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Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'!

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Many great thinkers have transposed themselves onto the Byronic hero both as an archetypal platform for their frustrated over inflated egos and a reason to reject perceived authorities. Highbrow teenage rebellion is best understood as personifying the Byronic hero. In most, if not all real life and fictional Byronic heroes are far from being teenagers and should have grown out of it in their late teens and early twenties.

It is a common misnomer to confuse the Byronic hero with the Anti-Hero mode, the difference is that while the anti-hero has some genuine moment of altering his path, the Byronic hero is too preoccupied with power and sex to grasp this and so remains static and shallow. The man who gave us the 'Byronic' hero was the writer-poet-poser Lord George Byron. A celebrated English wit of the Romantic era and a man who could talk any woman (or man if it was winter) out of their clothes and into his bed within five minutes. (Full article...)

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Lest we forget

September 27: Being Fooled by Nigerian Scammers Day

1822: Jean-François Champollion announces that he has deciphered the Rosetta stone. It begins, "Dear sir, I am the cousin of the former finance minister of Nigeria, Ngubo Mbobobo..."
1882: Oscar Wilde is notified that he has been selected to receive £24.9 million from persecuted Nigerian businessman Mr. Mboto Nzuzuwawe! All he has to do is telegraph his checking account number!
1942: Adolf Hitler gets scammed out of all of Nazi Germany's tank anti-freeze budget by a Nigerian claiming to need a small sum of money to export his emu stock and giant vast fortunes.
2005: George W. Bush announces a 10,000,000 USD injection into the US economy, after receiving an email from "Dr. David Ngumutumutu" who has all this money from some American guy's Nigerian bank account, who died in a plane crash with the rest of his family.
2010: You go onto Uncyclopedia.org and check what anniversary it is after you paid a Nigerian $500 because he claimed to know the secret of life and that it was on this website.

Ye Royal Archives

Paddington Blair's word for today is
procrastination
Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.

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Auntie Beeb reports:

A*Teens reunite 40 years later
UnNews' exclusive interview with God (Pictured)
R.E.M. members reunite, sign gigantic deal
Patrick eats SpongeBob
O.J. Simpson to make triumphant return to acting
Citizen Kane sucks
John Kerry comes out as a horse
Supermarket thief: "Donkey Kong told me to"
Mike Pence turns into a pickle
It is all happening
Lady Gaga's dogs stolen, returned
Björk responds to Anti-Asian violence
Stan Marsh presents: 2022 FIFA World Cup sucks ass
Biden responds to North Korea's "Stink" complaints
BMI songwriters (but not ASCAP) to receive vaccine
Governor Cuomo from New York is screwed
Grodin Museum reopens to public
Old movies are suddenly offensive
Northeast getting another blizzard
Just another dead doper and a dirtbag dies
Marilyn Manson removed from New Radicals hit
Biden will recognize Hillary as 45th President

More Current Events at Beeb News

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Did you chaps know...

... that Alexander isn't really that Great?

Do you blimey care...[edit]

... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?

Care to read more?

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Recent dispatches from the colonies:

United Empire Loyalist of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You now only have 3, god dammit, 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!