Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 23
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July 23: Promptly Shoot Everyone Day
- 1914 – Archduke Franz Ferdinand, his wife, and his moustache are shot and killed while travelling to market in an open buggy, triggering World War I.
- 1942 – Promptly Shoot Everyone Day receives a tremendous boost with the opening of the Treblinka Concentration Camp. Up to six million take part.
- 1963 – Lee Harvey Oswald (pictured) is assassinated in the Texas Book Depository in Dallas. His alleged assassin is promptly shot, creating a firestorm of controversy and insane conspiracy theories printed on poorly xeroxed fliers.
- 1965 – Malcolm X gives a speech in New York City, decrying the racist motivations behind Promptly Shoot Everyone Day. He is promptly shot and replaced by Malcolm XI.
- 1973 – Bob Marley promptly shoots the sheriff, but he swears he did not shoot the deputy, or at least he did not shoot the deputy in a timely manner.
- 1986 – Britain's Prince Andrew marries Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. He then promptly shoots her in the face.
- 1982 – Sasuke Uchiha is born and then shot ... promptly.
- 2005 – Egypt attempts to expand the festival by introducing Promptly Blow Everyone Up Day, leaving 88 dead. Branded "a wild success" by President.
- 2007 – An aspiring pornography actor adopts the moniker "Promptly Shot", but he isn't hired for some reason.
- 2009 – I shot you ... promptly.
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