User:Mitch 1 2/vandalism

TURTLE

Spang (2008)

Directed by
Uwe Boll

Writing credits
1000 Uncyclopedians banging randomly at a keyboard
Edward Bulwer-Lytton

(more)

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Next US TV Airings:
Thus. Dec. 26	15:30 PM	HBO
Wed. Jan. 3	20:00 PM	HBO
Sat. Jan. 20	18:00 PM	HBO

Photo Gallery (9604 photos)

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Showtimes & Tickets for Tulsa,CC (change location)

The Hourglass Figure Theatre: Degenerate Adult Cinema (add to my theaters)
Showtimes:12:40pm | 3:45 | 6:50 | 10:05 (more)

Genre: Adult / Massive failure / Special Education / Family (more)

Tagline: He will FU up!

Plot Outline: Slacker Spang is stuck in a bog of bad music, Cheetos and masturbation. Can he find his way to a more fulfilling life, or will he lose the girl, destroy the world and generally suck more than any organism has ever sucked before, including fecal bacteria? (more) (view trailer)

User Comments: This is not the truth of the life of Spang (more)

User Rating: 0.7/10 (6 votes) bottom 100: #1

Cast overview, first billed only:
	Spang	....	Spang
	Spang's mum	....	Marianne Perkybübs
	Hideously photoshopped purple eyesore	....	Water-powered bus
	Spang's sister	....	"Luscious" Lei Mee
	Woody Harrelson	....	CIA Agent Timothy Green

(more)

Also Known As:
Err-aculate Conception (Japan)
MPAA: Rated NC-17 for graphic nudity, deviant sexuality and incest, all involving Spang
Runtime: USA:78 min, Scotland:217 min, North Korea:2 min (Decency Cut)
Country: Scotland
Language: Scottish, Nerd
Color: Some
Sound Mix: Absurdly accented
Certification: USA:NC-17 / UK:7 (required viewing) / Switzerland:MA / Canada:18A / Philippines:BANNED
/ Spang's mum:15
Quotes:
[first lines]
Spang: Choose life, choose a job, choose a career, choose a family, choose a fucking big television -
"Luscious" Lei Mee: Quoting Trainspotting will get you nowhere, big boy.
Marianne Perkybübs: That's what you think, hussy. Come to mama, you great hunk of Spang!
Spang: I always did like older women!
All: [laugh]
(more)

Awards: Nominated for 17 Golden Goatses: Worst Actor, Director, Screenplay, Supporting Actress, Best Sex Scene Involving Haggis, (more)

User Comments:

1 / 369 people found the following comment useful:
This is not the truth of the life of Spang, 06 July 2008

Author: Sp4ng from the Scottish Highlands

This film depicts Spang in an inglorious light, despite the promises of the director that it would be a celebration of the achievements and numerous steamy shower encounters of my life. I mean Spang's life. Instead we get the incest, corruption and water-powered bus sex that were really only MINOR events in Spang's career. Depicting his mother as a 450-pound refrigerator repairwomen by day and plus-sized whore by night, while technically accurate, is a violation of the agreement Spang signed before principal shooting began.

Moreover, Spang's sister is portrayed as an attractive Chinese woman. In reality she is neither Chinese, attractive, nor a woman.

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Trivia for Spang (2008)

Spang lost three fingers and a handful of nose hair while filming the kama sutra scene. They are still missing.
Spang's mum has five breasts and eighteen nipples. The extras were removed via CGI.
The film was shipped to theaters in containers labeled "NEVER PLAY THIS FILM" to deter pirating. Except for three theaters, all run by illiterate managers in rural Alabama, all moviehouses took the labels at face value.
A double replaced Spang in the infamous "full frontal" sequence because of a problem Spang would rather not talk about.
The film became the first and so far only to gross exactly its production costs, approximately $32.
The syphilis-filled-pit scene was filmed on-location at Spang's house. All other scenes were performed on greenscreen.

Goofs for Spang (2008)

Factual errors: Lei Mee remarks several times on the immense size of Spang's member. Actually, Spang does not even have a penis.
Continuity: After the scene depicting Spang's birth, the film does a quick montage of the next twenty years which implies that Spang's life was happy and normal. In reality, it was filled with despair, toenail clippings and the literal absence of any kind of father figure for Spang, who was conceived via a sperm bank in Kansas City.
Incorrectly regarded as goofs: Spang does in fact break out in hives when in the presence of good music.
Audio/video unsynchronized: Due to his thick Scottish accent, none of Spang's dialogue can be heard in the film. It was replaced with Sylvester Stallone's audio track from Rocky IV.
Incorrectly regarded as goofs During the kitchen scene, Spang's mum seems to gain about twenty pounds over the course of eight minutes. This is due to a metabolism glitch and an overwhelming desire for mayonnaise-drenched french fries, not a continuity error.

