User talk:Frosty/archive1

Welcome!

Hello, Frosty, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Frosty/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 08:36, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Hur?

What's with the Admin userboxxen? Gen. Fudgem0bile Buy a new car. With $2 Coins. 04:35, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, you really should not be using that. 1234 ~ 07:54, 16 January 2011

Fine I'll Delete it then... The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 09:26, February 17, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, mon. 1234 ~ 01:10, 17 January 2011

UN:BP

You put two IPs on there that as far as I can see, did nothing. As in the don't even have any contributions. don't do that. Thanks. -- 16:41, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

In conclusion Magic, you can't see their deleted edits. They made vanity articles. Don't be brash and cross out people like that again, please. It's best for an admin to check. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:46, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah... Sorry about that... -- 18:07, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

Meh don't worry - The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 05:53, February 9, 2011 (UTC)

AAN

Those wishing to be adopted, please leave you message below. I will read it whenever I am available. -The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 09:26, February 17, 2011 (UTC)

yawm

Just delete Nigger Manual. Who cares. I was just trying to archive a fallen ED page. But who cares anyways.

--User:presidentmudkip 03:12, February 20, 2011 (UTC)

1) Not an admin so I can't delete it

2) I reported your "contributions" to the admins for the lulz

--The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 03:19, February 20, 2011 (UTC)

In Reply to Your Message

Frosty,

Thank you kindly for your quick reply, and while there's no need for such formalities, I am "Ms." Hamburger (as opposed to Mr.).

I would be delighted if you had some images to add. I have an idea in mind, but it hasn't yet come to fruition. Anything posted in the interim would be appreciated. I could always remove images and add new ones later I suppose.

I am very concerned that my article will be deleted; can you confirm whether or not there is any immediate danger of this?

Thanks again,

Hamburger 07:16, February 24, 2011 (UTC)Hamburger, 24 February 2011

You are amazing! Thank you!!

Hamburger 07:33, February 24, 2011 (UTC)Hamburger, 24 February, 2011

QVFD

Just to let you know there is no need to list broken redirects on QVFD, they are automatically listed in Special:Broken Redirects which is part of most admins daily maintenance run. Just saving you a job. Keep up the good work. --ChiefjusticePSX 09:20, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Rightio - The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 05:47, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

So a machine took over Frosty's job? Is my job next? Wait, can you make a machine that writes slightly below-par articles on random things and UnNews articles on baseball? Cuz if you can then I'm screwed. (talk) 05:55, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, all they need to do is to invent a machine that can delete half-decent articles and block users with no good reason and we'll have no need for sysops. Please don't ban me for this post - The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 06:00, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

Hello

Hello, is it me you're looking for? I read your user page, interesting. I see you honor the hogs who gave their life for bacon, that was nice to see. I saw you may like "truth" which is usually strange. Have you looked at Above Top Secret.com, which usually has a few readable things on it. And your name is Frosty, what do you do when winter ends? Do you melt? Or live in a freezer or something? Aleister 23:41 4-3-'11

I migrate between hemispheres quite obviously. The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 23:43, March 4, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, that explains it. Aleister 23:46 4-3-'11

Umm

Are we not supposed to talk to IPs on their talkpages? I was unaware of that. pillow talk 02:22, March 5, 2011 (UTC)

Opinions vary. 1234 ~ 02:32, 5 March 2011

Well every IP user / talk page I've ever seen has been deleted by the admins within minutes of its creation, bans have also been used as well. So yeah I assumed not. - The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 03:25, March 5, 2011 (UTC)

Huh. Doesn't seem like a bad idea to tell an IP who's doing good work that he's doing good work, unless there's something I'm missing... pillow talk 03:30, March 5, 2011 (UTC)

I see what you mean there, but the admins seemed to frown upon it, don't ask me - The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 03:32, March 5, 2011 (UTC)

Some of them do, some of them don't. I find smiling and nodding and then ignoring the lot of them works best with such things. 1234 ~ 03:36, 5 March 2011

I've left quite a few notes on IP talk pages when they do good work and told them about signing up as a member, and never got a slap on the wrist (or spanked for that matter, darnit). It just seems like common sense, which I have none of. Aleister 17:02 5-3-'11

Phovies and Fido

Or whatever the name is, on VFD, I've done a large edit sweep, and Puppy had done some work, and I do believe that it is savable now. Can you take another look? Thanks. Aleister 17:04 5-3-'11

Rightio - The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 22:14, March 5, 2011 (UTC)

User talk:FatWhitePeopleAreCool

Might have been good, especially considering the race-based username, to wait until the user makes a move before you welcome him. This one is an old "friend." I've taken him to BP now. Spıke ¬ 04:00 7-Mar-11

Oh dear it appears I welcomed a vandal, I shall be *ahem* more vigilant in future - The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 04:10, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

He is in the hands of the GODS now. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 04:12 7-Mar-11

VFD policy

Could you read our deletion policy again, especially the bits about ICUs etc. Thanks:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:31, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

If you mean I've done something wrong just say it. I'm use to critisim, seriously and I hate guessing games... - The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 06:09, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

He's referring to your nomination of Call of Duty on VFD, about which I wrote:

• Invalid nom, tagged with {{ICU}} by JackOfSpades on 3-Mar, will die a natural death on 14-Mar if not improved. (Has turned from 4 paragraphs into 4 paragraphs plus endless tedious lists.) Spıke ¬ 10:57 7-Mar-11

That is, the author was given a chance to fix the article and you bulled in and slapped {{VFD}} on it. A moment alone with the rulebook would indeed be a good thing. Newbies have also slipped up recently in not looking at the article's history to see whether there is a better version in the past or whether the article is too new for VFD. Spıke ¬ 12:40 8-Mar-11

I have a habit of not doing things, I shall in the future - The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 05:39, March 9, 2011 (UTC)

Cookies! Get cookies!

The cookie you wanted, eh?

Cat the Colourful has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

That would be then five 4 pounds, please. Cat the Colourful 05:43, March 24, 2011 Lovely I have mailed you a cheque, most unfortunately I don't kmow your address and it went astray, too bad... Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 05:42, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

An IP has words for you, apparently

Please don't ban me....everyone has so far. NEXT- BAN for WikiOmega in America....and I still wuv Jimmy Wales. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 72.159.131.3 (talk • contribs)

Um I see... Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 23:01, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

Aren't IPs so insightful? 1234 ~ 23:21, 25 March 2011

Indeed they are. LOL Banned. Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 23:26, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

Why the revert on the Genesis article?

The article in itself wasn't particularly funny. I don't know why you think your bad sense of humour is better than my bad sense of humour. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 98.192.76.96 (talk • contribs)

Because your edit was pure non-sensical nonsense! Read HTBFANJS, and that was ages ago man, why bring it up now... Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 23:32, March 26, 2011 (UTC)

It was like a week ago dude. it had some genesis related jokes in there that maybe you didn't get, and of course it was nonsense, this is uncyclopedia.98.192.76.96 04:48, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

Make an account bro, I don't take IP's sersiously. I take Users slightly more seriously. Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 05:48, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

Mr IP. You seem to have not read The beginner's guide which I just linked and is also linked at the bottom of the edit box. Please do so. (talk) 05:51, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

Oi, my talk page is not for adverising to IP's Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 05:53, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

O_O I apologize oh great one! (talk) 05:56, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

Damn right Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 05:57, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

Still haven't read the deletion policy, eh?

