Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 23

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A Festivus for the rest of us!

December 23: Festivus

  • 1402 - Frank Constanza invents Festivus, "a holiday for the rest of us."
  • 1888 - Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh cuts off part of his left ear, sells it on eBay for three times the list price.
  • 1938 - Immigrants from the Old Country bring over the Festivus Pole (Pictured) to America, get rid of the tinsel as it's "too distracting."
  • 1954 - The first successful piano transplant is performed, following failed attempts on organs and harpsichords.
  • 1970 - Ted Cruz molts for the first time! He eats the scaly residue for sustenance.
  • 2000 - Competing holiday Christmas Eve Eve gets laughed off the room by good, correct people.
  • 2006 - Your uncle makes a scene during the Airing of Grievances, makes the rest of the day awkward.
  • 2007 - You and Your mom duke it out in the Feats of Strength. Your Mom promptly beats your ass.