK! \m/ \m/ But that's the way I like it baby, I don't wanna live forever..... And don't forget the joker!. --UU - natter 10:21, Jul 9

Okie Kokie Kareokee! Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 10:25 9 July 2008

Thanks and all!

Yeh...hi Under user. Sorry, I've been really lazy and can't be bothered with the whole template thing. Well actually, this is a template...I'm just substing it in. It's just as generic and unpersonalised as a template, so don't worry about that! Anyway thanks and all for voting for this. Erm, yeh...it's on the frontpage! Woo! Also I created a tribute to it, after some talks with Hypeybole. Anyway, thanks again, Under user! - [08:52 10 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

OMG!

You're online! LOLOLOLOL! Why did I just say that? --Sir General Minister G5 FIYC UPotM [Y] #21 F@H KUN 10:49, 11 July 2008 (UTC)

I tend to be during the course of a UK working day (when my boss isn't anywhere to be seen, of course). How are you doing Gert? --UU - natter 10:51, Jul 11

Thanks

Thanks for telling me that my page was deleted. I actually was amazed that it wasn't deleted before. I haven't been on uncyclopedia in a while. Anyways, thank you for telling me. Psmudge

No prob. Thanks for taking it so nicely! ;-) --UU - natter 12:20, Jul 14

Could you check on the new version of Blizzit BlowUrden?

Thanks, WarlockLord – Preceding unsigned comment added by WarlockLord (talk • contribs)

Well, I would have done, but it looks like your ICU tag expired, and it got deleted, which I think is a bit of a shame. I'd recommend contacting the admin who deleted it and asking him to restore it to your userspace, where you can work on it at your leisure without any threat of deletion. I'll happily have a look at it then, and when I think it's ready for mainspace, you can move it back and hopefully not see it get deleted! --UU - natter 12:25, Jul 14

UnSignpost: Jewlie 3rd/10th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

July 10^th, 2008 • Tenth Issue Spectacular!

Uncyclopedia running out of interesting stuff, UnSignpost starts up shitty telethon! By DJ Irreverent Look at you, sitting there all high and mighty with your Chuck Norris facts and Oscar Wilde quotes, well during this season of laziness and sitting round jacking off, please donate the gift of humor (or humour, we bend that way to no matter how much we are chased out of church) to a poor Uncyclopedian run newspaper near you. Take this poor little article for example; Canadian Tire Money or Canny as no-one calls him, just 8 minutes old and he is already roaming the streets. Illiterate and doing incoherency, long lines of lists and e before i (especially after c), it is only a matter of time before he turns to gay jokes to fund his addictions. Please help this little article achieve its potential as an Injoke by donating the gift of laughter, stupidity... or even just simple bad taste. Successes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[complete success]! ~ Annoying Article Fuck not this again... ~ Captain Obvious Free publicity in exchange for; 1) Shitty memes 2) Dragging up shitty memes ~ Euroipods There's more you can do... Call you're nearest admin and start a discussion about just how much humor you can donate (read: swearing and shock-porn), or start the 2717231278th forum topic concerning how we all must strive to remove the scourge of shitty articles. In the immortally misattributed words of our founding fathers, stillwaters and Chronarion "Fuck were we high" er... or words of respected member TheLedBalloon "Also, in the ass or the mouth?" oh dear... or even words of respected member 81.101.207.62 "Hey look a donut". Amen. Our lines are open to your pledges 25/7. Please help Save Cats from Degrading Captions- wait... - Save the Porn onto my Hard-drive- uh... I remember! Save UnSignpost from falling into a pit of lame memes and boring articles, here is a parting word from a little one in need of YOUR help. Ry4N IS TEh GH3Y n00b whO SUX b4lls!!1 ~ Ryan kella Makes you think don't it? We will be taking your calls now. Or now. Not now. Ok, now. Modusoperandi OP'ed!? By: THEDUDEMAN This past month of June, the Uncyclopedia community got its first chance at VFS since February, and one new op was decided upon. While there were many great and very capable candidates, one in particular got the most attention and the most votes. Modusoperandi. This long time Uncyclopedian has been to VFS almost every time it gets opened as far as we can trace, and always misses it in the final round by a slim number of votes. However, this month turned out to be a winner for him, so congratulations Modus. MO likes to spend his time writing things and 'chopping some images, but also finds time to goof off in the forums, and relieve the everyday pressure of his fellow colleagues with his off topic sense of humor, which he rarely hides. Modus has a total of 19.5 featured articles as well as 10 featured images. We at UnSignpost congratulate Modus on his winnings, and are willing to put $10 on him becoming the next STM. UnSignpost Takes A Wikibreak By: UU Yeah, the UnSignpost, the newspaper that Uncyclopedia would totally fall apart without, took a wikibreak last week. They seem to be fashionable, so we thought we'd find out what they were all about. They seem to involve time spent not hunched over a keyboard in a darkened room. The UnSignpost reminds you that such activities are hazardous to your health, and should be avoided at all costs. (Note: this is absolutely true - in no way did the UnSignpost just miss a week because no-one could be bothered to edit it, or anything)