Seriously, please do so before you vote on or tag anything further. Yes, we're all entitled to our own opinions, but it helps if folks know what they're saying; for instance you said on VFD that Veggie Tales should be ICUed, not VFDed, when ICU and VFD are in fact mutually exclusive and the article in question is well past ICU age. A vote like that isn't terribly important in of itself, as there are other tags for older articles, but it does raise suspicion that you are not, indeed, familiar with the deletion policies in general, and perhaps should not, indeed, even be voting until you do familiarise yourself. 1234 ~ 07:30, 27 March 2011

FUCK, meant Fix. Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 07:36, March 27, 2011 (UTC)

Alack. 1234 ~ 07:52, 27 March 2011

Is that some sort of secret language for "I see, all is forgiven? :D" - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 08:14, March 27, 2011 (UTC)

It might be. 1234 ~ 08:19, 27 March 2011

sigh Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 08:20, March 27, 2011 (UTC)

^^ 1234 ~ 08:31, 27 March 2011

Ok this is just getting old. Quit Replying! Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 08:56, March 27, 2011 (UTC)

You say that, and you invite one by doing so. 1234 ~ 09:16, 27 March 2011

Ok, on more reply and I'm taking you to ban patrol. Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 05:54, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

Ban patrol's not for joking matters. 1234 ~ 13:42, 28 March 2011

Fine I'm taking you to Zombiebaron. Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 06:04, March 29, 2011 (UTC)

Australian categories

I appreciate the help, thanks. MadMax 09:51, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

No problem, it's not like I had anything better to do. :P Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 09:52, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

Lyrithya gives you lectures when you're doing it wrong.

You said that. Not I.

But seriously, man, please don't just unilaterally decide to redirect articles - that's pretty much the same as deleting them without a vote. In the case of Aleister crowley, that obviously wouldn't be VFD material due to the age, but an article such as that would usually go to ICU, not qvfd, anyhow. What I am saying is if an article really needs deletion, please, leave it to normal procedure, or bar that, to the admins to decide instead of just redirecting it yourself. 1234 ~ 00:35, 3 April 2011

The article already existed, it was posted on QVFD with a reason of already existing, I read the one of QFVD and quite frankly it was a waste of my time. So I redirected it to the funnier version, is that a crime now? - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 00:37, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

That's lovely, but it's not your decision, and not for you to do. The only ones who should be messing with stuff on qvfd are admins and poopsmiths, apparently as part of some grand attempt to minimise the chaos when it comes to killing things, or some such. Consider how disorganised it'd get if just anyone started messing around with things... and who would go around checking if it all was even done right? Faster and easier to just keep it to a few. 1234 ~ 01:59, 3 April 2011

I didn't do anything to the QVFD entry! I merely redirected Aleister crowley to Aleister Crowley. You seem intent upon making a big deal about something none of the sysops care about, so I fail to see why you should. - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 02:11, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Frosty all I think Lyrithya is getting at is that we tend to ask regular users to try and avoid redirecting articles with some text in them. In this case what you did was the correct course of action; all Lyrithya is trying to point out is that it is something you should mention to administrator in future who can make sure you are acting correctly. It's just a way of ensuring that everybody's contribution to the site is considered properly, it's also a way of making sure you don't get banned unreasonably. I hope that is clear. Let me know if you're still unsure. --ChiefjusticePSX 08:25, April 4, 2011 (UTC)

Indeed, sorry if I was being too forward about it. I'm not trying to single you out or anything; believe me, that'd take far too much effort. And on a completely unrelated note, nice potato. 1234 ~ 18:31, 8 April 2011

Although... it'd be nice if you'd refrain from crossing out other people's additions to qvfd, since usually they put them there for a reason... your own additions are another matter, of course, but aside from that, please, man, leave the removing stuff to the admins and the poopsmiths.

Incidentally, I did have a reason for listing an IP talkpage I created myself on qvfd - kind of pointless when the IP got banned, anyhow, and you know how changeable those numbers are... 1234 ~ 02:30, 9 April 2011

Dammit, sorry... I don't mean to be so cross, and I know you're just trying to help, but perhaps removing stuff from qvfd innit the best use of your time, and all that... or some such. I mean, what you do here is commendable, but some of it is more helpful than other bits, so I guess I'm just asking you to stick to the more helpful ones, since we need more of that anyhow. Sorry, I'm really tired right now. Can you tell? >.< 1234 ~ 02:52, 9 April 2011

To be honest I forgot about this discussion... And I actually bothered to read it this time. - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 04:23, April 9, 2011 (UTC)

Great, and did any of it actually stick in your head, or was it just words to you? 1234 ~ 11:43, 9 April 2011

I dunno, guess time shall tell... - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 21:10, April 9, 2011 (UTC)

Minor thingy thingy

When making a lot of minor edits, it'd be nice to the users checking Special:RecentChanges if you'd use the minor edit button. It should be located right above that big "Save" button you usually use to save your edits. It will prevent people from whining to you about it! Wouldn't that be nice? ;) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 04:57, 3 April 2011

I have been, I wonder why its popping up? Meh, I only have 1 country left to add Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 04:58, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Andorra

Is it Andorra or Andoria? Do you know? (talk) 23:51, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

Andorra, Andoria is fictional I think... Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 23:53, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

*sigh* Now I have to figure out what this article is about...

By the way, your sig might be broken the <small> tag for the time stamp didn't have the first > on the <small (see this edit, I fixed it for you above.) (talk) 23:57, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

Its a country I tagged it for this template and it is a country article, and as for my signature being broken, I just typed too fast - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 00:01, April 6, 2011 (UTC)

Half of it is about the country and half is about the planet Andoria it seems. I just tagged it with a {{Fix}} (when I should have been off eating dinner) so if you have any special feelings for it there's a 30 day mark to get this sorted out. (talk) 00:06, April 6, 2011 (UTC)

I would except I'm in the middle of English class... I'm only getting away with this by being vagilannt, maybe when I get home in about 6 hours - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 00:08, April 6, 2011 (UTC)

I was just thinking '30 days seems to be a little long for an English class.' Also, way to rebel. Fight the power! (talk) 00:10, April 6, 2011 (UTC)

It feels like 30 days... Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 00:12, April 6, 2011 (UTC)

Terribly creative UnSignpost header

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Better sign it.

April 7th, 2011 • Issue 115 • What news of the Uncyclopedia Holmes?

