User talk:Sycamore/Talkarchive3

Rape!

Rape rape reap! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 19:52 25 July 2008

Just bring her back before ten - anything else I don't want to know about:)--Sycamore (Talk) 19:54, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Her? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 19:56 25 July 2008

My talk page, I call her Esmeralda--Sycamore (Talk) 19:58, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Oh... that's not weird. yeah well I'm sorry about the whole "reap" thing. She looked like a man. My mistake. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:01 25 July 2008

Yeah I just thought that up;)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:02, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

What you get rid of the picure for? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:08 25 July 2008

Its looks kinda messy, mabye when some more Jihadists add some lengthy posts (See archive 2) I'll put it back--Sycamore (Talk) 20:10, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

I was just replying to that guy but you archived! It was such a good point making rant as well. Euch. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:13 25 July 2008

It's probably better to ignore that sort of thing, Sannse resolved the issuie, and I don't really want to flare up any trouble.--Sycamore (Talk) 20:15, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Yeah I know but it was 3000 char long and took me ages. Oh well. Like you say probably for the best. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:18 25 July 2008

Its often dodgy if your just a user on the site, on the same note the site is not a political/religious forum - I don't like it coming up as it makes me feel a bit awkward, I didn't like any of that stuff--Sycamore (Talk) 20:20, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Tony and Ludo thank you!

Splendid, what! UU would like to express his gratitude for you vote on UnMysteries:A Tissue Of Lies. Therefore, please accept a free gift of Sir John Obvious-Suspect's latest innovation - Sudoku toilet paper, for those mornings when you know you're gonna be in there ages!

I honestly thought that any of my own stuff I loved that much would never make it, so thanks for proving something-or-other to me. --UU - natter 08:35, Jul 28

No problem, thats a really tidy article;)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:18, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Splendid

A splendido review of Bank Holiday - only point I was a bit meh about was the criticism of the interview: I put this in for variety, and I actually think its the funniest part of the article - showing how even his interviewer seems to be not interested in the film (and keen to distance himself from the director!). I'm not sure if it will be a feature to be honest, but I'd like to get a better score for it, I must admit. --Knucmo2 23:46, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

I'm glad that my review helped out. It's a good article, I would not take scoring from me too seriously though;)--Sycamore (Talk) 09:26, 30 July 2008 (UTC)

One thing I might ask is, in a week's time, if you could have a brief glance over it again, and see if you think its improved or not - just leave a small paragraph on my talk page (hopefully with some words in it). For that I would be grateful, as I'd know if I'm working along the right lines. --Knucmo2 21:29, 30 July 2008 (UTC)

Of course:)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:31, 30 July 2008 (UTC)

Jaffa Cakes

Hi Sycamore, thanks for the welcome and the Jaffa Cakes, very kind! Best wishes, Educated Guest 16:49, 30 July 2008 (UTC)

Oh thanks, come round anytime;)--Sycamore (Talk) 16:50, 30 July 2008 (UTC)

User Boxes

Can someone tell me how to get rid of the text next to userboxes please.--Altair 22:39, 30 July 2008 (UTC)

Never mind, i found out how by myself, still, thank you for the welcome and the cakes.--Altair 23:18, 30 July 2008 (UTC)

Thank you for the advice on the userboxes and i hope you get the award--Altair 14:43, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Thanks there, I hope it helps tidy things up:)--Sycamore (Talk) 16:11, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Userboxes

Can you please tell me how to make a custom userbox for my user page?--Altair 19:31, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

I saw the template on the general userbox list but didn't know how to insert a picture.--Altair 19:50, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

The best way is create a new one is to steal the code form one of the exiting userboxes Like this:

<div style="float:left; clear:left> {|cellspacing="0" style="width: 240px; background: #FFFFBB; border: 1px solid #AA8822" | style="width:45px;height:45px;background:white;text-align:center;font-size:11pt" | <span class="plainlinks">[[Image:Guitar-22px.jpg|22px]]</span> | style="font-size:8pt;padding:4pt;line-height:1.25em" | This user plays '''[[guitar|guitar]]''' because it attracts more '''[[women|groupies]]''', and gets more solos than the '''[[bassist|bass]]'''. |}

The result looks like this:

This user plays guitar, because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.

If you take out the Nowiki bits and chnege the fields and image you shoud be able o have one thats similar to the others:)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:46, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Thanks again for the advice, i wanted to leave my own legacy on the site. Out of curiosity, how many people have you chased around with blue genitalia and a spear? Anyway thanks again for the help.--Altair 22:16, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Re:Userbox

I followed your advice on making the userbox, but ended up with the thumbnail all messed up on. Check out my user page and see how it is now, and what i'm going for. Could you show me how to make it so that the picture fit in right with the text box, or even just edit it on my user page? I wanted the picture to be like User over 9000 in size and proportions. If you could help out, i would really appreciate it and i promise to stop bothering you for stupid stuff like this until i am become the ruler of uncylopedia.--Altair 00:16, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

You did alright, you just added a little too much in the image set up: [[Image:Sycamore|Thumb|right|250px|caption|somthing]]: this will create an image suitable for an article with frame and a caption, however for a user box the px needs to be very low and and not have any alignment (left/right) or thumb. It should be done like this: [[Image:Sycamore|60px]]. Hope this helps:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:25, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

I secretly hate scotland, but don't tell anyone least of all that S... Oh hello!

