Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 16

July 16: International Turning Japanese Day (United States)

• 1812 – Niels Bohr laid out the first Table of the Elements, containing less than half of the elements known today, but including most of the important ones such as Linoleum and Kryptonite.
• 1862 – American Civil War: David Farragut becomes the first United States Navy rear admiral, becoming the butt end of 'rear admiral' jokes for decades.
• 1945 – The Age of Large, Mutated Reptiles begins (pictured) when the United States successfully detonates a nuclear weapon, unleashing gigantic horrors upon the world (mostly Japan).
• 1972 – The Time Cubicle Theory is first developed. The lead theorist was certainly not on any sort of brutally mind-bending narcotics.
• 1994 – Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 collides with Jupiter and is sentenced to twenty space-years of probation for reckless endangerment and orbiting without a license.
• 2002 – Stephen Hawkins' dissertation on Modern Advances in Mathematical Theory suitably impresses the brunette in the fifth row, and they both retire to the library for a cozy study session and a quick bout of intercourse.

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