Check out these pages! Colonization? CMC? Is that some new kind of drug? Rollback: Privilege or Curse? Dimwits beware Cajek launches attempt to kill Wikia servers? From our logs: 19:56, 30 June 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a sloppy wet blowjob ‎ 19:42, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) changed group membership for Modusoperandi from (none) to sysop ‎ (I asked on IRC for a funny reason tto put here, and no-one could come up with one. Losers.) 22:39, 30 June 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 80.42.211.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanking articles will not compensate for your small penis)) (Block log); 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) (blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.) (Huff log); 18:21 . . Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Hate Crew official fan club": Shock to the page/and you're to blame/baby, you give stubs/a bad name) (Huff log); 20:12 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Cabal/Cabal9": content was: 'there is a cabal' (and the only contributor was located and executed by the cabal. There is no cabal) (Block log); 22:30 . . Mhaille (Talk | contribs) (blocked User:Revel4tion with an expiry time of infinite: and on the eight day he fucked off) 10:58, 8 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.95.139.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (You partly piss me off. The rest of me is in love. I'm torn. Come back later. I hate you. I love you!) Biopic of the Week MrN9000 ~ One of the more "seasoned" users on Uncyc, at a sprightly 360 years old, MrN was bitten by a pair of radioactive Y-fronts in his youth, bestowing upon him the awesome power of pants. Fortunately for us here at Uncyc, he decided to use those powers for good, and he is now our reigning king of poop, featured author and amateur tap dancer (hea, a man can have more than one hobby!) Quote of the Week <Codeine> here's a thought <Codeine> If you download music, supposedly you're damaging the music industry <Codeine> but <Codeine> if you download childporn, you're *supporting* the childporn industry <Codeine> I'M GETTING MIXED SIGNALS <Ljlego> moral of the story: <Ljlego> childporn is the way to go <zombieninja> XD <Run-DLL> thanks for the moral go-ahead Crappy deleted Stub of the Week "this chocolate is blue. and it has a BIG GREEN PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#" - From Blue chocolate Reason to take a Wikibreak of the Week (Admin Special) "You dream that you're being deopped after being called "The Bloody Admin" (as in that one whose hands are drenched in user's blood). Yes. Yes." - Mordillo

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:37, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

I ran into a stag party in Amsterdam on Saturday night

Nice bunch of English blokes, all dressed as tennis players with wigs, the groom apparent wore a very short tennis skirt...I couldn't help thinking - was that UU? But when the guy told me he gets marries on mid August...

Anyway, is it a tradition to humiliate the groom during those parties? What kind of atrocity do your friend plan? ~ 09:20, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Nice bunch of English blokes on a stag? They must have been the exception - generally stag parties abroad seem to do their best to get us a very bad name! Or possibly just a worse on than we have already! Anyway, it seems to be a tradition for many stag parties to humiliate their stag - for instance a mate of mine was forced to wander the streets of Leeds dressed as Little Bo Peep on his stag. I, however, don't go a bomb on such things, and have no intention of letting anything happen to me. Partly because we're staying in my home town of Norwich for budget reasons... And that means that if they do try anything on me, I know all the best places to "disappear". Plus, I don't drink. However, they've all promised to make up for that by having my drinks for me, so they can humiliate themselves as much as they like! I take it you're not expecting anything of the sort from your friends? --UU - natter 09:27, Jul 14

I think they were pre drinking actually, that must have been the reason. I think that for mine, we'll just wonder off to the Golan Heights for the weekend, and just drink loads and eat loads and talk about women. That always seems like a winning combination. ~ 09:34, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

I have several lesbian friends. It's even better talking about women with them. Particularly when they have a point to illustrate about breasts and demonstrate on their own. Or their girlfriend's. --UU - natter 09:38, Jul 14

Damn! Are they for hire?! ~ 09:47, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

They work to their own agenda, so feck knows. If they were, I'm sure they could make a tidy little earner! --UU - natter 10:07, Jul 14

Poo Lit Surprise

I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). Post your top 5 articles here. Hit me up on my talk page for questions, comments, or if these rules are not cognizant within you.

Thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! ~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:31, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

Apparently they are letting some lunatic Dr run the show these days... Hang on, UU has lesbian friends? I actually dated a bi girl for a while year ago. Not all they are cracked up to be actually. Oh, that was terrible. No really I did. MrN 01:43, Jul 15

I is still judjifying. I is good judj of kwality, I is! --UU - natter 08:04, Jul 15

Hea, sorry to here that you are a bit under the weather. Get well sir. I actually had to do something over a Pee Review again yesterday in your absence. Panic is breaking out already. MrN 08:17, Jul 16

Cheers buddy. Feeling a little more human today. Well enough to potter around on here anyway! --UU - natter 09:00, Jul 17

yeah, that makes me sad

but that doesn't mean you can, like, point it out!!!   Le Cejak • <13:47, 17 Jul 2008>

Official response: Blah blah journalistic integrity, blah blah freedom of the press, blah blah censorship, blah blah. --UU - natter 13:51, Jul 17

Could u review my article

Ok, I saw u left a comment on my article pee review, and I took ur advice on putting it up for review again. So will u do me the honor of peeing on my article.-Bobofosho2 02:20, 18 July 2008 (UTC)

Well, I have a busy weekend lined up, so the best I can say is: if I have time, I'll be sure to. If I can't, I can't, but if I can, I will. OK? --UU - natter 08:05, Jul 18

ok ni prob.-Bobofosho2 01:40, 19 July 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 17th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

July 17^th, 2008 • Eleventh Issue • This issue isn't late, your calendar is fast.

