Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'!
Jolly well, old chaps. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five, if you will.
On the telly tonight
I spoke with my diplomat Sir Nevile Henderson today. I call him Hendie as we are good-old chums, and since we have very similar first-names and I'm the Prime Minister, I shouldn't be the one with the slightly girly nickname.
Anyway, I was trying to make the point that we ought to let Germany sort the Austrian mess out, because I was convinced that most of the trouble was coming from within Austria itself, and nothing to do with what somebody called 'Propaganda' emanating from the Nazi Party machine. 'Now look here', I said, pointing at myself because Hendie does have a habit of staring into space, 'What's this propaganda talk? Hmm? Are you meaning to tell me that that decent Austrian fellow, tells the newspapers what to write so he can justify his aggression towards Europe?' I said this whilst gesticulating at poor Hendie with my index finger in the manner of a schoolmaster. (Full article...)
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Lest we forget
July 6: Man Milk Day
Paddington Blair's word for today is
Auntie Beeb reports:
Did you chaps know...
Do you blimey care...
Recent dispatches from the colonies:
United Empire Loyalist of the Month
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
For haggis-related IRC chat, see this instructional video.