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From today's featured article
Albert Arnold "Al" Gore, Jr. (allegedly born March 31, 1948) is purported to be a prominent liberal spokesperson for and inventor of global warming and environmentalism. He is portrayed by the liberal media as an author, a businessperson, former journalist, inventor of the algorithm, and recipient of a scientific prize.
According to Wikipedia, Gore has served as United States Vice President, Senator, and Representative, and has also served as a military journalist during the Vietnam War. However, despite efforts by the liberal media to prove otherwise, there is no completely irrefutable evidence that Al Gore exists. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that President Hoover (Pictured) was an actual hoover?
- ... that Joe Biden stepped in dog shit?
- ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
- ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
- ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
- ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
In the news
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured)
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy by enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files
Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and other Iranian leaders
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Smiling Friends
On this day
March 5: Jump to the Beat of the Party Line Day (Turkey)
- 1914 - Preparations for the wildest party known to mankind are well on their way
- 1947 - The wildest party known to mankind begins today, death tolls are still rising.
- 1991 - Emperor George Bush, Sr. takes over all of the Americas, except Hawaii.
- 1999 - The party almost stops over fear of the Y2K Bug. Then someone gets a fly swatter. Party continues.
- 2006 - Party nearly ends due to sudden Bird Flu epidemic. Ends with Bird Flu being deported to Britain and the death of Big Bird. Party Continues.
- 2008 - Aliens invade the Eastern Seaboard, destroying the cities of New York and Washington, D.C., party suspended until Will Smith blows up their mothership.
- 2148 - End of the World, the Turks party in Heaven, with Allah, Buddha and Jesus.
Picture of the day
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The revised logo for the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa has been designed to incorporate the host nation's actual national sport... Image credit: Sonje |
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