	Thank you, Sycamore, for voting Orian57 your Reviewer of the Month. However the egotistical beast that you have now unleashed is not grateful and meagrely expected the vote but would like to give you a condescending pat on the head. Good girl/boy
	Thanks for voting!

That's about it, I know I didn't vote for you back but It'll certainly be a close call between you and Hype. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 09:04 1 August 2008

You've been doing great on the reviews, I hope you keep it up and well done!:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:26, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Altair's article

Thanks alot for telling me what i did wrong and all the other stuff i've asked for. And, like i said, from now on i'll try not to bother you about stuff you probably don't too much about anyway.--Altair 17:55, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

It was no problem, and you can come around anytime, it does not bother me:)--Sycamore (Talk) 18:43, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Guess what, i'm not asking for advice this time. Just wanted your opinion on an article i'm still writing. You can view it Hemophilia. Also, What do i have to do to my article to get rid of that notice that says it will be deleted in 7 days: just expand some of the sections or what? Oh, and i did vote for you for Reviewer for the month, sorry you didn't win. Please respond on my talkpage whenever you got the time.--Altair 00:06, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for checking out my page on hemophilia. i'll do what you said and move it to my userpage.--Altair 15:53, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

Cool--Sycamore (Talk) 15:53, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

Your reviews

The only time i saw a review was on a friend's computer and i did not know how he viewed them. Would you please tell me.--Altair 21:37, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

Content Boxes

Could you tell me how to put the content box in an article. BTW, how do you like my sig.-- Altair-the Eagle (talk to me) 00:31, 3 August 2008 (UTC)

For Pee review, you go here: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review when your article is reviewed it will be in the complete secton linked to at the top of the page (or here, Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Reviewed Pee). I think you mean infoboxes and the ones that are used are all kept here: Infoboxes. Your sig looks alright and none of the code is spilling over, so well done. My first ones made a right mess:)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:08, 3 August 2008 (UTC)

Hemophilia

Well i did use a template and it did take me fifteen minutes. I wanted to know if you could take another look at my article( imoved it back to mainspace) and tell me what else i could do with it. Also, will the sign at the beginning of the page go away by itself, do i need to contact an admin about it, or something like that. If you could, i would really apreciate it. Also, thanks for getting rid of some of my red links on my page before it got a warning, I've doing that so much on Things to do that i forgot to do that on my own page. If you get chance to check it out, please reply on my talk page.-- Altair-the Eagle (talk to me) 20:41, 3 August 2008 (UTC)

The best I can advise is to add this: {{PeeReview}} to your article and submit it to Pee review. you're likely to get tips on how to improve it to the extent where you can remove the construction tag without the article being put up for deletion. For my opinion I would say that it looks alright and it's getting there and it looks to be a very decent first article.--Sycamore (Talk) 21:04, 3 August 2008 (UTC)

O.K. i'll do that. I still got a couple of things to do on it and then i'll put it up for review.-- Altair-the Eagle (talk to me) 23:08, 3 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now with 20% more ninjas!

July 31^st, 2008 • Lucky Thirteenth Issue • Now with 20% more ninjas!

The biggest little whorehouse on the internet By Gerrycheevers Oftentimes, Uncyclopedians choose to create something on their userpages, safe from the prying eyes and hungry 'delete' buttons of admins. These entities can range from the ridiculously complex to the awesomely cartoonish. The newest user creation on this silly wiki is that of a charming gentle-bot by the name of MrN9000. At 'The Whorehouse', writers can bathe in the attention they so desperately seek. A sort of hands-on Pee Review, the Whorehouse encourages other users to edit, trim, improve, rub up against, and generally increase the quality of the articles of others. Authors suffering from mental blocks (or physical blocks) can turn to this dimly lit establishment for inspiration. While considered a 'smashing' idea by some, the brothel has drawn its share of criticism. It may have even caused a site-wide questioning of the rules of VFH, guidelines of Pee Review, and the vailidity of the Committee That Selects Zombiebaron's Daily Banstick. The main concern seems to be articles getting 'mucked up' by having too many contributors. Opponents to this opinion have pointed out that this is a wiki, and, in theory, an infinite number of contributors contributing to an infinite number of articles for an infinite amount of time were eventually destined to create the Whorehouse, anyway. Some users, such as Ljlego, have taken advantage of the open space to hold some sort of charity-scamming orgy. Whatever the destiny of the Whorehouse, it is sure to catch every Uncyclopedian's attention for at the least five minutes immediately following the reading of this article. Virus exposes user vulnerability to death By Regret Tenenbaum Yes, it's true. Death is inevitable for all users who have logged in recently. Apparently, a rouge admin created a computer virus so potent you actually contract testicular cancer. Real cancer. Like, In real life. Seriously. And how does one contract the virus? Users are warned that that the simple act of logging in to Uncyclopedia will cause one to contract the fatal disease. "Yes, I know cancer isn't a disease nor a virus" said one doctor "but still, it sucks. I mean - it's cancer - IN YOUR BALLS. Come on." So how exactly does on know when they have cancer? Symptoms may include one or more of the following: a lump in one testis or a hardening of one of the testicles The testicle should normally feel smooth to the touch. Ridges may be felt because of enlarged blood vessels or tumor growth. Additionally the entire testicle may feel hard and bumpy to the touch. Abnormal sensitivity (either numbness or pain) loss of sexual activity sexual withdrawal build-up of fluid in the scrotum a dull ache in the lower abdomen or groin an increase, or significant decrease, in the size of one testis blood in semen General weak and tired feeling The testicle with a tumor may be severely enlarged, as much as 3 times the original size. Simultaneously the other testicle may be shrunken in size, due to the tumor taking up the majority of the blood supply to the scrotum. Other nasty stuff. Make sure to constantly check your testicles by feeling them for irregularities with your fingers. ... That's right. ... Just feel 'em up ... nice ... Ahem! Uh... Simple vigilance is a big help. The best time to check is after a hot shower, when the scrotum is looser. And what of the female users? No, not even the three of them are safe. It has been proven that even female users can contract testicular cancer. How, you ask? Well, by a miracle of God, the female will grow testicles, that will then become "cancerfied" (or "cancer-ific", if you prefer.) The only users who are safe from this horrible plague are IP addresses, as they lack testes and the ability to grow any. Remember kids, no matter how much Dr. Health, Esq. tells you cancer is great, don't believe him. Oh? ... What's that? ... I said something about dying? ... Oh. ... Well, if one of your testicles was three times bigger than the other and your semen was filled with blood, would you not kill yourself? That's right...

