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From today's featured article 

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My dog, Buddy, is the worst. He's just terrible. Don't vote for my dog! Don't vote for this article. It shouldn't be featured on any encyclopedia. It doesn't align with our website's values. I'll explain everything...

Reasons not to vote for Buddy:

  1. He's gay.
  2. He's a yeast infected cunt.
  3. He hates America.

I don't make these kinds of remarks lightly. I have both edited enhanced photos and logic to back up my statements. I'm not saying any of the above things are bad. They aren't in an of themselves. It's just he is the most extreme radical version of all of these things and this article, under no circumstances should be featured because of it. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that Wikipedia contains millions of articles written by countless anonymous contributors? (Pictured)
  • ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
  • ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
  • ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
  • ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
  • ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
  • ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?

In the news 

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SIX SEVEN!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick MangoldJamaicaDonna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy Cliff

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7"

On this day 

Contrary to popular belief, Sherlock Holmes was not, in fact, a Silhouette.

December 1: Sherlock Holmes Day

  • 2 - Advent calendars invented. In pre-chocolate Eurasia, children open doors to reveal grains of sand.
  • 1887 - Sherlock Holmes appears for the first time in a dazzling sheer white silk tafetta evening gown, creating an instant sensation throughout the Victorian world.
  • 1891 - Holmes is killed by Professor Moriarty, brought back three years later in "Arthur Conan Doyle Needs Money."
  • 1897 - Holmes disappears over Switzerland's Reichenbach Falls, only to reappear three years later on the northern shoals of Lake Lugano as a giant squid.

Picture of the day

Waiting Wilde
Unable to reach Him by phone, Oscar Wilde took his seat in God's waiting room (also called purgatory). It is believed that he waits there to this day.

Image credit: RadicalX
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,026 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.