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Ev'nin' Guvnor, cast yer mincepies at Uncyclopædia Britannica, the content-free encyclopedia that any Tom, Dick or 'Arry can edit. Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'! Good Queen Bess has inspired us to work on 36,706 articles since opening in January 2005. Jolly well, old chaps. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five, if you will. Colonisations for the week include Canada, Newfoundland, Australia and New Zealand. Rule Britannia! Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...

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On the telly tonight Hello there, folks. I'm Howard Hughes. You might remember me from such films as The Aviator, The Crazy Paranoid Billionaire and Boobs in the Sky. Tonight I'm going to talk to you about how Motorized Shopping Carts are the way of the future. The way of the future. The way of the future. (Full article...) Recently featured: G3 Motorized Shopping Cart HowTo:Remove a washing machine from the face of the earth Template:Intermission Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favourite Pop Idol to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Britannica Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Lest we forget January 9: Open Mic Night Day 1927 - Hey, guys. Gonna do some standup today. How's it going Denver, yeah, so my girlfriend, it's our, by the way it's our three year anniversary... 1930 - The SUN. Clap. The LIGHT tears my HEART into STRANDS. Clap. My FACE, ENGULFED in SHIT. Clap. I am ALONE. Alone. Alone... 1936 - Uh, you ever been, like, you ever been like on the bus, and like, uh, the uh.... So, this old dude, and he, and this was the funny part, he had den— dentures and I had a whole bucket of, oh God, excuse me.... 1942 - So the U-R-L is, A-R-Y-A-N dash promise, except there's, uh, two s's, dot R-U slash resources slash the truth about almond milk dot H-T-M, with no spaces, again, that's A-R— 1950 - Women, can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em, amirite? You fuckers, you fucking millennial shitheads my shit is gold, I've been doing comedy since before you were a stain in your— 1967 - 🎝Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you.🎝 By now— who threw that!? Who threw that!? Ye Royal Archives	Paddington Blair's word for today is procrastination Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit Auntie Beeb reports: Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeene... Weezer makes Death angry Rivers gets promoted by President Biden UnNews' Exclusive Interview with God: Part 3 This Year's Eurovision News: Iran to replace Hungary Greece: Zeus will smite anti-vaxxers President Partons turkey (Pictured) Girl remembers breakup song All too well Britpop fan's opinion on the Dexter revival Oscar the Grouch, Bert fired over vaccine mandates Windows 11 JBE will be hitting shelves just in time for Christmas A*Teens reunite 40 years later UnNews' exclusive interview with God R.E.M. members reunite, sign gigantic deal Patrick eats SpongeBob O.J. Simpson to make triumphant return to acting Citizen Kane sucks John Kerry comes out as a horse Supermarket thief: "Donkey Kong told me to" Mike Pence turns into a pickle More Current Events at Beeb News edit Did you chaps know... ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand? Do you blimey care... ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website? Care to read more?
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United Empire Loyalist of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Hooray! World Peace! Let us all stand in a circle and dance!

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