User talk:SysRq/5

This is an ARCHIVED talk page. Please do not edit this, or I WILL kill you.

Im in ur takl pag, steelin ur virginity

lolllolololollolololllllo. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 18:49, Apr 26

haha it werkd o w8 ist u agin wtf r u doin hear i tht i tld u dnt cum bak nles u brin ur dog ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:51 Apr 26

BAM!

Be lonely no more. You in the mood for a pee? -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:50, 26 Apr

*sigh* I guess...link me to it. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:52 Apr 26

It should be a relatively quick one I think. Here. I love u! Ur teh bestest! OS? -Sk8trChik

Alright, just keep in mind that I'm currently going between Uncyc and Reason, because I've got a song that I've been working on for the last 8 hours. (I haven't slept, hopefully your scores won't reflect that.) ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:05 Apr 26

Hey, that's alright. Take your time. I really should do some work here while I'm at work anyway. -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:06, 26 Apr

LOL UR A BAD EMPLOYEE ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:08 Apr 26

Which is especially ironic considering the article I just wrote (that youre reviewing) while at work. -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:47, 26 Apr

baDONG

spa-DOINK!   Le Cejak • <Apr 26, 2008 [19:23]>

bpi-DOOSH!! kuh-PAWWEH!! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:42 Apr 26

Man, do you ever deserve this!

I figured you needed something to mark your half-century, so here you go! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:51, Apr 27

Congratulations! On a further note, you have permission to decide the fate of literally many reviewers on User:Cajek/Pee. Edit away!   Le Cejak • <Apr 27, 2008 [15:49]>

I know I'm allowed to edit it as per my SK rights. I just choose not to because that means, like, work or some shit. And thanks UU, much appreciated even though you're well aware that my count is a little bit different. In fact, I just realized that I have the man himself to ask: where are these earliest Pees that I was supposed to have done? I'm missing a couple. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 23:44 Apr 27

Er, yeah.....

Um, yeah. About that whole "high school" chop thingamajig. I'd get Modus or ZB to do it, becuz I still can't figure it out and I've been trying for a while (on and off). I wish you had pestered me more, it would've saved us a bunch of time and me a bunch of embarrassment.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 15:06, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

Proxima Centauri and the aliens of Porrila

Thank you for reviewing, “Proxima Centauri and the aliens of Porrila”. You’re right. I’m more used to writing straight fiction than humour. I tried hard to make it funny. I’ve never seen for example, a science fiction work where first contact is treated the way I treated it. “It’s no good saying, ‘You just catch the 28 bus away from the City Centre and get off at the crossroads after the railway bridge' when your cool friend is just over 4 light years away.”

I thought the respected alien ruler lounging in a mud bath and pulling the astronomer into the mud was funny. I thought the alien names like, “Green Tentacles the 2nd” and “Yellow Eyespots the 23rd” were funny as was the contrast with Terran Peter Bliggs. I thought the, “After numerous Wiki Conferences and Wiki Edit Wars and Wiki Disagreements” were a good satire of the way Wikipedia works.

As you probably know I’m new here. I’m into my 3rd week. I can see as you can that this story is different from the usual style of Uncyclopedia. With every week I can see more of that. Other Uncyclopedians suggested writing the story as Unnews items or Unbooks. That looks good to me but I’m not ready to write that way yet. My plan is to write this. Later I want to write the Unnews items and perhaps adapt the story for unbooks. Ther next stage I plan is that Christian missionaries are included in the first party that travels from Earth to Proxima Centauri. Fundamentalist Christians want to convert the aliens to Christianity. That gives opportunities for Unnews items from fundamentalist Christian papers and contrasting items from freethought papers.

What’s the strongest case I can make for keeping the story? I suspect it may have helped inspire UnNews:Day of woe to World's scientists: Russian fishermen catch and eat alien. There is also a translation there. Proxima Centauri 17:08, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

To be honest, I don't think there's much of a case for it in its present state. You have to be willing to make some creative changes to fit our standards. There's nothing wrong with writing the way you want to write. As long as it's funny, we're gonna like it. Your story is great in my opinion, it just doesn't belong here. I hope you didn't think I disliked it; there's a difference between being good writing and being good humor writing. That tells me that you are a good writer and that you have potential to write some good stuff. I just think you need to aim that big, hard talent stick a little more towards the humor side of things. Also, vagina. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 16:44 Apr 28

Thanks for the vote

Ta for voting Tony in, and not the bad one but the good one. Big thanks and hugs for yor vote:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:51, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

the LIST

You know how to edit the list, right? With the averages and everything? Hop to it, Mr. Rq. We're pretty backed up at the moment.   Le Cejak • <Apr 28, 2008 [2:01]>

I do know how to edit it, and to be honest with you I was just about to log off when I saw I had a message. Can't get to it now, odds are I'll get to it tomorrow morning/mid afternoon. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 02:07 Apr 28

Remember to add your name to the list and yadda yadda.   Le Cejak • <Apr 28, 2008 [2:09]>

