User:David Gerard/Camera phone

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A camera phone is a cell phone that someone has attached a camera to. This raises the important question: If you're going to randomly join objects together, why not attach a CD player? Or a radio? Or a microwave oven? Or a coffee cup? Or a banana, if you wanted a great tasting and useful device?

Nothing says "I love you you're my best mate" like sending someone a 320×240 picture of your tits taken with a pinhole camera in bar light.

The main use of a camera phone is to be taken down to the pub with you on a night out so that when you get drunker than a Newt Gingrich, you can send a photo of your breasts to precisely the least appropriate person at the exact moment it occurs to you, and have no recollection of it at all until three days later when you get a copy of the photo, forwarded at least ten times and entitled "Phwoaar!", in your work e-mail inbox.

The camera phone represents a vast seismic shift in the use of phones and cameras. Before the camera phone, people were forced to use specialised photograph-taking devices, called cameras, to take pictures. Similarly, if one wanted to telephone somebody, they would have to use a separate device, such as a telephone, or indeed a suitably loud voice. With these two facilities combined, mankind can evolve to a higher plane of reality. Loud voices are occasionally still necessary though - especially when travelling on a train.

Like many really stupid ideas, the camera phone is vastly popular. Given the success of the phone with a camera in, technologists are hard at work on their next product, a camera with a phone in. Success is confidently expected.

Other Examples of Pointless Two-In One Technology[edit]

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