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Congratulations! If you are reading this manual that means that you have purchased your very own Uncyclopedia. Inside this manual you will find all the information you require to set up and start running your Uncyclopedia, maintain the Uncyclopedia over time, and overcome common problems.

Each Uncyclopedia is a state-of-the-art comedy-centric website designed by highly paid developers at the Uncyclomedia Foundation to ask the question "What is funny?" As of this writing no Uncyclopedia has ever answered the question.

First remove your Uncyclopedia from the box. Handle with care! Your Uncyclopedia is young and will at first be disoriented by the change in environment. You will need to prepare a cool dry place for your Uncyclopedia to live. Uncyclopedias have been known to quickly adapt to a variety of different climates over time, but while yours is young you should closely monitor its reactions to heat and cold.

Uncyclopedias require a diet of raw potatoes and alcohol. A growing Uncyclopedia requires 15 meals a day so be sure to have plenty of potatoes and alcohol on hand. On special occasions you should feed your Uncyclopedia high-grade narcotics, you will be glad you did. Feed your Uncyclopedia often. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Vladimir Putin's warm and paternal gaze can cure cancer?

... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?
... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?

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In the news [edit]

Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States

The Kremlin: Vladimir Putin "totally didn't participate in a Pride parade, nothing to see here.."
Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit
Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy
Michael Jackson comes back to life
Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh
Switzerland wins Eurovision
- Netherlands disqualified in final shocker
YouTube is dead
D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict
Recent deaths: Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton · The NBA logo guy
Upcoming deaths: Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity

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On this day [edit]

I vow to thee my country all Earthly things above...

June 20: Have a Nice Day

1877 - Alexander Graham Bell installs the world's first telephone service. First order of business is to invent the phone sex hotline.
1893 - Lizzie Borden is acquitted for the murders of her father and stepmother, after brandishing an axe at the judge, jury and the prosecution.
1959 - A rare hurricane strikes Canada's Gulf of St. Lawrence, destroying vast Sasquatch habitat in Nova Scotia and postponing National Curling Championships.
1963 - The U.S. and the Soviet Union create an emergency "red telephone" hotline so leaders of both countries can talk about their day and ask about the weather.
1973 - Argentina dictator Juan Perón orders the killing of 50,000 civilians who call the Malvinas the Falkland Islands.
1994 - The British finally land on the Moon, mission nearly aborted when tea kettle briefly malfunctions. (Pictured)

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Picture of the day

Once the pharmaceutical companies had porked the porcine strain with mother's classic formula, the only epidemic plaguing the world was terrible, terrible puns.

Image credit: Lemsip for providing the original and me for editing as well as coral for letting me edit it.
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Other areas of Uncyclopedia

How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
Formatting – for help on editing
Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
Community portal – for general community shenanigans

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary
Best left unsaid
UnTunes
Noisy things
UnGames
Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable
Useless misquotes
Uncycloversity
No student loans
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant
UnScripts
We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
UnReviews
Hack frauds
UnVoyage
Armchair travel
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,713 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.