...maybe. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 21:38 Apr 28

dooooooo iiiiiittttttt   Le Cejak • <Apr 28, 2008 [21:39]>

FINE. There's nothing up there right now, I guess I'll just hang around and watch the queue for a bit. God forbid I take time to do an effing review myself. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 21:41 Apr 28

shhhh shh shh shh lissteen too my soooothhiinnngg voooiiiceee   Le Cejak • <Apr 28, 2008 [22:04]>

tell me about the one time you saw jennifer love hewit's vagina again, daddy... ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:06 Apr 28

tonight's story is about the maintenance box and the score averages. You have to only cross out (<s>) the pee review name and the author, not your own thoughts on it. Then you must find their names down in the other sections and update them. That includes, for EACH USER WHO DID A REVIEW, their total # of reviews, # of in-depth reviews, the {{%|X|Y}} thing, their scores, the last review that person did on which date, the average # of reviews down below, the average # of in-depth reviews, the average scores and the last review checked overall. It's actually pretty easy once you see it. Jeez, when I write it all out like that it sounds insane. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Cajek (talk • contribs)

still working on it daddy, jeesh... ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:13 Apr 28

I'm more like a creepy uncle. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Cajek (talk • contribs)

so did I do okay uncle cajek? – Preceding unsigned comment added by SysRq (talk • contribs)

you totally kicked its ass. I believed in you, even though me giving instructions made me look like a moron. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Cajek (talk • contribs)

well, that was my goal from the beginning. mission accomplished. i think i'll go for one of those wine coolers you keep offering me, uncle cajek. – Preceding unsigned comment added by SysRq (talk • contribs)

thx

FOOM Thanks for voting for Why?:Burn a Furby? on VFH. Now get out there and incinerate some of those suckers!

– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 19:12 Apr 28, 2008

argh

I was going to review The Dog Dies at the End but you pounced on it. CURSE YOU!!!!1111 --THE 22:12, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

I'm in a generous mood right now...seeing as how you're not a threat to my score, I'll let you do the review since I'm working on checking some other reviews right now. But be warned, if you give a shitty review, I'll just do it again. Plus, I'll tell everyone at school that you pee sitting down like a girl. =D ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:20 Apr 28

Hey, thanks. Also, everyone at school knows I do a one armed handstand when I pee. --THE 22:22, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

That's the spirit, SysRq! Also, THE, when are we gonna do... the thing?   Le Cejak • <Apr 28, 2008 [22:23]>

This sounds like a conversation that needs to take place somewhere other than my talk page. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:25 Apr 28

How come we never talk anymore?

I feel a distance between us that threatens to engulf my whole world. You are my all, my everything, my reason to try and be a better man. Can't we set aside our differences and get back to how we used to be? Also, this. If you're still feelin' it that is. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:52, 29 Apr

Also also;

	Well, well, well. I never would have guessed that SysRq was stupid enough to vote for this tripe! Goes to show you never can tell.
	Thanks for voting!

Thanks for taking the time to vote for this stupid thing! -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:49, 29 Apr

Sure we talk! I just haven't been on much because of the whole "work" thing, not to mention that "school" thing. What bitches they are...getting in the way of my personal time with you. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 17:58 Apr 30

You need to quit that pesky job and drop out of school! Really; it's your best course of action anyway. Education and careers are so 20th century. -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:03, 30 Apr

Aw jeez, I almost forgot: PENISPENISPENIS!!!!!!!! -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:24, 30 Apr

Yeah, I've been thinking about shooting for a career in food service. I'd love nothing more than to spit in peoples' burgers for the rest of my life. Fuck school. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 01:56 May 1

Have you considered the prestigious McDonalds University? I've heard some of the world's most successful men have graduated from there. -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:13, 1 May

☯

Hey, what's happened to ☯? Is he still out there? His last edit ws on like the 18th of April!! What's going on? Are you out there ☯? - 18:57 1 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

He told me he was taking a little break until summer rolled around. He'll be back. He always comes back for me. =P ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:59 May 1

Oh OK, then! I thought he may have left for good, which would have been bad! I'll just let myself out. :D - 19:27 1 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

You're...leaving already? What about the tea party? I had the biscuits all ready and everything! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:35 May 1

Don't worry, I'll eat your biscuits! -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:39, 1 May

Oh good. Can we have sexual intercourse after that? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:44 May 1

Wat? Ur teh ghey! I liek boobzlollolol. -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:54, 1 May

Heh heh, I wasn't actually gone I was stealing your DVD player. But that's besides the point, I just came back to point and marvel at SysRq's stunning, stunning I tells ya, subtlety. I stand in awe....teh he he he - 19:56 1 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

o ya imeen boobz r gr8 rofl dat waz a clos 1 ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:58 May 1

lolz liek totallee dats y i got man boob implants, init? - 20:00 1 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

u gize r ttlly not ghey ur cool u cn b mai frnds. os? -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:02, 1 May

yaplz thx ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 20:03 May 1

heh liek kl lolllz!!!!111!!! - 20:06 1 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

k wun @ a tiem plz, i chokezorzlollolollol -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:13, 1 May

Lolz!!!111!!! YTTE desperately trys to cover up for the fact that he's been out-worded with internet slang - 20:51 1 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

On WotMs

Good luck to us non head hitters I suppose :) --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:40, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

Second place is just as good to me, even though there's no title associated with it. Good luck indeed! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 13:48 May 2

NotM - Thanks

SHIZZLE DIZZLE!