April Fool By Chief As you would expect, April Fools day is a very important day for Uncyclopedia; since we have devoted so much time to being fools, we are expected to be able to come up with something suitably hilarious for April 1st. However as the evening of March 31st drew to a close and all of you were relaxing in your homes/shelters/kennels and chuckling at the last issue of this splendid periodical, frantic discussions were taking place over the use of the Conservapedia skin that had been created specially for the occasion. Several users found the idea of using the Conservapedia skin to be highly unoriginal, so in the spirit of democracy it was cast to one side and three people decided to apply Wikia's wonderful Monaco skin to the entire wiki. This was an unforgivable abuse of power and position; if you would like to register a protest against such action then please drop into Uncyclopedia HQ where a customer service representative will be able to help you. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Monaco skin and had lives to lead on April 1st, we dispatched one of our roving reporters to deep behind enemy lines to soak in the atmosphere. He returned and informed us that spending a long time looking at the Wikia skin can cause pre-mature ageing, rectal bleeding and sudden blindness, in that order, if you are one of the lucky ones.* The impact of the skin on Uncyclopedia was sudden and varied massively. Some people got angry, some turned off javascript to escape the pain and some laughed at the people doing the above. The UnSignpost was able to visit Olipro, the mastermind behind the reskin, and find out what he thought its impact had been. "It was a raging success," he enthused from behind the safety glass, "and by "raging" I mean people were going fucking mental." After the interview, we departed Dexter111344's Home for People Who Be Trolling, leaving Olipro sniggering at YouTube videos and receiving occasional electric shocks. We are told this is an essential part of his treatment. The reskin divided the community into those who could turn the reskin off, those who couldn't and those who were just so angry that all they could do is create forums about the consequences for Uncyclopedia and the world in general. The reskin was removed shortly after midnight on April the 2nd, apparently because of AIDS. Happy April fools day; perhaps next year we could just leave the Main Page as it is and then discuss how disgusting it is that we haven't done anything for April fools day. *We worked this out with Science. You don't need to know how. I hate you and your competition By Chief As part of our commitment to being the worst at absolutely everything, we here at Uncyclopedia have taken a new and interesting course in article writing - a new trend of "hate articles". After the huge success of Fuck ChiefjusticeDS, several other writers have been eager to jump on the bandwagon of its success, with classics articles like Fuck Lyrithya (recently deleted) and Fuck Under user making increasingly prominent appearances literally everywhere. We were fortunate to sit down with Mordillo several months ago when he commented on this worrying trend, and he said, "This is a very worrying trend," among other things. We assume his feelings haven't changed, at least we hope not... One thing is certain, and that is that originality is at its lowest levels since records began, shortly after the creation of Euroipods way back in 2005. Beyond that, the only thing we can be certain of is that you should be very very worried. Speaking of originality, a whole host of new competitions seem to be hitting the village dump and the Cabal has expressed some concern as to this trend. It reminds all citizens to abide, and to consider that competitions are like Rats, quite cool when they turn up alone or a couple of times a year, but they will strip the flesh from the bone when hundreds turn up at once. The Cabal would also like to invite you to a seminar next Wednesday as part of the ongoing "Obeying the Cabal" series; this week we are focusing on obeying despite the loss of your parents, siblings and pet hamster.

Check out these pages! An idea Oh no, not this again Uncyclopedia running low on things to argue about For-skin From our logs: 20:31, April 4, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 66.176.139.239 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Blanking is uncreative, feeble minded, and scientifically proven to be indicative of underdeveloped genitalia.) 14:17, April 5, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 142.227.227.129 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (LOLWANKER) 08:02, April 4, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked ZachaaayVomitsRainbows (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (WINNING!!!!) 08:13, April 4, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 180.95.18.20 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (I'm sorry I can't hear you over your crippling stupidity 10:09, April 4, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked YOUSUCKinator9001 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (did I mention about your mother? no?) n12:27, April 5, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.255.240.25 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(each time you come back, you just prove yourself to be a bigger numpty. I wait with bated breath to see how much of a numpty you'll be in 3 months...) Biopic of the Week Our biopic this week focusses on someone who has recently proved that you can go away, raise a barn/have a family/learn to fly/scuba dive in space, and still not lose your Uncyclopedian mojo. JackOfSpades is this persona, and after spending some time away doing something from the above list, has burst back onto Uncyclopedia and has gotten straight down to it. He's a splendid fellow, and should you sample his Pee, you will not be disappointed. I know I wasn't. Finally, some of you have been complaining that the weekly biopic consists of nothing but cheap innuendo and swearing, all we can say is oh no it isn't, you shitting wanker. Anyway, JackOfSpades, he rocks, you suck (probably); live with it. Word of the week, provided by: Anonymous Zombie Definition: (Noun) A person who is or appears lifeless, apathetic, or completely unresponsive to their surroundings. "Get off Uncyclopedia, Trevor, it's turning you into a Zombie." OR (less commonly) (Synonym) Administrator: "Get off Uncyclopedia. Trevor, it's turning you into an Administrator." Newsroom UnTune of the week ZOMBIES!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 04:26, 7 April 2011

Dude.

It wants me to actually put text here? Blasted thing... why can't I just dump a header on you?

Er, I mean... welcoming, man. Do you check their contributions before you slap them a hello? 1234 ~ 22:59, 11 April 2011

Most of the time, when I did a few hours ago I was in a hurry, going places for a while... Never mind, but I was hurried and didn't bother, I'm assuming I welcomed a vandal... again... - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 02:56, April 12, 2011 (UTC)

Yup. In this case, an {{oh dear}} would have been appropriate, though. 1234 ~ 16:12, 13 April 2011

disamb

I am not sure if the template on King of the Hill (disambiguation) was a way of explaining the obvious. But in case not, the whole disamb is a joke in that its a verse from the song New York New York, which is sung every night at every karaoke bar in America. Just saying. I am not trying to be overly defensive at all, I just have no way of figuring out if you you ♥ templates, hate the joke, or what. As is, its an extension of the whoops template, since by implication all but the last two are metaphors for King of the Hill, based on the words of that Frank Sinatra/ Liza Minnelli song ----K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 07:06, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

I added it because of the title, whether or not its a joke is not important, it's funny to put it there simply because it states the obvious - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 07:08, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

gotcha ----K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 08:10, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: On-time and on top of things... as always.

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April 14th, 2011 • Issue 116 • These are not the enraged monkeys you're looking for.

