User talk:Prettiestpretty/archive7

This page is for reference only. If you wish to leave a comment for Prettiestpretty, do so here User talk:Prettiestpretty Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 15:39, 22 December 2008 (UTC)

It all feels so bare....

Please start a new conversation....this place is naked without one. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

• Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? - Amy Rose 14:47, 22 December 2008 (UTC)

Of Templates And Things

Hi there Ms Pretty, hope I finds you well. Er, anyway, just a quick point about Pee Review, if I may. Since myself and Cajek reviewed the same article at the same time twice on the same day, many regular reviewers have taken to slapping "booking" templates in place, to avoid wasted effort. I noticed that you'd reviewed one that Mightydandylion had slapped a template on, and may well be reviewing right now, unaware you have already done a sterling job on it. Might I ask politely that if you spot such a tag in place (with the exception of Fag's, because he tags then doesn't bloody review!) you find another article to give the benefit of your undoubted expertise? Muchos gracias, and toodles. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 22:20, Mar 17

And there can only be one review of an article? Hardly. The point of Pee Review is to have a peer review the article. The idea of Pee Review is not to mark turf and grab just the good stuff. There is nothing in policy that says that an article may only have one Pee Review. As for Mightydandylion, my having performed the review does not preclude him from filling out another template and performing his/her own review of the article. My point is, this process is that Pee Review should be about making Uncyclopedia better, not marking turf. I don't mean to be brusque, but I find this form of exclusivity to be a bit, well, offputting. Toodles to you, too. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 22:36, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Sorry, I thought I was being friendly and helpful here, I wasn't trying to be exclusive, and it's not about marking one's territory as such... Of course there's room for more than one review, and I and others are not trying to hog the best ones for ourselves (or at least I'm not, and I don't think others are). The main rationale behind it (and it applies less right now, when the queue is rather low, but it applies fairly often when the queue is longer than my arm), is simply this: when there are a lot of articles awaiting a review, and therefore a lot of people waiting for help, it seems a bit of a shame if two people expend effort reviewing the same article. They're not there to stop others reviewing the article at all, just to give notice that you may want to find someone else to help. Does that sound better? I didn't mean to raise a single one of your hackles, and I apologise profusely if I did. Pippings! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 23:29, Mar 17

There now - that was better. And I should apologize - its the eve of a my "womans" high tide and PMS is not only coursing through, but with the equinox on Thursday, I feel that I should go very mad at any moment. I really do feel a bit like being on a roller coatser to Hell, which is fine and good if you are Marilyn Manson, but as I am not, lets just say be thankful that you aren't in the same time zone as I am. Again, its the hormoanas making my head spin and the sounds coming out of mouth sound like a record playing backward. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:35, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

I hope

My vote for the Miseries of Uncyclopedian Life gave you a boost in your day. Because that's my aim. To give people day boosters. It's my goal in life. I think it'll be my job.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 22:49, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Well Mister, it worked ;-). But I also hope that you voted for it because it was good writing. Better a vote for something because it deserves it than voting for it for another reason. Sending you HUGE hugs, Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:04, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

No, no, I was genuninely amused by it. I remembered that I voted for that other Uncyclopedian-exclusive article (plus that one by Mhaille), and decided to put a little fun back in my step.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 23:34, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Then you have made my day better. As I just point out to User:Under_user Aunt Flo is getting ready to pay another visit to me and I'm a bit not myself. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:39, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

I wasn't going to say anything . . .Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 23:42, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Pee Review

Of course: please don't give it a second thought! Take care, Mightydandylion 05:38, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

UnNews:I'm Sorry

Thanks for the review. I will look up the Steve Martin thing. And I did have trouble with the wordiness of the body of it. I'll work on that. As for the opening, I'll wait before I touch it because I know another person had the exact opposite opinion of that part. Doesn't negate your view (obviously). Just want to see how others (if any) respond to that part.

