Astolfo
Astolfo (commonly referred to as Rider of Black, or simply Rider) is a certified servant in France who drinks Monster Energy while not dealing with the ninth holy grail war. Mistakenly attributed as the average Polish male according to Poland haters, Astolfo does not give a flying fuck as to whatever race they think he is as many of his cosplayer fans celebrate him for being a free spirited individual.
But... he?[edit | edit source]
Yes. he... what? Did i crush your romantical desires on an anime trap? Did i shatter the honeymoon plans you made to take him out to some place with a fecal infected beach? were you really going to sleep with him? If you answered yes to those three questions, you have indeed fell victim to an anime trap. And no, he is not transgender (looking at you, Jesse Watters). Because of his unique personalities, many will naturally make jokes varying in sexuality to a degree about this uniquely accomplished gentlegirl, as showcased down below:
- "When there's a hole, there's a goal."
- "Sometimes, the best girl takes the best man"
- "we all know he’s a good rider"
- "I'm not gay, but... [insert Astolfo related sentence]"
And so on, and so forth.
Who is this girl- i mean boy?[edit | edit source]
Great question! To give you more background information, Astolfo is a fascinating (sometimes sexualizing to some of the Type-Moon and Anime fandoms) character from the Type-Moon universe, specifically featured in the "Fate" series. He first appeared in the light novel series Fate/Apocrypha, which was released in 2012, although there is no way you would've actually read the manga, lets be real. Astolfo is summoned as the Rider of Black during the Great Holy Grail War, a conflict between two factions of Masters and Servants vying for the mythical Holy Grail.
The real Astolfo was one of the Twelve Paladins of Charlemagne, a group of legendary knights from medieval European lore. Like thats it, thats all there is to the 'real' Astolfo; lets get back to it, you horny reader. We know you're attracted to him.
Known for his optimism and cheerfulness, Astolfo is also infamous for his lack of common sense, a trait that aligns with his carefree depiction in historical legends. In Fate/Apocrypha, Astolfo is initially summoned by Celenike Icecolle Yggdmillennia (literally just a master who kept him as a sex slave by licking Astolfo as "educational compliments"), but later forms a new contract with Sieg, Astolfo's greatest crush; his relationship with Sieg is central to his character development, showcasing his loyalty and romantic feelings, and that might explain why he's commonly considered gay. His appearance and personality have made him a standout character in the Type-Moon community, especially as a cross-dressing, biological male with an androgynous appearance. However, he is comfortable allowing others to perceive him as either gender, which has contributed to his popularity and unique identity within the franchise, because he mainly believes in being free spirited as we mentioned above, and not giving a fuck about what MAGA believes.
How is he depicted?[edit | edit source]
Well, we already established him to be increasingly sexualized, though bing for once actually has a decent web filter if you search up images of Astolfo from Fate/Apocrypha, provided you ignore the first image. As his cheerful demeanor and unique traits have made him a popular choice for cosplay and fan art, there's plenty of images for you dear reader to look at, whether you want to admire his beautiful appearance or jerk to it. Whatever floats your boat is all that matters at the end of the day. And theres apparently a sanitizer dispenser designed to resemble him ejaculating what the shit?
While Astolfo's representation in the Type-Moon universe is exaggerated compared to historical accounts, his character retains key elements from the original legends. For example, he is depicted as a paladin and a good warrior, although his cross-dressing side is less prominent in historical sources.
Astolfo's weaponry and abilities are also noteworthy. He wields a lance and rides a Hippogriff, a mythical creature that adds to his fantastical appeal, but there was allegedly a Serbian femboy dressed as him who wielded an AK-47 while genociding a village full of ethnic bosnians, which prompted accusations that Astolfo sided with the JNA during the Bosnian War. Rider of Black has denied these allegations, though he notably did not chastise those who defame him because he believes in being free spirited. These elements are consistent with his portrayal in medieval European lore, even though the latest holy grail war happens every fucking month in a small Romanian village outside of Bucharest. His interactions with other Servants and Masters in Fate/Apocrypha showcase his versatility and adaptability, especially when letting a segregated clone (Sieg) run free. Despite his lack of common sense, Astolfo often surprises others with his resourcefulness and determination.
Astolfo's role in- ok how many holy grail wars? oh the Great Holy Grail War? ok so it was that war? gotcha- the Great Holy Grail War is pivotal, as he contributes to key battles and moments that shape the outcome of the conflict. He might be clumsy and fail at times, but he's too cute and adorable to behead or otherwise exterminate. His unwavering optimism serves as a source of inspiration for his allies, specifically in Sieg. His character challenges traditional gender norms and celebrates diversity, making him a beloved figure among fans because why wouldn't he? Astolfo's popularity has also sparked discussions about representation and inclusivity in media. His character serves as an example of how fictional works can explore complex themes while remaining entertaining. And no Disney, you're not making a live action movie about Astolfo.
In summary, Astolfo's history within the Type-Moon universe is a blend of historical inspiration and modern creativity, and holy shit we just covered everything, stop asking me for more.
Astolfo's Sexual Orientation & Personal Life[edit | edit source]
Previously, this entire article was a redirect to Gay as per the doing of this one uncyclopedian (you know who you are), though, I mean... he's kinda notable I guess? This leads to a debate over his sexual orientation. Those students who massively failed gender study at their local public university have incorrectly asserted that Astolfo is a transgender women. To give them the benefit of the doubt, he's already there without losing his extension cord. Even the creators behind Astolfo were very traumatized over not recognizing their character as a biological male. Perhaps the answer closer to the truth is that he's an openly closeted bisexual/pansexual. HOWEVER, the creators in the Type-Moon community did not specify his orientation, so tread carefully you silly goober.
Oh great, good job you horny people, now my parents are going to find this in the hidden search history. Look, I just want to get done with my time here in kilwaukee. Just stop it.
ok i lied, im not done yet. I should also mention that he used to live in Romania, but after Sieg freed Astolfo from being fake, Astolfo moved out to who knows where and legend has it, he's fighting against those freedom fighting, irredentistical, conservative valuing russkies in Russia. Some say he was the Ghost of Kyiv, others say he was behind bombing those children in Donetsk. Whatever the case may be, he will always be our special Astolfo.
thank you for coming to my TED talk on a femboy, check out these other topics:
- Holy shit, what do I do if im attached to him???
- Where does his English voiceover live?
- Astolfo's favorite drink (on the battlefields)
- Astolfo's alleged favorite drink (denied by him)
