UnNews:Elon Musk doesn't care whether Max wakes up
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Late delivery
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Mr. Clark W. Griswold...
I found an article for UnNews. I was supposed to deliver it October 2, 2025, but it fell between the seats, and I didn't see it. I'm sorry. |
Thursday, October 2, 2025
Tuesday, December 2, 2025
alking MAGA meme Elon Musk is urging people to cancel Netflix due to a long-canceled cartoon literally nobody has ever heard of and UnNews can't be bothered to look up. [Dead End: Paranormal Park, you lazy fuck! - Ed.]
Musk posted on X: "Cancel Netflix for the health of your kids. Say no to the transgender woke agenda! Besides, there will be nothing worth watching on Netflix within the next three months. Nobody wants to see yet another Frankenstein. Guillermo del Toro peaked with Pacific Rim. And Nightmare Alley was so bad he should've been deported! Like I said, nothing worth watching on Netflix within the next three months. Mark my words!"
When a fellow tech bro whispered in Musk's ear. He pissed-off Tesla and X/Twitter owner mouthed, "Oh, shit!" and sent out a follow-up tweet (Do they still call them that?):
“Say that you will about those 40-year-old kids in Hawkins, I don't give a shit. I don't care any more than you do whether Max wakes up. If I hear that fucking Kate Bush song one more time, I'll have President Trump terminate her visa and deport that Millie girl, Millie Bell Biv DaVoe. I don't care if Vecna kills everybody. I don't care if Eleven dies. She hasn't been funny since Spinal Tap!”
– Elon Musk on Stranger Things 5
[The writer's brain broke and he was unable to finish this article. - Ed]
Tuesday, December 2, 2025
In an update to this story, all five seasons of Stranger Things are in the Top 10 on Netflix, Season 5 crashed the streamer, the season is 85% on Rotten Tomatoes and "Sorcerer" is a top-rated episode. And that Dead End: Paranormal Park cartoon is still canceled. Meanwhile Elon Musk is still the star of SNL's Gen Z Hospital sketch.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Laya Neelakandan "Elon Musk is telling his followers to cancel Netflix subscriptions. Here’s what’s happening" CNBC, October 2 2025