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From today's featured article 

Darth Maul green.png

My actual name is unknown. I forgot the dub in which they called me since my birth many years ago. One forgets so much when inflicting justice and bringing order to the universe. What day it is, I also don't remember; lightsaber radiation also has a deleterious effect on one's memory. My mind, much like my memory of how my face became red: empty.

I have horns on my head, so I choose to rely on the idea that I am of a species called the Zabrak. My prime was during the Naboo crisis, which was indeed some swampy and dusty shit for the most part. I actually loved the Theed Royal Palace in which I invaded and never knew about the mining pit and its surroundings. I visited when I was younger and really appreciated the pillared columns and symmetrical architecture. My invasion was simply badass, much like my dual-sided lightsaber forged with the hateful, yet arousing energies of the dark side. And no, you may not touch it.(Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
  • ... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
  • ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
  • ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
  • ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
  • ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?

In the news 

Obama tough.png
Boxer shorts, like a real man. And Bruce Lee black pants.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims • LA ICE raids

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA

On this day 

It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws - it's not.

July 16: International Turning Japanese Day (United States)

  • 1812 – Niels Bohr laid out the first Table of the Elements, containing less than half of the elements known today, but including most of the important ones such as Linoleum and Kryptonite.
  • 1862 – American Civil War: David Farragut becomes the first United States Navy rear admiral, becoming the butt end of 'rear admiral' jokes for decades.
  • 1945 – The Age of Large, Mutated Reptiles begins (pictured) when the United States successfully detonates a nuclear weapon, unleashing gigantic horrors upon the world (mostly Japan).
  • 1972 – The Time Cubicle Theory is first developed. The lead theorist was certainly not on any sort of brutally mind-bending narcotics.
  • 1994 – Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 collides with Jupiter and is sentenced to twenty space-years of probation for reckless endangerment and orbiting without a license.
  • 2002 – Stephen Hawkins' dissertation on Modern Advances in Mathematical Theory suitably impresses the brunette in the fifth row, and they both retire to the library for a cozy study session and a quick bout of intercourse.

Picture of the day

Crop Finger
 I wonder what they're trying to tell us this time...

Image credit: Kaizer the Bjorn
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