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From today's featured article 

Gaydogpride.jpg

My dog, Buddy, is the worst. He's just terrible. Don't vote for my dog! Don't vote for this article. It shouldn't be featured on any encyclopedia. It doesn't align with our website's values. I'll explain everything...

Reasons not to vote for Buddy:

  1. He's gay.
  2. He's a yeast infected cunt.
  3. He hates America.

I don't make these kinds of remarks lightly. I have both edited enhanced photos and logic to back up my statements. I'm not saying any of the above things are bad. They aren't in an of themselves. It's just he is the most extreme radical version of all of these things and this article, under no circumstances should be featured because of it. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Don Adams.jpg
  • ... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)
  • ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
  • ... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?
  • ... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
  • ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?

In the news 

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SIX SEVEN!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick MangoldJamaicaDonna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy Cliff

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7"

On this day 

Contrary to popular belief, Sherlock Holmes was not, in fact, a Silhouette.

December 1: Sherlock Holmes Day

  • 2 - Advent calendars invented. In pre-chocolate Eurasia, children open doors to reveal grains of sand.
  • 1887 - Sherlock Holmes appears for the first time in a dazzling sheer white silk tafetta evening gown, creating an instant sensation throughout the Victorian world.
  • 1891 - Holmes is killed by Professor Moriarty, brought back three years later in "Arthur Conan Doyle Needs Money."
  • 1897 - Holmes disappears over Switzerland's Reichenbach Falls, only to reappear three years later on the northern shoals of Lake Lugano as a giant squid.

Picture of the day

St. Stephen the Martyr
St. Stephen the ProtoMartyr, the first adherant of the Christian faith to be martyred.

According to the New Testament Acts of the Apostles, Stephen attached sixteen sticks of dynamite to his chest, detonating them in a crowded market in Jerusalem, killing 32 Zionists and 2 Great Satans, and wounding dozens more. Stephen is venerated as a Saint by the Catholic Church, and in many countries St. Stephen's Day is a publicly recognized holiday.

St. Stephen is depicted here in a 12th century Orthodox icon. The grenade in his hand is probably anachronistic.

Image credit: Isra1337
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