Check out these pages! Ever get interrupted on the loo? Is PEEING taking the piss? Drama! From our logs: 21:17, 23 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.88.33.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Try to suck less. You're sucking too much. I didn't say "stop"! Take your time. Yeah, that's the stuff. Now gently squeeze my balls.) 17:24, 24 July 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) (blocked SIR TOM CRUISE! with an expiry time of 3 months (no dear, Baha'i is the Truth, or Judaism, I can never remember) 02:34, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Dammit, stop being a sockpuppet!) 14:41, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) unblocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Oh, I bet you think you're all crafty n' shit, don'tcha? DON'TCHA! Well guess what: I can see through your ruse now, you sockpuppet-impersonating iIdunnowhat!) 21:04, 29 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.196.62.163 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wanker: Take a day off. Take some deep breaths. It's only France) Biopic of the Week The Woodburninator ~ What should thou doest upon sighting The Woodburninator? Run away, apparently. Unless you're looking to read some high quality articles. Last month's NotM has made quite an impression on Uncyclopedia in his short time here, despite claims that he is about as useful as the 5-star rating system. Don't be fooled! WB is on track to contribute far more than the ratings system (especially since the average UnSignpost rating is about 1.2), and then some. Just don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage... Old-school featured article of the week Check out Moon hoax. Ever been told by one of your know-it all friends that we never landed on the moon, and it was all staged on a set in the desert? Well, after reading this article, you should be prepared to thoroughly debunk your narrow-minded chum. Just be sure that you wager heavily on 'we went to the moon' before you start explaining. This Week's Horoscopes NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 7/28/08 Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - You will learn the true meaning of Christmas after much embarrassment and the intervention of a friend with a dictionary. see more horoscopes Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Russian Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol and the Crappy Translation. Quotes of the Week <DrSkullthumper> Goatse is work safe if you're a proctologist <AAA^> "Muslim Porn: Women revealing their hair"

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 07:55, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Thanks

Thanks for the welcome message! Mww113 12:22, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

As you've already seen it

Would appreciate any ideas for expansion or comments on my latest piece... :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I've had a look, and I've left some ideas I had on the discussion page--Sycamore (Talk) 22:50, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

My Userbox

I made my own userbox,

This user has eye beams.

but i don't know how to put it on the userbox page for violence or any of the other categories. Could you tell me how to put it on there.-- Altair-the Eagle (talk to me) 20:07, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

No I don't - to be honest, I don't really make many templates - I know that User:Spang can do all sorts of things, I'm sure he'd know how to help:)--Sycamore (Talk) 23:00, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

VOTE

Hey there. Guess what, i made this somewhat funny image, and nominated it. I would appreciate it if you voted for it on Uncyclopedia:VFP. Or al least comment...-- Altair-the Eagle (talk to me) 21:31, 11 August 2008 (UTC)

Whoring is acceptable, but preferably subtlety in the art is something to aim for. Private booths for that sort of thing have been set aside on the IRC or more subtle notes are preferable to entice clients:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 21:43, 11 August 2008 (UTC)

Me putting the links up

Don't worry I wasn't spamming and I won't be putting anymore links up. they were all relevant to the page that I was linking. Fr00gy 15:34, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Cool:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:35, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 7th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

August 7^th, 2008 • Fourteenth Issue • Just like Grandma used to make!

