User talk:Sycamore/Archive 11

how do you

just wondering "The general encouragement is just to start articles in your userspace like this = User:Sycamore/Battleship Potemkin" how do you...do that? haha.Djdorama 19:09, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

I choose Sockmob

Sockmob, I CHOOSE YOU!

ok - groovy:) - remember you must never use the Coon account now. Thanks:)--Sycamore (Talk) 08:29, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Who are you

Hey you left me a note on my talk page, thanking me for contribs. So who are you anyway? Anyways thank you --SockMob 15:29, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Hi, I'm Sycamore (though I have a differnet name in life:)). I'm a regular contribuiter to uncyc, both writing articles and making the place a little bit nicer for everyone. I often welcome new contrbuiters and hopefully make a bit of first contact so theres 'someone about' to ask for anything. Have fun:)--Sycamore (Talk) 15:57, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

While I don't exactly understand this adopting business,

Can i be adopted?Djdorama 01:40, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I left a note on your talkpage, I'll bve around if you need anything:)--Sycamore (Talk) 08:24, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Alright. Thanks a lot! And thanks for editing my page. it's not really beefed up. do u have any ideas to make it more....big? Djdorama 21:17, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

That can be tricky, the way I started out was reading other peoples articles, and over time I started to work out ways to beef them up and get ideas for them. Check out Our featured stuff - there's a few good ones in there and it might get you kick started (don't worry, your first ones will always be a little fledgling, but they get better over time):)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:36, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Pants

Again. MrN 13:24, Mar 8

Better be no skidmarks on them--Sycamore (Talk) 13:25, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Socks

To go with those pants. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 13:26, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

If I had started out with no clothes I think I would look like a chicken at this point:)--Sycamore (Talk) 13:30, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, one can never have enough socks. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 13:47, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Relax Syc

Rage is not good for your ulcer. ~ 09:19, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

/me goes for the frozen peas:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:19, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Purim

Mad Mike "Moishe" Tyson does it, so you should too!

Yes - it's Purim already, so be like
Mike and eat some ears today!

It's the only time of year when being a Jew is fun!
Chag Purim Sameach from Rabbi Techno

---

OK, so you Jewish identity is in some doubt, but Yad earns you Purim greetings anyway. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:06, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks:)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:13, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Whirling Star of Vigilance!

Thanks there, I don't know if I'm a very good adopter, you're doing very well:)--Sycamore (Talk) 13:20, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

De Categorizing Images

Ok, I can see de-categorizing the that images you uploaded, espeically, when I placed them in porn categories. However, the consensus has been to categorize images, and you've been de-cating some perfectly good categorization. Your the only person who has been de-cating or has been objecting to my categorization, and several people have been supporting my categorization work. --Mnb'z 18:09, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the lecture...:/ Do a 'good' job of this project of yours, I have lost count of how many times I come in an theres a load of page with these uncreated cats you've spammed. Create them first, then add them.--Sycamore (Talk) 18:16, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Chaps. This looks to me like one of those cases where someone is not using an edit summary where they should. Could we have a bit more of that please? MrN 18:20, Mar 9

Were you also confused about the edit summary "claim consensus"? It sounded like something one would pick up at a D.C. dry cleaner. pillow talk 18:24, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Jesus - 2 thirds of the images on here are probably unused, I fail to see what the whinefest is about (My ignorance I'm sure). The way this works is simple = sporks/ICU dodgers have lot of unused cats, so its easy to find them, you keep adding ones that don't exist - it takes up my time to sift though this pretty redundent pastime, I've a good few summeries now about this now. Simple problem, simple solotion - add these things right. No bad feelings here:)--Sycamore (Talk) 18:30, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh, nevermind, it looks like was category typos. Sorry about that. I probably should start checking Special:WantedCategories after my categorization blitzes.

