User:Mitch 1 2/vandalism
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Blast from the past[edit source]
Hey Sannse! Hows it going!?!?!? ShabiDOO 19:32, 2 December 2019 (UTC)
- Welcome back love. ~ Kakun · talk 01:38, 3 December 2019 (UTC)
- Hey! Good to see you both (even you, Kakun). I'm working on my first article to make my return official :P -- Sannse (talk) 23:07, 7 December 2019 (UTC)
- Hi Sannse! Good to hear from you! -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 15:40, 8 December 2019 (UTC)
- Hey! Good to see you both (even you, Kakun). I'm working on my first article to make my return official :P -- Sannse (talk) 23:07, 7 December 2019 (UTC)
Happy Monkey Competition 2021[edit source]
Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:55, 10 February 2021 (UTC)
It's beginning to look a lot like…[edit source]
This page is a * Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition entry.
-----Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer 2021
Seasons Greetings!
It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny— Sign Up Today! (pretty please) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 15:06, 13 December 2021
Merry Christmas and all that jazz[edit source]
Santa Baby…
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I heard that you were single again, well then—we should hook up real soon. Santa baby, Facebook me and give me some likes. Santa cutie, Snapchat me and send me some pix, not dicks—but if you want, I don't mind. Santa cutie, favorite me on Instagram. Slide into my chat DMs—add me to your list and we'll be more than friends. I'll follow you on Twitter too, and this Christmas won't be quite so blue. Santa baby, I saw you had a Tinder and I swiped right—found your Bumble account. Santa baby, Match with me so we can Meetup. |
Santa honey, if you call me up on the phone—we'll bone. I won't play hard to get. Santa baby, do you have white hair down there? Santa baby, you don't have to wear a condom, come on—we can play 'Just the Tip'. Santa baby, even if it's just for one night. I haven't been with lots of men—but last time I got laid he said I was a ten. I'm sure that we could have some fun—if you work out and don't weigh a ton. Santa baby, don't forget the presents this year—like beer, or perhaps some good wine. Santa baby— let's get drunk, Netflix and chill…Here's a hundred dollar bill?..I'm on the pill… |
~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:43, 24 December 2021
Template loop detected: Mitch 1 2/vandalism
Surprise, Motherfucker, USP[edit | edit source]
The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!
February 28th, 2013 • Issue 188 • When life gives you lemons, sue for damages.
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We Here At The UnSignpost™ bear a strong commitment to accuracy—in fact, the UnSignpost is required by law to print at least one truthful statement per issue in order to retain our status as a tax-exempt organic fish-cannery.[1] We believe that our track record speaks for itself: in our nearly 45 months of existence, the USP has printed only 243 retractions, a full 20% of which were not ordered by a court. It was with some consternation, therefore, that we discovered a massive error in our reporting. In recent weeks, former USP editor and general mensch ChiefjusticeDS was repeatedly identified by the UnSignpost as being a "putrid puddle of poodle puke", and also as having been "perm-banned" for vandalizing the new Uncyclopedia with sockpuppet accounts. While the first statement remains an object of controversy, the second one could not be further from the truth. ChiefjusticeDS is one of the least-likely vandals in the history of Uncyclopedia; furthermore, our research indicates that he is not actually aware of the new Uncyclopedia, and while his lawyers apparently are, he is currently blithely executing his sysop duties on the old site, much as a mother elephant seal mournfully attends the corpse of her crushed pup. We would like to take this opportunity to apologize profusely for any inconveniences this erroneous reporting has caused anyone. While we have traced the original mistake to confusion on the part of our correspondents (who are possessed of more eagerness than brains), the final blame must lie at the feet of our fact-checking department; we intend to take them thoroughly to task for their laziness and inattention, just as soon as we figure out how to fire people who don't exist. On a related note, we would like to issue the following corrections and clarifications:
Upcoming PLS So, even if it has felt like a long past couple of weeks, bring your spirits up! We can help, because there is the PLS coming up soon. So yeah, I know this is short. But it's longer than you. HA! HA! HA! No, but seriously. Consider doing the Poo Lit Surprise or ELSE. Ask Zombiebaron
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SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:51, 28 February 2013 (UTC)