General

A general, looking stylish.

“Charge!!!!!”

~ General on War

“As for being a General, well, at the age of four with paper hats and wooden swords, we're all Generals. Only some of us never grow out of it. These people are usually fired because they have the brains of four-year-olds.”

~ Sir Peter Ustinov

Ah, armies. Where would we be without them? (A Shithole, that's where)

And, incidentally, where would we be without leggies?

Armies don't command themselves. No, that's a job for a General. The word "General" comes from the Latin word "Generus" which in the old days meant that if you were generous with your ability to kiss butt, you would then get promoted to the position of Generus (or Generus Maximus) and then you would be able to kick butt.

Or something like that.

Meaning of the term

Generally speaking, the term is used by nearly every country in the world! And that includes Switzerland, in which the term replaced the older term knifemaster.

While historically an army rank, General is also used in many air forces, although many air forces are based on the British Royal Air Force system and use the ambiguous Air Marshal instead, with the even more ambiguous Air Officer being the generic title for general officers in these air forces. Air Officer could really mean any officer of any organization that happens to be in the air; e.g. traveling on an airplane, jumping, falling to their death, and so on and so on. This problem is eliminated with the use of the far superior rank of General instead.

Does that make sense?

If not, just go here.

General Officer Ranks

Common systems

There are two common systems of using general ranks. One came from Great Britain, and the other came from France. Then the United States of America showed up and laughed in their faces.

Old European system

Field Marshal

General

Lieutenant General

Major General

Brigadier (General)

As you can see, the top rank is not a General. The United Nations is working around the clock to fix this problem.

American system

General Electric

General Motors

Peasant

Capitalism at its finest.

As a side note, all military forces around the world recognise that the person with the largest cigar is automatically of a higher rank than anyone else. During the Napoleonic Wars, Winston Churchill actually commanded both sides due the astronomical size of his cigar. Why he continued to pit both sides against each other probably has something to do with the fact that he was drunk.