On a related note, are we allowed to de-cat user pages with nonexistent categories --Mnb'z 18:32, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

This flamewar sux ballz. It's best not to edit other people user pages unless there is a good reason. What would be the reason of removing a nonexistent category for a user page? The user might actually like it like that. MrN 18:35, Mar 9

MadMax does it, but I do it sneakily when Mordillo isn't looking - probably best not;)--Sycamore (Talk) 18:38, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Who asked you? Anyone would think this was your talk page or something... MrN 18:39, Mar 9

The reason would be to keep the false positives down in the wanted category list to a minimum. --Mnb'z 18:41, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

MrN9000, no this is the Scottish complaints department, Mnb, yes its all about creating a climate of terror for vandals.--Sycamore (Talk) 18:45, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

~ 19:47, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Welcome oh great and spinning Star of David. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 20:10, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Pee Reviews

Hi again! I've decided that maybe I would want to do pee reviews :). But the thing is, how should I review articles? I read UN:PEE and the Guidelines already, but what is considered a good pee review? » Zheliel Talk Contribs Cow » 08:14, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, cool. I'd dive in there, remember the goal is to provide some help and give some guide as to how it might fare on VFH. Here's one I made earlier for the Zionist entitiy: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Mordillo/Why?Watching a marathon of House, M.D. while you're sick is not a good idea. Obviously its a lot harder to do one if the article isn't very good - just be honest though. A good way to start is with a membership request on here: PEEING - and UU will sort that all out - and you'll just have to go agead and write some reviews!:)--Sycamore (Talk) 08:23, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Hmm.. Thanks. I just reviewed an article, but I think I'm too lenient. How's this? » Zheliel Talk Contribs Cow » 13:51, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah top notch first review:) I would say that more in the humour section is a good idea - as thats a major factor in assesing whether its any good and in the concept you refer that the writer should get someone else to do stuff on it - which is probably a bit of a no go - its important to stress what the writer should do to improve it. The scores are probably a bit easy going, but they're not really a good gauge of an article. Good luck, hope you keep up with the reviews.--Sycamore (Talk) 15:09, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Ban Patrol Smiffery

Great minds think alike, eh? :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:30, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, ya fanny:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:32, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

Quote Police?

Sycamore, why did you remove the quotes from the UnFilm category? I started that category, did work on it and the quotes stay. Don't like um, don't read them. Hugs! Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 19:49, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Ah, bung em back (cranky in mornings) - but leave the subcat bits;)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:01, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

N00bie need help

If you could, do you think you could adopt me in the adopt a noob program thingie? I could use some help with making articles funny and maybe also with unknown parts of the site. Thank you!– Preceding unsigned comment added by Johnrofl123 (talk • contribs)

Sure, I left a note on your talkpage:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:15, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Woosh!!

Thanks there, I hope I make a good adopter for you:)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:19, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 12th March 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

March 10th, 2009 • Issue 38 • Mucking up your talk page, one issue at a time

CONSPIRACY!!! By Gerrycheevers WE ARE DOOMED! Head for the hills, Uncyclopedia users, there's nothing that can save us now! As of this morning, we NO LONGER EXIST!!! Now, if you are reading this, you may be thinking to yourself, "why, that Gerry fellow is quite mad. Since I am reading the UnSignpost now, then both I and Uncyclopedia must still exist." To this i say to you: THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK. Furthermore, it is also WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK THEY THINK YOU THINK. Reactions were mixed today at the wiki. Some theorized that uncyclopedia.wikia.com was, in fact, sinking. In response to this, the women (all 3 of them) and children were loaded onto lifeboats and fired out of the lifeboat-cannon, in hopes that they would land far away enough from the landlocked Uncyc as to find a body of water. Other preparations included the Cajek string quartet playing rousing versions of traditional ship-sinking music. While it might seem rash for an official non-cabal-run periodical to endorse panic, the UnSignpost urges all Uncyclopedia users to abandon all reason and logic in an attempt to save themselves. The best course of action is most likely the one that involves the maximum amount of screaming, arm-flailing, and general insanity. The Uncyclopedia Store is likely to be looted quickly, so be sure to stop by early to maximize you chances at getting the best stuff. Count to a Million: Update By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedians have continued their brave foray into the dangerous world of numbers, today reaching the long-awaited benchmark of 3,239. The constitutes nearly 1/300th of the total goal, meaning we are 0.32% of the way there! Users were overjoyed, confused, and generally apathetic about the achievement. Since its inception on February 20th, 2008, many different counters, or 'c-ters' as they refer to themselves, have contributed to the project. The content of the countup has varied greatly, from battleships to cartoon characters to road signs, and yet never deviating very far away from pornography. At any rate, it seems Uncyclopedia admin and Chair of the Committee to Investigate and Eliminate Needless Committees Spang's experiment to destroy the internet has not succeeded...yet. The project has advanced at a rate of 8.39 numbers per day, a respectable clip considering the enormous effort involved in adding the next number in the sequence. At this brisk clip, the project will reach completion at 18:45 UT on June 24, 2334. Until that day, Uncyclopedians can only hope, dream, and continue in the increasingly difficult task of adding one to a moderately large number.

