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From today's featured article
A Charlie Brown Christmas is a crudely-animated Christmas special, based on the comic strip Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz. The special's central theme involves a satirical critique of the commercialism of the holiday, building up to a plainly-spoken articulation of the true meaning of Christmas. Which is to say, the true true meaning rather than this lukewarm fuzzy "Let's all hold hands" bollocks most specials pass off as the meaning of Christmas. If you shed a tear at this special, it's because God ordains it.
The special was sponsored by The Coca-Cola Company, initially intended to be a mere cash-in on the lucrative Peanuts franchise. It was hastily written over a period of six weeks, and animated on a shoestring budget in only four. Its unconventional elements such as a jazzy underscore, monotone child actors as opposed to adult ones, absence of a laugh track, semi-satirical humor, and not treating the target audience like idiots led the producers to predict the special would be a disaster preceding its broadcast. Oh, how wrong they were. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... I could absolutely kill for something to eat right now? (Pictured)
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
- ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
In the news
- UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday (Pictured)
- Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches!
- ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America
- North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
- 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
- Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
- Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents"
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement • Ravens fans hiding in a corner after yet another choke
Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs' season • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Dallas Cowboys' season • Patrick Mahomes' backup's ACL
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Indianapolis Colts' and Baltimore Ravens' seasons • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard • Dick van Dyke, eventually • 2025
On this day
December 28: Penis Appreciation Day (Not Lesbos), Day of the Not-so-Innocents (Spain, Portugal, South America)
- 23 - Penis apreciation day invented by Jesus. Not realising his mate Judas and the entire roman army was less well hung he would regret it one day.
- 1963 - Paul Hindemith's pancreas explode, killing him a second time and 36 others a first time as he flew over Lakewurst, New Jersey. The music community rejoices once more.
- 1969 - Santa Claus' funeral is held. Millions mourn.
- 2004 - Deciding they also liked Mondays superheroes planned a combined assault on Bob Geldoff. After an hour of the Hoff's singing and Mr T's pittying the devastating blow came when Darth Vader told Geldoff who his father was. This caused him to spontaneously combust all over Pauline Fowlers scowl.
- 2006 - Uncyclopedians lose count at the sheer number of anniversaries with Penises in them.
- 2007 - World economy goes into meltdown as penis appreciation day lasts until August 15th 2008. This only ends when lesbians attempt to seize control of the earth. Millions would die in the conflict
- 2009 - It is rumoured that Bob geldoff will return to fight the final battle between good and evil one day. The Vatican, the CIA and Micheal Stipe all deny this.
Picture of the day
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The Grue Crossing signs have proven to be an effective way to prepare drivers for an encounter. Image credit: Kaizer the Bjorn |
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