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Today's featured article
Among Us is an obscure video game made by an unknown game studio in 2018 for mobile, PC, toasters, and Atari cartridges for poor people less fortunate than us. The game basically consists of you and between three or nine other idiots in space suits trying to discover who the Impostor is. This would be easy, except for the fact that everyone who plays the game is an idiot. Due to the fact that the game takes place in space, Neil Armstrong was included as a secret character. (Full article...)
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Did you know?
- ... that the WWF is the only "sports entertainment" organization endorsed by PETA and Greenpeace? (Pictured)
- ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and YOUR ENERGY DRINK!?!?!?
- ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
- ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
- ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
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- UnNews editorial about the January 6th attack (Pictured)
- 2020 refuses to concede, vows to continue one more year
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- Jesus is given a one-year ban
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- Girl bleeding everywhere gets white water all over her slide
- The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World got updated by COVID-19
- Thanksgiving is cancelled (again)
- Trump urges Van Helsing: STOP THE COUNT!
- Joe Biden wins, CNN calls it "fake news"
- Dewey defeats Kanye
- Dollar Tree shit smear mystery solved
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- Facemasks are a conspiracy by Silver Shamrock
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- Trump's vocabulary reaches 50 words
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- UnNews remembers Ennio Morricone
- Supreme Court to David Byrne: "This is not your beautiful wife"
- The Big Bang Theory pulled for being pizza-face
- Your favorite show is renewed for 9th season
- The Police shorten band name to "The" over controversy
- TV's Cops cancelled 25 years too late
- Pink Floyd killed by coronavirus
- Kalifornische Beamte erklären das Ego von Elon Musk für wesentlich
- Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization
- Your cat's gonna kill you
- Christof from The Truman Show dies aged 74
On this day
January 17: Kick Pigeons in the Face Day
- 395 - The Eastern Roman Empire and the Western Roman Empire split after "insurmountable creative differences."
- 1918 - The Finnish Civil War begins after the Finns decide that they might as well get their Civil War done right away.
- 1945 - The Soviets liberate Warsaw from Nazi Germany, decide to adopt Poland as their own. Aww.
- 1946 - The UN Security Council wonders what the UK is doing there. It's just an island.
- 1961 - Dwight D. Eisenhower makes final speech warning America about the monster that lives in your closet.
- 1987 - The New York City Transit Authority sponsors a pigeon kicking holiday (Pictured) in response to the bird poop derailing all their trains.
- 2004 - The Doomsday Clock is set four minutes to midnight after scientists realize the time on their microwave is two minutes off.
Picture of the day
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Even as a child, Leonardo da Vinci showed a gift for art and anatomy. Image credit: Rei |
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