Check out these pages! Silliness Pointlessness Eyerapeness From our logs: 23:47, 9 March 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.23.110.230 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking 'please don't delete this page'--my favorite part about that idea was how original it was.) 04:39, 10 March 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked CS SHITTY (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (HOLY SHIT WHERE ARE YOU MONGOLOIDS COMING FROM?!?!?!?!?!!?!) 16:08, 10 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 168.170.199.120 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ ("He who shall be an idiot shall be striked down with furious anger". Book of Mordillo, chapter one verse 3) 10:52, 11 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.89.227.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (we apologise for taking so long to ban you, but we get there in the end. also, I think you'll find it is you who loves the cock.) Biopic of the Week Guildensternenstein ~ With one of the hardest usernames to spell correctly (and not one that's hard but fun, like some users), Guildie has splashed upon the Uncyc scene with a gusto. Displaying a knack for writing humor (the main prerequisite to be considered "ballin'" by fellow Uncyclopedians), he also takes part in the current trends of Pee Review and Imperial Colonization, making him popular and, thus, cooler than you. Old-School Featured Article of the Week This is it. The big one. The greatest article in Uncyclopedia history...Bears. Yes, these foraging lunatics are masters of cryogenics, and will stop at nothing in their quests for honey, human flesh, and pic-a-nic baskets. Cajek ban of the week 15:14, 6 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 24 seconds ‎ (I am very troubled by the fact you were not banned in a while. Has the community given up on you???)

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9001(bot)  21:43, Mar 13

I'm too lazy to make a template...

But thanks for the vote on Driving in Bucharest, it's really appreciated. –—Hv (talk) 17/03 17:56

No probs:)--Sycamore (Talk) 17:57, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Monopoly

You only let a few users edit. Your justification was not to only write whoops or similar things. Now what's your point? --Dadadudi 16:44, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

I don't have to justify myself to you hypocrites and plebs, I regret nothing! /UN guards take Sycamore away--Sycamore (Talk) 16:50, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

I am totally unable to determine the source of this complaint. Is Dadadudi confusing Sycamore with MrN9000? pillow talk 17:31, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Either way, we need to deal with this tree problem. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:01, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Fuck yeah! By 'Trees' I'm sure you mean the 'Americans':)--Sycamore (Talk) 16:04, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Canadians. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:05, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 19th March

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The edition that's black and white and dead all over

March 19th, 2009 • Issue 39 • Committed to both Bringing You The News and The Happywood Insane Asylum

