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Today's featured article

Car crash with mr.stupid dumbass.gif

Fuck Around and Find Out, often abbreviated to FAFO, is a philosophy often used by parents, teachers and scholars worldwide to explain why a person may suddenly find out they have a boot solidly lodged 14 inches into their rectum. It is mainly used on children whose sense of entitlement and petulance has reached a breaking point and their parents feel that talking won't work and grounding will make fuck all of a difference. The kid fucked around, the kid then found out. They didn't quite realize they were finding out right away because before awareness of said boot up their ass sent in, their head was being whacked so hard by rolled up newspaper their brain shifted and the boot in anus processed 0.5 seconds later. Eventually they all find out, even if it is delayed by a minor concussion. (Full article...)

Did you know?

654-easter-bunny-2007-1-.jpg
  • ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured)
  • ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
  • ... that my mom's name is also Martha?
  • ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
  • ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
  • ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?

In the news

DickVanDykeJackyl.jpg
Take that, Betty White!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh SteelersGiants fans hiding in a corner • Non-Bears invading Tennessee

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Donna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy CliffWarner Bros.Sheen EstevezChet UbetchaDoug DimmadomeZed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCardDick van Dyke, eventually

On this day

Yeah, that guy. Not *that* guy, but that *guy*? Either, or.

December 13: International "That Guy" Day, Day of British Villainy (U.K.)

  • 1067 - William the Conqueror invades the previously uninvaded British Aisles, yet still cannot locate a can of Heinz Beans.
  • 1732 - The Royal Opera House opens at Covent Garden, London. Screaming bitches heard from miles around, causes widespread riots.
  • 1808 - Count Henrich von Flammenweffer invents Lava as a way of preventing skiers from taking over his favourite mountains in the winter.
  • 1940 - The French blow Adolf Hitler.
  • 1942 - No people born on December the 13th, experts attribute this phenomenon to people "not feeling like getting any ass" in mid-March.
  • 1992 - Bob like pie.
  • 1992 - Someone actually ate my shorts!
  • 2003 - Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein found hiding in a camel hole during Operation Bomb-The-Towel-Headed-Sand-Brigand, and captured.

Picture of the day

Dog Hazard
By popular demand, the National Pet Association has released a new guide for the best household chemicals to use for exploding your dog. Caveat Canem, indeed.

Image credit: MoneySign
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