Sysops, sysops, and more sysops By Athyria It has been over a year since the last VFS, over a year since the last batch of sysops were elected in the tyrannical drama-fest that lies at the heart of the Uncyclopedia powerbase, and now, amidst rampant vote-whoring and election campaigns running wild across the wiki, the voting is once more in full swing. In proper UnSignpost fashion, however, and as part of our continued attempts to avoid overusing self-referential humour and to instead report on something that people may not have already noticed, we have sent reporters into the heart of the storm to investigate these most momentous ongoings. In all of the two minutes it took to skim the scores, it was revealed that people so far seem to really favour Lyrithya and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, who already have scores of over twenty each, although they both clearly suck. Voting, however, has only been going on for all of a day, following a nomination period that likewise went on for all of a day and yet still somehow managed to result in the entire active userbase being nominated, as well as part of the inactive userbase, a couple of people only active on the IRC channel who in fact didn't even have accounts on the wiki itself until they made some for the occasion, two users who are already admins and one of whom is also a bureaucrat, and a bot... of an admin. This told us two things: Uncyclopedia standards are evidently still at an all-time low, and that our reporters needed to get out of there as soon as possible and adjourn for lunch, and not just because it was meatballs. Of all of the candidates, however, the UnSignpost strongly backs Fnoodle, and encourages its readership to drop their previous considerations/votes and instead support this astoundingly trustworthy, reliable, useful, and friendly user, about whom there is nothing suspicious at all, to become the next new sysop. Awards and contests everyone forgot about By Someone else As with all months, the usual awards have all already been forgotten about in lieu of more interesting things. So far, they look terribly riveting, with Matt lobster the only real contender for both Uncyclopedian of the Month and Writer of the Month, as well as Lockdandload taking the lead in the Noob of the Month voting, although he's probably just Matt lobster in disguise, now that we think about it. As such, we attempted to sit down with this intriguing user for an interview, but as he never showed up (possibly because we neglected to tell him), he didn't have terribly much to say about the matter. Meantime, all the other awards, including ANotM, PWotM, FP, EGA, PotM, AotM, UGotM, and NOM NOM NOMotm, are all looking kind of neglected. RotM isn't, however. Go support that one guy along with everyone else, if you can be bothered. Zombiebaron's Imagery Extra Va Gan Za is almost over; if you haven't submitted any beautiful paintings... er, that is, passable images yet, you only have a day, so hurry. Less than a day, really. But it can't be that hard, though, can it?

Check out these pages! UnNews sucks. Wikia sucks. ED sucks. Bots suck. Admins suck. Games suck. From our logs: Olipro blocked 117.211.91.202 with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (protip: replacing a paragraph with "fuck" isn't a good idea) Jack Phoenix blocked Rangersseals with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (You have been nuked. With ♥, every single American out there) Zombiebaron blocked Black Person with an expiry time of 5 weeks ‎ (I'm not banning you because you're black, but because you felt the need to replace a page in order to convey that message to the world.) Olipro blocked 194.81.160.18 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (fucks like you who think fish and chips is "proper food" need to be shot) Dr. Skullthumper blocked Optimuschris with an expiry time of a shitty browser ‎ (Every time you use IE, a web developer dies) Dr. Skullthumper blocked Frosty with an expiry time of a real browser ‎ (Using IE) Biopic of the Week If there is one thing the UnSignpost cannot function without, one thing that is important to each and every edition that goes out to the readers, one element that enables the UnSignpost to be the UnSignpost, it is not the people, not the writers, the editors, the proofreaders, the formatters, the photographers, the deliverers, or even the readers. It is not the hypertext of which it is formed, either, or the other people's talkpages to which it is delivered and then read by shifty lurkers, or the mediawiki in which it is created. It is the filler material of which it is comprised. The UnSignpost would be nothing without filler material. And if you intend to point out that we already biopicked this or some such, don't bother. The Complaints Department is currently on vacation, hence why this opportunity was taken to not even check first before writing up this week's biopic. Reason #243 why squirrels are the best things ever: IDDQD works against them. Random page: Ian Botham Is it any good? You tell us! Send in your reviews today, and save us the effort of writing something ourselves!

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:00, 14 April 2011

Hey thanks!

Thanks for adding that template to my talk page archive! I'm still trying to figure out how to properly construct it (without it looking terrible). -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. Rap sheet. [[::File:Sexy_twilight.jpeg|His shameless obsession.]] 22:37, April 15, 2011 (UTC)

That IP

has an account. He just doesn't like to log in for some reason. (talk) 23:27, 15 April 2011

Well thats silly... - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 03:25, April 16, 2011 (UTC)

The key to happiness

1. Wait for the IP to be banned.
2. Then revert his edits.

(talk) 05:34, 17 April 2011

I suppose... - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 05:36, April 17, 2011 (UTC)

HI

Goddamn, somebody has hacked my account, may well be the guy you are talking about :S At least he only messed with my userpage. How do I reset my password? Mattsnow (talk) 04:26, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

And I see 92.4.36.61 did vandalize my page (and your page too) but he was banned. May have been him, but anyhow, I really need to change my password! How to? Mattsnow (talk) 04:32, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

Fawk, he also changed my password... What do? Mattsnow (talk) 04:56, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

Forget it, I e-mailed myself a new one... Do admins have access to passwords? Mattsnow (talk) 05:15, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

Hmmmm. Talking to yourself, and then answering. Not a good sign. And thinking a snowman can answer you, an even worse sign. Frosty can't speak, he is a snowman. Even with your name, obviously another snowman, you may not get him to talk. Aleister 00:19 4-20

I am sorry, I have been rather busy of late, I dunno WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME OF ALL PEOPLE??? - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 03:31, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Possibly because you welcomed the person, and part of that welcome message says, "If you need help, ask me on my talk page"... mind, that's just speculation. 1234 ~ 03:59, 20 April 2011

And no, admins do not have access to passwords. Which is fortunate. 1234 ~ 04:00, 20 April 2011

Try confirming your E-mail address, you can get help from wikia then by asking for a password reset - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 04:03, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, I sorted it out. And talking to oneself is great! Mattsnow (talk) 04:52, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you

For your kind vote on People who like to fuck naked, happily sitting on the main page right now. Your vote was a great help, and we we we so excited. Thanks again. Aleister 00:20 4-20

No problem, but regards to the point you made against Mattsnow, I thought snowmen couldn't listen you hypocrite, just saying - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 03:33, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

That UnSignposty thing

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

April 21st, 2011 • Issue 117 • Please don't immerse this periodical in water.

VFS update By Chief As is customary when a VFS is running, the UnSignpost has chosen to shun the various non-events that have punctuated the week and is instead filling the space by updating you with information that is freely available to absolutely everyone elsewhere. Remember: we click links and read words so you don't have to. At the time of going to press, VFS has not yet lurched into its 4th and final phase, so we have called in experts to predict which horses users will make it into the final furlong of this, the ultimate race to lifelong servitude and misery. Earlier this week, our correspondent sat down with RabbiTechno and a gentleman named Fred, who assures us he is not in fact Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (these are our experts, in case you weren't sure). In lieu of doing any real work, we have reproduced the interview here: RT: Good day Fred: Where am I?? Get this sack off my head! USP: Fred, don't struggle; struggling just makes the poison spread faster. Now Rabbi, who do you think will make it through to the final round of VFS? Fred: Socky for admin! Argh the pain! RT: Well I must say all the chaps and fellows competing are absolutely splendid. I have watched with baited breath as they have competed in the spirit of manly competition, the girding of the loins and the splendid grunts to show us all they are trying. Despite that, two prime specimens appear to be distancing themselves from the pack. This Sockpuppet fellow certainly plays with a straight bat and it wouldn't surprise me if he hits it for 6. Fred: Woo! USP:Rabbi, do you mean you think he will make it into the next round? RT: Oh yes, that said, the burly fellow following him, this Lyrithya lad, certainly seems to have the spunk to go all the way. USP: Lyrithya is supposedly a female, Rabbi. RT: Nonsense! How could a woman carry out all the manly tasks necessary? She'll be pruning her eye brows and trimming her nose hairs the whole time. Fred: Nonsense, I think she will be a splendid- What?? RT: Women have to prune and trim or they wilt and die! You've seen sheep eating grass, women are like that except they use these little tubes of pink stuff. Sheep are also noticeably less woolly. Now answer me this! Where will she hang her breasts at night if we appoint her?? USP: Quite true. Fred: Is everyone here mad? Have either of you ever met a woman?? USP: No, I've seen them on the internet though! RT: My mother was a woman... we were introduced when I was 7. Does that count? USP: Fred, what about the other nominees, do any of them deserve it more than the two leaders? Fred: None of them are sandwiches and that is what this site and society in general sorely need. USP: Rabbi? RT: All splendid masculine fellows, except perhaps Magic man, regrettably they lack the range of this Sockpuppet fellow and this... woman. My conclusion must be that only Sockpuppet and Lyrithya will proceed to the next round. Fred: Sandwiches. USP: Thank you both of you, you can go home now. We'll unlock the shackles in a moment. So there you have it; our editor seems happy that there is a meaningful conclusion in there somewhere, though good luck finding it. Be sure to look for updates to VFS here and nowhere else next week. Editors note: While you are all aware that this is hilarious, we must stress that the opinions above are either based very loosely on what those users have said or have been completely made up in the name of hilarity. It's true. Socky's name isn't Fred at all.

