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Ev'nin' Guvnor, cast yer mincepies at Uncyclopædia Britannica, the content-free encyclopedia that any Tom, Dick or 'Arry can edit. Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'! Good Queen Bess has inspired us to work on 36,300 articles since opening in January 2005. Jolly well, old chaps. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five, if you will. Colonisations for the week include Canada, Newfoundland, Australia and New Zealand. Rule Britannia! Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...

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On the telly tonight Hermaphrodite is the Greek deity of love, beauty and transsexuality. They were an idol of great worship in Ancient Greece, and many temples were built in their honor. Hermaphrodite is best known for their extreme ugliness and grossness, as they possesses both male and female "qualities," which would be hot if they didn't possess the repulsive qualities of each gender (like a hairy Choda and monthly yeast infections). Eventually, Hermaphrodite was tired of the other Gods razzing them all the time, fled Mount Olympus, and started their own religion, Hermaphroditology. Hermaphrodite is still widely worshipped as a deity today by a small and still declining European pagan population, and a small but increasing transgender population. (Full article...) Recently featured: Redundancy/newpedia Among Us/Newpedia Human rights Hermaphrodite Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favourite Pop Idol to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Britannica Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Lest we forget January 25: Shit January's Almost Over? Day 1890 - Nellie Bly (Pictured) crosses the world in only 72 days, is faced with the nagging feeling that the stove might still be on the whole journey. 1949 - The first Emmy Awards are televised, audiences everywhere smash their television sets for "growing an ego." 1971 - Idi Amin wins upset election in Uganda after the other candidate is mysteriously shot forty-seven times in the back. 1995 - The Russians almost launch their nuclear weapons after mistaking an atmospheric missile for a giant middle finger. 1996 - The last man to be hanged in America, immediately regrets choosing to be hanged seconds after hanging. 1998 - Pope John Paul II visits Cuba, condemns the country for its human rights abuses after a mojito he ordered took "too damn long" to arrive. Ye Royal Archives	Paddington Blair's word for today is fnord Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit Auntie Beeb reports: A look back at Bernie Sanders' presidency so far (Pictured) Trump gets uncredited from everything UnNews editorial about the January 6th attack 2020 refuses to concede, vows to continue one more year Trump sues Coronavirus for infection fraud Jesus is given a one-year ban TV series Glee responsible for all the problems of 2020 Girl bleeding everywhere gets white water all over her slide The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World got updated by COVID-19 Thanksgiving is cancelled (again) Trump urges Van Helsing: STOP THE COUNT! Joe Biden wins, CNN calls it "fake news" Dewey defeats Kanye Dollar Tree shit smear mystery solved Anti-maskers ignore Halloween Facemasks are a conspiracy by Silver Shamrock This week's horoscopes! UnNews remembers Eddie Van Halen Mr. Krabs's tax returns released Trump has the hoax virus CDC recommends eating boogers Kanye West talks about Rolling Stone's new 500 Greatest Albums list Joe Biden to remake The Mask Middle Eastern journalists cannot wait for the 9/11 20th anniversary Biden being controlled by Dark Shadows Conways take political break in order to watch Urkel reruns Satanic heavy metal drummer becomes born-again Christian Trump's vocabulary reaches 50 words Van Morrison's brain dies of COVID-19 Trump attacks derpy pony US replaces SATs with CAPTCHA Q announces peace between Q's and Q Biden announces dead wrestler Kamala as running mate Biden selects Strong Woman as running mate UnNews remembers Ennio Morricone Supreme Court to David Byrne: "This is not your beautiful wife" The Big Bang Theory pulled for being pizza-face Your favorite show is renewed for 9th season The Police shorten band name to "The" over controversy TV's Cops cancelled 25 years too late Pink Floyd killed by coronavirus Kalifornische Beamte erklären das Ego von Elon Musk für wesentlich Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization Your cat's gonna kill you Christof from The Truman Show dies aged 74 More Current Events at Beeb News edit Did you chaps know... ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage? Do you blimey care... ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? Care to read more?
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United Empire Loyalist of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You have less than a week, just 6 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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