Protected page

Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
180 active editors • 40,974 articles in English

From today's featured article 

JesusWveth.jpg

Jesus has always been a touchy subject. Not many people want to talk about our Lord and Savior. Some even go so far as to consider it awkward when Jesus is brought up in polite conversation. Due to this inclination to believe that Jesus kills a conversation, many people don't get to know how truly amazing the man who died for our sins really is.

Sure, we all know that Jesus was white, had long flowing hair, a perfectly trimmed beard, and a Californian complexion. That much is obvious from any photograph or painting of Jesus. But what about the smaller details about Jesus that people just ignore nowadays? Maybe if people weren't so quick to slam the door in the face of a religious scholar they would know more facts about Jesus. For instance... (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Gadams.jpg
  • ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
  • ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
  • ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
  • ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?

In the news 

Iran hits Tel Aviv.jpg

On this day 

Death by nut

March 19: Peanut Allergy Awareness Day (U.S.)

  • 1649 - Bengal Death cultists breed a strain of peanut that is fatal to a tiny percentage of the population, for they believe the souls of those who die by the peanut are raised again to fight for their goddess Kali.
  • 1877 - The first child to die of a peanut allergy is called a giant pussy by teachers and school staff instead of getting medical attention.
  • 1931 - Gambling is legalized in Nevada, first casino game is like Russian Roulette, except the gun shoots peanut powder, and rat poison.
  • 1962 - Bob Dylan releases his first album, Nutmeg. The cover actually smells like peanuts and not nutmeg.
  • 1994 - Congress passes the Allergy Awareness Act, which legally puts the onus of responsibility on You to cater to everyone's allergy problems. Sort your fridge asshole.
  • 2008 - Vince from Slap Chop accidentally gets his testicles trapped in the butterfly mechanism of his Slap Chop.
  • 2018 - Parents protest animated movie Peter Rabbit after the titular character chokeslams the allergic antagonist into an industrial vat of peanut butter.

Picture of the day

Trump In Peach.png
 Trump in peach, after getting in peached.

Image credit: User:DoctorJones
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,974 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Main_Page&oldid=6560362"