Mississippi

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Misisssissisisiisiipppi Good Ol' Misisipey
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Vitute Et Armis" Roughly translates to "Damn Carpetbaggers!"
Anthem: "Dixie"
Behold, the great Mississippian Empire
Capital	Jackoffson
Previous capital	Gaytchez
Largest city	Yup, Jackoffson again
Demonym	Uberhillbilly
Official language(s)	Mississippi Snob, Ebonics, Mexispanish, Redneck, English, Creole Vietcongese
Government	Puppet of the United States Congress, Super Republican since 2011
‑ Puppeted Lord Supreme Dicktator of the Holy Christian Lands	King Cotton himself
State Flower	Cotton
State Bird	Mosquito
Official Plant	Watermelon
State Rock	A deer camp shitter bucket (Home Depot, naturally) with a dwindled roll of yellowing half-ply dangling from the lid and a crusty bottle of 95 percent grain alcohol hand sanitizer that your brother may or may not be sneaking swigs of behind your back to the side.
National Hero(es)	Our Lord and Savior Mr. Jesús H. Christ, Mississippi governors, Jefferson Davis
Established	Somewhere in the 1700 B.C.
Currency	Cotton
Population	unknown
Area	.5 m²
Population density	Almost non-existent
Time Zone	Turn back your clocks by 200 years
Ethnic groups	•66.6% Tate Reeves lookalikes •32.0% 2nd Congressional District representatives •7.8333333% illegal Mexicans •3% Hiberno-Vietcong rice paddies. •<1% Yankees that'll leave soon enough if they know what's good for 'em
Major exports	Catfish dildos, Mississippians themselves, cotton, Type 2 diabetes, crappy blues music
Major imports	Government fundings, illegal immigrants, refugees, social welfare money, sugar
Official Sex Toy	Catfish
State Beverage	Moonshine
National animal	Catfish
National sport(s)	College football
Hours of  operation	Anytime

“I'd go there if I wasn't so busy.”

~ Liberal on Mississippi

“-Redacted-”

~ Aunt Jemima on Mississippi

Mississippi was a southern state of the United States. Considered to be fart of the mysterious Deepest South, Mississippi is believed to be home to almost 3,000,000 (and dropping) sentient Alabamians, with a couple angry Cajun communes situated somewhere between Bay St. Louis and actual St. Louis. Known on the books as the Magnolia State but in reality as

History

“And I shall create and name this land Mississippi.”

~ God

“Nah, this was me.”

~ Satan

“¿Qué mierda es esto?”

~ Hernando de Soto

Mississippi, as Fat as it should be. Come on now eat that butter

Mississippi was populated by a multitude of Native American tribes prior to colonization. The likes of the Chickasaw, the Choctaw, and the Natchez each had unique cultures and customs, which is all you have to write down for this chapter in Mississippi Studies. Oh, and they made for good county names, too.

History began in Mississippi when the eyes of Hernando De Soto set their sights on the state, realized they couldn't pass this place off as a passage to India like Columbus, and promptly turned around. The real Fountain of Youth remains hidden somewhere in the brush of Issaquenna County to this day.

Mississippi was useless to the White Man until he realized that, unlike Europe, the soil in the state actually grew crops and wasn't just loose, barren potato skin shavings peppered with trace samples of the Black Death. (for more on Black Death, turn to pretty much any other page in Mississippi's history). Thus, he introduced plantation farming and slavery to the fertile grounds on the banks of the mighty Mississippi, and set the stage for eventual modern-day Democratic political dominance in the Delta region, just as God himself intended.

While controversial from its genesis among the heavily-religious White population of the Magnolia State, the practice slavery was commonly defended with the fact that ethics and morals do not exist in the state of Mississippi. That, and the fact that the heat made many believe that they were already in Hell to begin with.

During the American Revolution, Mississippi didn't do shit.

Mississippi was admitted to the Union in 1817. Originally part of a package deal with Alabama known as the Mississippi Territory, the two were split upon admittance out of concerns that their combined karmic power would be enough to set the country's reincarnation status to "legless dung beetle".

However, this marriage was not meant to last, as some pretty unreconcilable differences rose between the North and the South as the century wore on, and Mississippi wanted to keep the kids (i.e. the little folks they didn't want to let out of the house, err, plantation). The Civil War ensued, as Mississippi split from the Union with her slavery buddies around the South and formed the Confederate States of America. Unfortunately, slaves couldn't pick cannon artillery, and the South lost the war. An embarrassed Mississippi grumbled back into the Union, promising to someday "rise again" as it settled into an uncomfortable slumber. Fortunately, such backwards ideologies seem to be a thing of the past these days, given the amount of effort today's Mississippi government puts into "Ending Wokeness."