SysRq, you there? Come out where I can see you, I come bearing gifts! There you are! You are a VERY clever person. Why? Because you voted for me and helped me become NotM! Well done. Give yourself a pat on the back.

To reward you, I'm giving you a YTTE goodie-bag. It is a collection of YTTE memorabilia I've just pulled out of my pocket...That's one scrumpled piece of paper, a dead slug, three unidentified hairs, a strain of the bird flu virus, a morally ambiguous Olympic torch, two cows and various assorted, unexpected items. Enjoy!

YTTE would also remind you that he's still got a few miracle toothbrushes left. Toothbrushes have so many uses, and these miracles ones are great! Buy one now for a massively reduced price and enjoy their increased ease-of-use feel. 98% of the people studied said their teeth were saved by these total protection tooth brushes! Get your hands on one now!

P.S. Sorry that was so long and rambling, sorry there's no picture. You'll just have to imagine that this is a short, concise, beautiful thank you template. Also I'm hoping I'm not breaking any unspoken rule or etiquette of Uncyclopedia by giving you this thank you template!

from YTTE.

Thankerinos! - 16:09 2 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Nudge nudge

Heya SysRq, just wanted to thank you for nominating the messenger article :) . ~ 20:50, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

No problem, I had no doubts that it would make feature. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:08 May 2

I actually did :). To tell you the truth, I'm still surprised whenever I get a feature...~ 13:16, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

I'm still surprised when I get messages that aren't thank you templates. Guess we have more in common than I thought. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:21 May 3

Hey there

I bumped into Sk8rgrl or whateverthehell her name is on IRC today. I just wanted to express my deepest sympathy. The chick's nuts. I still love you though. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:13, 2 May

She is nuts. You didn't follow that stupid drama? I'm sure it's documented in one of my archives, like either 3 or 4. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:18 May 2

I only saw a little bit. That was right before I joined. She was linking all sorts of porn. What is she, 12? -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:21, 2 May

She told me she was 14...I mean 18, officer! She told me she was 19! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:28 May 2

(lol on SysRq's above comment, btw) Tell us the story of Sk8rgirl, sysrq.   Le Cejak • <May 03, 2008 [13:30]>

Once upon a time, there was some dumbass named SysRq who decided "What the hell, I'll help the next person I see!" He won the fucking lottery. Two talk page archives later, he still hasn't lived it down. While she lived happily ever after on IRC with nothing but a training bra on, the dumbass just got on with his life. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:25 May 3

LOL! Last night she posted a link to a pic of TATU (the band) and tried to convince people she was the dark haired one. I nearly pissed myself laughing. Now I feel a little bad for pretending I was stalking you. I had no idea just how crazy she was. Sorry. I still love you though -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:37, 3 May

I'm serious, check my talk page archives. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:39 May 3

Holy shit! You weren't kidding. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:28, 3 May

I'm never kidding. Read my articles. They're deadly serious. It's a miracle that I get anything featured that way. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 23:00 May 3

You are a freaking miracle, my friend! and your talk page banter is top notch!   Le Cejak • <May 03, 2008 [23:08]>

It takes practice, son. Just say your breakfast and eat prayers every morning. Someday, all this will be yours. /me points to an old, dirty playcastle on the front lawn ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:32 May 4

"and your talk page banter is top notch!" I agree! Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 02:23, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

In all honesty, I'd say I'm probably somewhere up there on the list of people who are funny outside of article writing. But the top of that list will always belong to Modus. THAT'S one funny mofo. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:20 May 5

RE: That review

Just saying thanks for the excellent review. I'm actually pretty shocked you think it's VFH-able, I didn't think I put as much into that as I normally do. I forgot about the teapot reference, so that definitely helped. Thanks! —– Sir Hv » | Talk | Contribs | KUN | UotM | RotM | VFH | Kidney | 5/05 10:17

Also, I'm probably not going to self-nom it. Partly because I don't like self-noms and partly because I want my first VFH to be legit. —– Sir Hv » | Talk | Contribs | KUN | UotM | RotM | VFH | Kidney | 5/05 20:19

Course, you're a classy guy. I'll nom it for you, but it's gonna cost you. I like those shoes, by the way. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 00:06 May 6

Really really really really really really late thanks

I felt like making one after all those months --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:20, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

Veteran

Hm, I do daresay it looks a bit better, I liked the addition of the small text,, rather then the large, and the frustration at the Olive Garden was well placed. The part with you walking away to help you mother wipe was unexpected, but well placed,, particurally given the Veterans outburst at the end of the article. I would say I would have bumped my review score up 4 or so. Nice improvement! Warm Regards, Javascap

That sounds like the words of a man who would nominate said article for said feature. I only ask because I have a bad history with self noms. And of course I would return the favor. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 12:33 May 6

Passing Blah

Hi SysRq - it's been a while since I was last on this page saying hello, so I figured I'd pop to this page and say hello. So there it is. Don't expect anything funny, I'm having a seriously bad case of writer's block at the moment, so if you could add a really funny response to this, we can just pretend nothing happened and carry on. Pippings! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:50, May 6

