User:TheLick/Main Page

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Today's featured article

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Good evening crew of the RMS Titanic. My name is Scuttlebutt, Sidney Scuttlebutt. I am the head of the exterior furniture section on this ship. My job is to provide deckchairs for the comfort of all First Class and Second Class passengers. Third Class passengers are not entitled to deckchairs so you will not need to show them how they work.

This may be the Titanic's maiden voyage but I am already a professional at the art of deckchair maintenance as I have worked on the Titanic's sister ship RMS Olympic. I believe a carefully prepared deckchair with the option of a blanket and cushion is essential if travellers want to take in the cold April air of 1912. So I will now demonstrate what we do.

What was that? You want to know more about the lifeboats? We can talk about that tomorrow. Those boats are to rescue people at sea, not the people here as this ship is unsinkable, made of steel that is light enough to float. There is no need to be worried. For those who really want to learn more about lifeboats, I understand Captain Smith will be holding a class tomorrow. (Full article...)

Did you know?

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  • ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
  • ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
  • ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
  • ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
  • ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
  • ... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
  • ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?

In the news

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On this day

They're magically delicious!

March 17: Lucky Charms Appreciation Day

  • 461 AD - The patron saint of Ireland, Saint Patrick, uses the three-leaved shamrock to explain the concept of the trinity: he is later stoned to death for Modalism.
  • 1848 - In the middle of the Great Irish Potato Famine, England tells Ireland to eat their young.
  • 1939 - The Americans mock the Irish by dyeing large bodies of water green, as a metaphor for what the Irish do to the gene pool.
  • 1955 - Irish-Americans appropriate this day as a celebration of Irish culture, still keep the public drinking and lake pollution.
  • 2006 - The start of a new St. Paddy's tradition: trying to pause that scene in The Departed where Jack Nicholson shows off his erect penis.
  • 2010 - St. Patrick's Day loses all connection to Ireland, becomes holiday dedicated solely to turning water green: man-made algae blooms kill 99% of all ocean life.

Picture of the day

XXXTigerGame.jpg
 With Tiger Woods' newest game out, all the girls can get a look at his nice big rod.

Image credit: MeepStarLives
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