User:TheLick/Main Page

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Today's featured article

Antonio Brown.jpg

Antonio Travis Scott Brown, Sr. , also known as AB or Mr. Man Tits, is the greatest receiver of all time and rapper, and dancer, and masked singer. Don't like it, I suuuue you. The franchise face of the Pittsburgh Steelers starting in 2010, he saved it by his hard work and is the greatest receiver of all time. You hear me? Of ALL TIME! He is from the Pit, not the palace, and made the Pit what it became known for. Big Ben is a meany poopyhead and so is Coach Tomlin.

He's the most humble man on the ...

Alright, cut. Antonio! You know we're not supposed to write a biased article for you, right? And are you sure you want me to write in that amateur tone?

"I gotta whooole lotta money! Who you think you are? You don't make me look good on Weeniepedia Imma sue yo ass!" (Full article...)

Did you know?

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  • ... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet?
  • ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
  • ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
  • ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?

In the news

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only in ohio


Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel–Hamas conflict • ICE actually doing their job and rounding up illegal immigrants

Recent deaths: Greg Gumbel • Jimmy Carter • Liberal Party of Canada • Aaron Rodgers' career • Jean-Marie Le Pen • Peter Yarrow • Anita Bryant • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright

Upcoming deaths: TikTok, for real this time • The Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl win hopes • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Israel–Hamas conflict • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse

On this day

The smell of stale cigarettes on my stubble, the imprints of past lovers wrinkling my floorbed. I take a swig of something brown, and I forget...

January 30: The Next Great American Novel Day

  • 1892 - Richard Lawrence, failed Andrew Jackson assassin, writes novel marketed as tell-all; it instead details his unrequited decades long crush on a Czech farmgirl in Nebraska.
  • 1925 - Erudite socialite and on-and-off poet M. Masters Droob writes, These Days Will Last Forever, a loosely biographical coming of age tome about an erudite socialite and on-and-off poet.
  • 1965 - Virginian author Jeronio P. McDullum writes his magnum opus, That Remains to be Seen: A Novel of Domestic Discontent, about a loveless marriage between an assistant professor and pugnacious spouse, who wouldn't know a novel from a novella.
  • 1971 - Grizzled, white man's man author Smoker Ennis publishes a road trip anthology, I Fucked The Road; in the cover, he poses with the semi-automatic machine gun he will later use to take his own life.
  • 1973 - Brundon Grishmald writes a 1,249 page novel about every single one of his sexual fetishes in excruciating detail, most people give up by page eighty-four.
  • 2015 - Mariska Told writes a semi-autobiographical Roman à clef about the character defining experiences which paint the life of every American woman, like working at your dad's publishing firm or drunk texting your ex who moved to Long Island three years ago.
  • 2017 - Bright young writer and future MacArthur fellow João Staines writes great work of literary import, you can tell from the tasteful misogyny and the nonsense similies.

Picture of the day

American Imperialism
 Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism.

Image credit: Thetoastman
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