Yeah, pippings from me too! Because I'm from the poofy land of England! :)   Le Cejak • <May 06, 2008 [13:03]>

Most undoubtedly, my cherished acquaintance, it is one's duty - nay, hereditary obligation - to uphold, perpetuate, and wherever possible enhance all caricatures, stereotypes and erroneously ascribed peccadilloes of the denizens of this sceptered isle at all eventualities. So I doff my impeccable Top Hat in acknowledgment of your amusing observation, tweak my Bow Tie in poofy affectation, and instruct my chauffeur to convey me from your presence to the social establishment of my choice. Fare thee well, and god speed! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:11, May 6

I say, that's rather thoughtful of you fine gentlemen! Surely I must invite you to visit my talk page more often, as your company is most enjoyed and the like. Whatever. I'm sure I mean to whore something to you, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was. (Actually, yes I can.)

As for you, Cajek...who let you back in the house? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 13:55 May 6

ruff ruff ruff ruff!   Le Cejak • <May 06, 2008 [14:46]>

UnSignpost: May 8th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now With 0 Trans Fat!

May 8th, 2008 • Issue 1 • Yankees: 5

UnSignpost Unleashed on UnCommunity Unless you were blinded or high during the time you read this newspaper's title, you know that Uncyclopedia finally has UnSignpost! For too long, Uncyclopedia has been devoid of talk page spam, such as thank you templates and welcome messages. To rectify this, Dr. Skullthumper, a local doctor and zombie specialist, and Cajek, one of the last members of the light-blue-ish species of Cajeks, have created a newspaper in the latest exercise in futility to hit the site since Forum:Count to a million. Skullthumper and Cajek spent 15 hours working on the first edition, not including writing time. Said Skull, who was trying to sleep until we interviewed him, "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." News has reached us that friendships were strained during the production of the first issue. Skullthumper, whose hospital room we broke into, said "F**king Cajek. I will NEVER forgive him for what he did to me! Oh, see you guys in the office Monday." The Uncyclopedia Signpost has a world-wide circulation of more than 3, with plans for further issues. Uncyclopedia F**king Doomed Uncyclopedia, a humor wiki that you're on right now, has thrown itself into a state of chaos and is on the verge of collapse. Unless someone either writes more or writes less, the wiki that we have come to know and love (like that retarded cousin that comes over during Christmastime) will vanish. Unless it doesn't, in which case someone's going to be very disappointed. Codeine, Save the Mooses, and a bunch of other people we've never heard of give the site 6 days to "clean up its god damned act." Because the site is doomed, the local WikiNewspaper, UnSignpost, will soon print its last issue. Cajek, one of the editors, said of the event, "No we're not closing down you bunch a 'tards! You're the worst reporters I've ever seen! DON'T YOU DARE PUT THAT IN THE FIRST ISSUE!" Local psychics have set Uncyclopedia's Doomsday for next Monday, around teatime. Upgrade On Wednesday, Wikia upgraded to MediaWiki version 1.12. While these reporters don't have any idea what that means, new features seem to include: Broken <choose> tags! That's right, even more signature-breaking action! Russian Roulette usergroups! So you thought you had rollback rights, huh? Whoops! Not anymore! Wikia is reportedly looking into making new features such as accidentally dumping the database for Shits and Giggles™. These reporters would like to thank Wikia for working so hard to keep our beloved wiki running, and would also like to say "FU WIKIA", preferably in caps. Pee Review Does Goodly UN:PR is nearly empty due to many diligent reviewers who have little else to do, and don't know how to write articles themselves. Uh, unless they're reading this right now, in which case they rock! YesTimeToEdit starts a cult One of the newer cults, YesTimeToEdit's Cow Moo Cult is our... CULT OF THE WEEK! With a base located in the jungles of Nebraska, YTTE's cult makes all the fun things you want, like polygamy, sodomy, and, in YTTE'S case, polysodomy, legal. Sadly, unlike more Eastern-y cults, it does not practice Kung Fu. But you can bet that if it did, it wouldn't just use it for defense. ...Damn namby-pamby bastard Easterny cults. YesTimeToEdit's eternal nemesis, NoTimeToRevert, has not announced plans to start a cult, but probably has one in secret just to be a dick. That guy is such a dick. Rcmurphy nominated for Noob of the Month again Thekillerfroggy is sucked into the black vortex of tradition as he takes another whack at a dead horse and nominates long-time noob Rcmurphy for the honor of Noob of the Month. Mr. Froggy had this to say to "reporters": "I figured that, since RCMurphy, one of the oldest members of the site, was in fact NOT a noob, that this little gesture would give the community a giggle. You see? Because he, like, isn't a noob."

