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From today's featured article 

Cartoon Guy Looking For Money In His Empty Wallet.svg

You, <insert name here> (???? – 2025) used to have a good credit score, but now you are in debt.

Debt Debt Debt.

No loaning or spending. Because you can't. You are in debt.

You at least want some questions answered?
You'd probably be better off just getting used to keeping quiet, debt boy.

And that also goes for the smart bitch right there that just said "I'm not a boy". You're in debt too. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Malcolmx.jpg
  • ... that Malcom X absolutely loved Kentucky Fried Chicken? (Pictured)
  • ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
  • ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
  • ... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
  • ... that you just lost the Game?
  • ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
  • ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?

In the news 

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Those poor bastards.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh SteelersGiants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick MangoldJamaicaDonna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy CliffWarner Bros.

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard

On this day 

No bell for you!

December 10: Nobel Prize Awards Day

Picture of the day

Fox News
Fox News: Your number one news source for all things foxy.

Image credit: Olipro's idea, Lyrithya's implementation
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,058 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.