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Okay, so this article is all about Bat Fuck Insanity. I think. Looking at such a thing from a meta sense, you get a long, in-jokey history involving vandalism, cleanup and pure insanity. Looking at such a thing from a proper sense, you get insanity, with bats and sexual intercourse. The term comes from the Latin Defleitermousix Fornix Propheticia, but all I ever wanted was the minecart, and she wouldn't give it to me and they just keep on buggin' me and it builds up inside, IT BUILDS UP INSIDE, just like a bad case of BAT FUCK INSANEEEE! In other words, you shouldn't be here. Bat Fuck Insane will now throttle you for such heinous crimes.

One of the first cases of bat fuck insanity in recorded history was that of Gregorius Androgynous, who went bat fuck insane in the year 103 AD. He devoured himself, starting with the head (which he roasted with shallots and pinion nuts) and continuing with the BAT FUCK INSANE tripes, which he pulled from the stump of his own neck. "Gurgghggh!" he said calmly – in classical Egyptian no less. His friends, Romans, countrymen and other passers by were horrified as his decapitated and partially disemboweled body strolled around the Forum and attended baseball games at the Coliseum. Finally the Senate approved his execution and they hurled a hopelessly insane Gregorius into the Defleitermousix Fornix Asyluminatica for the unforgivable crime of drinking white wine instead of red wine while eating himself. There he subvocalizeed whilst attempting to stuff Fermat's Last Theorem up a stoat (a weasel is totally different, honest). (Full article...)

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Did You Know? No, you didn't.

... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)

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Today's moccasins

June 11: Ontological Empiricism Day

1770 - Captain James Cook wonders whether the Great Barrier Reef actually "exists", or is simply a bundle of sense-data, which is "perceived" by most to be a coral reef.
1922 - The Society of Post-postmodernism declares Ontological Empiricism shallow and pedantic.
1945 - The last day Kyle was seen.... Have you seen Kyle ?
1963 - A Buddhist monk, promoting his new line of fireproof clothing, performs a public demonstration by setting himself on fire in a crowded Saigon street.
1980 - Republican attempts to redraw Delaware's 4th Congressional District inadvertently lead to the first Shiba Inu elected congressman! He hates women.
2007 - The inventor of Ontological Empiricism is punched in the face by God.
2015 - A massive mudslide doesn't kill several dozen poor people in Bangladesh.

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