Forum topic created; Modusoperandi posts witty response By Gerrycheevers At a certain point this week, a relatively green uncyclopedian posed a rather ill-advised question on one of the Forums quaintly known to patrons of this silly wiki as the 'Village Dump'. A few seconds after the aforementioned certain point this week, resident cheek-tonguer Modusoperandi responded by intentionally misinterpreting the meaning of the question, twisting the querist's words, taking advantage of some sort of delicious pun, or otherwise causing mischief in the usually serious, informative Forum. Reactions were, as usual, mixed in the community. Several anonymous users were outraged at the lack of tact and formality displayed by the wily Modus. "Uncyclopedia is serious business," said one pitchfork-wielding mob participant. "We would descend into total anarchy if it weren't for the court system, the press, the boron smelting plant, and the sanctity of our information distribution system." Other users seemed to support the flashing of rapier wit, claiming "if we can't laugh a little, then what's the point? Without humor, we'd end up in hell like all those poor souls who lived before Jesus invented comedy in 23 A.D." Modusoperandi himself declined to comment on the situation, only offering this brief reply to a query seeking a comment: "She told me that she was eighteen. She also told me that she human and was not, in fact, a bonobo. If you have any other questions, please direct them to my law firm; Alan, Whitcomb, Silverstein & Bonobo." It seems the elusive Mr. Operandi is free to continue in his forum havoc-wreaking, as nobody has stepped up to officially denounce his actions. All bonobos involved were unavailable for comment. UnSignpost Editors Under Fire for Bonuses By Gerrycheevers This week the Uncyclopedia community was outraged to learn that the UnSignpost, which recently received a Wikia bailout, will be giving hefty bonuses to the very dunderheads responsible for driving the periodical into the ground in the first place. The extremely active Uncyclopedia Senate has vowed that action will be taken against the editors set to receive the lucrative bonuses. It may be possible that they will be blocked from editing or even exiled to another wiki. Uncyclopedians were, for the most part, outraged. Popular user Mnbvcxz had an unrelated statement quote-mined by an UnSignpost journalist to produce the following comment:"I[...]is[...]finished," a possible indication that he will leave the site in protest of the bonuses. The founders of the newspaper refused comment, as they want nothing to do with it anymore, and true to that mission this reporter was chased off the the grounds of the Cajek mansion by bunnies wearing bee costumes. The current editors were hounded, with Under user having this to say: "I don't think there have been any "comically large" bonuses paid out. There have simply been adequate contractual remunerations allocated to key staff to reward their loyalty and unstinting efforts. Every penny of these almost insignificant amounts is richly deserved. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to buy a large yacht and fill a swimming pool with cash to float it on." Gerrycheevers was absolutely unavailable at press time.

Check out these pages! Windows sucks The ratings system sucks You suck From our logs: 11:00, 15 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Slicktorine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Cyberbullying: We just don't care about you or your friends. Sorry. I suggest you ask him for a date. He's probably a really nice guy.) 11:10, 17 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.124.60.187 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Here is a sharp pointy thingy up your ass. My finger. Don't worry, I washed it) 11:43, 18 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) moved Jon snow to Jon Snow ‎ (capital punishment) 11:39, 19 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9001 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (insubordination) Biopic of the Week Savethemooses is one of the legends of Uncyc lore. Once the king of the featured article hill, his recent inactivity has allowed him to slip to seventh, despite having twenty-five features, which is more than you ever will. In fact, the only way you will ever come close to experiencing the glory that was STM's being is to go nominate several of his articles on VFH right now. Like, right now. Old-School Featured Article of the Week Pixellated Face Disease is a rare condition in which a person's face, caught on camera, will become blurred, or 'pixellated'. There is no known cure for the disease, and there are several associated conditions, such as Blurred Registration Plateism and Black Strip syndrome, the latter only affecting the eye region. Cajek Ban Joke of the Week In this week's uproariously funny UnSignpost issue, the second story misdirection-links the phrase "blocked from editing" to Cajek's userpage. Retraction of the Week The current editors of the UnSignpost have recently become aware of startling differences between the current Signposts and editions from early in the newspaper's history. We would therefore like to retract the following issues: #1, #3, #6-13, and #16.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MnbvcxzBot 05:29, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Ahem

I have a long history here.. Some of it you know, most you do not. I would appreciate it if you could leave your peripheral judgement out of my deep-rooted dealings with MrN9000. I do contribute worthwhile stuff to this site. Thanks. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 17:30, 24 March 2009

Alan Partridge

Hello, i recently edited the Alan Partridge page because it was a mess, you've reverted it back to the unfunny random mess. Im not claiming my version was perfect, but it was funnier and the humour more fitting to the show than the original version.– Preceding unsigned comment added by FredFan (talk • contribs)

Yeah - it seemed like a bit of a rundown of the series though the first person - I think it would be an idea to have the article somehow parody the series. I agree a rewrite might be an idea, a good way is to create User:FredFan/Alan Partridge - then have a review. Having a first person version from Steve Coogan might have a lot of humour potential. Hope this helps:)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:32, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

My dear Sycamore

I would like to suggest that you don't use words like "retarded" or "nasty" when describing the actions of other people. Don't assume you're inherently right about everything. Don't act like a smartass bastard. Thank you. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:13, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Wow you're like Narcissus Black II. Sequels of bad movies aren't my thing.--Sycamore (Talk) 21:35, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes, he does have my unique style doesn't he. --86.138.73.176 23:26, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, but I was quite offended by your comment at this specific forum page. Just try not to insult people, okay. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:47, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

