Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 4

July 4: Carelessly Mishandle Illegal Fireworks Day (U.S.)

• 1776 - King George III receives a letter from the colonies; throws it out thinking that it's yet another pre-approved credit card offer.
• 1862 - Abraham Lincoln proclaims an end to the American Civil War. He waits a moment, then yells "Psych!"
• 1917 - American troops in Flanders attempt to recreate the famous Christmas Truce of 1914 by holding a 4th of July BBQ in No Man's Land. German troops suffocate to death from the smell of black pepper.
• 1944 - American troops blow up Normandy, decreasing the size of France.
• 1969 - Birth of Will Smith. The world rejoices. Warring forces in Vietnam, Czechoslovakia and Detroit lay down their arms, and join together in ushering in the new Golden Age of Mankind.
• 1984 - Chinese agents smuggle fireworks into U.S. as part of an effort to blow up American fingers.
• 1996 - Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum save the world by infecting the giant alien mothership with a computer virus written on an Apple PowerBook.

« June

July

August »

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10
• 11
• 12
• 13
• 14
• 15
• 16
• 17
• 18
• 19
• 20
• 21
• 22
• 23
• 24
• 25
• 26
• 27
• 28
• 29
• 30
• 31