No biggie. When one offers up oneself for review, the variety of inputs can make a big difference in the final output. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:08, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

Thanks again!! --WesMan20 16:30, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

I'm Sorry

Checked out the Steve Martin thing. Good piece. I think I may actually have that New Yorker somewhere... --WesMan20 17:40, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

Prettiestpretty, getting ready to go to the beach. "I plan to drive there in my '68 Dart really, really slowly. I don't know why the kids these days need to go so fast. 35 is a fine, safe speed on the highway." she says.

Florida?

What are you, a hundred? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:18, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

• No, I am nice toasty tan color. So while I am not 100, my skin should soon look like I am. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:22, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

What are you, Jewish? ~ 01:28, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

• Half (father) so we only made it to Orlando. So the hubby and I went to the chosen land of America and kibbitzed, noshed and tanned while my sister took the kids to Disney World for a few turns in the cups. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:22, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

UnNews:I'm Sorry

I expanded it a bit with some more apologies. Any better? Worse? --WesMan20 (talk) 14:56, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

• Better, hugs, Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:22, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

Dearest Prettiest,

I realize that my greeting contains one too many superlatives, but you'll forgive me if I find the need to be concise, succinct, and otherwise short-of-expression. Ahem:

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?

Feel free to answer at your leisure, dear lady. I eagerly await a response.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 03:31, 5 April 2008 (UTC)

Ah. *clears throat embarassedly*. Florida, mhmflagmbagl, of course. I knew that. Enjoy your slow cook to oblivion.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 03:33, 5 April 2008 (UTC)

Ljlego my love. Have returned from Florida and have been doing a bit of self imposed "awayness" from Uncyclopedia as you all need a break from me as well - makes the heart grow fonder. I anticpate my return in the next few days, so fasten your seat belts. Hugs, Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 17:50, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Excellent. Well, you know, we are much better drivers here at Uncyclopedia. 'Cept that rascal Modusoperandi, always hogging up the left lane and goin' 40. I hear he's quite mad, actually.-~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 20:43, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Look what I did!

I hope you like it! -- The Zombiebaron 23:09, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

I hope you like what I do to it. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 00:54, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

I'm fairly certain that's what she said, but don't quote me on it.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 00:58, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

Ljlego, get thee to a nunnery and help the bitch along. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 01:44, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

And

...where have you been? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Running after wee small people, and working. Creativity hasn't been my friend for a while. Mostly I spend my non-work time getting said wee small people to eat their dinner, go to bed and, on occasion, stop sticking their wee small curious faces into the behind of the dog when said dog poops. My muse must be on - as you Brits would say - on Holiday. How's tricks on your end of the Atlantic? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:09, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Busy, got a major project to complete that's taken a lot of my time up. Somehow I managed to write a featured article the other week, so I'm glad my Muse returned. I've missed her so. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I think thats a compliment and I'll take it. I'm struggling with UnBooks:Ayn Rand's Goldielocks and the Three Bears Any help, guidence or feedback is mucho welcome. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 01:36, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, Prettiestpretty!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, Prettiestpretty, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!

Double moos from your cowy friend,
YTTE

CMC

Welcome Prettiestpretty to the Glorious Cow Moo Cult!

You're in, you clearly fit these requirements and the Cows, obviously, smile upon you. You are currently a "Mud Grunt" by rank. Now the good bit: you can officially put this template wherever you want on your userpage or talk page and can add "Mgr." to the beginning of your signature, if you wish.

Promoting the CMC is always good, considering at the moment we're barely even tiny on Uncyclopedia. If you can refer users to sign up, consider yourself promoted. In time you'll move up the ranks anyway. Occasionally you'll have to put a little bit of work in here and there, but only a little bit... For the moment all you really need to do is watchlist this page. Your main task, however, is CONVERTING THE COWLESS. Have a quick read of this before you start and conversion processes. If you help swell the CMC ranks, it's likely you'll get a promotion!

I'm happy to answer any questions here. Oh and it's advised you read these (loose) rules. You are now one of the few with the Cows on your side.

Let the moo be with you!
Moo moo moo mo mooo moo!