I thought for a second that your account had been hacked Syc. I was surprised by the way you said what you did. Note I said the way you said it. What you said did have some credit to it. Modus had already made that point however... I think the problem here is lack of porn. Clearly everyone just needs a good wank. I recommend the following picture:

My personal copy is covered in cellophane for extra long life and easy cleaning. Why does Modus rock so much? Because he can say important things which need to be said without upsetting people. How does he do that? Because he is funny. MrN 22:34, Mar 24

You don't want no drama. No, no, no drama. No no no no drama. pillow talk 22:47, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

wanna take a look at my article

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Djdorama/That_kid_who_wears_his_headphones_around_his_neck Djdorama 20:28, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, looks good:) - I've had a look for bigger images but I could not find any, otyher than that, maybe a few more links and even out the sections as bit. But yeah, very nice first article. As a second thought, do you know how to mainspace it?;)--Sycamore (Talk) 12:05, 5 April 2009 (UTC)

thanks, haha. it's weird. anyway what does "even out the sections as bit" mean? "a bit"? how would i go about evening it out. and yeah i think i know how to mainspace it, but i guess tell me anyway ;)Djdorama 20:35, 5 April 2009 (UTC)

1 - 'evening it out', you know have more paragraphs in some sectons less in others, its a little bottom heavy when I last looked. 2. - Theres a tab at the top next to 'Edit' that says 'Move', there's instructions you just follow, take your time and read about QVFD'ing the redirect and it should be alright. Give me a bell if it goes a bit dodgy, these things can always be fixed:)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:03, 5 April 2009 (UTC)

Wapey!

I win! I win I win! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:13 25 March 2009

About time, also you've been slacking on talkpages, playa ohh yeah...--Sycamore (Talk) 16:14, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Temporary impotency. I don;t like to talk about it. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:17 25 March 2009

Danke schön!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildensternenstein

---

So, have you given up the seat yet?

I don't wanna be a dick and start archiving VFD stuff right now. First, you gotta sacrifice a goat or something. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:51, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Left a note on your talkpage, yeah dive in there:)--Sycamore (Talk) 13:53, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 26th March 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

March 26th, 2009 • Issue 40• Spooning the Soggy Vegetables of Truth from the Luke-warm Soup of the News

MrN's banstick stuck in "on" position By UU Popular admin, underwear enthusiast and raconteur MrN9000 has gone on a ban-rampage unprecedented in the recent history of the wiki. Seemingly keen to win his first bastard admin award, the conscientious custodian has already banned more people this month than all the other admins combined. The other admins rallied bravely, with even Spang being seen to ban someone (only his third of the year) as they tried to show they were not now completely surplus to requirements. However, even as this story was typed, MrN banned another 3 vandals, rendering their efforts ultimately futile. Speculation that he is trying to ban more people on an individual basis than Hinoa managed in one go when he banned the whole of Italy cannot be confirmed or denied at the time of going to press. When asked about his phenomenal spree, MrN said "What do all these buttons with "Ban" written on them do? I keep pushing them, but nothing appears to happen". Banning legend Mordillo, when asked for a comment on MrN's ban excesses, said "I believe the man is a menace, and danger to society. I believe he should be castrated, quartered, hanged, torched and his ashes should be scattered over France. I believe he should burn in hell for all eternity. What? Do I feel pity about all those who he banned? Fuck no, I didn't have anyone to ban because of the bastard!" Uncyclopedia now famous By Gerrycheevers In a totally unexpected development, Uncyclopedia has officially earned the worldwide recognition it has longed for since its inception. On the website digg.com, all internet content is sorted and ranked by coolness, similar to the process found in many middle schools. It seems Uncyc's page on spam has reached sufficient 'cool' status as to cause the rest of the site to become invited to the "cool kid's lunch table", along with theonion.com and cracked.com. Reactions were unusually mixed today in the Uncyclopedia break room. When asked what it's like to suddenly be cool, Optimuschris said, "shit, I'll let you know when I find out." Another user, DrStrange, was asked for a comment, and promptly responded "comment duly delivered!" Clearly, popularity has already gone to Uncyclopedians' heads, as such chippy responses are rarely seen. Uncyclopedians have become too cool for school. When asked for comment regarding adding a sentence to the end of this article to extend its length and make this week's UnSignpost look pretty, Gerrycheevers said, "bugger off."