Check out these pages! Disaster! Despair! Doubt! A forum from 2006! From our logs: 17:09, April 18, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.90.95.41 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (uh huh, you sure "hacked" that page alright) 14:57, April 16, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Ed Refugee 2: Electric Boogaloo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Sockpuppet/having a username that offends my Christian sensibilities) 09:00, April 15, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 149.144.196.243 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (faggot faggot faggot faggot FAGGOT. SAYING IT MORE MAKES ME MUCH COOLER THAN ALL MY OTHER FAGGOT FRIENDS.) 19:25, April 13, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 207.63.250.3 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (you're so vain you probably think this ban is about you. oh wait, it is!) 14:56, April 15, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 123.176.14.40 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Nothing here, either - merely a space where there was once an idiot) 04:35, April 14, 2011 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.8.106.90 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Take that, the Netherlands!) Biopic of the Week It seemed incredible that we hadn't delved into the psyche of Frosty before, and now that we have, we must face the gaping black hole of choices for biopics again next week (honestly, we did a biopic on a chair a few weeks ago, it's that bad). Anyway, Frosty, well I've spoken to him and looked at his userpage, and wishing no offence to him, he's a bit nuts. He's so mad about maintenance he has a little book where he records each vandal added to Ban Patrol along with details of the offence and other priceless information. If he's not doing that he is on his talk page being generally tenacious and refusing to be put off by the voices of doom that surround him; he just won't quit! He's everywhere I go; I went to vote on VFD the other day and he was there, arguing that an article needn't be deleted: sacrilege! I went to VFH to do some voting and there he was, voting and otherwise irritating me with his tenacity. So if you have a free moment why not drop by his talk page and tell him he's doing everything wrong, you'll fit right in with everyone else! Alternatively, bring a video camera and your book of articles you've added to QVFD and, in my judgement, the two of you will only incriminate yourselves. Aperture Science Handheld Featured Article Device Portal is a single-player Source-engine first-person science-fiction puzzle-action meme-causing smart-alec scalp-tearing video game by Aperture Science, dba (doing business as) Valve Software. An innovative, not overly long, well-written, critically acclaimed, award-winning game that pushed the boundaries of how gamers perceived a game's environment and physics, it is mostly known for cake, the Companion Cube, and that song at the end. A sequel, Portal 2, was announced and demonstrated at E3, and has already received critical acclaim and awards before its release. Thing we should probably mention Stuff is happening with Encyclopaedia Dramatica. Uncyclopedia is still the worst.

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:21, 21 April 2011

WHAT WHERE YOU DOING WITH MY USERPAGE??

Why did you steal my Justine Bieber article variation while I was gone?? WHY DID YOU DO THIS???? - LOL vandalz 18:09, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

Caz I stole it when you were permabanned, and I thought you weren't going to finish it. I thought I might at least finish it, but then the block settings were changed and it got returned to you, and wecome back or something... - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 22:59, April 22, 2011 (UTC)

But still, it's not nice to steal a deceased person's stuff. You should of just left it to rot where it was, there. - LOL vandalz 19:18, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

I stole stuff off Gomphog as well and nobody seems to care - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 22:10, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

Eh, better practice to copy the things, just in general, although when people are permanently banned it doesn't matter as much. They do, however, sometimes come back, as policies change, attitudes shift, minds alter... so... eh. Something to consider. 1234 ~ 23:30, 23 April 2011

Schoolhouse Rock

LOL, I am not sure what got me on a Schoolhouse Rock kick, but boy was I surprised to find new pages, I hadn't added. Thanks for your interest. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 00:18, April 24, 2011 (UTC)

I added one page... And the most obvious at that. - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 00:19, April 24, 2011 (UTC)

Your signature is too tall

Such that it affects the line-heights of the stuff around it; please, scale the image so that it is 15px tall or less. That'd probably be 10px wide. 1234 ~ 06:17, 24 April 2011

Will do, you edit conflicted me by the way - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 06:18, April 24, 2011 (UTC)

Is that better? - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 06:20, April 24, 2011 (UTC)

Ayup, thanks. And edit conflicting is what I do, man. 1234 ~ 06:43, 24 April 2011

King cold on VFD

The vote on this article is over--the article is too new for VFD and has your ICU on it--but before Lyrithya archived the debate, I commented that you were "too charitable in tagging (and protecting) a single paragraph typed by an Anon who has done nothing else here. Should have been taken straight to QVFD." It's not a rule, just my take on this specific page. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 17:23 24-Apr-11

Hmmmmm, I tend to take 1 or 2 line articles to QVFD or pages that are outright vanity etc, I thought 1 paragraph with a picture should at least be given a chance and wasn't delete on sight worthy but the ICU will expire in a couple of days and unless Mr anon shows up again itrs going to be deleted anyway. - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 22:39, April 24, 2011 (UTC)

Sounds good. Spıke ¬ 22:56 24-Apr-11

Congratulations

You should be defrosted and call yourself 'Melty'. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:18, 25 April 2011

Brrrr...

10 reasons to thank Frosty 10. You voted for User:Dr. Skullthumper/10 reasons to defrost Frosty on VFH 9. You're pretty cool 8. You participated in rigging one of Uncyclopedia's most sacred voting pages 7. Thus proving that you don't have a frigid sense of humor 6. Except you do since you voted for an article that involved freezing temperatures 5. Not even sure if that was a proper pun anyway 4. Sorry 3. I think I'm running out of numbers here 2. But I just wanted to say 1. Thanks for the vote!

– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 04:25 Apr 25, 2011

Thanks for the welcome

Black power brotha! --An African-American 10:18, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, even though I'm not African or American... - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 10:21, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, so you hate black people now? Fuck you, whitey. Guess you're wishing for a white Christmas, huh?! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 10:26, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

Well I guess Frosty the SNOWGUY was a dead giveaway. He likes white powder. (to snowboard on of course :S) Mattsnow 04:43, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Whte Christmas no, not in the southern hemisphere. Its the middle of summer... - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 06:55, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

VFH

I hope you won't mind me for asking for a pointer again! KillerFroggy nomed my article Heaven's Gate. I can't seem to find a page explaining clearly how that works. I am happy for the recognition, it would be nice to get a "feature", but the laughs I had from writing that article are a satisfaction in and of itself. I voted down that short cat poem and I am afraid it will look bad since I have an article nominated on VFH. The intention was not to bring down other's articles to bring mine up. Of course I would never vote for myself. Since I am a n00b, I don't want to alienate people. In a nutshell: should I refrain from voting on articles and Pee reviewing since I am new? Awaiting answer. Before you melt in the sunshine! Mattsnow 04:43, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

If you understand the rules and everything, you absolutly can vote on these things! - Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 06:56, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost: April 28th, 2011

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

83.54% more reliable than The Daily Mail

April 28th, 2011 • Issue 118 • A brilliant reasonable periodical.

General News Round-up By Chief It has been another uneventful week at Uncyclopedia, which, contrary to popular belief, is good for the UnSignpost. Uneventful weeks mean we can report in the vaguest terms possible the various goings on on the wiki, a task made infinitely easier through the existence of the Uncyclopedia at a glance page. For instance, did you know that here at Uncyclopedia we have featured 1,731 articles, which is approximately 7%! We don't know what it's 7% of; we aren't scientists. Uncyclopedia at a glance is a splendid resource, which the UnSignpost would recommend to anyone with a spare afternoon and no other plans for their internet usage. Elsewhere on the wiki, VFS has clunked into its final stage, with Lyrithya and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user both reaching the final round. Normally, at this point, the existing administrators vote on a candidate until the 30th of the month, whereupon a messenger is dispatched to the lair of the bureaucrats informing them whom should be afforded the gift of divinity. This Cabal memo clearly never reached Under user, who has started a vote calling for both candidates to receive adminship. "It's a disgrace, if we give them both admin rights who loses? That's the only reason I vote on these things," said unnamed cabal member ChiefjusticeDS, whose voice has been disguised in order that he remain anonymous. Meanwhile, over on the forums, Magic man proposed a meeting of the Uncyclopedians in some kind of convention, probably to be held 2 minutes walk from where he lives, slap bang in the middle of not-where-you-live-'s ville. Modusoperandi agreed with Magic man, saying "None of us are in jail," while Dexter111344 called it a "Horrific idea," which is certainly how this newspaper would react to any idea that involved meeting Dexter111344 in person without the presence of several Police officers. Finally, Dr. Skullthumper has embarked on another quest of utter pointlessness, deploying his bot and himself to "convert HTML" all over the wiki. Pity him. He knows not what he does. Uncyclopedia in the news again By Chief In an age of information overload and astonishingly inaccurate Internet posts, it's reassuring that at least one website strives to be inaccurate at all times. That website is Sign on San Diego, a parody of a news website which bills itself as having all sorts of "Hot Topics" for the people of San Diego and anyone else who might be interested. Recent Sign on San Diego headlines include: "San Diego's air pollution among worst in nation", "Man robs downtown restaurant" and "Reward offered in transient assault case". This leads us to the article that they mentioned, which was about the "fast-rising" Biffy Clyro, the article is in dire need of rewriting but we know better than most not to let quality stand in the way of meeting journalistic deadlines. The crux of the matter is that Biffy Clyro are playing a show in San Diego, which you should attend, provided you aren't dying of air pollution, being robbed in restaurants or assaulted. The article also mentioned <insert name here>'s sterling and exemplary contributions to Uncyclopedia since they joined. The truth is, alas, somewhat less colourful. We lied. They didn't. Naruto By Nobody It is still garbage that babies read.

Check out these pages! Cool! Not cool! Lolwut? Teh lulz! From our logs: 17:29, April 23, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Jesus-semen-swallowing-christ (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Great username. Rubbish understanding of the rules.) 21:03, April 21, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Javi.p (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (That wasn't very nice, I'm not very nice, I don't like ice cream, Ice cream gives me a headache, banning gets rid of headaches, you get a ban. That's joined up thinking right there) 02:08, April 24, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Kevillips (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (YOU DIDN'T SIGN YOUR WELCOME TEMPLATE, YOU MONSTER) 04:01, April 21, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.135.37.38 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (blah blah blah something about blowing me) 04:35, April 27, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Carking1996 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Created an account just to spam "tits", eh? Nice work, moron.) Biopic of the Week This week, the biopic is given over to the most important aspect of Uncyclopedia. The voting. Voting underpins our community in much the same way as McDonalds underpins capitalism and a lack of McDonalds underpins Jihad. Without it, we don't get articles featured or deleted. Without it, you would/wouldn't have gotten your awards, you would/wouldn't have been made an administrator. We need voting and it needs us. So for all of you who are leaving it to other people, why not try it now? You can stop when you're dead. Serious zone Votes on awards like Noob of the month and Uncyclopedian of the month are really important for making people want to keep coming back here; try to do some voting at the very least. Serious zone ends Knickers. Newsroom UnTune of the week Oscar's Rap (I'm a Wilde guy) Public service announcement You people should all be ashamed of yourselves. End of message.

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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 06:17, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Your Lollipop

For voting for me to become a rollback.

--(talk) 02:46, 1 May 2011

Yeah you should go tell Rcmurphy that I should have it to, I'll give a snowball or something o_O -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 03:19, May 1, 2011 (UTC)

You have it. Where's my snowball? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:36, 8 May 2011

Secretary

I appreciate that you like the article and whatever, but you can't just namespace something all willy-nilly like that. You have to go through the proper channels; that is, talk to the user and have him move it himself. Otherwise we'd have a crazy situation where anyone could do anything.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 02:35, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

Hey he's a newbie I was just being nice to them -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 02:39, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

The correct answer is, "OK, sorry," or if you don't understand, "OK, but could you explain to me your rationale?" I'll assume you meant the latter. The fact is, we can't have users moving stuff around in others' userspaces. That would be a terrible precedent and potentially cause a horrible mess. I understand you meant well, so I'm just telling you that, next time, you should just contact them on their talk page.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 02:42, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

Does disagreeing get me banned? Yes fair enough I suppose. -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 02:44, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

No, disagreeing doesn't get you banned. Disregarding, however, does. Bear that in mind going forward. And you don't have to reply to this one, because I know you read it.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 02:47, May 3, 2011 (UTC)

Signpost Un

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

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May 5th, 2011 • Issue 119 • I sense a great disturbance in the force.