Thanks for joining up, let the cows go with you. -

Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[12:52 3 July]

PrettyThnaks

Hey, Prettiestpretty. Steven would just like to thank you for the vote on his article relating to Insomnia. He really would but right now he's sleeping. Shhh don't wake him...

Also I did love your Goldilocks article. If it goes on VFH I'll be the first to vote. Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir Orian57!Talk!PEE!Read!UnProvise!Awards! 09:50 6 July 2008

You're on fire!

Just as I was starting to think "where the hell is she"? you came back, all guns blazing. Good one! ~ 17:31, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

• Its my job. No seriously. I'm sitting at my new job and the boss is out for like three weeks and no one wants to train me, so I'm just sitting at my desk, my mind is running amuck. ;-) Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 17:37, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

Ew. Also, eww. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Shrimping? Nasty one it is. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 17:45, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

No really, you're on fire. Mordillo is a closet arsonist. He just can't help himself. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Ouch! ~swatting furiously at the flames~ Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 13:09, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

Woaaaah, far out!

This is a haiku Thanking you for voting For On this article

-RAHB 23:10, 7 July 2008 (UTC)

S**t

You are the first chick I have seen on uncyclopedia. Nice to meet you. --Mgr. Readmesoon my voice my work vote for me

Thank you ;-) But there are others. I just think that I'm the oldest one on the site...Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:39, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

Or the most well known. --Mgr. Readmesoon my voice my work vote for me

PMS always gets you noticed. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:46, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

PMS? --Mgr. Readmesoon my voice my work vote for me

Don't ask about the PMS.....don't you know anything? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Sorry, sir. I just didn't know and was a little... curious.--Mgr. Readmesoon my voice my work vote for me

Pandora was curious about it, then she went an opened the box it was stored in... Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:45, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

The first of PMs is never ever talk about PMS with a lady. NEVER. ~ 20:48, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

You know, my mother always insisted that a "a lady never smokes on the street while walking"... Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:51, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Mgr. Readmesoon my voice my work vote for me

Why, have you been smoking on the street? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 01:27, 10 July 2008 (UTC)

No, no. I do not smoke on the street.~ Mgr.ReadMeSoon!? 23:49, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Then there is no need to apologize. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)

Whatever...<>~ Mgr.ReadMeSoon!? 23:49, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

I occasionally smoulder. Like Don Johnson in Miami Vice. But with socks. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Don Johnson?!?!?! Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 00:00, 11 July 2008 (UTC)

Hea there young lady...

Just a little request per this edit. If you wish to resubmit an article for another Pee Review would you be so kind as to make another request as you do when making a new one? We at PEEING try to keep track of the reviews which we have done, and if people revert reviews which were done in good faith it kinda messes with our tables where we maintain lists of the reviews which we have done. I think there is something in UN:PRG about doing this... Normally it's best if people create the new request with "(Re Submit)" or something along those lines after the name so it creates a new page, and the old review remains in place. Sorry, to be a pain about this, but if you would be so kind you would be helping us chaps at PEEING greatly. Tootle pip. MrN 18:23, Jul 14

LMFAO!

You gotta be kidding me, I was just about to use the same exact article for an UnNews Article just before you posted yours, and I came into unnews to make it and 'Worlds Greatest dad' was in the name and I started laughing. Way to beat me to the punch, now I need to find another article to make an article out of. ----_{Mgr. Sir} Sonic80^☭ 17:54, 16 July 2008 (UTC)

I thought about just reposting the real news article, worsd for wrod because its sorta like Uncyclopedia, but for real, you know? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 17:56, 16 July 2008 (UTC)

Narsacistic thankings

	Thank you, Prettiestpretty, for voting Orian57 your Reviewer of the Month. However the egotistical beast that you have now unleashed is not grateful and meagrely expected the vote but would like to give you a condescending pat on the head. Good girl/boy
	Thanks for voting!

