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- 4 AD - The Blessed St. Mary the Virgin, Mother of God decides not to chuck her slimy bastard infant into the nearest pile of hay.
- 336 - Everyone who isn't a Jew or a dirty heathen collectively decides to celebrate the birthday of a weird Jewish cultist. Now we decorate trees in his name.
- 935 - Wenceslaus I, Duke of Bohemia Bohemia dies of acute hypothermia while drunk outside during a blizzard, titular song invented to save face.
- 1892 - A young child from Wichita, Kansas, actually gets a partridge in a pear tree for Christmas. Child distraught since he wanted a PS4.
- 1963 - African-Americans, angry at the song I'm Dreaming of a Whites-Only Christmas create their own holiday, Kwanzaa.
- 1969 - Santa Claus gets laid for the first time.
- 1976 - Santa Claus is shot down with a surface-to-air missile.
- 1984 - ACLU lawyers successfully petition advertisers to start calling Christmas, The Holiday Season.
- 1990 - After months of violent protests, children of Atheist couples finally get Christmas presents. Jesus still hates their guts, though.