Uncyclopedia Forum set to consume the Internet By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Top scientists at the Uncycloversity this week predicted that a Village Dump topic, started in June by prominent Uncylopedian and alchemist Spang, will one day consume the entire internet. According to the university's top expert, Dr. Skullthumper, Ph.D.: "This is one of those things that could go on forever. I mean, at least counting to a million has a definite ending. With this, there is no end, since everyone wants to be the last person to edit." Wikia staff member and Uncyclopedian Sannse predicts that the forum topic will take up all of Wikia's hardware by late 2009 and will then begin to "consume all around it, like I did that time I tried marijuana." She went on to add, "nothing will be safe – not even Wikipedia," before blessing herself and staring reverently at a statue of Jimmy Wales. Others, however, are more optimistic. According to Modusoperandi, "eventually someone will invent some sort of robot or hobgoblin to automatically edit the topic, and then it will have to be locked. Either that, or someone will figure out that there is no prize, rendering the whole thing pointless. And then I shall be the winner!" Spang was unavailable for comment because, according to his spokesperson, "he is busy in his cave dreaming up more crazy schemes to destroy the internet." Admins everywhere! By Gerrycheevers If you're a wiki-troll, cyberbullying vandal or extremely crappy article, you'd better start watching your behind. Three new deputies were voted in by the Uncyclopedia Sheriff's Department: Dr. Skullthumper, RAHB, and Roman Dog Bird. The trio were bestowed this great honor last Friday by Codeine. This brings the total amount of active authority figures who could wallop you over the head with a banhammer to 29. The reason for the unusally high number of new sysops is that a clear consensus could not be reached, and also that all three of these individuals are "awesome". The new admins were extremely pleased and greatly honored by their new title. None of them wasted any time in executing their first sysop move (RAHB and Dr. Skullthumper banned Cajek; Roman Dog Bird deleted one hundred articles, then banned Cajek). The prescence of these new neighborhood patrollers was evident immediately, with QVFD being renamed "Skull and RAHB's House of Huffing", and placing {{VFD}} in an article now automatically classifying it as "Roman Dog Bird's bitch". The reactions from the new sysops were similar, with all three pledging to delete bad articles, ban unworthy knuckleheads, continue plans for world domination, and "try not to muck up the site too much". RAHB has set himself lofty goals, including "keeping it cool" and some wiki-related nonsense that this reporter didn't understand. Roman Dog Bird wished the readers of the Signpost to know that he said "something", and went on to add that he will continue to "clean crap up...only now with more power." Dr. Skullthumper is thankful that no one has caught on to the trio of new ops and expresses his optimism as far as not being immediately de-opped, but also listed several early accomplishments as well as future goals. With these three brave new souls now patrolling the corridors of this silly wiki, it is truly a dark time for terrible articles, merciless vandals, and Cajek.

Check out these pages! Against againsts? Census time Is it, in fact, Hammer Time? Skullthumper revealed! From our logs: 01:57, 1 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Okay, that's enough Uncyclopedia. Bye.) 02:05, 1 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) unblocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) ‎ (ARGH NOOOO I CAN'T ESCAPE) 20:14, 3 August 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Orian57 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 15 minutes ‎ (Admins do not abuse their powers. On the contrary, Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia) 14:21, 6 August 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) huffed "EQ" ‎ (Thanks for the Psychology course refresher. Don't worry, I paid attention in that class, I don't really need it.) 15:54, 7 August 2008, Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 142.106.53.68 (Talk) (expires 15:54, 8 August 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (I don't know what the Somali is for "Don't do that". But don't do that.) Biopic of the Week SysRq ~ Not just a button on your keyboard anymore (well, half a button, really), SysRq has become quite the Uncyclopedian in his time here. Spending his time writing awesome stuff, utilizing his platinum urinal, and coming up with stuff on the fly, he has earned a spot among the elite that Uncyc has to offer. (And this seems to be a bit of a recurring theme, but again, don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage.) Old-school featured article of the week Check out Battle of Gettysburg, a harrowing documentary of one of the bloodiest battles in the American Civil War, and one man's fight to get through it. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Gemini (May 21 - June 21) - Help! I am being held hostage in the horoscope editing room! see more horoscopes

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Painstakingly hand-delivered by: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:33, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Thanks:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:58, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 14th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Word to your mother.

August 14^th, 2008 • Fifteenth Issue • May contain traces of humor

Uncyclopedia kidnapped! By Gerrycheevers In a shocking development, a brazen individual absconded with Uncyclopedia just over a week ago. Users were shocked when their attempts to access the site between 18:33 and 20:07 UTC on August 4th resulted in a sinister message being displayed, promising the swift return of the wiki should the kidnapper's demands be met. Panic ensued, with several Uncyclopedians wandering off to places unknown, never to return. Once the site was restored and the intertubes reconnected, the identity of the culprit was obvious: Orian57 had made the last edit before the ninety-minute gap, with the ominous and puzzling edit summary of "I AM STEALING UNCYCLOPEDIA!!!" The site itself seemed to be mostly fine after its harrowing ordeal, with the exception of VFP, which turned all of Zombiebaron's against votes into ten for votes during the first few hours back. This reporter caught up to Orian57, and had the opportunity to talk with him at some length about the reasons for the abduction. After consulting with his lawyer, Orian agreed to comment on the situation. On why he stole the wiki, he said, "my motivation for this cyber-terrorism wasn't something trite like 'because I could' or 'it wasn't me'. No. It was because nobody was paying me any attention!" It seems that Orian, in a desperate bid for attention, locked the Uncyclopedia server in a basement, and attempted to edit it so that all content referred to him. Perhaps his subconcious got the better of him, or perhaps the spirit of Sophia came to Uncyclopedia's rescue. In any case, Orian claims he heard a female voice speaking to him, which convinced him to return the server and allow "uncyclopedians around the world to stop masturbating and return to peeling potatoes or whatever they do." Some sort of competition finishes By UU So as you may have noticed, recently a contest of titanic proportions has been gripping the world like no other event. Palms have been sweaty, nails have been chewed, bribes, threats, and allegations of stimulant abuse have been rife. But now, the latest incarnation of the Poo Lit Surprise has drawn to a close, and so our attention can drift to that bunch of steroid-enhanced nutters at the Olympics. Finally, the questions on everyone's lips have been answered. Providing they were related to the Poo Lit Surprise, and who was going to win. Other questions, unfortunately, remain unanswered. However, if you do want to know who won, and haven't found out already, you can find out here. We could just tell you here, but where's the fun in that? We should, however, point out that if you haven't seen all of the articles yet, there are some real crackers amongst them, and not just the winners either - which probably reflects well on the Uncyclopedia Community as a whole, although it may just hint that everyone saved their best articles for this one small period of time and now has nothing else to offer for another 6 months. We'll see, but in the meantime, have a look at all the entries - there should be chuckles on offer whatever your sense of humo(u)r!

