Gaytopia is the name of a mythical place of legend, where rainbow unicorns roam and a man can marry another man unhindered. A place where bigotry and intolerance have no meaning, and where fashion sense is always fabulous. A place where a bathhouse is just a bathhouse and never has the word "gay" as a prefix. A place where walking stereotypes are everywhere to be seen but have no idea that they are stereotypes. Yep, folks, welcome to GAYTOPIA!
Gaytopia was founded during a gay man's wet dream. He had a dream that one day, people of all sexual creeds (as long as they were homosexual) would be able to march around with pride in leather bondage outfits. He had a dream that one day, television sitcoms about gay men living with straight women would not be taboo. He had a dream of men prancing in unison in green fields with butterflies wearing only leather chaps, white collars and black bow ties. Then he awoke, changed his underwear, and founded Gaytopia by writing an article about it on Uncyclopedia. He founded it in Cape Town, South Africa, because that's where he lives. And it doesn't hurt that Cape Town is where you can find Nelson Mandela's Bathroom.
Since coming out, Gaytopia has never been a static place, and it continues to develop to this day. Gaytopia is not just for gay men anymore. Lesbians are welcome, too. In Gaytopia, women can wear strap-on dildos on their chins in broad daylight without anyone batting an eyelash. Women married to women can adopt little boys and raise them to be gay (no, really!) Thanks to Gaytopia’s dynamic nature, it blazed onto the world tourism scene in 2015 by orienting itself as the first name in destinations of “Bi-Namic” leisure.
In Gaytopia, families can consist of four mothers or three fathers and it is not only totally normal, but anything else would be considered weird. Gaytopia is a place where everything has taken on a gay theme to the point of absurdity. People shop at Gay-Mart and drive gay cars. Electrical plugs work with other plugs, and electrical outlets work with other outlets. The animals have become gay as well. You can't walk down the street without seeing a bull having anal sex with another bull. It's bat-shit insane, but hey, its GAYTOPIA!
Gaytopia is gay-friendly, but that is it. It is NOT conservative-friendly. It might even be too outrageous for conservative gay people (if they exist). But hey, Gaytopia is for gays. They want it their way and they can have it their way in Gaytopia! No shirt, no shoes, SERVICE! Hello!
Everyday is gay pride day, and if that means bull dykes fisting other bull dykes, so be it. So people might be offended, but Gaytopia doesn't mean any harm by it. It was just born that way. So fuck off!
Hello There, Sailor!
Yes, all the men lisp in Gaytopia, and its not because they're from Spain! The YMCA is one giant brothel of homo-love, 24/7. C-3PO from Star Wars lives in Gaytopia and gives out golden showers to other male robots, and RD-D2 gives it up for free. From elephant trains to carpet-munching to gonzo Lord-of-the-Cock-Rings porn, Gaytopia has it all. Anything is possible in Gaytopia, so long as it's really, really gay.
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