Zohran Mamdani
Wanting to vote for anyone, just anyone with a pulse, who isn't Donald Trump, Eric Adams, or Andrew Cuomo? Even if the candidate has no experience working and lived in Mom and Dad's basement recording Mumble Rap until he was 30? Wanna vote for a candidate who promises free busses, free rent, free groceries, heck, free everything paid for by rich people who actually work? Wanna defund the police and replace them all with woke social workers who demand everyone get government-mandated sex changes and ignore violent crime, reasoning that those illegal alien criminals special-minded undocumented migrants are just working out their feelings by looting, raping, killing, selling drugs, or just straight-up lighting subway riders on fire?
Like ideas that are too good to be true? Or are you simply bored out of your mind and want to see what happens to Capitalist New York City when you install a blatant Communist as its mayor? Wanna force out all the logically-thinking people and companies from the city and make them move to Texas and Florida? Or God forbid, Upstate? Or rather, do you hate America and want to buttrape her and her values and citizens, starting with her biggest city?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then YOU should vote for Zohran Mamdani the Commie! He's got ZERO management experience, effectively a noob blank slate breath of fresh air, and he's campaigning to run the biggest city in America! Well, anything is better than someone with many years of bad experience running the state, right?
.jpg) | Zohran Mamdani is Un-American! This article has been marked Un-American by your friendly neighborhood congressman and his favorite president. Newt Gingrich would have been so proud! Death to the Woke Commies! Down with the Lamestream Media! How dare they stop us from spreading Democracy! |
In hindsight we should have put this warning on top.. but it's okay! We don't want you to know what you're voting for, as long as you vote blue and against Trump!
Early life[edit | edit source]
Oh, I guess we're writing an encyclopedia article instead of an ad? Fiiiiine, we'll follow the rules.
Zohran Mamdani was born in Uganda of all places, proving that everyone, even illegal aliens.. um.. I mean undocumented migrants, can become president!
Wait, that's not how it works? Ohh.
Well, Zohran became a legal US Citizen despite coming from another country!
Rap career[edit | edit source]
Working career[edit | edit source]
Political career[edit | edit source]
After his parents finally told him to get a real job, Mamdani ran for a city councilman position and won on the principal that no one else wanted it. Because no other candidates ran and only a bunch of radical left commies voted, he easily won the election by default and thus a $100,000 salary as an officeholder.
Mamdani has done nothing of value while in office aside from continue to make political mumble rap, smoke weed, and skip every New York City council meeting. He then decided to run for mayor as a "Democratic Socialist", easily gaining the endorsement of AOC and Bernie.
Political views[edit | edit source]
Personal life[edit | edit source]
Zohran is the ULTIMATE New Yorker. His favorite pizza place is Pizza Hut, his favorite place to see a concert is Madison Square Garden, and his favorite subway station is Times Square, making him think that all subway stations are free of crime. Still more authentic than slimey Andrew Cuomo, according to his supporters.
 | This article needs to be grown |