It's The Poo Lit. Surprised? By UU Uncyclopedia's twice annual writing competition, the Poo Lit Surprise starts this week. In typical Uncyclopedia style, it seems to have come as a surprise to many, not least EMC, who was supposed to be running it, but who has disappeared without trace. Horrified by what was happening to their beloved and prestigious competition, the Uncyclopedia community rushed into action as soon as it noticed (a day or so late), and promptly agreed someone needed to do something. This was followed by some of the community running around in small circles, flapping their hands wildly and panicking a bit, before cuddly authority figure Zombiebaron decisively stepped in and selflessly told Dr. Skullthumper to sort it out and get the fuck on with it. At the time of going to press, both Skullthumper and Zombiebaron may have been available for comment for all we know, but we couldn't be bothered to ask them. VFS: The Race Hots Up For The Second Month Running By UU In an unprecedented turn of events, and due to namby-pamby unclear rules that have since been firmed up and given a healthy gay colour makeover, Uncyclopedia is voting for further candidates to be admitted to the non-existent cabal. The race is turning out to be quite a close one between several of the frontrunners, so the ever-impartial UnSignpost (founded by Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper) brings you pen pics of the current favourites. Heerenveen - Uncyclopedia's Tank. Doesn't sleep, eat, dream or pet fluffy animals. Does nothing, in fact, but patrol Special:Recentchanges, rolling over cyberbullying, shooting down crap, smoking out vandals and reverting their stuff, and other tank-like activities. What to expect: extreme diligence, and a bigger gun, apparently. MrN9000 - Profiled in the Unsignpost only last week, MrN has still found time to become even more awesome than he was then, and mends, mentors and poopsmiths his way around the site with matchless dedication. What to expect: zero tolerance for anything pants. Roman Dog Bird - Frankie is another tireless worker in the name of making crap stuff less crap, good stuff betterer, and shite stuff deleted. Wherever there is a thankless task to be done on the wiki, you shall find him. Which is a good job, because we have no intention of thanking him. What to expect: him to be ready from day one (hmm, that's a catchy slogan...) Dr. Skullthumper - A true legend of Uncyclopedia: handsome, talented, possessed of unprecedented levels of awesome, and a genius towards whom this newspaper (that he co-founded) is not in the least bit biased. Oh no. And can he give the editorial staff their teddies back now, please? What to expect: benevolent dictatorship with an iron fist. In a good way. RAHB - What comes to mind when you hear the name RAHB? Is it VFD? QVFD? QTVFD? RecentChanges? All those answers are correct and more when you get the new and improved RAHB this month! RAHB is an Uncyclopedia policy wonk with all the credentials of Al Gore, except for that Vice-President thing. What to expect: former audio superstar turned into a big, friendly admin. In a good way! Who will win? All may be reported in future editions of the UnSignpost. If we remember. And if we can be bothered.

Check out these pages! Some sort of prize thingy limps off the starting line No news is... Led news? Blog whoring FTW! From our logs: 17:49, 11 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.173.54.200 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This is a penis, this is you) 18:29, 11 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 156.34.72.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This ban is approved by the society of Chuck Norris followers. Chuck, for a better world ) 23:37, 13 July 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked Jimbo spends foundation money in russian prostitutes (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (IN them?) 08:31, 17 July 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.73.10.118 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (If there something I really detest is IPs with small penii trying to act like big honchos on a wiki web site. I'd like to meet you one day, Mr. IP, and send you over the IP hospital) Biopic of the Week Hyperbole ~ Hype is awesome! Hype has been on Uncyc for just a short time, and yet has already written some of the greatest articles ever composed by human beings! Hype is easily the greatest author ever to have graced this humble wiki, and it is surely only a matter of time before he sails past Ljlego's record of 76 features with consummate ease. And despite not having either the Democrat or Republican nomination, Hype is also the surest bet in this year's Presidential elections! Is there anything this guy can't do? Apart from that thing with the rosary and the 3 Mexican children? Comeback of the Week Gerrycheevers ~ For the third or fourth time this year, Uncyc's comeback kid has again popped through his revolving catflap to grace us with his presence after a period of absence! The UnSignpost staff are accepting bets as to how long this comeback will last. Any takers? Plea of the Week Hey you! Yes you! You're reading this, so you must have some free time you don't know what to do with, so why not write an article for the UnSignpost! As you can tell from reading this very issue, actual writing talent is not required, just spout some gubbins about something that's happened on the wiki during the last week, and as long as it's not too likely to start drama, we'll probably stick it in! How can you refuse? Go on, be your friend?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:11, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

