UnTunes:I wish you could be Christian but you're gay

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

I Wish You Could Be Christian But You're Gay is a Christmas song recorded by British glam rock band Wizzard. It was first released in December 1973 and, as with most Wizzard songs, was written and produced by the band's frontman Roy Wood — a right-wing Catholic preacher and homophobic firebrand.

Despite the song's controversial, some would say repugnant, message, it reached number four on the UK Singles Chart in December 1973, and has enjoyed regular returns to the charts over the years, becoming a regular on British radio station every Christmas.

In Wood's own words, the song attempted to "address all those poofters and queens who think they can do the sign of the cross, offer you the sign of peace, and then go around shagging each other, and sucking each other off."

Lyrics[edit]

Are you ready "gentlemen"? (Yeah)

To the men who like to blow
Do you think that I don't know
You like a great big load across your pretty face?

When you jump into your bed
With a Dick or Bob or Fred
And take him on all fours
You know you're breaking God's own law
He'll make you pay

Oh well I wish you could be Christian - but you're gay
Leviticus says that a man and a man can't lay
Oh well I wish you could be Christian - but you're gay
Don’t get your bell ends out for Christmas

You take a stranger from the park
To the toilets nice and dark
I bet your rosy cheeks are gonna light his merry way

But when his hairy paws appear
And you take it up the rear
I hope you're thinking of hellfire
Cos you’re heading for the pyre
All the way

Oh well I wish you could be Christian - but you're gay
Leviticus says that a man and a man can't lay
Oh well I wish you could be Christian - but you're gay
Don’t get your bell ends out for Christmas

To the men who like to blow (to the men who like to blow)
I am sure it’s nice to know (sure it’s nice to know)
You get a great big load across your pretty face

But know that Satan makes you stray (Satan makes you stray)
That's why you keep on being gay
Don't you come to Midnight Mass
If you take it up the ass
You stay away

Oh well I wish you could be Christian - but you're gay
Leviticus says that a man and a man can't lay
Oh well I wish you could be Christian - but you're gay
Don’t get your bell ends out for Christmas
Why don't you give up cum for Christmas?