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- 1839 - The Night of the Big Wind hits Ireland with gusts of flatulence, after the communal stew is laced with baked beans.
- 1929 - Mother Teresa arrives in India, ready to give starving peasants the food of life, Christ Jesus, which is more nourishing than any lentil.
- 1941 - Franklin D. Roosevelt gives his famous Four Freedoms Speech: freedom to yell at town halls, freedom to worship Jesus, freedom to eat lots of turkey, and freedom to fucking die.
- 1950 - The United Kingdom officially apologize for the heinous crime of stealing tea from China, but it's still too little too late.
- 2001 - Congress decides that George W. Bush is the rightful winner after a coin toss.
- 2010 - Uranus officially undergoes name change to avoid ridicule, henceforth called Urectum. (Pictured)
- 2011 - Urectum undergoes yet another name change to avoid new ridicule, will now be called Urmom.
- 2021 - Jesus worshipers living in America's ass invade the U.S. Capitol.