The Civil War brought about many exciting new forms of Black freedom in Mississippi, such as freedom from not being lynched. Mississippi's White population felt so bad the way it treated its Black brethren that many of its constituents shrouded themselves in white linen sacks out of shame.

After the chaos of the war, life continued into suck by and large in the Magnolia State. Art flourished in the face of toil and trouble, however. The Delta's Black Mississippians developed the blues because they got tired of talking about how bad life was and decided to kinda sing about it while kinda still talking at the same time. White Mississippians developed country music because they hated themselves. Literary masters also became a fixture of Mississippi's culture. For instance, famed playwright and Columbus, Mississippi native (who hated his state so much that he named himself after our ugly stepbrothers to the north out of sheer spite) Tennessee Williams became known far and near for his revolutionary dramas, which focused on the sad, crappy lives of depressed Southern individuals joined by Mississippi natives who were both doubly more depressed and uniformly thinly closeted. Before Williams hit the scene, American theatre was famously bereft of sad people and gay undertones, leading to him becoming the singular most important playwright in this country's history, until CATS on a Hot Tin Roof, his failed collaboration with Andrew Lloyd Weber, irreparably destroyed his reputation.

During the mid-20th Century, Mississippi was a central hotbed of the Civil Rights Movement, but less so one where progress was made that makes state tourism department heads happy 40 years down the road and more so one where bad shit kept happening and absolutely would have kept happening if the added guise of intense media and government scrutiny hadn't eventually caused the last withering gray hair to fall from the scalp of Ross Barnett. The state during this period is probably most associated with the deaths of three Freedom Riders by the hands of county...wait, no...you've also got James Meredith and the attempted arson of an entire university over one crappin' guy...but wait, then there's Medgar Evers...but if you're gonna talk about Medgar, you've got to go back to Emmett Till...and plus, MLK at the Lorraine in Memphis could absolutely be claimed by proxy even if we'd never dare...eh, you get the point.

Eventually, the Civil Rights Act was passed, ending racism in Mississippi for good. This is where your Mississippi Studies textbook abruptly ends.

Beyond the racist stuff, recent history has been a mixed bag for Mississippi. The Magnolia State never experienced the boom that other New South-oriented states saw as they approached the millennium. Various factories have sprouted up across the state, such as the Nissan plant in Canton, the Toyota plant in Belden, and the good old fashioned depression factory in Cleveland, serving our entire population (it happen to be the Delta's second largest export, right behind wha'dya think Sherlock). However, Mississippi lacks industry at the levels present in Georgia, Texas, Tennessee, and even our worse half. As a result, the state remains as a whole agrarian, poor, unhealthy, and embarrassingly sweaty. Jackson continues to falter under unsteady leadership, a rampant crime scene, a shitty water system (which given its history might become literally just that at some point), and the nagging sound of a constant population drain (poor Lumumba can't get any sleep with that damn faucet on the fritz). The coast is still oilslick and red tide-y, gambling and a couple of rouge oyster boats subsidize the entirety of the Gulf Shore, and even Alabama taunts us every time a car passes from our interstate system, outfitted with the finest tarred asphalt 1957 had to offer, onto their sizzling pristine blacktop that keeps that Yellowhammer's highway-going chassis smooth and easy for plenty of passionate backseat loving (oftentimes involving the driver as well). However, progress is not out of the reaches of this state's denizens. Maybe.

Missippi is also adjacent to Florida

Population

As of 2025, Mississippi has an estimated population of 2,991,088. Make that 2,991,087. Let's try 2,991,086.... A good percentage of these are former slaves and unemployed plantation owners.

Racial makeup and ancestry

Until about 1940, Blacks made up a majority of Mississippians. They literally made them up - with the help of Max Factor and a lot of blush. No one knew about Botox back then.

Nowadays, Black folks still constitute about a third of the state's population, with a majority living in the Delta region, located within the vast abcess of the great Food Desert. Most are stewardesses.

