Portal:Technology

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Information technology is a relatively new concept created by Walkers Crisps. It was developed during the early stages of a campaign to raise the sales of the failing crisp company. At the time, a back office clerk named Derek came up with the idea of "it", however soon after Derek had created the idea, it was outsourced to India, and Derek lost his job. (Full article...)
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LeetEnough.png

Look at yourself for a moment. You're in that chatroom. Internet Explorer is running in the background. In today's modern world, you need to be l337. Really l337. Close that browser window. You're better than this. Take out that trusty handbook. With Uncyclopedia's Official Guide to Choosing a Web Browser, you will become l337 in just 13 minutes 37 seconds, guaranteed!

Firefox - l33t p0in75: 1337

Pros:

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Grue Crossing

The Grue Crossing signs have proven to be an effective way to prepare drivers for an encounter.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Kaizer the Bjorn Image archive
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Did You Know...

 the first handheld mobile phone was a Motorola?
 the QWERTY keyboard was designed to slow down your typing speed?
 Apple originally designed an apple shaped flip phone?
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Quote of the Day

“Simplicity is often overrated when it comes to technology.”

~ Brian Reed on comic book illustrations
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Highlighted Biography

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Tesla seen here with his giant fan invention...

Nikola Tesla (Serbian: Кицк Асс; 10 July 1856 – 7 January 1943) is one bad mofo and a god of electricity in Norse mythology. He is also a scientist, inventor and visionary. Worship him for you cannot win, he shall disarm all your petty weapons.

Early Life

Though commonly believed to be human, Nikola Tesla was actually born through a small discharge of static electricity caused by his mother rubbing up against the local pizza delivery boy during a lightning storm, or at least that's what she told Tesla's father. Another lesser known theory claims that he actually was hired to construct himself by his father in the summer of 1883 for 5$ per hour. The story has it that Tesla had already been working on plans for himself in secret for several years so was able to start right away.…

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Technology Spotlight

Cookieclicker.png
Artist's depiction of a cookie clicker.

A cookie clicker is a tool designed specifically in order to "click" cookies, punching holes into them. Cookie clickers, since their initial invention in the 1970s, have been used for a variety of purposes in the kitchen, including clicking cookies (their original purpose), making cucumber and steak skewers, and making ring-shaped dessert toppings.

A typical cookie clicker has a long lever which is used to push a bladed cylinder, the clicker, straight through cookies up to 1/2 an inch in thickness, and then through a close-fitting hole in the die. As the vertical travel distance of the cylinder is less than an inch, it can be positioned within about 1.2 inches of the lever fulcrum. For smaller cookie clickers, meant to slice through thinner, Subway-style cookies, the resulting lever need not be more than 3 inches for sufficient force.

The clicker's diameter generally varies between each clicker; a hole size of 1/4 inch allows for a a donut-shaped 3/4-to-1 inch cookie, whilst a 1/2 inch hole is generally favored for medium-sized cookies. Occasionally, a 1-inch hole is used for larger cookies and other foodstuffs (such as steak).…

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