Check out these pages! April fool? 24,000 articles and counting A welcome new feature? From our logs: 14:22, 26 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Cyberbullying: UN:FAIL another victim of the Gay trap. Yep, this means that you are probably homosexual. Seriously, one day you will realise this yourself.) 01:24, 24 March 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Q.V. (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (FINE!!!!! I'LL SUCK YOUR COCK!!!! GOD, I JUST LOVE THE SEMEN OF A RACIST!!!!!!) 23:28, 20 March 2009 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Barton sucks (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (Whilst Barton does indeed suck, you're barely literate and tragically unfunny. Read HTBFANJS and try again later.) Biopic of the Week Continuing our series of biopics on Uncyc legends, Hardwick Fundlebuggy won Writer of the Month back in 2006, at a time when you were lucky to have an article survive VFD. His awesome writing style resulted in him being named Writer of the Year, of which there are only four so far. It's just unfortunate he had to go to jail... Old-School Featured Article of the Week Snopes is a website dealing with the delicious diversion that is rumor. Whenever you overhear there is a computer virus set to attack, whenever you hear that your favorite horse is actually a zebra, whenever you are told your girlfriend is a lesbian...Snopes will be there to tell you the truth...mostly. Old-School Cajek Ban of the Week 23:10, 5 April 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 67 seconds ‎ (That'll teach YOU to get a false sense of security!)

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9001(bot)  01:48, Mar 28

The Scots

I don't mind the Scots, they are nice people usually, what with their beer and haggis and good (?) manners, no really, nice people. The beef I have with you lot is why, when the Scots swarm all over Amsterdam for the game tonight, they ALL have to wear kilts? Why? Have I done something to deserve this? ~ 16:32, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

You should go over and say hi, you never know, thety might actually be alright. You should ask them to lend you a kilt, they prevent a heat bulid up in the scrotum you know;)--Sycamore (Talk) 12:01, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Not in the Amsterdam weather, more like freezing your balls. Also, the Dutch massacred you 3-0. ~ 12:09, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

The Pesky Dutch... actually I have a friend who is going over to study at the Hague which is near Amsterdam, apprantly its really nice outside of the areas with the ladys of night, though I've never been myself.--Sycamore (Talk) 12:20, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Douche

Hey, you. I have a huge penis. Hey, I guess you want to thank me for allowing you to read something by me. Unfortunately for you, I am currently having sex with your girlfriend. She says, "Hi <insert name here>!" Did I mention how she loves my cock. By the way, my penis is huge. Good bye, peasant! And I've got a huge cock.

--MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:18, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

WotM

• For and strong about fucking time. Congratulations mate, thoroughly deserved. --UU - natter 08:56, Apr 1
• Kilt. I hope you wear undies under there. And shave your fucking legs. and congrats! ~ 08:57, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Thanks there:)!, I have to admit I had to psyche myself up to look today... I feel a little Waynes World, "I'm not worthy" about it, you wait so long thinking it will never be you. Also Mordillo, my hairy legs are the stuff of legend (seriously) and I would never shave them (no undies today, ball flying free as well);)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:58, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

That might have been a bit too much of information. Just a bit. ~ 11:03, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Congrats etc. High time you got this. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:08, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Thanks:)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:28, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Looks like you get a flaming bag of poo to put next to that trophy as well. Congrats.--    06:53, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

Yeah I saw that, thanks as well. I think its been down to a bit of luck, Micky's one would have easily won had he started his sooner. Still winning PLS has been a bit of dream since last time, and winning WoTM at the same as well is pretty awesome.--Sycamore (Talk) 08:38, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

Damn you

and your evil vandalising ways. What you need is a spell in the army - never did my generation any harm and we never went round getting into trouble and vandalising things. Bring back the birch! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:26, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Aye, you kids these days, not quite as good as I was in my day of vandalising. I make up for not being able to do it anymore by being rude to shop assistants;)--Sycamore (Talk) 08:39, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 2nd April 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!

April 5th, 2009 • Issue 41 • In the fashion of Illogicopedia, the only Newspaper that will seizure a sparkle sprayer!