Check out these pages! WHAT'S with THE caps SITUATION? Out with the old... ...and in with the legends? From our logs: 13:06, 8 August 2008, Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 60.54.79.28 (Talk) (expires 13:06, 9 August 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (Blanker: You disappoint Vishnu.) 19:45, 11 August 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Dxbn (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (You're a boob. Not the good kind, either. If you were, you'd have a nipple right 'there'. Just the thought of you being the good kind of boob makes me a little hard.) 19:51, 11 August 2008, Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.40.99.2 (Talk) (expires 19:51, 11 November 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (blanking is the lowest form of wit. Even lower than Steve Martin.) Biopic of the Week RadicalX ~ Since the dawn of Uncyclopedia, users have had the need for images. And RadX, himself created with Adobe Photoshop, has obliged. Even a quick look at his image gallery should cause you to drop to your knees and weep. He also is an extremely talented writer, and spends his time spreading the light of The Church of T with his prophet, Bradaphraser. Old-school featured article of the week Ever been knocked in the nards so badly that you saw stars, but never figured out who the culprit was? Well, it was probably midget cockpunching terrorists. These cheeky buggers have been assaulting the most sensitive area of such well-known figures as Frank Sinatra and Ronald Reagan for decades. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - This week you should be self-centered in all your endeavors, except for grenade-tossing practice. see more horoscopes Shamless space-filler of the week Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Fired out of a newspaper cannon by: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:57, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Thanks:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:07, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

password for account

Hi there, i just joined the uncyclopedia a month ago and have forgotton my password. The only problem is i must have made a mess of my registration because when i click the button to send the password to to my email im not getting anything. Ive checked to see if the email is being filtered out but i still cant find the reply. My username was Vitaloverdose and my email is vitaloverdose@yahoo.com. thanks.--84.45.226.149 21:07, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Hi there Vitaloverdose, I've asked Sannse about this, it looks like the best way is to create a new account and move over anything that you wanted from your old account (not an idea to get in the habit of this though) - nobody it seems will be able to get into your old account. Sorry about this, I myself had an old username and I changed to this one, and a lot of people have been in a similar boat:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 12:55, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

Join the UnOrder Today!

~ Readmesoon

No thanks...— Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:51, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

Muchas gracias

Under User has blessed you with cake for being friendly and/or useful. Eat it quickly before he changes his mind. Warning: cake prepared in an environment which also processes nuts, and contains lactose, gluten, ground glass and arsenic, which gives it a lovely tang.

Thanks for the review. I know what you mean about the quick thing - I did one myself recently that ended up being longer than many "in depth" ones I've seen. I promise faithfully to digest all feedback and act on it accordingly. Soon. --UU - natter 14:34, Aug 19

No probs— Sir Sycamore (talk) 14:36, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

MEANIE

:Revision history of "User:DjGentoo"
:# (cur) (last)  17:56, 20 August 2008 Sycamore (Talk | contribs) m (3,468 bytes) (Reverted edit(s) of Ljlego (talk) to last version by Sycamore)  (undo)
:# (cur) (last) 17:56, 20 August 2008 Ljlego (Talk | contribs) (17 bytes) (Revert this please) (undo)
:# (cur) (last) 17:53, 20 August 2008 Sycamore (Talk | contribs) m (3,468 bytes) (Reverted edit(s) of Skully (talk) to last version by DjGentoo) (undo)
:# (cur) (last) 17:53, 20 August 2008 Skully (Talk | contribs) (3,474 bytes) (undo)

( » DJ "Reaper of Fail" Gentoo, now with wit, sarcasm, and even more obscure folk metal. Now in lime green! 18:07, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

I have Rollback whcih means I can revert much quicker - at least its all fixed and nobodys stuff is fucked eh?:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 19:39, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

Asshole

Good. Now that I've got your attention. What the fuck are you thinking? You can't let that comment go by. What that son of a bitch said isn't a discussion. It's just random uncalledfor cheap shots against someone he barely knows. That guy is a syco. And you are a fucking asshole to actually allow a comment like that up. Get rid of it.

What are you talking about?— Sir Sycamore (talk) 21:46, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

whoa omg this one made me laugh like shiet... its so retarded and so damn funny!! haha... i just couldnt control myself!! because i hate hannah montana so much.. i wont even care if her father rapes her LOL!! haha..

neways... i wont be surprised IF he does.... because she IS a SLUT anyway... AGREED??? yes.. thats a definite yes!! woot!!

-bella-

You are letting this comment stay on the Hannah Montana discussion page. This isn't a real discussion and plus, it's disgusting. The fact that this guy wants someone to get raped. You cannot seriously call this a comment.

