Boxing Kangaroos
Boxing Kangaroos are creatures which strike fear through any well educated brave heart. Therefore in America's case it really only affects about 2% of the population. The Boxing Kangaroo is an elusive beast living mainly in the mythical 'Os-Try-Lya'-land, or 'Mini-England' as it's known to Europe. Their diet mainly consists of dust and tourists, but occasionally they eat their own back legs, replacing them with whatever is at hand. Generally dust.
History[edit | edit source]
According to ancient Ming legend, the great master Lendof visited Australia on a passing to the Planet Saturn to teach the Kangaroos how to fight. He got caught up with the Kangaroos, now called Boxing Kangaroos, and taught them many things including how to put fear into someones heart using your fist. After his visit as a souvenir he bought Uluru off the local people called the Abonigidals and renamed it "Air's Rock". It is still a sacred site to the local Boxing Kangaroo population.
Appearance[edit | edit source]
The Boxing Kangaroo has been portrayed at many sporting events as a patriot of Australia, the red gloves and determined look trying to win anything from the ashes to the football. This idea of the Australian animal is just so wrong. Boxing kangaroos are born with blue gloves, but years of surgery to the general torso areas of their victims (using their fists) change that quickly. They are giant 6 foot tall furry creatures kind of like a mix between Dinosaurs, Birds and Elton John. They can't sing so they have about the same vocal range as Elton John too. Not much else is known about these elusive beasts, as generally scientists studying them are killed in the aforementioned surgery procedure. The Elton John facts were simply discovered because some Japanese tourists stumbled upon a kangaroo karaoke night, and were allowed to live because they knew all the great ToykoPop hits.
Location[edit | edit source]
Generally located in the deeply folk-lored blue Centre of Australia, but they also occasionally habitat the blue Slightly Left Of Centre regions of Australia, and a sparse population in the Red Outskirts. Never actually try to find a Boxing Kangaroo, because they will punch you so hard that time will reverse itself and you will only be 2 months old.
Catching a Killer Kangaroo[edit | edit source]
You're joking right?
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Cousin of the wilderbeest
- In mythology, the Killer Kangaroo is the grandfather of Oscar Wilde
- Cousin of the wilderbeest
- Some times spelt 'Boxing Kangarro', but that's just wrong.
- There are 64 squares of a chessboard
- Unicorns are in fact actually also cousins of the wilderbeest
- Cousin of the wilderbeest
See also[edit | edit source]