I probably spelt it wrong but fuck it, you get the idea. Also hello! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:59 1 August 2008

Love the new News item

Was thinking of doing something on her myself. :) Whilst you are around what do you think of this? Or this? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

• I just put a link on the one, which I am sure that you know, because you seem to be able to know what I am going to type before I do (Note to self: Wear the foil head cap before editing anything of Mhaille's) and as for the other, I think that you have to include some debauchery such as masochism and self flagellation, which is a given for religious martyrs. Owww, I know what would be fun, what if one of the Apostles got turned on by the voyerism of seeing Jesus whipped. Now thats kinky and sacrilegious at the same time. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:13, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

We are so going to Hell. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

We are REALLY going to Hell now....I'll save you a fiery spike with a good view. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Yah! We haz feature!

Well that was easy, maybe we ought to do it again sometime. ;) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Seredipity is a cool thing! Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 12:21, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

But synchronicity sounds better at business meetings. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Or we could say that we were in propinquity, and send everyone to the thesaurus. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 12:56, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

press

hey pretty, just wondering if you had any comment for the signpost regarding banning hurricanes from america. do they pose a threat large enough to warrant a ban? will we see an uprising from other natural catastrophes? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:26, 4 September 2008 (UTC)

Palin

Ok, but I thought it would best if this picture [1] lined up with part of the article that covered the Bristol thingy.--Mrasdfghjkl 16:45, 4 September 2008 (UTC) Come to think of it, the pictures on pages such as John McCain etc are on both sides anyway. I don't think that should matter.--Mrasdfghjkl 16:49, 4 September 2008 (UTC)

So I took your advice and dropped the one picture and elevated yours. It fits better. Hugs,

PP Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 19:35, 5 September 2008 (UTC)

I don't get it.

Sarah Palin maed a yuky doody? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 04:50, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

Sarah Palin is a Yuky Doody. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 12:20, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

Ooooooh! I see. Um... Hi! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:36, 27 September 2008 (UTC)

Stop Squirming and Hold Still

I've had some fun with this. Have a look! -Tritefantastic 05:51, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Centerville

Once again, you take a borderline article with a tiny nugget of funny, and add some polished gems. Nice work again PP! --UU - natter 08:50, Oct 17

~Blushing~ Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 15:00, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Jesus Christ, who brought that guitar?

And now, about the guitar article. I really like it, and it has that extra frisson of "funny 'cos it's true" niceness that works well. Not sure about the way it shifts in focus a little - it feels like it shifts from talking in general about how the guitar is a bad idea to talking specifically to the guy who's brought the guitar, and the shift isn't explained. Not sure if this was you or the others edits - can't be bothered to check the history that closely - but it needs addressing.

Beyond that, I think there are two levels to this that you need to address - the cover versions, and the original material. You've started to cover the guy inflicting his latest masterwork on those present - good stuff, reminds me a lot of an old flatmate of mine. There's a whole section to mine from that - the insistence on playing the same bit over several times because "it isn't right" - despite the fact that when he gets it right it sounds exactly the friggin' same; the Teen Angst "poetry" lyrics that make Nickelback's "never made it as a blind man, couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing" schtick seem profound; the tortured facial expressions, and the fact that his eyes stay shut so he can't see anyone's expression of extreme disinterest... And then there's the cover versions - the songs that "you all know and love"; or to put it another way, the easy ones in the front of the guitar book that everyone mangles, and most people are bored sick of, but they insist on dragging out and trying to get everyone to sing along to.

I really like this idea, and I like where it's going so far. Keep running, have fun, and I may well chip in with some stuff if you don't mind.

Pippings! --UU - natter 11:14, Oct 20

Well then, Chip-a-way! I've hit a wall. What I was trying to get at is that there is no reason for someone to whip it out, especially when all they can play are a few chords. I have this fear of guitars coming out at moments when they are unwelcome (unless you are on stage, or in a rehersal, keep the guitar locked down) and uncomfortable. So yes, chip, CHIP away at it. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 13:08, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

Rightyho, when I'm not at work, and the muse is in full effect, I'll have a look. --UU - natter 13:14, Oct 20

