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From today's featured article
Burj Khalifa
Imagine a big
tower. A really
really really
big tower that
has little towers
growing out of it
Just the size of...
the size of God's
feet. How on Earth can you
compete with that? It just
Did you know...
- ... that Gypsies are stealing your carrots right now? (Pictured)
- ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
- ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
- ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
- ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
In the news
- North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island (Pictured)
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
- 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
- Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
- Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents"
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee
Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. • Sheen Estevez
Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7 • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard
On this day
December 11: FIVE BIG BOOM DAY! (Worldwide), Try Communism Day (Lancashire, U.K.)
- 1229 - Pope Gregory IX deletes thirty-one days from the Gregorian calendar, during a Florentine siege of Rome that had prevented toiletries from entering the city.
- 1841 - Oscar Wilde imprisoned for practicing heterosexuality in England without a Royal permit, a capital offense.
- 1941 - Germany and Italy celebrate for the first and last time "Let's Go To War With Russia Day." Italians and Germans regret this decision by 1945.
- 1953 - Trans-dimensional squirrels attempt a coup on the Kremlin but are driven back after the Soviets break wind in unison, creating a tear in the fabric of the universe into which the invaders are obliterated, nuts and all.
- 1983 - An AirChina plane goes Boom over the South China Sea; only the air hostess survives, on account of her pillowy breasts doubling as a life jacket.
- 2005 - Face of Oscar Wilde is seen on frozen pizza.
- 2009 - All forms of international combat are banned by the UN, international disputes are decided by caged death matches between the world leaders.
- 2009 - Annual "Try Communism Day" is celebrated by the people of Lancashire, sadly they all starve to death.
Picture of the day
 |
Imagine a world in which the sum of all human knowledge is in your hand. Image credit: SunnyChow |
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