During the Battle of Captain America and Captain Vietnam, some Mississippi infantrymen made friends with the Vietcong soldiers due to the hillbilly culture of both groups and the hatred each shared for the other government. As soon as the war came to a close, many of those soldiers from the Vietcong brought their families with them to live with their buddies back in Mississippi. Here, they still hate the government, but like everyone else, are just kinda bored by its impotency and ineffectiveness but not bored to an extent that would encourage any sort of vote that would entail change - just bored enough to kinda tune it all out, sit back on the porch, and complain about how truly shitty the Golden Eagles are these days.

Mississippi also has a sizable Latino contingent. Most came here looking for Florida, and decided that we were crazy enough on our own to pass well enough for the Panhandle.

The state also maintains a small Native American community and an active Choctaw tribal branch, which has managed to hold onto a couple acre's worth of reservation land around Philadelphia. Tunica hates their guts for it.

Transportation

Public transportation in Purvis, Mississippi

Mississippi was once home to a wide array of modes of transportation, from trucks to big trucks to sissy Toyota trucks to a shitton of silver CR-Vs. However, following the state's wide-scale rebuke of Trans Ideology, transportation has fallen out of favor, and now the only feasible way to get from place to place is to use the power of prayer to Biblically teleport to your destination.

Industry

Progress comes slowly but steadily in the Magnolia State.

In 2021, the Union finally won.

Mississippi has the highest brains-drained-per-capita rate in the nation,

Currently, Mississippi is home to the nation's lowest GDP. Mississippi leaders are scrambling to figure out what exactly a GDP is.

Climate

Mississippi's weather is commonly depicted in media, news, and tea leaf divinations outside of the state as being monotonously hot and oppressive. In reality, the weather of the Magnolia State is actually extremely hot and extremely oppressive, except for the months spanning from November to April, which are simply mild and oppressive, and a couple of weeks in January where some part of the state invariably gets a good freeze that incapacitates literally every utility or service you can think of and as the rest of the state gets a good 1/16th of an inch sleet dusting that shuts all schools within a 50 mile radius down for a week. In addition, tornadoes (or the threat thereof) pre-empt the primetime schedules of networks across the state every other day during the spring season, and occasionally even touch down. In fact, Mississippi is considered to be one of the epicenters of the mythical Tornado Alley, a fact which famously formed the basis of a classic Abbot and Costello vaudeville routine from 1936.

ABBOTː Did you know that Mississippi is in the Tornado Alley?

COSTELLOː No, Abbot, I did not.

ABBOTː That must be quite a surprise to you, my friend.

COSTELLOː You're right. It really blows me awayǃ

(on cue, an EF5 suddenly shears the top of the assembly hall the two are performing in right off its hinges and carries the duo and their audience away at speeds topping 185 miles an hour, severely mutiliating them in the process before slamming the two against a farmhouse three miles down the road to bring about their gruesome demise)

Aside from those caveats (as well as a couple of obligatory random cold weeks in May and hot weeks in December), it's not the heat, it's the humidity.

Politics, law and government

Senator Theodore Bilbo proposing to the Mississippi legislature to import yellow bricks from Oz to make every road in Mississippi be made out of bricks, 1929, colorized

For 116 years (from 1876 to 1992), Mississippians only elected Democratic governors. However, since Bill Clinton's blow job, the Republican Party was seen as the way to go and that was only because good old boys thought Clinton had bad aim.

Since the late 20th century, the Mississippi Legislature has focused the majority of its lawmaking efforts on ensuring that the incest jokes stay only with Alabama.

Mississippian politics may seem ineffective and backwards. That's because they are.

Currently, the Republican Party controls the state legislature, the governor's seat, both Senate seats, a bunch of other public offices like judges and crap that really shouldn't be elected on the basis of party affiliation, a bunch of uteruses, and a couple of Natty Lights that have been sitting in the fridge since Bush left office. The era of the old racist Democratic stranglehold that failed to make Mississippi anything more than a lamer punchline than Alabama is completely over, and has been replaced with the same thing but with a cute little elephant on the ticket. Of course, that's not to say that nothing gets done in Mississippi. In 2020, the ghost of George Floyd, in collaboration with a Mississippi State running back, the president of the NCAA, and the devil incarnate Joe Biden, possessed previously proud MAGA governor Tate Reeves and made him sign a bill that removed the the Confederate battle flag from the state standard, replacing it with a flag that neither infuriated nor excited anyone (except for the militant atheists, but it's Mississippi, so no one gives a goddamned shit about what they have to say.)

Mississippi is one of the most religious states in the nation. In 2004 George W. Bush placed second behind God. However, the tide in that regard is turning. In 2024, God lost Oktibbeha County by 12 votes to Trump in the general election.

