User:TheLick/Main Page
Today's featured article
In MS Paint With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, originally known simply as With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, is a popular postmodern interpretation, often applied to classical works. The scope of this style is not entirely limited to artwork, as well-known editions of Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel Crime and Punishment and Radiohead's sophomore album The Bends have been made in recent years.
The style was born nameless some time during the middle ages, when a German sect of Gregorian monks in self-imposed isolation would practice the arts while pleasuring themselves to pass the time. The tapestries and manuscripts they created during these time were of unique design bearing almost no resemblance to those created by more conservative sects that frowned upon frequent masturbation. Lacking the intricacies and detailed engravings of their contemporaries, the work of the Seed-Wasters instead focused on the passion and entropy that lay beneath the surface of the artwork. This was, however, considered to be faint praise for a style that exhibited little to no effort and, occasionally, gratuitous semen stains. (Full article...)
Did you know?
- ... that in China, there is no MySpace, but a communist alternative? (Pictured)
- ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
- ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
In the news
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April (Pictured)
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
- Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy
- Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win
Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day • Some big shot musical award • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota
Recent deaths: The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons • Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government
On this day
February 3: Fuck a Groundhog Day
- 1834 - Wheeling Jesuit University is founded, alumni annoys everyone they meet by complaining about Wheeling Jesuit University.
- 1870 - The Fifteenth Amendment is ratified, guaranteeing voting rights for all people in about ninety or so years.
- 1933 - Adolf Hitler steals Austria, other Europeans demand he gives it back, but he covers his ears and goes "nananana."
- 1966 - The Soviet Union hides people inside tiny compartments to operate probes which land on moon.
- 1993 - Bill Murray finally escapes from a 10,000 year long time loop, will have to live with the knowledge he has fucked a groundhog at least twelve times.
- 1995 - First woman to pilot a Space Shuttle accidentally lands it on Europa, a moon on Jupiter.
Picture of the day
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Transformer is Optimus Prime's breakthrough second solo album, released in December 1972. Unlike its predecessor Optimus Prime, eight songs of which were leftovers from his Autobot days, this album contains mainly new material, and spawned the hit song "Walk on the I'm A Huge Fucking Robot Side". Image credit: Zombiebaron |
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