I agree it is not the most appopriate of of comments to say the least - similalry calling me an "asshole" is similarly inappropriate; would you not agree?— Sir Sycamore (talk) 21:57, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

Sorry. It's just that I've been tired of dealing with these idiot administrators. They keep going around rejecting my edits for being to immature and then letting even worse edits stay. Recently, I've started protecting the Hannah Montana article. It had become too offensive and I decided to change it around a bit. Then one of the administrators (Roman-something) kept adding more offensive stuff. It became a battle of wits and eventually the roman guy banned me for 2 weeks. Now, I've been waiting to change the comment for a while, but since I was banned there was nothing I could do about it. Miley doesn't deserve this. Just because she's a virgin you're picking on her. So I decided to stop caring if I offended people. I was prepared to get banned again but you apparently are reasonable. Please get rid of that comment. 72.95.139.248 22:14, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

Did you ever considered talking with Roman Dog Bird? That would probably make your life easier in the long run. ~ 22:16, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

Okay, I will. Thank you for your time. Once again, sorry to bother you.

(my reply conflited with Mordillo) I agree that it can be difficult to see certain pages (there are one or two I myself would not be sorry to see the back of) however - this is a place of many people just like the outside world - and it is very dodgy to get into such drastic censorship, I have agreed with you on that comment however reagrdng the comment I left on the tlakpage, I would let this article slide (although it is good to see people caring about the place). No good will come of that - just start writing your own beteer articles. With regards to bans etc - I don't advise this sort of Vigilante take on your edits and I don't advise any more of that - lengthy ones will result. The other point you raised was that somehow we picked on people - this is a satirical website - not a fansite: we rip into our heros and various other topics, none of this is a real slander or attack as it is in good fun. I hope you can come to see thing a little clearer on all of this:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 22:28, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

I guess so. 72.95.139.248 22:40, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

Why you throw revert?

[1] Regards, --Snafu 16:35, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Whoops;)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 16:36, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Many Thanks

Dear Sycamore, Many thanks for your kind welcome to the site Uncyclopedia. I am utterly confused and dumbfounded so I am not sure how useful I will be as a contributor, however I look forward to a long friendship in our mutually humorous endeavors. I have created a link to uncyclopedia on my own web site which I have listed as "How to waste an entire weekend," and it is not intended with any offense, but instead to generate interest. I am thoroughly enjoying the site and the responses I have received in the forum. I am also in awe at the huge body of work represented on the site. Incredibly funny stuff, and I can't help but wonder how you guys have managed this much flow of information with such stunning efficiency. (I am a complete noob as far as wiki is concerned but hope to learn more about it.) Please let me know if anyone cares to adopt me, but make sure they have lots of patience, because I am totally ignorant in the wiki realm. In fact, I can't even be sure what you mean by signing with four tildes, so in essence, I'm a ignorant hick from the sticks. Thanks again, The Psychotic Advisor--PsychoticAdvisor 02:59, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

I'm glad to hear that you like the site, I like too. We collectively work together on a variety of projects on deletion, peer review (Pee review) re writes etc, this is all done be users like you and me (not just admins); and together the site does function pretty well. With regards to adoption it is best to look t the list of who’s adopting: Uncyclopedia:AAN/Adopters. I would personally go for one of the Admin users or Thinker/MrN9000; they're always about and will be able to help with everything you want to do around here and they’ve been around for a while. Hope to see you about soon:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 08:13, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

Orian (No comment)

"How to waste an entire weekend," Is that all? Try "How to waste four frigging months of your life and completley fuck up your highers." and as for offence you'll find that around here it's pretty hard (though not impossible) to offend people, provided you say things with good humour. Also you can come talk at me if you need help. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 06:10 25 August 2008

Oh a new header all for me? I'm flattered. maybe make it a third level header though as it's still to do with the above topic. whatever it's your talk page. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:18 25 August 2008

Quite — Sir Sycamore (talk) 08:20, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

You gave me my own header, how could you expect me not to talk to myself? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:22 25 August 2008

You tell him Orian! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:22 25 August 2008

Jesus, sheer madness has decended:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 08:23, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

Madness? where? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:27 25 August 2008

Right here you douche! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:27 25 August 2008

Yeah, you do have seven personalities. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:27 25 August 2008

And don't forget me... Read this Lyle Crump Talk 08:27, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

wasp are a pain

wasps are a big pain / very dont you argee ?– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

I suppose...? — Sir Sycamore (talk) 19:49, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

thanks for the jaffa cakes sycamore

sycamore thanks i enjoyed the jaffa cakes thanks very much cheers phone6– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

Cool, I'm glad you liked them, please don't move my talk page again — Sir Sycamore (talk) 19:58, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

thanks for the jaffa cakes ( if you didnt see it )

thanks for the jaffa cakes very much i was very happy thank you sycamore– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

sorry sycamore

i didnt mean too sycamore i am sorry– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

No probs, all fixed:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:01, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

Wikipedia/Vid

sycamore do you know wikipedia ?– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

what this that video on you youtube a advert on tv or something ?– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

I don't not know too much about wikipedia, what is it that you want to know? and secondly, yes that is an advert from british television that I like:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:07, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

i have a cacodemon pet

my cacodemon pet is cute and lovely– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

Thats groovy... — Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:10, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

sycamore i have a video on my talkpage with a mutiplayer deathmactich with bots on skulltag

the video that was made by my friend– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