VFS ends. Apathy grips wiki. By Chief Those of you who were busy having sex with ladies/men/melons on Saturday evening will have stumbled onto the wiki and discovered that there are in fact two new administrators stumbling around the wiki. Since none of you can find things out for yourself, you have sat, baffled, waiting for the UnSignpost to arrive like a beacon: VFS has drawn to a conclusion and the unlucky losers are Lyrithya and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user. Following the announcement and the ritual slaying of a goat that Zombiebaron always insists upon before any new administrators may make use of their powers, the two victors went straight back to what they had been doing before - looking at depraved images on the internet, categorising, looking at fetish porn and indeed categorising fetish porn. Scandal immediately ensued; administrators do not categorise. This not being enough, however, the UnSignpost has taken to the streets of Uncyclopedia to find out what the community thinks about the new additions to the Cabal. The first place our journalists visited was the Ministry of Love, which stands at the centre of Uncyclopedia's financial district, or it would if Uncyclopedia had a financial district. We were thrilled to speak to the duty Cabal representative Zombiebaron, who, when pressed about the empirical significance of the VFS result, slammed his hand down on the table and exclaimed "Zombiebaron". It would seem that a great deal of things are in fact Zombiebaron: the likelihood of the new administrators being embroiled in scandal and VFS voting in general, to name but a few. We also got the opportunity to sit down with Mhaille after he fell out of a vent as we were leaving and find out what he thought of Lyrithya and Socky being administrators. "In theory its a nice idea, but I wouldn't like to see it in practice" he replied "There are far more deserving people who have only recently discovered the site and hold overinflated opinions of themselves who would be better suited". Before we could explain that the VFS has actually taken place, Mhaille collapsed from dehydration and, not wishing to make a fuss, we left him in the lobby. It turns out nobody is particularly bowled over by the result of the VFS; the result having been obvious for about 2 weeks now, this lead to the announcement being met with grunts and sighs about "The state of things". We decided to see what Socky and Lyrithya had to say about their new powers. "It feels invigorating. Though somehow, I hardly feel a difference," mused Socky. "It's like being castrated" he added... with his eyes. Lyrithya, meanwhile, was not available to comment, which shows that she is taking her new role seriously, namely by leaving shortly after being appointed in the style of the greats of 2006. Mordillo is Dead! By a reputable journalist Uncyclopedia's most hated loved Bureaucrat and Administrator has been shot dead by US Special Forces in Northern Pakistan. Mordillo, who had been hunted by Uncyclopedia since disappearing into hiding in early March, died in the early hours of Monday morning (local time) after a group of 25 US Navy SEALS breached his lavish compound in Abbottabad. The Cabal has yet to acknowledge the death of one of their most senior members of staff; this is simply because they are all far too busy crying. Some conspiracy theorists have suggested that Mordillo was extracted from the safehouse in the early hours of Sunday morning and replaced with Osama Bin Laden. These lunatics cite the bearded aspect of the victim and his radical Islamic tendencies, which we cannot now see, as so-called "evidence". Rumours that Mordillo has fled to western Europe are unconfirmed drivel and you are discouraged from looking for him without a submarine, since his body was buried at sea in order to save you footing the bill for having any photographs developed. Uncyclopedians around the world have been warned to brace themselves for possible retaliation from Mordillo's cohorts and reminded to live in abject fear of authority at all times. For now you can sleep peacefully in your beds at night because Mordillo is certainly dead, oh yes, can't get much more dead than the dead he is now...

Check out these pages! Modus' Pants Pain MadMax Pants Pain Solution Pain in your pants? A Pain in the Neck From our logs. New Admin Special: 07:18, May 4, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I've had it with this place.) 06:50, May 4, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Obvious vandal.) 08:54, May 2, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked <insert name here> (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a large Yak (Your support of my grand plan to destroy the wiki shall not go unappreciated. Thank you.) 21:57, May 2, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Osama bin Laden (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (You're dead, lol.) 21:33, May 2, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love?) 20:21, April 30, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) resurrected Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) ‎ (hasn't annoyed anyone in the last 5 minutes) 21:49, May 2, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) resurrected Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) ‎ (I am Jesus!) Biopic of the Week As is the tradition when new administrators grace the wiki with their presence, the biopic is devoted to making the crusty, less flexible older admins feel better about not being able to touch their toes. While the administrators have absolute dominion over your continued interaction with this, the most splendid of websites, they are just like you. As Famine explained in his essay, the administrators have a difficult job to do and there are no bitch benefits; honestly you ask any administrator how many bitches they have picked up with their "I'm an administrator on Uncyclopedia" line, the answer? None. How then, I hear you cry, could anyone do the job? Well it's very simple, they don't; all administrators inevitably snap like dry reeds eventually. Some of them leave, some of them die and still others go and get a life. Don't be too hard on the rest of them and certainly don't try to be like them, why not try to be like Chuck Norris instead? Think of the bitch benefits! Did You Know? Sometimes we have to resort to incredibly stupid custom boxes in order to make the two columns be of similar lengths? It isn't essential but symmetry should never be left to rot at the side of the road no matter how many times you have to beat it into shape with a spade. This isn't one of those times by the way. Just thought you'd like to know. Newsroom UnTune of the week Artsy and Misunderstood: A Bedroom Emo Song

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:21, 5 May 2011

HowTo:Become an Assassin

Hi Frosty, I hope you're doing good! I wondered what you would think of that article. That is the first one I wrote here, the ED influence is definitely there but I removed all the swearing and profanity. BTW, I spotted an article, HowTo:Become An Hero that would fit better on ED, it's incredible that people think they can be funny while talking about a 12 year old who committed suicide. And also, is it common practice for people to self-nom? Later, snowguy! Mattsnow 05:48, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

Oh cool! I am glad you liked it! Really. I also finished re-writing Québec. There is like 2 paragraph left from the original. It might be funnier to somebody who is in Canada. (Where you at? With a name like that, certainly not in Congo lol) Mattsnow 07:59, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

I'm actually in Australia, also not particularly cold. -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 08:16, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

User:RobertWhyte

Is massively removing cruft from a crufty article a bad thing? I rollbacked without looking because his name was red, but I'm not convinced his edits are destructive. If he's being an idiot, it's for not using edit summaries and engaging in a revert war. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 05:12, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

He placed one paragraph (I had a good look at what he's edits were), with one sentence about cane toads, replacing something funny with something stupid and that consistant with the edit, his edits are destructive and a give away is the removal of over 10,000 bytes -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 05:15, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

Another thing Lyrithya just gave him a 2 week ban, obviously not good... -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 05:16, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

Well, Lyrtihya's a girl so I wouldn't trust her judgment on much beyond interior design. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 05:17, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

Edit War

You already know what I said. Either you work with Robertwhyte or you let him be. You were just being a good user, though, so you're forgiven.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 05:34, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

There's a pigeon on your head. You have headpigeons. I got your email. Just now. I thought you should know. It's good your came on IRC. Er. Sorry about the confusion. I was just leaving. 1234 ~ 07:04, 7 May 2011

Oh lovely, I have a donut... like really... -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 07:06, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

Doughnuts won't be enough ward off the pigeons for long... get ye to a doctor! 1234 ~ 19:00, 8 May 2011