Check out these pages! What you probably missed on IRC (and were happy you did) Help Fnoodle link up Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia At-A-Glance Kalir's Epic Story Irony in the forums From our logs: Codeine huffed "Man With no Name" (You don't need to create redirects for every case permutation of your title) Codeine huffed "Man with no Name" (in fact, it's quite irritating) Codeine huffed "Man with no name" (and, frankly) Codeine huffed "The Man with No Name" (a complete bloody waste of your time and mine) Codeine huffed "Man with No Name" (but hey, welcome to Uncyc anyway) Codeine huffed "The Man With No Name" (now read BGBU) 07:16, May 6, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 29 minutes ‎ (Admins are immune to autoblock, duh. And if autoblock tried that shit on a janitor, why, we'd just superblock his ass.) 14:47, May 5, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.108.96.22 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (The Jonas Brothers, eh? Sounds like some kind of shitty boy band. One week to go out and buy a Led Zeppelin album. Oh, and stop blanking.) Biopic of the Week Dr. Skullthumper ~ With a degree in HTML and Wikiology, Dr. Wolfgang Amadeus Milhouse Mozart Jonathan Willy Wizbang Skullthumper, along with Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, is full of all sorts of techie knowledge for the wandering newb. He enjoys walks on the beach, holding hands, and heroin. Lots and lots of heroin. ...Except replace "heroin" with "rubber duckies". Hey, we just wanted a bad-boy reputation! ...Obviously we failed. Quote of the Week: " very very hilariously strong against" - Everyone on Everything. Spacefiller of the week: Did you know that Grand Theft Auto has had more than 700 different spinoffs, including Grand Theft Auto:Antarctica Oscar Wilde LOLOLOLLL and Grant Theft Auto:Crime Scene Investigation:The ReReckoning:Time of Darkness? No, you didn't. Dumbass. Disclaimer of the week: UnSignpost is not responsible for any lost property while reading. Any lost property found while reading UnSignpost is property of Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek, irrespectively. Any lost property lost while reading UnSignpost is your own damn problem. Week Box of the week: Definitely the Grand Theft Auto one. I peed my pants. Seriously. Somebody should give these guys an award. I was all screamin' n' shit, "Oh yes, YES Dr. Skullthumper or Cajek! Slather me in your humor juice!" The other people in the library, and my psychiatrist, said I was weird, but it was totally worth it.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:17, 8 May 2008 (UTC)

If this was you

You're probably autoblocked right now. And if that's the case, I'd come on IRC soon to sort it out. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 18:12 May 09, 2008

UnSignpost Sunday Edition: May 11th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

May 11th, 2008 • Issue 2 • Scene XII

Wikia staff finally locates blockage in the Internet tubes: Spang's talkpage After endless days of searching itself, Wikia has discovered the source of all its problems. "It's not DPL," Wikia's local sexy janitor, who wished to remain anonymous, told reporters. "It's not those damn ParserFunctions either, or forums, or even Chuck Norris." When asked what the real cause of Wikia's distresses were, our source remained tight-lipped by stapling his mouth shut. Which was probably a bad idea, considering he ended up writhing in pain on the floor, bleeding all over the nice Wikia rugs. Thankfully, the UnSignpost has a trained doctor on its staff, who was sensible enough to call for medical help. After the sexy janitor was revived, he said "rar." When further questioned about the source of all Wikia's woes, he finally admitted it was Spang's talkpage. "Uncyclopedia user "Spang"'s refusal to archive his talkpage is slowly clogging up the arteries of the Internet," says a technical forum at Wikia. "The talkpage in question has already managed to crash all three of the computers in Australia." Upon being asked to archive his talkpage, Spang reportedly said, "No." When Uncyclopedia was asked to comment, the site had this to say: "FU SPANG". UnSignpost Releases First Issue May 8th, 2008: Uncyclopedia develops a new fungus... a newspapery one. "Through all the shockporn and Oscar Wilde references, we made it!" Founder Dr. Skullthumper said at a recent press conference. At the conference in Skullthumper's backyard, editor-in-chief Cajek, wearing a traditional light blue Mongolian Toga and screaming at birds, had more to add. "I would like to thank all the writers involved. Thank you, you gods of men. You captains of the human experience." Police are investigating the use of strong hallucinogenic drugs during the making of the first issue. So far, the investigation has reached the top of the Unsignpost empire, when detectives found Dr. Skullthumper forcing his staff to squirt automotive door-lock de-icer up their noses to "enhance the creative joo-joo." Local police then ordered the paper to rescind two award-winning articles from its May 8th release. Two of the most hardened criminals on the UnSignpost staff, Meatbone and Spider, are currently planning revenge. When asked if UnSignpost was, like the Daily Show, the Onion, or Uncyclopedia, popular enough to parody itself, Cajek said "No. Obviously not. We can't say we suck yet, or else people would be like 'yeah, they do suck!' We have to wait until people like us. Then, when they read us making fun of ourselves they'll be all like 'this paper ROX!'" In the meantime, the paper promises to not make fun of itself, and will stick to meta-parodying instead until "someone important says it's okay." Heavy metal music found to be beneficial when reverting vandals Ever find yourself stuck awake at three in the morning (EST), fighting a few vandals with no admins around? Studies show that your choice of music might influence how you revert. In a study involving Squiggle, RAHB, Cajek, Fnoodle, Dr. Skullthumper, and Starnestommy, in which they fought diligently for Uncyclopedia through the night, heavy metal music was found to be the best for the purpose of "ass-kicking". After sprinkling some magic over the statistics, they automatically became true. Cajek's Corner By Dr. Skullthumper Today, we're going to make a standard Uncyclopedia article, Cajek-style. You will need: Annoying text. Preferably some blinky things and <big> tags. A sense of humor. Something to complain about for a page or so. Now, we'll combine the elements together into something that might be called an "article". In reality, all you have to do is whine for a good few pages of text, then sprinkle the annoying elements - sparingly. Add headlines and split up paragraphs to disguise your rant as a well-formatted article, and you're done! Next week: Whoring your article Skull's Skullery By Cajek Hi kids! Today, we're going to travel with me, Dr. Skullthumper, through a normal day at Uncyc! 9:00am: Complain about Wikia. Post new topic in Village Dump about Wikia. Troll Special:Recentchanges. 10:42am: Troll talk pages. Post new topic in Village Dump about some random techie shit. Bother some guy. Revert some guy's edits. Get some guy banned. 10:44am: spend thirty minutes on IRC talking to an admin saying how that guy was my best friend, and I never meant to hurt him. 12:10pm: Vandalize some guy's userpage over and over again. 4:92pm: Forget what I was doing. Start over. 5:19pm: Enact wild scheme to make Uncyclopedia that much weirder. End day.

