User:Kenvalyi/Cougar
“I had a wild cougar once. I have the scratches and bite marks to prove it.”
A Cougar is defined as a Canadian woman in her early thirties to mid-forties that still has it going on. Unlike the men her age, members of the opposite sex still find cougars sexually attractive. While the terminology is not used to descirbe women at all outside of Canada, this does not mean that those women are unattractive, or ugly, or unfuckable.
Rather women outside of Canada, are referred to as Mothers I'd like as a Friend or MILFs. These homely, plain women are not necessarily obese or moustachioed or malordous. They just don't have what it takes to be a cougar, and that is universial health care.
In the wild[edit | edit source]
In the wild, cougars must be approached with caution. While hardly an endangered species, due to the recent media spotlight on them and their less pretty, slightly out-of-shape MILF cousins, cougars can be easily scared off by poor pick-up lines, inparticular, the sausage pizza technique.
The best way to approach a cougar is by setting a trap for her with the use of a wingman. One common trap used on cougars is by placing a young man in his late teens or early twenties near a setting comfortable to the cougar. Places such as coffee bars or fitness centers are prime examples. The wingman will then approach the cougar with offers of fame, fortune, seeing her bare ass exposed all over the internets. The cougar will then mate with the young man, while the wingman will be lucky to get a tug job.
Famous cougars[edit | edit source]
- Shania Twain
- Celine Dion
- Margaret Trudeau
- Anne Murray
- Rick Mercer
- Belinda Stronach accused of joing the MILFs
