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- 1265 - The first ever House of Parliament is convened, first item on agenda is, "Do the peasants have too much rights?"
- 1783 - Britain formally splits from the American Colonies after the Revolutionary War: Britain says, "you'll be back."
- 1789 - George Washington makes speech declaring himself eternal Godking of the 13 colonies, is brought back to his senses with a stiff drink and a good nap.
- 1953 - Senator Alfred "The Lorax" Ramsey introduces bill to Senate to save the endangered Truffula forest from the Onceler.
- 2017 - Donald Trump is inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States, satire dies a slow and painful death.
- 2021 - Donald Trump is expelled as Joe Biden makes his return as the 46th President, promising to reinstate the legality of satire but subsequently failing.
- 2025 - Robot Hitler is inaugurated as the 47th President, liberals immediately call for a hundred stern op-eds.
- 2065 - Barron Trump's floating brain becomes President, Americans wish for the simpler days of Mecha Hitler.