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Imagine a world in which every single person is given free access
to the sum of all human stupidity. That's what we're doing.
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| Today's Featured Article
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Jesus has always been a touchy subject. Not many people want to talk about our Lord and Savior. Some even go so far as to consider it awkward when Jesus is brought up in polite conversation. Due to this inclination to believe that Jesus kills a conversation, many people don't get to know how truly amazing the man who died for our sins really is.
Sure, we all know that Jesus was white, had long flowing hair, a perfectly trimmed beard, and a Californian complexion. That much is obvious from any photograph or painting of Jesus. But what about the smaller details about Jesus that people just ignore nowadays? Maybe if people weren't so quick to slam the door in the face of a religious scholar they would know more facts about Jesus. For instance... (Full article...)
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| On this day...
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March 1: National Grue Day
- 64000000 BC - Gruegasauri roam the plains waiting for unsuspecting tourists.
- 32 - Jesus gets eaten by a Grue. He then comes back from the dead, only to be eaten by another Grue.
- 1349 - Jack the Ripper's antique collection of Mongolian archers features in Forbes Magazine. This, according to Tony Blair, "does not compute".
- 1632 Gruel is invented by the Grues of London to morph English Orphans into Grues after long periods of eating it. This plot might have worked, since after 1692, all British Orphans disappeared.
- 1777 - The last remnants of the British army are eaten by a Grue.
- 1823 - Vin Diesel eats a Grue, and slowly morphs into one.
- 1951 - Hitler develops the concept of luring Grues into attacking foes, thus allowing him to win World War 2.
- 1985 - Landmark decision in Some v. Pestilence: Court rules a person eaten by a Grue cannot be held legally responsible for death or injury related to ingestion.
- 1987 - Danny DeVito becomes the first human - grue transplant recipient after a hunting accident involving two midgets and a circus elephant.
- 1995 - Grues destroy Constantinople, rebuild it as Istanbul.
- 1997 - Scientists develop Grue-proof armor, and promptly get eaten by Eurgs.
- 1999 - Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a grue onstage, is promptly ignored as just another geek sideshow act.
- 2001 Joe Bob manages to slay a Grue, and is seconds later crushed by a falling rock.
- 2005 - Wales defeat the Grues 11-9 in a massive Six Nations Rugby upset. Unfortunately, the Welsh side are shortly after eaten by said Grues.
- 2006 'You are likely to be eaten by a grue' fever sweeps the nation.
- 2006 A grue creates uncyclopedia account. Then eats the account.
- 2007 - Another group of scientists develop armour that is both grue-proof and eurg-proof, so the universe implodes.
- 2009 - George W. Bush declared Grues to be "weapons of mass destruction".
- 2045 - The Dominant species of the planets are Grues, humans build big oven to cool humans for the feast of the Grues.
- AD 2101 - War was beginning. CATS battles the grues for control of the earth. The legendary Build-a-grue workshop opens during this time period.
- 2147- The grues are finally defeated- only to be replaced by the eurgs who then recreate grues to balance themselves.
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| Word of the Day
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Ash Wednesday
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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| Did you know...
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 - ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ... that you actually didn't know?
- ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
- ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
- ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
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