Chuck Taylor page

Hi. Is there a way to restore this page since it was deleted? I tried to contact the person who deleted it, Zombiebaron and he/she has not responded. They also did not give me a chance to fix it and make it funnier. It would have been nice to have other users help so it would not have to face deletion, if you know what I mean. Thanks. Just89 16:33, May 8, 2011 (UTC)

Sometimes it takes folks awhile to respond; some come on more than others, that kind of thing. You can also try asking another admin if it takes alarmingly long, though. 1234 ~ 19:31, 8 May 2011

Yeah what she said... -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 02:24, May 9, 2011 (UTC)

Moving other user's pages

• Is there a reason why you have been moving pages from other user's userspaces into your own userspace? -- The Zombiebaron 07:48, May 10, 2011 (UTC)

I suppose not really... Revert it if its that much of an issue -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 07:49, May 10, 2011 (UTC)

Actually it is an issue, and it surprises me that you wouldn't have thought that it would be. This is totally uncool. Please revert all of the page moves yourself. -- The Zombiebaron 07:51, May 10, 2011 (UTC)

I actually have to go out now, if you want me to do it it'll have to wait about 24 hours before I can get back on, ban me for 20 hours if you think I'm lying just to prove it, I'm not... -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 07:53, May 10, 2011 (UTC)

Oh don't worry I believe you. I'll come back and check to see if you've done the reverts sometime in the next few days, and if you haven't that's when you can expect a ban. -- The Zombiebaron 07:55, May 10, 2011 (UTC)

I have moved 1 page from Lollipops old account to his current one, one I moved to mine, I have removed the page to Lollipops current one, good? Now in all seriousness I have to leave! -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 07:57, May 10, 2011 (UTC)

That will do for now. However, this is not the first time that you have moved pages in other user's userspaces without their permission. On April 11th you moved two pages from Gomphog's userspace and a page from Anouther n00b's userspace to your own. Even though those users are banned, that does not give you the right to muck about in their userspaces. Please consider this as your final warning, because if you move a page in another user's userpace again without permission or a good reason you will be banned. -- The Zombiebaron 08:05, May 10, 2011 (UTC)

The Signpost is delivered to all God-fearing citizens

The Conservapedia Signpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

May 12th, 2011 • Issue 120 • Now with no liberal bias!

Uncyclopedia By a concerned citizen After coercing my children/wife into silence and praising the lord Jesus Christ for my newspaper, my toothpaste, the constitution and this great nation, I decided that some time on the internet would bring the morning to an appropriately spiritual conclusion. "Praise the Lord," I murmured as the computer hummed into life; all seemed right in the world as the Lord unendingly smote the unrighteous in my desktop background. Conservapedia recognises that liberalism is spreading and nowhere is this more obvious than Uncyclopedia, which mocks the Lord by using one of his divine creations (a potato) for a logo and being entirely dedicated to spreading lies and half-truths, something we know nothing about at Conservapedia. The site is a temple of blasphemy, gayness and, inevitably, liberalism. As I was being disgusted by the liberalism of the font on the main page and the colour of the links, I was astounded to come across a man asking other men to risk their virtue in a game of strip poker with him. All young men should take heed and embrace God, not Olipro. Poker is also for girls. The so-called forums (a liberal Greek invention) harbor further discussion of user rights; the liberals are erecting their false idols and they venerate these idols and bestrew them with titles. The discussion of the week was over who was the most liberal of the most liberal liberals and which of them should be raised above the others for further worship. Words fail; I had lied to myself (a sin for which I shall be punished) that liberalism was a passing fad, but these people are obsessed with the restriction of their spiritual and physical abilities through their hollow attempts at humor. This Zombiebaron will get his reward in Hell. His very username mocks the Almighty and he shall be punished for his attempted levity. This community is a threat to children, happiness and America. Don't burn with them. MadMax By a slightly less concerned citizen This community of half-wits, liberals, crazies and liberals will burn in Hell, but until that glorious moment of candescence, it is as well that they amuse themselves and only incriminate themselves further in the eyes of the Lord (I do not want to meet any reformed crazies in Heaven). One of Uncyclopedia's faux Gods, MadMax, has conceived a competition to amuse the masses and likely stir homosexual feelings within them. Notice we used the word conceive because it is the only thing MadMax, who is an ABORTIONIST, probably, will ever conceive. Here is how this competition will work: users will spawn articles of varying levels of depravity and sin, which will then be judged by a group of judges, unelected no less, who will select the article containing the most depraved acts and leather harnesses in which unmentionable acts will be perpetrated to be the victor. The person with the worst article is eliminated, sadly only from the competition, and the winners go on to face each other in some kind of orgy to see who will be the winner. This festival of depravity has been going on since last Sunday and this correspondent has no doubt that the only reason it is not finished yet is because liberals are famously lazy, a well known symptom of atheism and pro-choice views. We did not sit down with MadMax to discuss this competition; it was bad enough reading about it. MadMax has indicated his intention to hold the competition again on a larger scale if the trial goes well. We wish him the best of luck and an eternity in the very deepest pit of Hell.

Don't check out these sinful pages! Satanic Images Satanic Messages Fornication They are a gift from God From their Satanic logs: 04:02, May 11, 2011 Ljlego (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.126.198.194 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (No, YOU'RE super duper gay) 09:40, May 10, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Xxseanpikexx (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Dear Mr Pike: Please get a life. Sincerely, everyone who has ever known you) 22:56, May 9, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Towcar (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Cyberbullying: Be nice, will you? Everything goes so much smoother when everyone dones their fake smiles and wears arbitrary masks...) 22:23, May 7, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked GoUncyclopedia! (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (hahahahaahahah AND YOU STILL CANT SIGN POSTS) 19:05, May 6, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (dep. re. cat. ed. tags.) Takeover of the Week As you may have noticed this week, the UnSignpost comes from the lovely people at Conservapedia, a temporary change because occasionally we like to go a bit crazy. That said, we cannot neglect biopic of the week, so we are devoting it entirely to Jesus. What can you say about Jesus? He's not active on recent changes, hasn't been seen around here for what feels like 2000 years and when he was around he generally acted like he owned the place, and was, regrettably, banned indefinitely by Pontius Pilate: 20:37, Nissan 14, 33AD Pontius Pilate (Talk | contribs) blocked Jesus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Making me cross! Ha ha ha) Honest, that actually happened. Incidentally, if there was a Cabal, they would take this opportunity to remind you to question nothing you are told. Reason to leave Uncyclopedia #9,000 The liberal bias, there's just so much liberal bias. Satanic verse of the week Ain't Another Way

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:46, 12 May 2011

Bot

Thanks for your welcome. This is my bot account, I will need to receive a flag. Risen912 23:01, May 14, 2011 (UTC)

Talk to an administrator about it... here -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 23:02, May 14, 2011 (UTC)

WHAT???

You have been blocked for the following reason;

Vandalism and disruption.

Date the block will be lifted; June 5th.

Um, why can I still edit if its May the 16th? -- Frosty dah snowguy contribs GUN PLEB 07:27, May 16, 2011 (UTC)