Protected page

Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
195 active editors • 41,143 articles in English

From today's featured article 

Holmium schlock 01.png

Let's get one thing straight, my dear Wats-onium.

(Puffs cigar).

When you're talking magnetism, you're talking about me. I've got the highest magnetic moment of ANY naturally occurring element. You could call it a magnetic personality. I pull the facts right out of the air. Things are just drawn to me. Like you, and don't deny it. It's a gift, from me to you.

(Gestures to empty seat in front of desk)

In my pure, elemental form, I'm a bright, silvery character. Soft enough to be cut with a knife, IF you can get close enough. But I don't stay pristine for long.

(Coughs).

The streets of this world, this city, the damp air, they tarnish me, give me a yellowish oxide coat.

(Coughs again).

It adds character, and everyone loves character.

(Throws down cigar and picks up pipe). (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Peter Griffin.jpg
  • ... that in Rhode Island any marriage where either of the party is an idiot and/or lunatic is considered null & void? And therefore, almost everyone in the state is, technically, a bastard? (Pictured)
  • ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
  • ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
  • ... that Earth is the best planet in the world?
  • ... that this sentence is incomple
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?

In the news 

1225.gif
Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement • Bills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker • Nanny state officials breaching people's right to privacy via enforcing social media bans and digital ID on their respective countries under the pretext of "think of the children!"

Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions' and Indianapolis Colts' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once again • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix •

On this day 

#Relatable

January 1: Break Half Your New Year's Resolutions Day


Picture of the day

Big Snail
 Yet another instance of the deplorable, ferocious blood feud between the French and their mortal enemies.

Image credit: Kaizer the Bjorn
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,143 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Main_Page&oldid=6506753"