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From today's featured article 

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Donald Fauntleroy Duck, also known in the underground adult film scene as Dinald Dick, is one of history's most polarising figures: a beloved, world-renowned slapstick comedian and actor, a World War II veteran, a war criminal and a turncoat, whose life has been defined by rage, betrayal, a perplexing lack of undergarments and an erratic temperament that resulted in a notorious Nuremberg trial acquittal, largely since none of the judges could decipher one word of his prima donna-esque testimony.

Declassified intelligence files indicate that Duck's true wartime activities remain shrouded in secrecy, stirring up speculation that his impact on twentieth century history had more to it than his corporate handlers at Disney would have ever admitted. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... if you are right brained or left brained? (Pictured)
  • ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
  • ... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
  • ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
  • ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
  • ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
  • ... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?
  • ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?

In the news 

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Those poor bastards.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh SteelersGiants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick MangoldJamaicaDonna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy CliffWarner Bros.

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard

On this day 

LIFE® is a trademark of the Quaker Oats Company: Fake Quakers, Real Oats!™

December 5: Unwanted Advertising Day (U.S.)

Picture of the day

Whoop-Ass of Mass Destruction
Although Whoop-Ass is a commonly available weapon (with 12 oz versions legally available to the public) if ever war should break out, the US has 55 gallon drums at their disposal. A single barrel could wipe out the entirety of Cuba. Distributed by Chuck Norris on a regular basis.

Image credit: Splaka
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,045 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.