Check out these pages! Self-reference jokes alive and well! Get your Starnestommy sig space while supplies last halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp Game portal Kip the Dip unbanned From our logs: 02:49, May 7, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 213.233.101.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Fun fact #12341: Cyberbullies have a miniature penis) 11:03, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wigger" ‎ (You people make me hate my life.) 11:04, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Lee Jorde" ‎ (I mean, seriously. I have better things I could be doing than wading through cruft. But I do it anyway.) 11:06, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Handcuffs" ‎ (Book 'im Danno!) Biopic of the Week Drama ~ Considered the most controversial user on Uncyclopedia evah, Klaus Drama is going strong, getting on average 50 people banned per week. Having studied acting for 40 years and written his own Dadaist version of Hamlet (entitled "lovely jellybean"), Klaus has much experience making people nervous and uncomfortable. With his life-long boyfriend Jizz Rick (who demanded to be in the second issue of UnSignpost) Drama is conquering Uncyc one shouting match at a time. Reason to Leave Uncyc of the Week #53 Too many users leaving. Horoscope of the Week Scorpio ~ Expect gains and/or losses in business affairs this week. Oh, and tell that f**cker John that UnSignpost's registered horoscopologists told you he's the one stealing food from the employee fridge, and that if he doesn't stop, the writers of this horoscope will come to his house on Brickwood Lane and trash the damn place. Reason to Leave Alternate Universe Uncyc of the Week #97 Although the alien admins were nice at first, they're starting to lay eggs in our more important organs and eating our more favorite children. Sympathy Biopic of the Week Optimuschris ~ An American user born in mumble mumble, Optimuschris, author of HowTo:Become Stupid in 21 days, is an up-and-coming young Uncyc user, according to, like, lots of people. Whereas he was really friendly before, now, because he appeared in the UnSignpost, "OptyC" has gotten a huge ego, and refuses to "hang" with you. Feeding Trolls of the Week: "I actually made an account just to point out that you accuse ED for being "1000% Unfunny" for having a page for Chuck Norris when you have a link to your very own Chuck Norris page in the article. If you go through UC and just read a random article you probably aren't going to laugh no matter how hard the author tried (and failed, lulz). Encyclopedia Dramatica just wants to fill this goatse-challenging gap that you created with things that are actually funny, liek mudkipz. Plox 2 b nt hating us 4 bein funny kthxbai." - Uncyclopedia on its rival. Quote of the Week: "I feel like throwing myself into the goatse challenging gap we created. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" - Mordillo on the recent Goatse gap crisis

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 04:33, 11 May 2008 (UTC)

Wow! 37.5!

I, Orian57, hereby award you with this fancy crab-hat (modeled by this lovely 16 year old) as I deem you in some way exceptional, although don't take this personally, I'm not well.

Hello, thanks very much for the pee! that's made my day that has. i compleatly agree with making it a bit zanier and stretched aswell; i was just unsure of the direction to take and you've given me some pretty good ideas. as for SPeLlIng and gramer i can only apologise on behalf of microsoft word's spellchecker. it sucks. but a few people ran through it for me and seem to have corrected the mistakes. and on the image front i'm pretty useless at selecting good images, but i did think the second one was quite funny. i found it while googling "mammary sex" as i didn't know what that was until the (so called) conservatives brought it up. and - not that i mind you took so long or anything; but according to the page history you took 51 hours not 24 to get back to me with a review. maybe you should brush up on your maths a little?

also i'm genuinley flattered that you think this could even aproach VFH, thanks for that: it means i'm improving (i think).Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog| 00:31, 12 May 2008 (UTC)

Long-delayed thankings

	Err... Hey, sorry I'm, uhh, a little bit late on the thanks for this thing... I've been really, really, busy. Anyways, thanks for voting, and, with any luck, those delusional fools will let me out of this hell-hole soon.
	I'm going to burn you all!

Hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, amirite? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 00:31, May 13

Yo! It's ur n00b!