Liquor laws are completely fucked up. If you plan on getting drunk on Sunday, stock up on Saturday. Many counties sell liquor but not beer, others sell beer but not liquor. Some allow beer sales, but only if it is warm beer. On some college campuses, you can drink alcohol, only if it is above 6% alcohol content per volume. So yeah, you can only drink liquor. Or Steel Reserve. If you really want to get drunk, keep on driving to Louisiana.

Note that almost every governor (I mean almost) always have a tendency to be scared of hardcore rednecks, sassy black bitches, any funding towards infrastructure and education, the state flag itself, the concept of Medicaid, and snow.

Education

Shame

Aliens visited Mississippi over 9000 years ago and quickly realized that rednecks had no understanding of the concept of time. After years of failed attempts to learn, a breakthrough was made when the aliens appealed to the self-contentedness of the settlers. To this day, the method used to teach counting seconds of time is used throughout the United States. It is spoken as follows: "One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi" and so on.

In 2004, Mississippi was ranked last among the fifty states in academic achievement by the American Legislative Exchange Council's Report Card on Education, with the lowest average ACT scores and spending per pupil in the nation. Mississippi students scored the lowest of any state on the National Assessments of Educational Progress in both math and science. (Let's see Texas try and beat us on that).

However, in the years that have followed, a dramatic turnaround has taken place in the Magnolia State's classrooms. Once at the bottom of nearly ever important education list that you don't want to be at the bottom of, Mississippi now stands proud in her position at the lower middle of such rankings. (Of course, it's because everyone else fell off a cliff during COVID while we fell off a much smaller cliff, but we'll take what we can get).

Mississippi's institutions of higher education (both traditional and euphemistic) are as follows.

Voted "Sexiest Man Alive" in the Starkville Daily News for 18 years running.

The University of Southern Mississippi (USM)ː Often referred to by many top-level scholars and graduates as really just being an extension of high school ("the 13th grade", if you will), the ungrateful roost of Seymour D. Campus's beginnings are murked with mystery and Bud Light, yet many experts agree that it was created by a group of Mississippi State dropouts who just lazily flipped the school's acronym and called it a day. USM is known primarily for crappy football, being approximately the 5th thing that comes to mind when the word "Hattiesburg" is mentioned, and its world-class volleyball stadium.

Ole Missː Founded by a group of proud stick-waving folks, Ole Miss is Mississippi's flagship institution (emphasis on flag), and the standard-bearer for her national imageː a Rebel without a cause (or a mascot). Nestled in a Memphis exurb college town with the ever-so-creative name of Oxford, The Plantation Wives are known best for their fraught history, their copious day-drinking, being in that Billy Joel song (they were the ones who actually started the fire), and Lane Kiffin's immoral fealty to Georgia, all of which are somehow intertwined like a good lower-tier William Faulkner novel (fun factː William Faulkner never existedː his likeness is a ploy by Big Ole Miss to sell more Ole Miss to the unsuspecting illiterate public).

Mississippi Stateː Alternatively known as your safe school's safe school, MSU has come a long way from its humble beginnings as a small cow patch in the middle of Oktibbeha County, and has grown to become one of the largest cow patches in the Golden Triangle micropolitan region. In StarkVegas, a vibrant metropolis whose nightlife is comparable to that of West Point or even suburban Meridian, students get excessively drunk, brew moonshine in their boots, and dry hump the bronze bulldog statues on campus.

Millsaps Collegeː Known as "The Bob Jones of the South" until the administration realized that that's not exactly a good thing, at Milsaps people actually learn things, but since the college's education is limited to either future-MBA trustfund bullshit or philosophy-English-liberal arts garbage that will qualify folks to be baristas, it doesn't really count.

Belhaven Universityː Just sucks.

Hinds Community Collegeː Found in picturesque Raymond, Mississippi, which recently topped Denmark on the World Happiness Index, HCC is considered to be one of the most storied and exclsuive institutions on the planet, rivaling the likes of Oxford and Berkeley in most modern academic rankings. Only the finest instructors and finest minds get in, and campus life is like a magical storybook wonderland. People from around the world clamor to send their children to this bastion of higher learning. Also I got laid there like a bunch.