Just to say I totally haven't forgotten about this, and do so intend to chip in if/when I can. But, well, do you ladies get some kind of kit on wedding days? Something with a list about 5 miles long of tasks you should now start getting your new spouses to do? The new Mrs UU seems to have got such a thing. It's going to be a thing to celebrate when I next have an evening or weekend to myself again... Grouting tiles next, I think. Such deep joy. Now I see where the term "wedded bliss" comes from! ;-) --UU - natter 21:34, Oct 29

Yeah you made me look bad now. I just it was good. ALthough I do not care what you say that Nickleback song is good. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:31 20 October 2008

Nickleback requires a certain amount of beer in ya. Then it sounds good. Then the guy across the room starts looking good as well. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 13:08, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

I'm not sure there's enough beer in the world for either of those things to happen to me... ;-) --UU - natter 13:14, Oct 20

No I genuinly like the song. There was this school trip I had when I was like 11 we went to York for the week. And the only song that the bus driver played was that one. So it just kinda stuck. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:54 20 October 2008

Do you think the title works? Or should it be WTF Dude - what's with that guitar? or Dude: step away from the guitar Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 13:22, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

I think the title works fine. --UU - natter 13:57, Oct 20

Aww

You don't like the Signpost? Sad face. :( Would you like to be unsubscribed? --UU - natter 22:02, Nov 27

I love the SignPost, and read it, too! I'm just trying to cut down on the space used for this page (the template is might large) so I don't have a mile long talk page. Hugs, Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 02:37, 29 November 2008 (UTC)

Image

Love that image you've got in the Turkey Day Ball, m'dear, looks extremely professional. Good luck! :-) RabbiTechno 21:01, 2 December 2008 (UTC)

Thank you! I aim to offend! Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 14:13, 3 December 2008 (UTC)

The Short Bus article is hilarious too, especially the last paragraph which is one of the funniest things I've ever read on this site. RabbiTechno 12:19, 4 December 2008 (UTC)

Looks rather like you've beaten me into second place (I might not even come second, I'm too lazy to add up the acores properly). Congratulations etc etc etc! :-) RabbiTechno 17:06, 17 December 2008 (UTC)

All I did was to think what would be "Offensive" and "Relevant" in this season of Instiutionized Gift Giving? Might have worked. But now that I have been looking at the image I see many changes that need to be made. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 17:35, 17 December 2008 (UTC)

Nevertheless, it was by far the best produced in the contest. RabbiTechno 17:37, 17 December 2008 (UTC)

~Blush~ Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 17:49, 17 December 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 4th December 2008 (yea, we know it's late)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

December 4th • Issue 27 • Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

Sycamore: How does he do it? An UnSignpost Special Investigation Sycamore. What words waft gently into the back garden of your mind when you hear that word? "Tree", perhaps, or "unusual, propeller-style seeds", if you're of a naturalistic bent. Maybe (although we admit it is highly unlikely), the words "song by really obscure Scottish rock band Deckard" will sneak in under the fence. But for those of an Uncyclopedia nature (and let's face it, that should include all those reading this, or the paperbot's malfunctioning again), the words are likely to include: "Scottish"; "omnipresent"; "recent changes fiend"; "reviewer extraordinaire"; "categories"; "ban patrol"; or possibly "who?" if you're out of the loop. But who is this masked Celt? Well, since changing identity from MMACKNIGHT‎ in March 2008, he's racked up an impressive 18,000 edits (or he will have by the time this paper is actually delivered - it's hanging at 17.940-odd at the time of typing). Many of these edits have been thanklessly categorising pages, voting for deletion, reverting and ban patrolling - the kind of soul-crushing work, in other words, that would sap the will to live of the average individual, but not our Syc. His efforts have not gone un-noticed. Indeed, he's been re-nommed for Uncuclopedian of the Month, even though he's already won the award. And despite the understandable reluctance of the non-existent cabal to swell their non-existent ranks, there is a small but significant groundswell of opinion gathering that this should be followed by the bestowing of a Banhammer on the cheery Caledonian. All of this is interesting, of course, and handily fills up column inches in this week's issue, but it doesn't answer the burning question: how does he do it? Once again spending no expense on uncovering the truth, your fearless UnSignpost has the answers, and they lie in his welcome message, and a gratuitous stereotype of his nationality. Yes, Jaffa Cakes and Irn Bru are the fuel of choice of this salutary Scot, and it would appear that the chemical reaction of these two volatile substances in his bloodstream creates an energy level easily the equivalent of at least a small-to-medium Hadron Collider. This is sufficient to cause in him a state not unequivalent to that Scientific Holy Grail, perpetual motion. So there you go kids: that's how he does it! Warning: Your safety-conscious UnSignpost would like to point out that Irn Bru is only known to have this beneficial effect on Scots. Those from less tartan countries would be advised to steer well clear - don't try this at home, kids! From the Cabal's desk Greeting citizens. This post does not exist. We are not addressing you from this paper. We do not exist. We do not sit in dark corners, smoking expensive cigars and smirk when we see you make mistakes. Mistakes on this site do not exist. We do not watch your every step with our ban hammers poised for actions. Mainly because your edits don't exist. We are not tired by your petty dramas and wonder when will you write some new classics. Simply because you do not exist. You are not reading this post. We will not meet again next week. This was not the cabal's weekly address to the citizenry. Keep the peace, obey the cabal. The cabal is your friend.

