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On the telly tonight

Neville Chamberlain by William Orpen.jpg

I spoke with my diplomat Sir Nevile Henderson today. I call him Hendie as we are good-old chums, and since we have very similar first-names and I'm the Prime Minister, I shouldn't be the one with the slightly girly nickname.

Anyway, I was trying to make the point that we ought to let Germany sort the Austrian mess out, because I was convinced that most of the trouble was coming from within Austria itself, and nothing to do with what somebody called 'Propaganda' emanating from the Nazi Party machine. 'Now look here', I said, pointing at myself because Hendie does have a habit of staring into space, 'What's this propaganda talk? Hmm? Are you meaning to tell me that that decent Austrian fellow, tells the newspapers what to write so he can justify his aggression towards Europe?' I said this whilst gesticulating at poor Hendie with my index finger in the manner of a schoolmaster. (Full article...)

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Lest we forget

July 6: Man Milk Day

  • 2300 BC – Chinese religious officers declared that drinking milk is a sin.
  • 1609 – Bohemia is granted freedom of religion. The Bohemians snap their fingers in approval.
  • 1732 – The 'Running of the Bulls' Festival in Pamploma, originally, 'The Drowning of the Animals' Festival, undergoes Major overhaul. PETA established.
  • 1946George W. Bush born; record numbers of brain death recorded in America.
  • 1977 – Idiot deems day "Man Milk Day" and proceeds to schedule lame events (Editor advises they read the article "How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid")
  • 1978Margaret Thatcher blesses the first man to be milked.
  • 1986Mike Portnoy founded the band Dream Theater
  • 1988 – Shemales riot near Rio de Janeiro to obtain the rights for selling their milk to earn a living.
  • 1996 – Mike Portnoy travels back in time to found the band Dream Theater
  • 2004 – Man Milk is found to be an excellent source of energy for athletes. Naturally, using it in this fashion is outlawed by the U.N. under pressure by the Gatorade overlords of the universe.
  • 2006 – San Seattle Riot kills 6 Caloringtons

Ye Royal Archives

Paddington Blair's word for today is
Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.

Auntie Beeb reports:

Homeland renewed for 9th season
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  • ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?

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United Empire Loyalist of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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