Message Boards

Discuss this movie with other users on IMDb message board for Spang (2008)

Recent Posts (updated daily)	User
Why does spang's mum have more testicles than spang himself	arborman27
L@@K VI4GR4 MAKE YOUR SPANG +2in	strtfghtr
Masterpiece, sheer brilliance	Spung
FU	rcmarphy
Oh man you don't even wanna KNOW how many times I jerked off to this	TeflonElbow

To Cheer You Up[edit source]

I Was Just Thinking Of You

Roses are red, Violets are blue,
I need it now, You know what to do.
~Premier Tom Mayfair

+S[edit source]

Braydie thanks you for supporting him to become admin.
I would have done this sooner, but admins are supposed to be lazy.
There is no personalised message either.

—Braydie at 00:00, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

LORD FLUFFY[edit source]

That was an astounding performance, sir. Here you are. Pie and your prize.

LORD FLUFFY, WHO RAINS FIRE FROM THE HEAVENS,
HATH GIVEN THEE THE GIFT OF PIE.

LORD FLUFFY WHO RAINS FIRE FROM THE HEAVENS HATH GIVEN THIS USER THE GOLDEN FILM AWARD; THIS USER KNOWS ENTIRELY TOO MANY MOVIE QUOTES, AND IS IN NEED OF A LIFE.

--Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 17:48, 24 February 2007 (UTC)

Peeing on electric fences is bad. Especially on the barbed-wire ones the military uses..... Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 23:33, 22 March 2007 (UTC)

You too?! \o / 00:52, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

Wa-hey! Free Food![edit source]

Shalom!
Yum! You've received a basket of delicious fresh bagels from RabbiTechno!
Lekhaim!
מזל טוב

RabbiTechno 12:43, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

Prank you![edit source]

Thekillerfroggy would like to thank you for reading and enjoying his instructional Russian Roulette handbook. Now you can be just like me (pictured)!
Oh, those Russians...

VFH thanks![edit source]

	Necropaxx hath awarded thee a wedge of Holy Cheese!!!!!
	PS: Thanks for voting on Holy Cheese on VFH.

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 00:48, 6 September 2007 (UTC)

\o/[edit source]

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for D.

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 14:48, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

Comrade[edit source]

Thank you for supporting me for
dictatorship at the VFS. Now my
diabolical scheme for domination
can commence. You Are A True
Comrade.

~

Tanks 4 teh votes[edit source]

The UnIdiot wood like u 2 no thay reeding hells you improd u're readding nd wrting! Weeding is fund!

Thanks for voting on UnNews:Studies show people who read are better at reading

Thank you for the vote! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:23, Oct 3

Thanks![edit source]

	The UnIdiot wishes to acknowledge you for voting for UnNews:Iran to invade Iran, and hopes that you support Iran's plan to invade Iran.
	The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his persistent whoring!

Thanks again! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:58, Oct 12

All hail Lord Kat![edit source]

...Or is it Cat? Ah well, no matter, have this:

	The Led Balloon thanks you for voting on that UnNews... the one about that guy... Oh, what's his name again?
	Ah well, it's not important. Thanks for voting!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:24, Oct 17

Bloody Pagans[edit source]

Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous

Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

Interesting[edit source]

I happened to come across your mainpage, and noticed we have a lot of things in common. I'm not telling which ones tho

Merry Christmas[edit source]

Merry Christmas. ~ Mitch

-- Mitch 13:05, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Enjoy![edit source]

You are presented with one (1) keg of delicious ice-cold
Canadian Beer in thanks for your vote for me for NoTM.
Extreme caution should be used when drinking
or operating machinery. And be sure to keep away from
children under six.

As per thanks,--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 20:17, 27 December 2007 (UTC)

GTFO![edit source]

SHOW ME YOUR TITS!
Thanks for voting my tits to the front page. -Zana Dark

Thanks for the Vote[edit source]

GopherKiller has given you a free ticket to ride Superman Tower of Bloody Severed Legs for voting on UnNews:Six Flags to sell severed legs in gift shop.

Have Fun! Remember, avoid those rednecks at all costs. They want your legs.--GopherKiller Questions? Comments? 15:08, 20 January 2008 (UTC)

Template loop detected: Mitch 1 2/vandalism

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