So, when are you gonna be on to teach me more of the basics, that way I don't have to waste time looking for ya. The SOAD Fan (Ryan C.) 21:38, 12 May 2008 (UTC)

I'll be on IRC tonight, probably around 7. Don't hold me to it, though. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 20:22 May 14

Of course, I probably have OA Drum Practice, then. The SOAD Fan (Ryan C.) 20:52, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

Then get on right now. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 21:07 May 14

Homework. Trigonometry. -_- The SOAD Fan (Ryan C.) 21:12, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

LOL SKOOL alright, how about for now you just get some work done on your rewrite? Read up on some other featured articles. I'll check up on your progress. Meet me at the corner of 5th and Broadway. Alpha Team, BREAK! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 21:18 May 14

Well, I got the 1st paragraph of it, if you wanna check it out. The SOAD Fan (Ryan C.) 12:37, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: May 15th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

May 15st, 2008 • Issue 2 3

The Bible Finally Catches a Break For years... or whatever... Conservapedia has attacked Uncyc for being too liberal. Today, Uncyc publicly derobes itself, and reveals its patriotic side. From now on, "Uncyclopedia" will be renamed "Falwellapedia" in honor of the late pastor, Jerry Falwell who died May 15th, 2007. Unsignpost spoke with the founder, Modusoperandi, in his isolated forest bunker. "I hate how the liberals treat us!" Modus shouted, along with his two followers. "Don't they see that when they make fun of us, the lord rolls over in his soon-to-be-resurrected grave?" The conservative propagandabot Fbooble is scheduled to "purge the site of any left-wing statements" by the end of the week, soon after it gains self-awareness and joins the Republican party. "HUMANS, CLOSE YOUR NOISE HOLES AND PAY ATTENTION!" Fbooble proclaimed at a recent press conference. "THE DEMOCRATS AND ALL THOSE OTHER LIBERALS ARE NEARING THE END." Fbooble, whose titanium wristwatch glistened in the afternoon sun, held up a copy of the Falwell Children's Bible near the conclusion of the conference and said "ALL PRAISE JEBUS, AND HIS INVINCIBLE ARMY OF DISCIPLES!" Although Fbooble is unclear on the details of religion right now, it promises to become ultraconservative when it does. Not all Uncyc users are happy with the transition. Although we could not find anyone who actually called themselves a liberal, we did manage to vandalize a hybrid just to equal the score. Unsignpost promises a lucrative year via advertising revenue for the Republican National Committee and a weekly "Republican of the Week" section. Changes by Fbooble will include replacing all swear words, such as ****** and ***********, with the word "daffodil," and deleting all articles. Shockporn deemed unworthy will be replaced with this image, and quotes not from the bible will be deleted with extreme prejudice. All non-American users, such as that one guy are to be called "fags", also with extreme prejudice. HTBFANJS Most Linked Article How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid, one of the hallmarks of Uncyclopedia, has reached the top of the heap. Mordillo, an administrator who will be the least offended when we attribute absolutely false quotes to him, recently said of the page "Finally! Although I've never read it, I hear it's full of fatherly, patronizing advice for those newbs that write those articles I'm constantly huffing!" Mhaille, who has the most linked-to userpage on Uncyc, was slightly more angry at the recent news. "I'm only in 10th place? What the f**k?" While spying on Mhaille from under his bed, the news staff heard language that no human being was ever supposed to hear. Thankfully, the staff was smashed on Listerine, and may have just made up the entire event. Mhaille commented that "No, they didn't make it up, and if they do it again they had better bring enough Listerine for everyone." The user responsible for the 36,000+ links to How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid wishes to remain anonymous, but said to our reporters through a wiretap "I just got too carried away. I wish I could take it back, but I can't, and that's no reason for threatening my family in this way! Oh jeez, I hope you get this message, Uncyclopedia. All right, I'm hanging up now, and I hope you're not angry. *BEEP*" UnSignpost Releases Second Issue May 15th, 2008: Uncyclopedia has developed an open wound... a newspaperish one. Riding high on their success, Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek have "deployed their golden parachutes" and are "planning to pack up our shit" and "get the hell out of here." Wearing his trademark solid gold sweatpants, bought with the advertising from the first and second issues of Unsignpost, Dr. Skullthumper said "It was fun, I guess, but now it's time to move on. Like a wild hyena, Unsignpost has left its mark. There are no more stories to cover: no more people to attribute fake quotes to." Cajek, munching on a shish kabob of bald eagle babies, had nothing to add except maniacal laughter as he threw thousands of dollars into the air. Unsignpost, bankrupted by the two owner's antics, is planning to make the paper a paid subscription, unless something kooky happens, in which case it won't. In addition to subscriptions, Unsignpost is having a luau at Mike's house to raise money. "Oh, it'll be soooooo exciting!" Mike said. ...You know Mike. Anyway, Mike continued, "There'll be a silent auction, and a limbo contest, and a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey! Oh! So exciting!" With the proceeds, Unsignpost hopes to add a "Week Box of the Week of the Week" section and a mascot. Maybe a shark. Protein folding: The latest in computer entertainment The editors of the UnSignpost strongly encourage the community to sign up for Uncyclopedia's Folding@Home team. Started in 2005 by rcmurphy, Codeine, Flammable, Paulgb, gwax, Mhaille, Carlb, Naughtyned, DrakeGTA, and RadicalX, the signup page has since gathered more cobwebs than new users. By joining F@H, you will get a free program that uses any extra unused CPU power to perform complicated calculations in the background. "Well that's great," you say. "So I'm helping compute protein folding, a never-before-possible situation to model on computers, and thus helping cure some of the most misunderstood diseases to strike humankind as well as advancing the knowledge of the human race into parts of science that were up until recently perceived as impossible. So what's in it for ME?!" You, yes you, will get the excitement of watching proteins fold in your very own home! "Wow!" exclaims part-time F@H user Dr. Skullthumper, "did you just see that? Did you just SEE the way that blue thing collided into that gray thing? Oh man, it was amazing! And in super-slow motion, too!" Other users have given the program similar reviews, describing it as "utterly transfixing" and "better quality entertainment than mitosis!" You, too, can join in the fun and the frenzy of the world of those wacky proteins - while saving the world!

