| Today's Featured Article
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Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.
Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)
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| On this day...
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March 1: National Grue Day
- 64000000 BC - Gruegasauri roam the plains waiting for unsuspecting tourists.
- 32 - Jesus gets eaten by a Grue. He then comes back from the dead, only to be eaten by another Grue.
- 1349 - Jack the Ripper's antique collection of Mongolian archers features in Forbes Magazine. This, according to Tony Blair, "does not compute".
- 1632 Gruel is invented by the Grues of London to morph English Orphans into Grues after long periods of eating it. This plot might have worked, since after 1692, all British Orphans disappeared.
- 1777 - The last remnants of the British army are eaten by a Grue.
- 1823 - Vin Diesel eats a Grue, and slowly morphs into one.
- 1951 - Hitler develops the concept of luring Grues into attacking foes, thus allowing him to win World War 2.
- 1985 - Landmark decision in Some v. Pestilence: Court rules a person eaten by a Grue cannot be held legally responsible for death or injury related to ingestion.
- 1987 - Danny DeVito becomes the first human - grue transplant recipient after a hunting accident involving two midgets and a circus elephant.
- 1995 - Grues destroy Constantinople, rebuild it as Istanbul.
- 1997 - Scientists develop Grue-proof armor, and promptly get eaten by Eurgs.
- 1999 - Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a grue onstage, is promptly ignored as just another geek sideshow act.
- 2001 Joe Bob manages to slay a Grue, and is seconds later crushed by a falling rock.
- 2005 - Wales defeat the Grues 11-9 in a massive Six Nations Rugby upset. Unfortunately, the Welsh side are shortly after eaten by said Grues.
- 2006 'You are likely to be eaten by a grue' fever sweeps the nation.
- 2006 A grue creates uncyclopedia account. Then eats the account.
- 2007 - Another group of scientists develop armour that is both grue-proof and eurg-proof, so the universe implodes.
- 2009 - George W. Bush declared Grues to be "weapons of mass destruction".
- 2045 - The Dominant species of the planets are Grues, humans build big oven to cool humans for the feast of the Grues.
- AD 2101 - War was beginning. CATS battles the grues for control of the earth. The legendary Build-a-grue workshop opens during this time period.
- 2147- The grues are finally defeated- only to be replaced by the eurgs who then recreate grues to balance themselves.
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| Word of the Day
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Ash Wednesday
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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| Did you know...
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- ... that male and female giraffes have been banned from living together in the New York City Zoo since 1975? (Pictured)
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does?
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