Check out these pages! TKF v BHOP: an acronymious battle The inevitable bandwagon A history lesson, and RAHB's penis again From our logs BUMPER SPECIAL: 07:24, 3 December 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You've got to stop taking vacations like this. They get in the way of the valuable contributions you make to our site.) 00:40, 3 December 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Fat hideous cunt (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Codeine why are you using socks to vandalize us) 18:25, 2 December 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.146.0.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (We love niggers. My best friend is a nigger. My wife is a nigger. And when I have a son, I hope he'll be a nigger rather than an IP) 19:57, 1 December 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.184.39.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Regardless of what your girlfriends may have told you, orgasms are real) 18:18, 1 December 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Codeine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a Country/Folk musician ‎ (When I see your name on my block log, I think of a song lyric by Townes van Zandt, if that means anything.) 18:03, 1 December 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked RAHB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a penis ‎ (When I see your name in my watchlist, I think of penis. And that's not always a good thing.) 21:03, 30 November 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 30 seconds ‎ (That's for editing a year old topic and making RAHB think there was actually something exciting happening. Bastard.) 20:37, 30 November 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 30 seconds ‎ (That's for editing a year old topic and making me think there was actually something exciting happening. Bastard.) Biopic of the Week There's beautiful, there's downright gorgeous, and then, beyond even that, there's Prettiestpretty. Blessed with writing talent to rival her boundless good looks, she has edified us on the delights of the Queef, the significance of the Colossus of Barbie, and much more besides. Long may she lend her grace to Uncyc! Forgotten and so-short-it-possibly-ought-to-be-a-template page of the week Tact: Oh yeah, that Star Trek uniform is great. Have you ever thought what else you could have done with that time? I mean, like, something useful?

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MrN9001 19:06, 5 December 2008 (UTC)

A question regarding an edit...

...an edit of addition (within its own subsection, not modifying any other section or subsection, which I would be loath to do even if I were a Level 239 Dalek) which I initially made to an Uncyclopedia article Romance_novel, and was promptly edited (terminated with extreme prejudice, leaving a smoking pile of rubble and an 18 1/2 minute gap in the article where my edit had been) by a user identified only by an IP address...

...whose own addition edit was itself terminated, when a named user reverted the article to the original page.

Meanwhile, I received a message on my user page from you, offering help, and reminding me that "edits tend to be reviewed and reverted when they add little or nothing to an article."

And subsequent to this, I was invited to the Unemployment Building in beautiful downtown Burbank to meet Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, and to the upcoming Inaugural Ball, but I decided that asking you for help was more important.

First, I thought my edit was within the spirit of the article. And, based upon how my wife selects and chooses romance novels to read, not only accurate, but adding more than a little to the article. So, do you have any idea why my edit had been deleted?