Thats cool, I have to assume that if you're talkimg about your talkpage here that this video is imaginary or you have a different talkpage somewhere outside of here, and as such, outside of any reality which I have hitherto known or can remember. — Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:16, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

mutiplayer on doom2 is great

you wounder ? cause all players in doom2 help you and cause they give you ammo– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

I don't really play computer games, so i can't comment on the matter, it sounds important though. — Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:20, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

how do you get users to talk to you on wikipedia

help me tell me how do get users to talk to you– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

On Wikipedia it would be much the same as here, you find a user like me and go onto their discussion page like this one. However response may not happen as quickly as here (with me), and also with other users on this site as activity varies. — Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:24, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

Signing posts

PLEESE TELL ME HOW DO SIGN YOUR POSTS AND HURRY UP ON CHATING– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

Don't worry I saw Leds post there, it's very easy to sign, after every comment you make on talk pages/forums just add four ~~~~ and that will produce the time and date you made the comment:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:29, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

SYCAMORE WHY

WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE MOVED PAGES WHY DO YOU SAY DONT MOVE PAGES PLEESE PLEESE LET ME MOVE THAT PAGE DOUGHNUTS– Preceding unsigned comment added by Phone6 (talk • contribs)

This is getting a little off now (don't be naughty!) - you don't move pages period, I see all... — Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:38, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

Reply to post on my page

Not the most original of headings but it will have to suffice. Well, you're more tolerable than than some of the pompous little twerps on this website so I'll try and be civil with you Sycamore. On Uncyclopedia, you may have noticed we have categories for everything conceivable. We have a category for Men claiming paternity of Anna Nicole Smith's Daughter, we have a category for articles that relate to Heath Ledger (rest his soul) being dead, we have a category for Unfunny Crap About Minerva, we have a category for rolling your head on the keyboard, we have a category for people murdered by Yagami Light. So why on Earth shouldn't we have a category for things Amy Winehouse has smoked? After all, as much as I love the woman she has smoked just about every drug imaginable and some that haven't even been invented yet. I consider this a perfectly good reason for a category but if it's going to upset people then I shan't bother recreating it, there's a limit to even my patience. Would you be so kind as to point out any other so called "cruft" I have produced recently. Oh and you might want to take a look at some of these very amusing articles I have created in my time on Uncyclopedia: John Gay, Da Void, The 10th Kingdom, Christine White, Septimus Pretorius and Mister Darcy. --Narcissus Black 00:22, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

Actually I don’t think your being all that civil, so to reply more fully here, and more seriously; you have not been doing good things on this site. You are forgetting the all seeing eye here. A key point to remember here is that I know what you’ve been doing around here, for the past month and beyond you’ve been “installing quotes” and nonsensical categories. These joke categories are frequently deleted and serve no good cause; they are unfunny and interfere with the purpose of these which are to organize topics into some sort of order. A similar case has been with the quotes and other such nonsense behavior (many of your own articles are in fact poorer because of this, we always advise reading this, so that user may improve their contribuitions: HTBFANJS). I asked an admin a while back over you, and he suggested putting you on Ban Patrol for this sort of gobshitery; I’m not going to do this, I’m going to hope this sinks in, and that you start doing something useful – not just a few one off good deeds but every time you come to the site. — Sir Sycamore (talk) 07:52, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

Well personally I feel very insulted. "Seriously"? Sycamore, this is uncyclopedia. "Nonsensical categories"? This website is nonsense, it's a joke, literally. Personally I think Uncyclopedia has become just as sanctimoniously pious as the website it sort to parody, lest you've forgotten. Yes I have been doing good things on this site, no I have not forgotten "the all-seeing eye" and frankly I'd like the name of the admin who you spoke about me to. --Narcissus Black 11:42, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

Correction. Uncyclopedia is not nonsense. Whoever gave you that impression is an idiot. If you developed that impression yourself, well then my good sir, you are an idiot, as you probably could have guessed. Uncyclopedia may be fun and games, but there is an order to all things. What goes on behind the scenes is more serious because we're trying to run a stable website here, and not trying to conduct some sort of infinite monkey theorem experiment. If you're really interested in nonsense, I'm sure Illogicopedia would love to have you. While you're here though, this site is supposed to, in the most part, contain coherent and original humor. Not pure nonsense. Not recycled old quotes. Not category spam. Now, I don't see what problem there is with the category in question in this particular instance, and in fact, I find it rather humorous. I'll let you work that particular detail out with Sycamore here. However, I suggest you get your facts straight on what Uncyclopedia is, and what it is not. I also suggest you learn to conduct yourself in a non-asshole fashion. I am not the admin Sycamore has spoken to you about, but if I am given reason to, I have no problem bringing the hammer down. Consider this your official warning. -RAHB 12:00, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

Well I don't know what you mean by recycled old quotes and I think we could have dispensed with the petty insults but that's reasonable enough I suppose. --Narcissus Black 12:28, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 28th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Word to your mother.