Check out these pages! MrN makes it Over 9000 René Descartes "That's disgusting! Where can I get a copy?" Spang tries to break Wikia again; fails, settles for MediaWiki instead Jar of dirt, possession thereof That Gray Thing on the Back of Your Screen The first ever WikiBand! From our logs: 22:23, May 9, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.71.223.144 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't add crap to pages(take that as literally as you want to, btw).) 07:26, May 11, 2008 One-eyed Jack (Talk | contribs) uploaded a new version of "Image:PASex.jpg" ‎ (Pineapple-shaped sexual aid. Stoled off the Internets for higher purposes. The end justifies the means, as Stalin said.)) (Huff log); 11:39 . . Spang (Talk | contribs) (hacked up "Blood": 102 revisions restored) Biopic of the Week Under user ~ By the great Lord Harry, pippings all! Numpty numpty numpty, loo fag wut? Tea time, London, England, Britain! Aluminium, football, dustbins up the dual carriageway, chaps with bad teeth, wot wot? I write long things wit' humoUr! In short, my good numpties: Don't f**k with England. ...even though I'm actually from Idaho. Crossword of the Week Across 5. Uncyclopedia is facing a _ _ _ _ _ _ challenging gap. 12. What happens if you mess with Unsignpost's writers. 14. Uncyclopedia is _ _ _ _ ing DOOMED. 19. Dr. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is the one with the lame techie articles. That other guy is pretty cool, though. Well, the crossword thinks he's cool, anyway. Answers next week! ...maybe. Shape of the Week Octangle ~ After thousands of years of being the forgotten cousin of the triangle, and the bastard child of the rectangle and octagon, the Octangle has made a re-emergence. Appearing 20 (secret) times on the $100 bill, the Octangle is our... shape of the week! Doomsday of the Week Monday, around tea time: Uncyclopedia will suddenly shut down due to too many unfunny articles. Users will shake their heads in disgust, pity, anger, sadness, anger, defeat, pity and anger. The last article written will be Grand Theft Auto:Siberia Chuck Norris LOLLLOLOLOLLOO by User:SqueezeMeGently, and the last article featured will be Rough Gay Wolf Sex by User:TheAntiUncyc. User of the Week, not to be confused with Biopic of the Week: FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS ~ Although blocked infinitely, FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS was a boon to the community. We at User of the Week don't see any actual contributions from FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS because they were blocked infinitely, just in and/or before their prime. Which begs the question: Who is the real monster here? Certainly not FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS. ...Go quietly into the night, FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS, for we shall never forget ye. HanSolo's Weapon of the Week: ARCTIC WARFARE MAGNUM: It's a damn sniper rifle. No explanation needed. (not recommended for use on admins -ed) This Week In Uncyc, 1957 Week of May 15th, 1957: Recreated as a warning system for nuclear attacks, the megacomputer Uncyclopedia kept the Ruskies at bay. With its 5 megabyte database and kung fu grip, Uncyclopedia was a force to be reckoned with. This Week In Uncyc, 1765 Week of May 15th, 1765: The proud warship H.M.S. Uncyclopedia, christened earlier that week, began patrolling the Atlantic for Napolean's fleet. With a crew of 90, a Surface-to-Air missile battery on deck, and the world's first Lolcat, Uncyclopedia was a force to be reckoned with.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:04, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Optimuschris NP

"Every Light In The World" Beautiful man. I wish I knew who wrote it. Whoever it is, I love them! -OptyC Sucks! CUN01:40, 15 May

Yeah, I love them too. I wish I could meet him so I could sex him. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 12:02 May 15

You're sexin' him right now aren't you? AREN'T YOU? You don't love me anymore! I'm gonna go illegally download that song. You're favorite artist can STARVE for all I care you bastard! -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:44, 15 May

Fine, I'll just buy another copy of his CD and mail it to you so that he still gets the money! That's how much I love this guy! And yeah, I'm at his house right now. We're sexing. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:48 May 15

Thankies

Pyotr Kuznetsov Says: "Thank You For Voting!" Pyotr Kuznetsov would be here himself, but what with his psychiatric treatment and all, he sent Dora to convey this message. Oh wait, Dora's dead! Oh well. Anyway, thanks for voting for this!

Please accept the preceding generic template as a sign of my gratitude, SysRq. - 08:17 17 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!