User:David Gerard

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Archbishop of Wildebury)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Foolitzer Prize Award Foolitzer Prize Winner January 2007

This site optimised for Safari on my Mac quad-Core IV with thirty-inch cinema display,
not your poxy virus-riddled PC. So don't even bother.
You Leengux-using communists in particular can just fuck off.

Too much Wikipedia explodes your head. But I got Writer Of The Month for January 2006, so my ego got large enough to pull Mars out of its orbit. I could try Unicyclopedia next or something.


CUN.svg
Commander of the Order
OUN.svg
Officer of the Order

Stuff what I wrote[edit | edit source]

Or started, or wrote a substantial chunk of. Front-page features are in bold; current nominees are in italics and you should vote for them IMMEDIATELY.

/Ideas are for anyone's use if I don't get there first. /Draft is what it says. /Rubbish is my subpage for life's little failures. /David Gerard is the un-article someone wrote on me. Goodness!

Articles[edit | edit source]

Don't you wish you were a bishop too?

UnNews[edit | edit source]

What about a nice cup of tea and a sit down?

I spent December 2006 in bed ill, so churned out UnNews like a man in fever delirium (which I was). This got me nominated for the Foolitzer, which meant I had to turn out an article a day for all of January 2007. NOW THE WHOLE WORLD IS LOOKING LIKE FAKE NEWS. BECAUSE IT IS.

I then spent about three years writing these things roughly one a day for my own fake news site, NewsTechnica — tell all your friends! I've stopped now because I keep just wanting to rerun old articles that are relevant again, because the "news cycle" is called that for a reason.

Pre-Dec 2006[edit | edit source]

Dec 2006[edit | edit source]

Jan 2007[edit | edit source]

Feb-Mar 2007[edit | edit source]

April-July 2007[edit | edit source]

August-December 2007[edit | edit source]

January-June 2008[edit | edit source]

July 2008 on[edit | edit source]

GIMP abuse[edit | edit source]

GIMP 0.0.1, running under xterm.

This is stuff I mangled together myself, not just things I appropriated as-is as fair use under US law for purposes of satirical or political commentary. Although most of the sources are covered under that.

Awards[edit | edit source]

Writer of the Month Award Writer of the Month January 2006
Newcookie.gif Somebody has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
Go do Special:Newpages patrol. I do believe there's more crap there than on Wikipedia newpages.
boarderboarderboarderboarderboarderboarderboarder
boarder[Outstanding Cracker of the Minute]boarder
boarderboarderboarderboarderboarderboarderboarder
Caternest.jpg
You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios.
Apparently you are "notable". Don't ask me why; I think you're lame.
Jsbach-bass.jpg
This user plays bass, because it attracts groupies without the need for excessive rehearsal time.
Jsbach-bass.jpg
Protein.GIF
I joined the Folding@home team, because I have nothing better to do with my computer.
Protein.GIF
United Kingdom
This user is a total UKer


and knows how to spell but sounds funny on the telly.


(British Uncyclopedians)
IAexplorer.png
AAAA AAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA.
(AAAA AA AAAAAA AAAAA AAAAA)
IAexplorer.png
NinjastarSe.cx.png
Ninjase.cx Ninjastar
I award you this Ninjase.cx Ninjastar for your total disregard
of good taste that is required to produce for your work.
You are my hero. –Dawg
Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=User:David_Gerard&oldid=5995437"