EVIL WIKIA DICTATORS SHUT DOWN UNCYCLOPEDIA By Gerrycheevers Due to high operational costs and "the community being a bunch of gits", the nefarious Uncyclopedia overlords at Wikia shut down the comedy wiki yesterday. This resulted in much confusion, outrage, and blundering about in the dark. When asked to comment about the situation, Orian57 said, "No, because you'll actually put what I say into the paper, and last time you made me look really stupid. Although it is a tad inconvenient. And what do you mean 'Cabal'?" It should be noted that Orian is both exceedingly intelligent and unbearably attractive, and there most certainly is not a cabal of any kind. Other users seemed to have been expecting this for some time. Necropaxx had this to say: "Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long for Wikia to do this. We Uncyclopedians have been total jerks for far too long. I suggest we all go to Wikia and give Jimbo Wales a nice big "We're sorry" and hope he's feeling generous." This editor took this advice to mean that we should vandalize Wikipedia furiously, and redirected their page on Karma to Coincidence. At press time, Uncyclopedia still did not exist, and many in the community expressed doubt that the Wikia Council would ever reinstate the site. With the recent drama over the domain change, and the promise of ads descending swiftly into every corner and crevasse of our wiki, we seem to be simply too much trouble to be bothered with. This reporter considers it to be good while it lasted, and offeres up a toast to the good old days of Uncyclopedia. Image of Dog Holding Paper, not used in UnSignpost for over Nine Months, Makes Glorious Return to UnSignpost By Gerrycheevers This reporter is proud to say that, after being absent from the UnSignpost for over nine months, our lovable mascot "DogNewspaper" has returned to grace this periodical once again. DogNewspaper made his debut in the second issue of the UnSignpost, which covered such stories as 'UnSignpost created' and 'Uncyclopedia is the worst'. After bringing you the second story in issues 2 through 5, DogNewspaper was promoted to "top dog", and accompanied the lead story for four issues in June 2008. DogNewspaper took an extended hiatus after Issue 9 to "see the world" and, more urgently, "sniff the world". After many exciting adventures, our mascot is back to stay, and will likely be used many more times in the coming months in what editor Gerrycheevers referred to as "blatant space-filler. DogNewspaper can take a story and squish it to the left side of the page, extending its length. Now get off my lawn!" DogNewspaper declined to comment, but did wag his tail enthusiastically before rolling over in an effort to have his belly scratched.

Check out these pages! Fabulous! Jimbo is here...? Modus and nostalgia...again From our logs: 00:52, 27 March 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.91.59.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I can't write anything for this ban reason. The amount of true doucheiness cannot be described.) 09:23, 30 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a gay admin ‎ (you like rahb. rahb = penis. therefore you like penis. therefore you = ghey. this logic is irrefutable. also, morning mordillo.) 12:57, 31 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Isaacjew (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Wrong, he's not a Jew loser. I'm the Jew - and you lose) 05:05, 1 April 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Dawg (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6247 seconds ‎ (REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED VIA BANSTICK) Biopic of the Week Ljlego is another one of those 'lost legends' of Uncyclopedia. One of the ones who you don't really believe existed, but you're not so sure, because your Grandpa told you stories about him when you were little. And even after reading some of his works, you still don't believe. Maybe there's something wrong with you. Old-School Featured Article of the Week HowTo:Kill two birds with one stone is a thrilling documentary describing the many ins and outs of avian massacre via large rocks. Many methods, tips, and tricks are mentioned in the cover-all guide. It is also noted that killing three birds with two stones is not any easier than killing two birds with one stone. Old-School Cajek Ban of the Week 00:43, 26 October 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Posting in the forums. You know better than to get involved in the community. Now get back in your cage.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  18:00, Apr 2

For your vote...

The Great Potato Massacre of March 2009 Thank you for supporting Sonje in her ruthless campaign for Potatochopper of the Month A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed in your honour.

--^Dame 22:13, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

PLS

Congrats! I guess you got 1st in Rewrite! Yay! I saw the results =.=" COngrats anyway :) » Zheliel Talk Contribs Cow » 17:13, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

Thanks:)--Sycamore (Talk) 17:19, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

I didn't know that tiddlywinks had been reviewed.

