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Our Lord and Saviour, Horatio "Cyclops" Nelson, 1st Viscount Nelson, KB (29 September 1758 - 21 October 1805), was Britain's greatest naval hero who beat the French, Spanish and Danish fleets and still had enough energy to grapple with Emma Hamilton on his days off. He was the only man who Emperor Napoleon said was a bigger bastard than him (by about two inches) and died discussing stubborn shirt stains at the Battle of Trafalgar.

Horatio Nelson was born with a full complement of arms, legs and eyes in Norfolk, England in 1758 to the Reverend Edmund Nelson and wife Catherine. His father taking the Christian maxim about going forth and multiplying kept his wife in almost constant labour as he wanted to breed a "Cricket eleven". Horatio came in to bat as number six which usually means he was a bit of an "all rounder". In British naval terms this also suggested sexual ambiguity but Nelson was definitely keener on frocks and kept a chest of contemporary fashions in his cabin when he became an officer. (Full article...)

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On this day

March 2: International Genderflip Cartoon Characters Day

1797 - The Bank of England issues the country's first currency to feature a smug, grinning monarch.
1867 - First Reconstruction laws: replaces slavery with "technically-not-slavery", which is not slavery. Technically.
1917 - The people of Puerto Rico are granted U.S. citizenship, to make the colonial exploitation that much more painful.
1946 - President Ho Chi Minh is declared "most likely to ferment Communist insurrection" in high school yearbook.
1961 - John F. Kennedy starts the Peace Corps, a secret CIA project to dump potentially troubling bleeding-heart hippies abroad.
1995 - Yahoo! is created, Nintendo immediately sues the site for stealing Mario's orgasm sound.
2017 - Scientists discover a side-effect of watching Guy Fieri (Pictured) marathons on the Food Network: severe internal bleeding.

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