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Today's featured article

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Sexual innuendo is a hard topic to stay on top of. As a humor tool, it stands erect in the English language. While there are no hard and fast rules as to what constitutes sexual innuendo, many people have mass-debated over the ins-and-outs of the topic, and now the general principles at the root of the topic are firm and well-rounded. However, full penetration of the subject requires that the reader take a long, hard look at the target and be a cunning linguist in order to avoid limp phrases and imbibe the phrase with a large handful of meanings. The topic can become hot by attempting to grasp it, and the more one experiments with it, the more interested they become. Also, as the language changes innuendos must change in order to fill the newly created holes and satisfy listeners.

A common problem with sexual innuendo is the recipient being unable to wrap their hands around the intended meaning. In this case, an individual using sexual innuendo will often start slow and eventually build up, increasing depth more and more until the recipient feels the actual thrust of the point and the innuendo climaxes. An innuendo is always the most pleasing when no one sees it coming, often by entering the mind through the rear. Some skilled people are even able to use several sexual innuendos quickly in succession, resulting in multiple innuendo-esque climaxes. (Full article...)

Did you know?

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  • ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
  • ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
  • ... that torture is better to give than to receive?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
  • ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
  • ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?

In the news

Homeland renewed for 9th season
No, not that one.

On this day

July 11: International Pull My Finger Day; Fake Fart Appreciation Day (Rural Alabama, Georgia)
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  • 1307 – Walter Tell, offspring of the famed archery enthusiast William Tell, pioneered the art of Interpretive Death by creatively expiring after suffering a major crossbow incident.
  • 1796 – The United States takes possession of Detroit from Great Britain under the terms of the Jay Treaty. Great Britain immediately regrets this transaction when the Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup in 1798.
  • 1804 – Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton is mortally wounded in a duel with United States Vice President Aaron Burr in the last major political duel before the Political Dueling Edict of 1822 was imposed by the new generation of sissy-boy lawmakers.
  • 1859A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens is published. Oscar Wilde immediately parodies many of Dickens' concepts in his novel the Picture of Dorain Gray.
  • 1864 – The American Civil War does not live up to its name as a Civil War, as pleasantries are barely exchanged before the Battle of Fort Stevens.
  • 1925 – Famous monster Oscar the Grouch (pictured) is born in the slums of Sesame Street. He does not earn the added moniker of "Grouch" until he resorts to selling candy to children after bedtime following a long string of hardships.

Picture of the day

St. Stephen the Martyr
St. Stephen the ProtoMartyr, the first adherant of the Christian faith to be martyred.

According to the New Testament Acts of the Apostles, Stephen attached sixteen sticks of dynamite to his chest, detonating them in a crowded market in Jerusalem, killing 32 Zionists and 2 Great Satans, and wounding dozens more. Stephen is venerated as a Saint by the Catholic Church, and in many countries St. Stephen's Day is a publicly recognized holiday.

St. Stephen is depicted here in a 12th century Orthodox icon. The grenade in his hand is probably anachronistic.

Image credit: Isra1337
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