Second, given the fact that an anonymous, IP addressee who had not bothered to register with Uncyclopedia removed my edit faster than my dog eats her dinner (timed at 36 seconds this evening), I presume it's still not kosher for me to revert it to the page status after my edit was posted?

Thanks!

--Theoacme 02:55, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: 11th December

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now with 20% more ninjas!

December 11th • Issue 28 • The truth, the whole truth, and nothing

Colin breaks #uncyclopedia By SysRq At approximately 7:01 EST, Colin "All your base" Heaney officially fucked everything up yet again. IRC was engaged in what started out as a naturally occurring, all-caps LOL train. However, being the little faggot that he is, Colin decided to join in, effectively making it not funny anymore. This reporter, being an expert witness in cases of dipshittery, quickly came to the conclusion that "Colin makes everything suck." However, Uncyclopedia's resident shitstain did not stop there. He proceeded to incite bizarre and violent urges within members of IRC, causing them to commit unspeakable acts. This reporter, under Colin's influence, killed both of his parents; deadpidgeon and MrN9000 both became homosexuals as a result. Colin himself was then found to have been responsible for every case of unpleasantness throughout history: the Holocaust, 9/11, and abortion. As other users unknowingly joined the channel-turned-warzone, they too fell victim to Colin's faggotry. Users were eventually transforming into furries and fucking each other with "furry Disney dicks" just before this reporter relocated to a safer distance. Needless to say, there is now sufficient evidence that everything stupid and gay and unfunny is, in fact, Colin's fault. Chicks, man. By Regret Tenenbaum Hot Chicks. Just the words start your heart racing and your mumble mumble. Hot chicks have long failed to receive the ample, under-wire support they deserve here on Uncyc, and if it were not for one, soft-drink based, visionary noob, the femmes fatales of Uncyc would still be a saggy, wrinkly mess. Now all the babes, sexy ladies, foxy chicks, MILFs, and, yes, even magical anime girls, rest in the palm of your hand, throbbing with their new-found intellectual networking - WikiProject Hot Chicks. When asked how the aforementioned n00b came up with such a brilliant idea, he responded: "I don't know what UnSignpost is, my motivation for starting U[N]:WP Hot Chicks was because I thought it was rather humorous, I would like to be adopted, and in Soviet Russia, all your base are belong to YOU !!" (Doctapeppaman was promptly given a stern spanking for such irresponsible use of memes). The project has already succeeded in tagging several sexy talk-pages with the WikiProject Hot Chicks seal, thereby rating them on a random and baseless scale from A- to D-Cup, and the project will most likely be a success, considering the high ratio of users to perverts present on the site. Perhaps, one day, the project will achieve its primary goal - making every article without enough pictures of scantily-clad women into an article about cheesecake.

Check out these pages! Have yourself a neurotic little Christmas Will anyone notice another template around here? Lawyers struggling for work in global recession From our logs: 02:14, 10 December 2008 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.142.37.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hi. Welcome to Uncyc. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay here. We did too.) 13:16, 8 December 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.43.6.211 (Talk) with an expiry time of 15 years ‎ (congratulations! You'll be back when OJ is out of prison. Let me know he gets a parole before that) Codeine (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wild sweaty orgies" (If anyone's gonna write an article about these it'll be me. I've done the research.) Biopic of the Week Far more than just a definite article, THE is a veritable cornerstone of the site, spoken of in hushed tones wherever people gather together to discuss prolific authors with ALLCAPS usernames only three letters in length. From computer expertise and nature documentaries to frankly ludicrous amounts of UnNews, THE covers all bases. And he won the WotM at the twenty-ninth time of asking in January 2008. Vital Question of the Week If we put blatant space filler in this box, will anyone notice? Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week Week Box of the week - by far the most classic Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week, "Week Box of the week", was featured in the very first edition of the Unsignpost, and for some reason that only the classic writers of the most classic Classic "...of the Week" Box of the Week know, Week Box of the week spoke not of boxes, as you weak-minded simpletons might believe, but of something higher - Dr. Skullthumper or Cajek's "humor juice".

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MrN9001 21:11, 11 December 2008 (UTC)