Excellent job, UU!   Le Cejak • <14:28, 20 Jul 2008>

Yeah I was gunna

All right, all right! I forget stuff. Also while I'm here, my UnLirary I was thinking I might just mainspace it and get other people to help out with the shelving (I just cannot be bothered). I'll clear up some of the red links that are there and then put it where the old one was. It's just UnBooks I was meant to be doing with you so I thought I'd run it by you. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:54 21 July 2008

Several features in the last month, looks like your magic piss may be back! As to the UnLibrary: well, the red links do need a little sorting out, but the main thing I'd say is that you might wanna tone down some of the brighter colours a tad - I can so see someone like Zombiebaron calling it a bit garish. But that's just a thought. The actual setup is fine, and you've already put a lot of work in, so kudos! Thanks for helping out. --UU - natter 16:00, Jul 21

Sorted red links and added pleas for help as for the colours: I don't know many, (Yettie did a few for me (5 days!!! I can't wait 5 days!)), if it hurts Zombiebaron's eyes he can change them (it is a wiki). Also the UnBooks front page probably should just have one big link to the UnLibrary as apposed to lots of small ones, but I'll let you do that. And yeah, Have fun! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 16:19 21 July 2008

Colour names. Lots of them. --UU - natter 17:57, Jul 21

What are you doing!? now I don't have an excuse! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 18:07 21 July 2008

I'd be more verbose, but this is a very quick visit. In fact, it's so quick, it's ove... --UU - natter 18:10, Jul 21

Oh noes! somebody killed U.U. before he could say goodbye! x0x SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 18:18 21 July 2008

A certain super secret page...

Is a secret in name only. Feel free to write anything you'd like about it. If you'd like me to contribute just point my in the right direction and I'll add my two cents. And finally, I'm doing well, thanks for asking. How about yourself? -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:13, 22 Jul

Reverting vandal

That was quick! thanks:)--Sycamore (Talk) 13:53, 23 July 2008 (UTC)

No problem - he was on a little spree, and his trail was nice and easy to follow! I did wonder if this new message would prove to be him paying me his compliments! --UU - natter 13:57, Jul 23

UnSignpost: July 24th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

July 24^th, 2008 • Twelfth Issue • Now On Time?

Count to a million By Gerrycheevers This week Uncyclopedians continued on their quixotic attempt to "count to a million." Started by Uncyclopedia Wiki-master and Chamber of Commerce Secretary Spang in early March of this year, the project seeks to eventually reach the number one million (1,000,000) through the ancient art of counting. Any person who is capable of taking a number, adding one to it, and expressing the result has been invited to join the massive undertaking, which has seen dozens of contributors come and go. As is always the case here at Uncyc, the project has spawned controversy, criticism, and a spin-off starring Tony Shalhoub as Olipro. The forum is an unprecedented pool of knowledge. As each number is reached, it is discussed in-depth by several Uncyclopedians. Insights such as "114 That's my age + 100 lololol" and "616 fucks fucking fucker's shitty crap" are a testament to the intellecually stimulating conversation that occurs each day. Oftentimes, relevant images are posted; the variety of these pictures can be seen by looking here, here, here, and here. However, not everyone is so optimistic about the project. Some have expressed concern that the entire thing has some kind of sinister purpose. When asked for a comment on the harmless-appearing but diabolically-undertoned project, TheLedBalloon said, "although the project appears harmless, there are definitely diabolical undertones." Another anonymous user stated, "that forum is most surely not pants." Spang himself has expressed his desire to leave behind a legacy, but he has also left open the possibility that "the entire thing is just an urban myth, and doesn't really exist." Regardless of its true meaning or intentions, Uncyclopedians continue to trudge on in their epic quest, reaching 0.075% of their goal this Monday. Editors come and go, the pace quickens and slackens, but someone is always there to figure out the next number in the sequence. At its current rate, the project will reach one million on August 19th, 2526. Until that glorious day, Uncyclopedians can only dream... Cheevers Fires Back! By An unbiased journalist After some light-hearted slights in last week's issue, Gerry Cheevers - Uncyclopedia's resident headcase and #2 hockey authority - has taken exception with the editors of this fine periodical. An ugly scene erupted in the USP press room after Gerry barged in, demanding some sort of justice. Luckily, some quick thinking by our tea-boy and current stand-in editor caused Mr. Cheevers to be distracted by a shiny object long enough to avoid any damage to our delicate newspapering equipment. After it was pointed out that he had in fact come and gone from Uncyclopedia like some sort of cow that grazes on witty satire and coherent parody, Gerry calmed down enough give a brief interview and let some of our junior reporters scratch him behind the ears. When asked about the reasons for his return, Gerry cited many things. Prominent among them were a desire to have humor play a larger role in his life once again, the thrill of writing articles, the subsequent crushing defeat after said articles have been hacked to pieces mercilessly, and his heterosexual man-crush on Mhaille. The one-time WotM nominee fell on hard times in mid-March, and went on sabbatical when his computer decided that it was not long for this world and took its own life. After that, Gerry resorted to breaking into libraries after-hours to cast VFH votes on city-owned, porn-riddled, abysmally slow dial-up computers. Luckily he landed a job in late May and has spent a majority of his time at said job slacking off and editing Uncyclopedia. Mr. Cheevers looks forward to getting back to what he is known for: mediocre writing, scathing Pee Reviews, and keeping Manforman locked up in the Uncyc dungeons. Several prominent Uncyclopedians share his optimism for a permanent return, including noted reviewing robot MrN9000, who stated that he was "willing to bet everything Cajek owns to that effect," and heavy zeppelin Don Leddy, who expressed his delight at seeing Gerry, exclaiming "gimme back my twenty dollars!"