Sports

Somebody even turned it into a flag redesign submission

The earliest known sport played in what is now known as Mississippi begins with the local Choctaws and sometimes Chickasaw tribes playing a bloody battle of lacrosse. After the white settlers drove them away, they revised the game to become football. Unsurprisingly, Mississippi does not have any professional sports (I wonder why). Instead, they resort to the pastime favorite of the college version. You know when the entire North Mississippi starts to grumble 'Hotty Toddy' and sounds of ringing cowbells. College football acts as a religion more or less a cult in particular. Both MSU and Ole Miss has been grudgingly sad for the last few seasons after their reign on being dominant in the SEC. The schools are notorious for firing numerous coaches and has been losing support. However, on every Thanksgiving night, every Mississippian (or any other MSU or any Ole Miss fans outside of Mississippi, if there's any) turns on their rundown broken TV to see the one of a kind yearly special of the Egg Bowl. Why is it called the Egg Bowl? Who knows. The Egg Bowl always begins in a mishap of tailgating on both sides and some offside predictions that does not make any sense. Usually, it'll end up either team winning the game, most likely MSU but sometimes Ole Miss, and gluttoned bragging rights for the winning team. Ever since Dak Prescott got drafted into Dallas, the whole state has the Dallas Cowboys fever. Women college basketball is also something people will come by and watch for March Madness. Otherwise, there is no interests in other sports whatsoever. Unless masterbaiting counts as one...

"Major" cities (a.k.a. small redneck towns)

Mississippi Condo Association: Saving the Earth one Trailer at a time!!

City	Description
Biloxi	Soccer Mom Karens, Casinos, Cooky Fish Scientists, and Silly Asians with a bunch of shrimp people
Gulfport	Even more Karens and casinos, hideaway capital of all Mexicans while serving as the first checkpoint of the Mexican Underground Railroad, and an international airport to nowhere
Bay St. Louis	Headquarters of Mississippi's failed "space program" and the space center where it is named after a racist senator
Tunica	More casinos that uses welfare money, cotton fields, poor and illiterate hookers, and now a perfect example of what Mississippi should and should not be
Jackoffson	It's always getting smaller, the water doesn't work, the politicians lick your boots clean for a cool 50 bucks and a pack of gum, and everyone hates each other. Funǃ
Puckett	1-A Football Powerhouse
Hattiesburg	Home of the USM Golden Buzzards, a place to party and an industrial town where it is somehow rich enough to afford a place
Purvis	Home of Justin Sellers
Tupelo	Birthplace of sex and roll singer Elvis Presley, and the only place in North Mississippi where you can see at least two buildings that are taller than the average oak tree.
Columbus	Starting point of the mysterious Golden Triangle where unknown flights from the Air Force Base goes in and out for no reason, also a hotpsot for drug usage that typically climaxes with a hallucination of Tennessee Williams pissing on your forehead.
Corinth	a fucked up place where all of Mississippi's depression comes from
Clarksdale	home of all of Morgan Freeman's illegitimate children, diehard Blues listerners
Grenada	Halfway between somewhere and nowhere and is the home to the Grenada Mafia
Greenville	Birthplace of the crack pharmaceutical industry
Greenwood	Cotton capital of the world
Indianola	A yearly Christmas store that sells overpriced roasted nuts
Vicksburg	The place that got its ass penetrated by the Union, now a boring town
Natchez	once a thriving and important city, has become one of the most rundown town and even depressing than Corinth
Starkville	Home to the State College Maroons, Starkville is known as the black hole off the SEC's map, meaning that it's hard to find and impossible to escape. Punch-drunk Sturgis rednecks with cowbells occasionally roam through the pine forests late at night. They're friendly unless you're wearing Rebel garb. Or you're a Yankee.
Oxford	Home of the Ole Miss Akbar Rebels, #1 party city in the entire nation, and known for blind-drunk white meddling students that break into William Faulkner's mansion at night trying to find his ghost (with their mangy dogs too.)
Madison	A secret white utopia protected by a barrier shield
Ridgeland	Malls, malls, malls, also a ton of health nuts and home of the infamous Barnett Reservoir where alligators, retired folks fishing, and flamethrowers are present
Carthage	The "Heart of Mississippi", has somewhat the title of the redneck capital of the world even though that should go to any place in Mississippi
Vardaman	Sweet potato fuckers
Olive Branch	Part of the Republic of Memphis, also a place where white society flees from Memphis to repopulate a dead suburb, also literal fuck ton of shopping centers and they are everywhere, the population have exploded to the point that contractors have to hire illegal Mexicans to build subdivisions
Southaven	Also part of the Republic of Memphis, same as its sister city Olive Branch except black Whitehaven citizens fled SOUTH so they can have a safe HAVEN to live at, economy and people are also booming as well that whites are even leaving the city for somewhere like Olive Branch or Hernando, just a million miles southward
Yazoo City	not to be confused with Yahoo!, or a good joke.
Macon	County seat of Noxubee County, the county's name is named after a river where it means "to stink" in Choctaw, perhaps why their football team performed worse over there
McComb	What's that? Some city that got invaded by the French Louisianan Creole bourgeoisie to take over a decimated factory belt area?
Blue Mountain	A sleepy town with a sleepy college and a bunch of gentleman callers.
Philadelphia	Not to be confused with Philadelphia in Pennsylvania, loneliest casinos in the state of Mississippi and a depressing place to go to
Pascagoula	Where 90% of the U.S. Coast Guard keeps their handy dandy tugboats at (the other 10% are at Cancún), literal translation means bread
Holly Springs	Honestly, the only thing that is known for when General Grant's wife was almost got captured there, nice town though
Ocean Springs	capital of all southern Karens
Blue Springs	In 1943-44, the Imperial Japanese Army decided to attack the American Deep South by launching an invasion through Big Sunflower River and into Blue Springs and set up a Toyota plant to manufacture tanks. However, their planned failed as the Americans swept through and kept the factory and build cars instead. A now popular memorial is held there witnessed annually by some middle and high school kids visiting a job fair.
H̶o̶t̶ ̶S̶p̶r̶i̶n̶g̶s̶	Naw thats in ArKANSAS
Meridian	Where the prime meridian passes through Mississippi, a train and carousel town, and the second checkpoint of the Mexican Underground Railroad
Laurel	Copycat of Meridian, factories dominates the landscape
Kosciusko	The 2nd birthplace of Mrs. Oprah "You Get a Car" Winfrey
Iuka	Known for Mississippi's "highest point" at 638 feet at Woodall Mountain, mountain folks who are distant relatives of West Virginia
Belzoni	Sex Toy and Catfish Capital of the World
Canton	Also in 1944, a secondary expeditionary force by the Japanese again were to take to take the strategic capital of Jackoffson through the Pearl River and while there built a Nissan plant to produce more tanks in Canton. Once again, the 155th Mississippi Auxiliary Unit captures the factory and uses it as an useless example on why Nissan is struggling to build any cars to this day.
Walnut	wait what?
Atlantis	formed by the BP Oil Spill in 2010, now discovered beneath the waves of Cat Island

