User:TheLick/Main Page

The content-free encyclopedia anyone can edit
40,187 articles in English

Today's featured article

There is such an enormous amount of money involved in professional sports nowadays that the temptation for athletes to cheat in order to hoard the Benjamins has never been greater. What's a little heart attack at 45 years of age when the possibility to make a fortune is within reach? Nothing problematic there. Liver failure? It doesn't matter if that dynamite can squeeze 20 extra home runs out of you; living a short life in the fast lane is better than a long one at a snail pace, isn't it? Murdering your whole family thanks to a rage induced by a 10 year steroids binge? Collateral damage. Stuff happens.

Sadly, the above accurately depicts the mindset that athletes who use performance-enhancing drugs are developing as they face the pressure to perform at all costs. For this reason, they resort to doping like there is no tomorrow, frantically feasting on pills, sticking needles in their behinds and snorting powdered gorilla livers in order to crush the competition. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

Did you know?

... the secret to good advertising is to lie? (Pictured)

... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers?
... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?

Archive · Suggest new entries

In the news

Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing the NBA Finals
Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
Taylor Swift buys back her masters
"Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's social media feud • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley Cup • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team

Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • Carolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly ~~Stallone~~ Stone • Brian Wilson

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success and ego • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Los Angeles, again

UnNews Main · Archive

On this day

June 15: Pig Latin Day

1488 - Iyay allowway inyay ymay espairday, ikelay ymay indkay allowway inyay udmay, orfay Iyay owknay ethay eathday awaitingyay emay illway otnay ebay eacefulpay.
1492 - Iyay illway ebay eweredskay andyay icedslay andyay eatenyay ithway arumgay andyay edray ineway.
1504 - ereWhay isyay ymay othermay? ereWhay isyay ymay atherfay? eyThay avehay eenbay eatenyay ybay ethay Imperatoryay, eythay ereway oastedray onyay ayay itspay, eirthay inskay edray andyay ispcray ikelay ethay applesyay eythay ivegay emay.
1511 - Iyay owgray atfay, ymay outsnay akedcay ithway udmay, Iyay eesay ethay eyesyay ofyay ethay atherfay'say ildrenchay, eythay ungerhay, orfay atwhay Iyay amyay.
1526 - Iyay amyay otnay ayay oulsay, Iyay amyay aconbay.
1544 - eThay ifeknay isyay atyay ymay oatthray. Iyay eesay edray, Iyay eesay ymay isionvay imday, ymay eetfay aggeddray otay ethay aughterhouseslay. ilenceSay unendingyay. Iyay ieday owingknay Iyay avehay onay oulsay.

Archive · View today · View tomorrow

Picture of the day

A screenshot from Age of Umpires II: Age of Cricket. In this example, we see the classic "Shotgun-Seven" formation being used to maximum effect. Any good Umpire would note that this places a good deal of emphasis on the left side, making it easy enough to sneak in the stray foul wicket.

Image credit: Hindleyite
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
Formatting – for help on editing
Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
Community portal – for general community shenanigans

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary
Best left unsaid
UnTunes
Noisy things
UnGames
Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable
Useless misquotes
Uncycloversity
No student loans
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant
UnScripts
We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
UnReviews
Hack frauds
UnVoyage
Armchair travel
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation

Foreign languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,187 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.