Check out these pages! Yay! Woo! We all fail! Who judges the judges? (Apart from Zombiebaron, of course) Rock the vote? From our logs: 23:16, 19 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.254.51.48 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wow! I was gonna go the rest of my life hating Metallica, but you've opened my eyes to their true greatness! You, sir, are an hero! An hero!) 23:56, 20 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Swampgas (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (congratulations, now you can add us to your list of sites you got banned from for being a bellend) 21:53, 22 July 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) huffed "Slappy's Angels" ‎ (VFD - I throw in anotherv invisible vote to put these at -4/-5 (YEAH I'M TOO LAZY TO EDIT)) Biopic of the Week Sycamore ~ One of Uncyc's noteworthy Caledonian correspondents, Sycamore claims his prowess at writing stems from a hearty diet of haggis, neeps and tatties, washed down wi' a whisky, a can of Irn-Bru, and a gratuitous stereotype. He's managed to stay sober long enough to write quality articles on Battleship Potemkin, David Bowie and Tony Visconti, and doubtless celebrated in true Scottish fashion - with a couple of cans of Tennent's and a fight! Page of the Week (straight version) User:Optimuschris/Super Secret Girlie Page! - no explanation needed. Page of the Week (gay version) User:Orian57/Under my matress - the yin to OptyC's yang. So to speak. You have been warned. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Pisces (Feb. 19 - March. 19) - The position of Mars renders you the likely victim of pirate attacks this week. Carefully guard any grog, wenches, and booty you may have accumulated. see more horoscopes Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Italian Linux and the Crappy Translation Really Old Image Request of the Week For an UnTune. Seriously, this one has been around for ages, and no-one seems to be able to sort it out. Any takers? A certain psychotic frog will doubtless shower any helpful soul with gratitude. Or a template. Or something.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:49, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Abused Puppy Seeking Adoption

Life all by my lonesome is... lonesome.

Adopt away! --Mrmonkey72 18:01, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Hm. I thought I did sign that.

OK, well then my first tip is: always remember to sign your posts! ;-)

Actually, my main tips from the outset are:

1. Talk to the folk around here - but remember not to take anything people say here too seriously
2. Pop into the dump and have a nosy, you'll get to know a lot about who's who and who does what and who's funny
3. Do stuff you find funny, but not stuff that is about your friends only
4. Ask me if there is anything you're not sure of, I'm very happy to help (unless I don't know the answer, when I'll refer you to someone who does)
5. Don't feed the Cajek

Oh, and as the below comment from Orian proves, don't edit in a rush!

And the main thing is never to take it seriously! So yeah, feel free to pop {{Adoptee|Under user}} on your userpage to make this official, and bug me about anything you like! (But don't expect an answer this evening, I'm taking the missus to the cinema! --UU - natter 17:39, Jul 24

Speaking of 'stuff about your friends only', I was considering writing a page called 'That Guy You Hate' that could serve as a redirect from vanity pages. Thoughts? --Mrmonkey72 18:01, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

I like the idea - although vanity pages just get deleted instead of redirected, and will continue to do so, a well-observed article on the subject would be a really good thing. If you want to do research, keep half an eye one the "recent changes" bit over there on the left menu - several will pop up on a daily basis and give you plenty of ammunition. My tip is to start it in your userspace, then you can work on it unhindered and at your leisure. If you do go for it, let me know how you're going on! --UU - natter 08:02, Jul 25

Observe and edit at will. That Guy You Hate. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Mrmonkey72 (talk • contribs)

That seems like a good start. I'm happy to watch at the moment, to be honest - looks like you're having fun with it! The trick with this now, I'd suggest, is striking the right balance between ranty and funny - it needs to feel ranty because of the nature of the article, but 1. not too ranty, and 2. not at the expense of the funny. That's all I got to say though - keep going! --UU - natter 18:56, Jul 25

Why? Do you think Hyperbole has won RotM July 2008?