August 28^th, 2008 • SEVENTEENTH ISSUE SPECTACULAR • Word to your mother

Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce By Regret Tenenbaum At exactly 10:28 pm (UTC), Sir Led Balloon did the honors of emblazoning a golden '1000' in the count to a million project, a true milestone on the journey to seven-digit greatness. Another user celebrated by gracing the page with an unprecedented one-thousand-and-one pixel high "1001", which was quickly taken down. The user was, needless to say, embarrassed, yet happy that the uncouth horde of devoted Uncyclopedians had finally reached the number 1000, as such a milestone had not been reached since the number 100 and the end of the Porn Wars. On that note, the Porn Wars ended earlier this week with a tentative truce between Commander Jailbait and General Pervert. The war began the week before, when Regret posted a pin-up girl to balance Orian's photo of a scantily-clad male, claiming he was "bringing balance back to the universe." Regret also stated he would "fight to the death"... or at least until Leddy stepped in, this time to call a "three-pornstuffs rule", which eventually ended the erotic feud. Meth, a constant editor on the forum, said "'twas a fortunate day for all under 18." Still, even with peace returning to the forum, not all is well in the land of counting. On the subject of reaching 1000, one dissenting user said: "Perhaps we should seriously consider stopping there. I mean that would be 1/1000 of the goal! Imagine doing this whole thing, 1000 times. That would mean 3000 archives, give or take." To which another user responded, "unfortunately for you, Nobody cares." Nevertheless, as long as there are users with nothing better to do, the Forum will always trudge on, giving Uncyclopedians something with which to kill thirty seconds, and also giving UnSignpost reporters something to write about. Lack of cure for testicular cancer kills 100 Uncyc members By Methamphetamine Uncycloversity members are still failing to find a cure for our previously mentioned testicular cancer, and to date, 100 people have died of said cancer. When nobody died, some user said it was a rumor made by some other user to piss us all off, right before clutching his balls in pain and dropping dead. Within an hour, about 16 more people died a cancer-related death. A live update shows that 105 users are now dead. You could be next! Don't panic, that'll make you die faster. Regret Tenenbaum, the user who originally warned of the disease, had this to say: "I TOLD YOU SO!" to which he added "Na-nanana-nanana!" The death toll is expected to reach into the thousands, with no end in sight. A memorial was set up earlier today to remember the dead, with one number added for every fallen Uncyclopedian. With fear and panic filling the hearts of users everywhere, there is one question that is on everyone's mind: "WHY GOD, WHY?!" Another live update show that 200 people have now died, and out of those, 10 people killed themselves in anxiety. Remember to always feel your testicles with your fingers. That's right. It helps prevent the cancer from reproducing.

Check out these pages! VOTE VOTE VOT Everyone tell Cajek what they've been up to Who is the man behind Uncyc's curtain? The truth about wikia's staff! From our logs: 05:22, 20 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 12.219.249.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days, 14 hours, 15 minutes, 93 seconds ‎ (Blanking Africa does not make it go away.) 20:45, 24 August 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Norwich (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (and you're an annoying cuntfluff) 09:39, 26 August 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 93.190.63.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (o hai, no blank plz. kthxbai.) 00:41, 27 August 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) huffed My balls (content was: 'Sweaty and hot.') Biopic of the Week TheLedBalloon - Feature machine and Star Wars aficionado, Uncyc's resident hockey expert has come a long way from his humble beginnings. Seeming to appear on talk pages where there is conflict brewing as if there was some giant balloon signal silhoutted against the clouds, Led's recent oppage ensures that he has the tools to keep Uncyc as most excellent as possible. Old-school featured article of the week Five-time World RiskTM Champion Napoleon Bonaparte was a man of great stature. He enjoyed many military victories, revolutionizing armed combat. He rose to the rank of Emperor, and came closer than any diabolical supervillian has (before or since) to conquering the world. Unfortunately, nobody took him seriously because he was short. This Week's Horoscopes NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 8/25/08 Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - Think long and hard before misdirection-linking to the Uncyclopedia article on Penis, as it could result in stiff competition between you and other members of your unit. see more horoscopes

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

–—Hv (talk) 30/08 20:13

Thanks:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 07:54, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

"You"

Okay, now there is another Miley Cyrus problems. The "You" article has a bunch of Miley Cyrus crap in it. Not only is it insulting but it's irrelivent. You need to do something about that article. 72.95.139.248 22:58, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

I've had a look, not only have a grown weary of the Hannah Montana affair, I'm already bored by this - to repeat what I said before - "this is a satirical website, not a fan site". I hope this behavior stops; I'm not Miley Cyrus, or Hannah Montannas agent - should there be a poor aspect to an article, you are more than welcome to try and rectify it. I ask politiley that you turn your attentions to more productive matters, and stop this nonsense. Thank You — Sir Sycamore (talk) 07:49, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

This isn't just defending Miley, but all the crap in the You article is irrelivant. This is a violation of your rules. I don't give a shit if you're annoyed with me. Fix it. 72.95.139.248 17:04, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

Yea! Fix it! I could also not help but notice that this article needs more funny things adding to it. Please do so imminently. Also, I need a new cover for my ironing board, and if you could make me more popular with the ladies that would be very welcome. MrN 17:13, Aug 31

Ta

For the HTCPCP review, really appreciated!

Hv|User:Heerenveen|Hv has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thanks again! –—Hv (talk) 31/08 17:08

No problem, I hope to see it out on VFH again soon:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 17:12, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

Re:???

Yes partly to do with that, partly to do with a Voldemort article I created a while ago which he redirected to that pathetic You Are Dead article (I have a tendency to bear grudges) and also partly to do with deleting that Amy Winehouse cat I created. Besides all that I always had him down as a pompous little twerp really. --Narcissus Black 11:36, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

There ya go, you know often the names we give to others reveal more about ourselves. — Sir Sycamore (talk) 11:40, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

Sycamore, I shall not engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man. --Narcissus Black 13:15, 1 September 2008 (UTC)