Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'!
Jolly well, old chaps. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five, if you will.
On the telly tonight
Saturday, October 3, 2020
The Center for Disease Control released a statement this week recommending that Americans eat their own boogers to curb the spread of coronavirus. A months-long study shows eating boogers to be the most effective strategy in the battle against COVID-19; much more effective than social distancing, washing hands or coughing into a condom. The science behind booger-eating is that the virus typical gets trapped in mucus, which crusts over and encloses the virus. Before the virus can escape, you have to eat it and let it be destroyed by your stomach acids. In addition to destroying the virus at the source, further studies show that booger consumption builds the immune system, and thus keeps you protected against COVID and other diseases. A person who regularly commits to a steady diet of boogers is essentially impervious to death. (Full article...)
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Lest we forget
October 24: Evil Villian Appreciation Day, National Put The Ramones On at Full Volume And Piss Off The Neighbors Day, World Beauty Festival, Stupid Worthless Useless Day, Hooverville Appreciation Day.
Paddington Blair's word for today is
Auntie Beeb reports:
Did you chaps know...
Do you blimey care...
Recent dispatches from the colonies:
United Empire Loyalist of the Month
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
For haggis-related IRC chat, see this instructional video.