David Koch

Kochie tells another of his delightful jokes

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Karl Stefanovic?

“So he sees "Kochie is a dork" written in urine in the snow, right...”

~ John Howard on Kochie

“For the last bloody time, I'm not Kochie!”

~ James O'Loghlin on Kochie

David Koch is an Australian breakfast television "personality" who somehow manages to make his job look a lot harder than it could possibly be. He is especially well known for his jokes, which most of the time serve to send his target audience back to sleep. David Koch frequently goes out drinking with Peter Meakin, as part of an attempt to get Peter convicted of drunk driving to slowly gain complete control of the Seven Network.

Sunrise

Kochie is known to only come out of his coffin at night, to prepare for his show Sunrise, which is on way too early in the morning. After he has made his appearance he scurries back to his dark cellar, and is not heard from for the rest of the day. Kochie is also the host of The New Inventors. They may call him "James O'Loghlin" as he does this, but take a closer look.

Kochie's joke of the day

Kochie is known for his hilarious and occasionally controversial "joke of the day" on breakfast TV show Sunrise. These are usually something along the lines of:

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Because John Howard's wife is having an affair with Kim Beazley"

Kochie's best joke so far has been getting MySpace to block any links to the Seven Store as a "known spamming and phishing site". Kochie's jokes are also available in book form, and can be found in all awful good book stores. Please buy one. Please, please buy one. Don't go through MySpace.

Competition

You can either watch Kochie or this guy. This is a clever tactic designed to make you want to go to work.

Kochie's main competition is Karl Stefanovic, who co-hosts rival breakfast television show Today on the Nine Network. This has been a very tough battle, but many agree that Karl's jokes are slightly funnier, since he doesn't tell any. Still, Sunrise usually rates higher than Today, because when you're flipping through TV stations at 6 in the morning for something to completely ignore, you usually land on the "7" button before the "9" button (This is the exact same reason Today Tonight rates higher than A Current Affair). Or you could just watch the cartoons on the ABC like the rest of us normal people.

See Also

• Sunrise
• Today Show
• Actually, you only need to see one of those, it's the same show.
• Karl Stefanovic (Kochie with hair)

AustraliaSo where the bloody hell are you?