I mean he's cool and a great reviewer and everything but the month isn't over. Oh and what I said about VFS on my talk page I didn't mean it. Are we still cool? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 17:35 24 July 2008

Because there are times when I can be thick as shit! /me wanders off to revert his colossal stupidity. --UU - natter 17:39, Jul 24

Oh, and of course we are absolutely icebox (The Young Ones is the greatest sitcom in the history of all things ever!) Hope you don't mind the tweaks I made to the UnLibrary! --UU - natter 17:42, Jul 24

Never really watched it to be honest. Not sure if I was even born at the time it was first out. and if I were to choose a "greatest [TV show] in the history of all things ever" it would have to be Queer as Folk (UK version!). And of course do what you like to the UnLibrary, I only painted it. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 18:00 24 July 2008

Now you just hang on there Mr "Under user"... Let's get ONE THING STRAIGHT (unlike Orian)... Blackadder IS the greatest sitcom in the history of all things ever. The Young ones is obviously awesome, but its awesomeness pails into insignificance compared to the mighty Adder. Orian has never seen the young ones? Dam kid. Go do so. MrN 18:05, Jul 24

Blackadder is teh awesomes! Futurama is just a step above though --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 10:17, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Actually yeah! I forgot about Futurama! It's good. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:19 25 July 2008

Futurama is ace. I don't count it as a sitcom though. The Simpsons (before it went a bit lame) would be right up there too. --UU - natter 10:34, Jul 25

Stop trying to turn me MrN, I'm not going to have sex with you. And if we're talking strictly sitcoms I guess I'll have to be trite and say Friends having missed out on all that steampowered stuff you guys are talking about. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 18:17 24 July 2008

Mighty Boosh?--Sycamore (Talk) 18:24, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Nah, I think it's over acted and lacks a basing in reality. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 18:29 24 July 2008

1: The Young Ones. 2: Blackadder 2, 3 and 4 (1 sucks a bit). 3: Red Dwarf Series 1-6. 4: Yes Minister/Yes Prime Minister. This is the truth of things. --UU - natter 07:57, Jul 25

The Young Ones sucks shite, Friends is alright (had some good episodes but most I didn't get) --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 10:20, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

I refer the honourable gentleman to the comment on my userpage about comedy being subjective, and me being right. Friends sucks shite. Thus spake me. --UU - natter 10:23, Jul 25

Rffffgggggg fllluuuuppphhhh I've only ever seen one episode of TYO and it was lame so I can't really judge. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 10:26, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Gah! you're talking to fast for me to form sentences! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:27 25 July 2008

The Young Ones is a really subjective thing, more than most. It's a real love or hate thing. If you didn't like one episode, chances are the others won't change your mind. But for someone who grew up with it when it was utterly unlike anything else around, it will always be very dear to me. "I've just had a revolutionary idea" "What?" Let's raise a people's army and seize control of the state!" kaboom! "Oh great - the front door's exploded!" --UU - natter 10:34, Jul 25

London calling... Yeah I suppose. Sydney out. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:30, 26 July 2008 (UTC)

That shit about not feeding me is why your talk page gets 1 star

Good job on the Unsignpost, btw!! Whew, at least it's still going. I burned out after doing 5 issues all by myself.   Le Cejak • <18:46, 24 Jul 2008>

•  Against.--Sycamore (Talk) 18:47, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
•  Against. though I'm not sure who or what I'm against. Lets just vote! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 18:58 24 July 2008 Changed vote to for
•  For. Just for the sake of argument. --Mrmonkey72 19:10, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
• It wouldn't be Uncyc without someone voting abstain for absolutely no reason now would it? ~~Heeren ["Meh"] [tecħ] [kurk] [24/07 19:13]
•  For. Every time I start a talk page message, I start a meme   Le Cejak • <19:19, 24 Jul 2008>
  • Yird SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 19:40 24 July 2008
• MrN 19:21, Jul 24
•  For. though I still don't know why. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 19:24 24 July 2008changed to against
• Delete. Short 'n' shit. --UU - natter 08:09, Jul 25
• I'm with you U.U, major  Against.! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:13 25 July 2008

I'm impressed with your pooping SLA

What's that, 2 minutes for archiving? ~ 10:09, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Serendipitous timing, that's all. ;-) --UU - natter 10:13, Jul 25

I wonder who did this review of UU's user page?

Humour:	1	- Pants.
Concept:	2	- Pants.
Prose and formatting:	3	- Pants.
Images:	4	- Pants.
Miscellaneous:	5	- Pants.
Final Score:	15	Your mum.
Reviewer:	How's the football doing?

