User:TheLick/Main Page

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Today's featured article

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My dog, Buddy, is the worst. He's just terrible. Don't vote for my dog! Don't vote for this article. It shouldn't be featured on any encyclopedia. It doesn't align with our website's values. I'll explain everything...

Reasons not to vote for Buddy:

  1. He's gay.
  2. He's a yeast infected cunt.
  3. He hates America.

I don't make these kinds of remarks lightly. I have both edited enhanced photos and logic to back up my statements. I'm not saying any of the above things are bad. They aren't in an of themselves. It's just he is the most extreme radical version of all of these things and this article, under no circumstances should be featured because of it. (Full article...)

Did you know?

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  • ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)
  • ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?
  • ... that there is one imposter among us?
  • ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
  • ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
  • ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
  • ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
  • ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?

In the news

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"Cancel Netflix? If I only could!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh SteelersGiants fans hiding in a corner

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick MangoldJamaicaDonna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy Cliff

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7"

On this day

AAAAAA!!!!!!

AAAAAAAA A: AAAAAAAAA! AAA

Picture of the day

UnUsual Suspects
"The greatest trick Christopher Robin ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

Image credit: Mhaille
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