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Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 31

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Take a chill pill, brah

January 31: National Ice Cream Day

  • 201 AD - Ice cream is invented in Rome, but it quickly melts due to the lack of refrigerators, everyone is forced to slurp it.
  • 1804 - French explorers with sensitive teeth steal the secrets of refrigeration from a tribe in north Africa, who they smear as filthy savages.
  • 1819 - Heinrich Zoller creates a means to produce dots from ice cream, his recipe is later stolen by Samuel Dippin, who patents his invention and sells it inside malls.
  • 1928 - Stalin re-invents ice cream and names it Stalin Cream, USSR rejoices but the American scum looses there underwear.
  • 1979 - Ben and Jerry's "Popped Cherry" flavor ice cream is an initial hit with the young male demo, but sales ends in disappointment.
  • 1991 - Dunkin' Donuts loses a hedge-trimming contest to Dairy Queen.
  • 2000 - 88 lucky amusement park guests enjoyed the thrilling Alaska Roller Coaster Ride 261.
  • 2009 - After a nationwide cat infestation, Ben & Jerry's introduces new "Litter Crunch" flavor.
  • 2010 - James Cameron's ice cream based on the hit movie Avatar starts being sold, and somehow manages to sell even more than the movie itself.
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