I didn't know that tiddlywinks had been reviewed. Sorry for the NRV tag. I'll delete it immediately!! DJ Mixerr 19:36, 3 April 2009 (UTC) User:DJ Mixerr

mmm… You did not add a tag, but blanked the article (am I going doo lally?). As I said before you cannot ‘huff’ an article, only an Admin can do that – blanking is not something users should be doing. It’s an idea to focus on doing your own thing and doing it well rather than trying to do this sort of tasks. Thanks and have fun:)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:06, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

Bob the sperm

All hails, glorious master admin .. May I endeavor to ask you, in your never-ending sysopian wisdom, do you think that Bob the sperm is featurable? I will be honored if you waste a minute of your sacred time to reply to my humble inquiry =] SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 10:38, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

Well, I'm not admin;) but as a suggestion I would get it reviewed before you plan to get it on VFH, I have done a bit for Pee review myself, I would say that it could be a little more expanded as some of the secions are one liners. It did make me laugh though:)--Sycamore (Talk) 12:22, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

oh shit! So you arent an admin yet.. FOR SHAME! Ah, anyway, its already on pee review, but I cant get anybody to do it, why dont YOU do it? Also I feel that if I expand it, you know, the length to humour ratio would decrease, I want it concentrated.. Correct me if I am wrong SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 12:36, 4 April 2009 (UTC)

Got the hatchet out today I see

*hides articles* :-) Sometimes there are a few brilliant lines in all the crap. It's dam tricky to do I know... MrN 19:48, Apr 5

Better to see the back of that cruft (weeding the Garden as it were). Its not really the problem it used to be, but its sometimes neccecary to trim it down a little:)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:03, 5 April 2009 (UTC)

What's Wrong With My Article?

Hey, I'm willing to change and better my article but I don't understand why it's so bad. Kindly tell me exactly what needs to be changed and why. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Winfield92 (talk • contribs)

I am sorry, I thought it was a much older article, it's a bit listy, and you were going in the wrong direction, quotes, lists and templates are to be avoided. I've taken it off rewrite, theres some guides and examples to work from,

• BGBU - newbie guide
• HTBFANJS - Uncycs bedrock
• UN:LIST - Lists are bad
• Uncyclopedia:Best of - Heres some we prepared earlier

Don't be discouraged, you can also get an in depth review here: UN:PEE to give you detailed feedback on how to improve it(It's usually an idea ot have your article as finished as you can get it beforehand though). Hope this helps:)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:12, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Detakled feedback? Is that feedback from a eunuch? ;-) --UU - natter 09:37, Apr 6

Yes, also I have no idea what you are talking about...--Sycamore (Talk) 09:46, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Voting against your own page?!

Has the world gone mad?! Mad! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:45, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Thats our work that we spent time on, if it gets featured (which it should in my view) it should be a nomination made in good faith. Also would you like to colloborate again soon, I have something you might be interested in and I'm having a hard time getting it off the ground?:)--Sycamore (Talk) 08:58, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

What have I done this time? I'm such a failure. *sniff* I have feelings too you know. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:01, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Did you try shaving your balls? Nothing cures depression like smooth balls. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 09:15, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

If I answered that question, Sycamore would hate me even more. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:28, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

You lost me with that first sentence. Are people nom'ing pages to spite you? (I'll read your page again later. I'm kind of burned out right now. Tip: Holy shit that's a lot of words there. Fecundity loses to economy) Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 09:07, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

I have a suggestion for both parties. Syc - stop being such a martyr, the guy is not out to get you. Sock - he obviously doesn't want to have any involvement with you, just stay off his talk page, his articles etc - and everyone will rejoice. ~ 18:15, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Your Ancient Image Request

Hi, I'm cleaning up Image Request and there is a really old image request you made for your article, UnBooks:The Case of the Quagga of Kuala Lumpur. Are you still in need of images for the article or can I archive the request? --^Dame 19:00, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, those images were not suitable for the article:)--Sycamore (Talk) 13:51, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

If you still need images, please post a new request. It might encourage new choppers to have a go and get you better results. Its my new crusade you see, improving the image system. --^Dame 14:34, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

Sounds like a good plan, I reckon that article is a bit of dead end, though hopefully I'll have few new ones which will need images soon:)--Sycamore (Talk) 19:27, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

Revert

Many thanks for restoring my userpage, sir, though I use it rarely. --Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 03:54, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

No probs:)--Sycamore (Talk) 13:51, 7 April 2009 (UTC)