Miscellaneous topics

• The Teddy Bear gets its name from a hunting trip in 1902, by Theodore Roosevelt, when Roosevelt refused to shoot a captured bear. Theodore Roosevelt was later called a sissy bitch.

• Former stoner and administrator of NASA Estil (Buzz) Aldrin is from Fayette. Educated in Mississippi and Georgia, Buzz was voted Buzziest astronaut that NASA ever turned out.

• It's a very well known fact that Alabama is very jealous of Mississippi and will often slander its name. "WE DON'T ALWAYS MARRY OUR COUSINS YOU COCKSUCKERS!" is the common rallying cry.

• In 1969, 500 angry rednecks drove into Alabama and declared war on the black people therein. After a while, they got tired, drank a shit ton of beer, ate some fried chicken, beat their wives, and hired local aliens to design and manufacture beer huggies. From this beautiful story came the evolution of NASCAR and child labor laws.

Famous Mississippians

Mississippi has produced a number of notable giants, including: musicians Elvis Presley, aka "The King of Rock n Roll", Jimmy Buffett, blues musicians B.B. King, and Muddy Waters, novelists John Grisham and William Faulkner, entertainers Oprah Winfrey and Jim Henson, actors Morgan Freeman, and James Earl Jones, playwright Tennessee Williams, alternative rock band 3 Doors Down, athletes Brett Favre, Jerry Rice, and Steve McNair and country music singers Tammy Wynette, LeAnn Rimes, Charlie Pride, Deliverance and is the home of Colonel Robert Morris and Faith Hill. (This announcement made by possible through a generous donation to the Anderson Whitman and Lewis Talent Agency). And don't forget the primary religious center of Elvisism is at Tupelo, the birthplace of the religious cult's "Second coming". Eb from green acres. And of course me.

Y'all come on back now, you hear?

Thank y'all for cum comin' to this article, and we'll hope y'all don't get killed by the unnecessary stupidity of our friendly people.

See also

• HowTo:Travel to and Through the Southern United States
• Whales
• Armenia
• Quadratic Formula
• Haiti
• Cannibals