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There is such an enormous amount of money involved in professional sports nowadays that the temptation for athletes to cheat in order to hoard the Benjamins has never been greater. What's a little heart attack at 45 years of age when the possibility to make a fortune is within reach? Nothing problematic there. Liver failure? It doesn't matter if that dynamite can squeeze 20 extra home runs out of you; living a short life in the fast lane is better than a long one at a snail pace, isn't it? Murdering your whole family thanks to a rage induced by a 10 year steroids binge? Collateral damage. Stuff happens.

Sadly, the above accurately depicts the mindset that athletes who use performance-enhancing drugs are developing as they face the pressure to perform at all costs. For this reason, they resort to doping like there is no tomorrow, frantically feasting on pills, sticking needles in their behinds and snorting powdered gorilla livers in order to crush the competition. (Full article...)

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Did you know?

... cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (Pictured)

... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
...that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?

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In the news

Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing the NBA Finals
Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
Taylor Swift buys back her masters
"Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's social media feud • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley Cup • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team

Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • Carolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly ~~Stallone~~ Stone • Brian Wilson

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success and ego • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Los Angeles, again

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On this day

June 15: Pig Latin Day

1488 - Iyay allowway inyay ymay espairday, ikelay ymay indkay allowway inyay udmay, orfay Iyay owknay ethay eathday awaitingyay emay illway otnay ebay eacefulpay.
1492 - Iyay illway ebay eweredskay andyay icedslay andyay eatenyay ithway arumgay andyay edray ineway.
1504 - ereWhay isyay ymay othermay? ereWhay isyay ymay atherfay? eyThay avehay eenbay eatenyay ybay ethay Imperatoryay, eythay ereway oastedray onyay ayay itspay, eirthay inskay edray andyay ispcray ikelay ethay applesyay eythay ivegay emay.
1511 - Iyay owgray atfay, ymay outsnay akedcay ithway udmay, Iyay eesay ethay eyesyay ofyay ethay atherfay'say ildrenchay, eythay ungerhay, orfay atwhay Iyay amyay.
1526 - Iyay amyay otnay ayay oulsay, Iyay amyay aconbay.
1544 - eThay ifeknay isyay atyay ymay oatthray. Iyay eesay edray, Iyay eesay ymay isionvay imday, ymay eetfay aggeddray otay ethay aughterhouseslay. ilenceSay unendingyay. Iyay ieday owingknay Iyay avehay onay oulsay.

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