UnNews:Sat nav driver's car shot down by troops

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

13 May 2007

NO! NO! Your OTHER left!

WALES, Friday (Slow News Network) — A 20-year-old student's car was destroyed by cannon fire after she followed her sat nav system into a war zone.

Paula Cluely, a student at the University of Bums on Seats, was driving her shiny new pink Ford Ka from Redditch, Worcestershire, to see her boyfriend at his parents' home in Carmarthenshire for the first time. She was trying to proceed when she heard gunfire and screaming, realised she was in a combat zone and the car was demolished, although Ms Cluely escaped injury in the incident, as only her head was affected.

"I put my complete trust in the sat nav and it led me through a school, over a duck pond, onto a military base and through an experimental nuclear reactor," she said. "The kids I ran down in the school weren't shown on the sat nav, there were no signs at all and it wasn't lit up to warn of oncoming gunfire.

"I came to this crossing at Ffynongain and there was like a metal gate, which looked like just a normal farmers' gate with a red circle on it. I thought it was a dead end at first and then there was a little sign saying, ABANDON HOPE ALL WHO DRIVE THROUGH HERE, ORDERS M.O.D. So I opened the gate, drove forward, closed the gate behind me and then went to go and open the gate in front of me."

Ms Cluely said she had been "really lucky".

"Obviously I had never done the journey before so I was using the sat nav - completely dependent on it. My dad says we should sue the manufacturer."

Sources

• Mordillo "In the next roundabout, HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!" Revenge of the Sat Nav, 11 May, 2007