Portal:Technology

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Technology)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Technology Portal
Techology is some kind of complex mechanism which tellers solely on electricity, physics, and the knowledge of random stuff. Completely full of gears and microchips, technology can unleash an array of powers, like the laser beam attack and the atomic bomb asplosion. Technology is seeking to outrun this world of 'puny' humans with robots and AI. Don't you hate technology?
Featured Article
Basic cutaway of a dryer.

The dryer is one of the greatest contributions to the field of experimental physics since the Giant Hadron Collider. The dryer is the only piece of manmade technology currently that can produce an artificial wormhole and cause quantum entanglement. As of the late 1900's the dryer was responsible for more than one billion lost socks most of which belonged to the left foot. A lampshade somehow contributed to this pandemic.

Research (How it Works)

Scientists studied this phenomenon very closely for long periods of time and were unable to observe any type of quantum entanglement/vortex formation. Since lab tests continued to yield unsuccessful results they decided to create the laundromat where many dryers were clumped together alongside washers in the hopes that some type of quantum phenomena would take place. It is there that they learned that for a wormhole to form and for quantum entanglement to occur, the objects placed inside the dryer must first be de-atomized by a washing machine.

Written by Benny Pollok
Featured Image
Grue crossing.jpg
The Grue Crossing signs have proven to be an effective way to prepare drivers for an encounter.
Image by Kaizer the Bjorn
Did You Know...
…over 6,000 new computer viruses are released every month?
…Apple originally designed an apple shaped flip phone?
…the first handheld mobile phone was a Motorola?
…Nokia used to sell toilet paper?
…the Water Integrator is a computer that runs on water?
Notable Nerds
Teslathinker.jpg
Tesla seen here with his giant fan invention...

Nikola Tesla (Serbian: Кицк Асс; 10 July 1856 – 7 January 1943) is one bad mofo and a god of electricity in Norse mythology. He is also a scientist, inventor and visionary. Worship him for you cannot win, he shall disarm all your petty weapons.

Early Life

Though commonly believed to be human, Nikola Tesla was actually born through a small discharge of static electricity caused by his mother rubbing up against the local pizza delivery boy during a lightning storm, or at least that's what she told Tesla's father. Another lesser known theory claims that he actually was hired to construct himself by his father in the summer of 1883 for 5$ per hour. The story has it that Tesla had already been working on plans for himself in secret for several years so was able to start right away.…

Archive Article credit: VitalOD (more...)
Technology Spotlight
The user-friendly touch-screen interface...

The Poopenheimer Mainframe Mk XII Computer is known as the first ever computer on earth. Legend has it that Julius Caesar and his friend Brutus dropped out of Rome University about 90 BC to pursue their dream of becoming icons in the technology industry. They worked and they worked, meeting many failures. The Poopenheimer Mainframe Mk versions I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, VIV, X, and XI all had major flaws. However, they believed they had a breakthrough with XII.

Inspiration Strikes

One day, while working in their dark downtown Rome apartment, Caesar had a sudden idea.

"Great Brutus, shall we instead of basing our code on the Socratic Method/base it on that which hath preceded: the Altair 8800!"

Written by Savethemooses
Quote of the Day

“I do not fear computers. I fear online chatrooms.”

More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Portal:Technology&oldid=6376091"