The football is looking a little the worse for wear, I have to admit. But as I observed to Cajek below, it's mainly wedding stresses that are winding me tight. I suspect the ball will burst before the wedding (either through too much kicking against the barn, or the farmer shooting it)! --UU - natter 15:26, Jul 28

Humour:	10	Lol, that orian really makes this article.
Concept:	9.7	yarrr. and things. Orian is teh cool!
Prose and formatting:	10	per orian humour.
Images:	10	Pants! lol!
Miscellaneous:	1	unaveraged cos i wanna look like a bastard with that 1
Final Score:	40.7	football is so gay!
Reviewer:	SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:18 28 July 2008

Yeah? And you're straight! There, I went there. Damn you! --UU - natter 15:26, Jul 28

Oh you did not. Words hurt. *eats gallons of chocolate icecream and cries* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:22 29 July 2008

How was your vacation

...you English "twat"?!? I'm just kidding. It's acceptable to see you again!   Le Cejak • <14:56, 28 Jul 2008>

Good, if a bit short. And yes, I am a twat. The kind of twat who takes stuff far too seriously at the moment. Don't get married: it's wayyyy too much stress - it's playing merry hell with my ability to be easy going about stuff. Still, it's always acceptable to see you about, however briefly. Hope you're enjoying the best things summer can bring! --UU - natter 15:05, Jul 28

Yes, summer is bringing career opportunities! I'm lined up to become a probation officer at juvie (or "Juvenile Detention Facility" for the more formal people in the audience)! Hahaha, I bet you weren't expecting that!   Le Cejak • <15:15, 28 Jul 2008>

<insert obligatory Spanish Inquisition reference here>. Sounds betterer than my worst summer jobs. Litter picking on a landfill site during high winds being possibly the pick of them. Man, you should learn something about human nature from that! Good luck with it... --UU - natter 15:30, Jul 28

First of all, imagine me armed with mace and a nightstick. Next, imagine me beating inmates when I'm having a bad day. Then, imagine me writing about it on Uncyc!   Le Cejak • <15:37, 28 Jul 2008> (Sorry that your life is hectic right now, man!)

Notes on my entry

Hopefully this isn't too "OMG DONT SKOAR ME LOW!" But to help you out with judging User:RAHB/11-Wide, (as I accidentally stumbled upon your judging notes in recent changes), to get the basic humor of the article, all you need to know is that a Wide Receiver catches the ball, Linemen protect the ball carrier, and the Quarterback throws the ball. I tried to not go too much further in depth than that. The rest should explain itself pretty well. Cheers. -RAHB 09:48, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

/me sticks fingers over eyes La la la, I'm not reading! I'm judgifying the articles on their own merits. Hopefully, it'll stand up just fine. I won't dismiss any of them due to a lack of knowledge on my part. So I'm not gonna actually read this comment past the first sentence. As I say, from the pics, I reckon I've got a clue. --UU - natter 09:54, Jul 29

NOT about PLS

Ok, well kinda... Bloody tricky this judging stuff eh? I'm about half way thorough reading em all, but dam... Would have been at lot easier if we had allowed bribes! MrN 12:15, Jul 29

Bribes, eh? A cunning plan...../me slips MrN9k a large wad. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Cor dear, watch where you're putting that, you'll have someone's eye out with it. Stop. No! Ohh missus. Please. Now then. I used to be quite partial to a back-hander myself. Steady! No! Now I'm pure and incorruptible. Who laughed? No! Missus! Etc. </Frankie Howerd> --UU - natter 12:49, Jul 29

Who's Frankie Howerd? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:18 29 July 2008

Frank's a heart stopper--Sycamore (Talk) 13:23, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

Ah yes I've heard of him. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:28 29 July 2008

Who's thes "Orion" guy? MrN 13:37, Jul 29

Orion Blastar? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:41 29 July 2008

Yea, everyone knows who he is. MrN 13:44, Jul 29

Then why did you ask who "Orion" was? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:46 29 July 2008

Titter ye not! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I seem to have walked in on the Britishest of tea parties... --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:52, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

Pesky Americans. Should never have given them independence... MrN 13:57, Jul 29

Some people are so stupid, that's why I live with a family of icecream! --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:00, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

Mmm, won't your family melt down there? Or get trampled by marsupials? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:30 29 July 2008

I live with a crime Family. - [10:37 30 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Ahem...

...SPOILSPORT! You asked for it...literally. :-) - [10:35 30 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Why yes, I did. I also expected this very comment. Thanks for proving my theories correct... --UU - natter 10:40, Jul 30

You expected it? *sniffle* That makes me sad... - [10:58 30 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Thus, you have gravely wronged the family! Yours Sincerely, Don Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie

Watch as I tremble mightily. --UU - natter 11:04, Jul 30

Tremble, sir, tremble. Yours Sincerely, Don Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie

Oh yettie you do so many things to me. I get weak in the knees. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:21 30 July 2008

That's Don Yettie to you...when we're discussing business. Now get out there and make your people starting working/whoring for the Mafia. UU, because I see-a that you are much-a scared and a terrified by the threat-a of the Family I offer you the easy way out! Now-a, I judge-a you are not the sort-a to get involved with the Family - in a business sense - so here's your easy way. Just donate us some dough, here. If you just-a read the instructions you'll find it's quite-a simple...just-a sign your name! Yours Sincerely, Don Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie

Man, if you put half the time and effort into actually writing as you don into these usergroup projects and things, you'd have more features than Cajek by now. Probably. --UU - natter 13:18, Jul 30

Cajek is a machine, I swear that for every one of his features there 2 two that are about one edit away from feature... --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:54, 30 July 2008 (UTC)

For Fucks Sake This Is Tedious!!!

The list. Really how did you get through it? I've done five and already a slow and painful death sounds more appealing! Any chance you could throw knives at me while I do it? Just to add some risk to it? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:09 30 July 2008

I agree. Normally, I get through it by trying not to let it back up, so I only have a few to check a day. Unfortunately, I'm busy pretty much every weekend between now and the holiday I can't fucking wait for, plus there was a bit of a spate of reviews, which is nice to see, but does leave you feeling, as you say, a tad drained after a few. Now you see why Sys and Hv didn't last long at it, and get a small insight into how thrilling my job is, if I do that as an escape! --UU - natter 14:14, Jul 30

Sounds like we might be needing Orian to help a fair bit in the weeks ahead. It is a really important job. Tis awesome that he is helping out with it. My only comment would be for Orian to remember that he has to be REALLY nice when people do bad reviews and he contacts them on their talk pages about it. UU is the master of nice, which is why he does this so well... Remember Orian, that you are representing the whole of PEEING when you act on behalf of us... See, I even remember to spell it right this time! :-) MrN 14:24, Jul 30

Wow your job must be really boring! I sure am glad I'm not you! Now where are those knives? Or we could at least make the place prettier with some colours? Right now it looks like a piss-stained slab of bland concreate. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:46 30 July 2008

Oh I see you're spelling my name correctly now; brown noser. And I have every intention of being nice! When am I never not nice? I'm the nicest darn thing you ever did see! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:45 30 July 2008

"Brown noser"? Stay accepting, stay accepting, stay accepting, it's their lifestyle choice... --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:56, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

I only meant it metaphoricaly -- as in suck up - that thought never even crossed my mind. But, interestingly, it was your first thought. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 17:37 31 July 2008

this chocolate is blue. and it has a BIG GREEN PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ From Blue chocolate ~ XD That made me laugh so hard. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:46, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

What the hell was the daddadadada thing?   Le Cejak • <13:49, 31 Jul 2008>

It was only here about half an hour ago. Some callous soul QVFD'd it. I think it may have been me. Anyway, yeah, it turned up and something about it tickled me, just like the rest of the stuff on that page of mine, so there it will remain. And DJ - me too. There is a level of genius only the few achieve... --UU - natter 13:52, Jul 31

I say we put all the QVFD articles into one article and sell it as a special edition! --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:53, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Rimming, now big green cock. Dj you seem strangly interested in the fads of the gay community... SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:47 31 July 2008

I'm straight and I'm still apparently gayer than you, shame on you Orian. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:21, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Template:PRIP

Alright, here's what I done did. I made the template run a little parser function to determine if the page has been edited within the past day. If it has, then Template:PRIP/notex is displayed. If it is, however, older than a day (meaning the PRIP was placed over 24 hours ago), then Template:PRIP/expired is displayed. Thoughts?~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 20:44, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Just the thing for review whores! I dunno, you're not around for ages, and then suddenly you're all over Pee Review - shouldn't you be getting 3 more features or something? ;-) Seriously though, this is a step in the right direction - I do agree with you about these templates as I've observed elsewhere, so now all we need to do is one of the following: 1. Get everyone to use PRIP; 2. Get reviewers to change their own templates accordingly; 3. Clobber anyone who continues to leave their tags pitched on reviews for days on end alongside the head with a claw hammer. Me, Hv (on his return) and Orian will keep an eye on things to see if it improves. Thanks! --UU - natter 08:53, Aug 1

Great minds think alike eh UU... I think Lj is catching up also... :P Have you got a claw hammer? MrN 09:00, Aug 1

Found it!

	Thank you, Under user, for voting Orian57 your Reviewer of the Month. However the egotistical beast that you have now unleashed is not grateful and meagrely expected the vote but would like to give you a condescending pat on the head. Good girl/boy
	Thanks for voting!

There. Thanks and all for the nom if you hadn't I'm certain somebody else would have. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:45 1 August 2008

Since no one seems to care

Just to be different - congrats! ~ 09:33, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Congrats on what? U.U.? What's he congratulating me for? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 09:35 1 August 2008

Ow some award or something or other... "Best Under user of the month" or something. He might have had a few lucky votes over at VFH 2... MrN 09:38, Aug 1

VFH2? Isn't that the channel you watch when you're too old for MTV? Anyway, thx gize, a specially tailored thanks template will be winging its way to those who voted when I get the time to make one. But right now, I'm actually doing some work. Yes, it would appear they've found me! --UU - natter 09:43, Aug 1

Damn their eyes! ~ 10:53, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Pubs do tea now?

Er... I gotta stop putting all I wanna say in headers. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:20 1 August 2008

Well I'll go to 't foot of our stairs... --UU - natter 12:24, Aug 1

I'm sorry! I don't speek Poverty! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:27 1 August 2008