Chopper Read

This article may be Overly Australian.
Pommies may not understand funny stuff, only humour. Canucks and Yanks may not understand anything at all.
Don't change a thing and she'll be right, mate!

Hello, Hello, How the fuck are ya? Chopper Read here... euh i'm in this bloody fuckin', err, poofy Uncylo-fuckin'-peeda bullshit, to fuckin' tell you a bit about myself, and fuckin' tell you stupid little fuckin' pansy wastes of the modern day, to harden the fuck up!

Choppa, err that's Fuckin' Me[edit | edit source]

G'day, my fuckin' names Choppa fuckin'Read, and if you don't fuckin' like it, you can fuckin' get fucked. I'm a fuckin' legend in the fuckin' land down fuckin' under, err, That's fuckin' Australia to you fuckin' homosexual fuckin' wogs who can't fuckin' locate it on a fuckin' map, 'cause you fuckin' dunno where your fuckin' silly fuckin' cousin Nevel fucking Bartoss err, currently fuckin' resides.

I became a fuckin' pretty fuckin' famous cunt in fuckin' Australia back in the fuckin' 70's, when your fuckin' uncle Chop Chop, that's fuckin' me! err, grabbed a fuckin' gun, found some fuckin' greasy fuckin' wogs who needed a bit of a fuckin' air conditioning fuckin' hole put into their fuckin' heads, so yours fuckin' truly went fuckin' "BANG BANG" and fuckin' helped em out. errr that brings a big smile to ya Uncle Chop-Chops fuckin' face!

Choppa Runs The Underworld[edit | edit source]

That's right, your fuckin' uncle Choppa ran the fucking Australian underworld, until those fuckin' bastard cops fuckin' locked me up for fuckin' doing nothing. They fuckin' said I blew away a heap of fuckin' people with me fuckin' smith & westerns, but I fuckin' did no such fuckin' thing... least fuckin' none to which I fuckin' admitted to! I went to fuckin' jail for a few fuckin' years, and fuckin' ran that fuckin' place while I was in there. Fuckin' everyone was fuckin' shit scared of me, fuckin' because I'm Chopper Fuckin' Read, and if you don't fuckin' like it, "BANG BANG"! Yerr (big smiles)

Nevel Fucking Bartoss[edit | edit source]

That fuckin' peace of shit isn't worth fuckin' mentioning, so don't fuckin' ask me about him.

Eric Bana[edit | edit source]

Errr, Eric Fuckin' Bana played me in the fuckin' movie they made about my fuckin' life of a fuckin' lovable Australian who was done hard by, by the fuckin' cops, but fuck em, look at me now, I'm a famous fuckin' person, and I'm as hard as it fuckin' gets. So fuckin' hard 'n famous, that Eric Bana played me in the fuckin' movie about me.

Ronnie Johns Half Hour[edit | edit source]

Euhh, that fuckin' Ronnie fuck thinks he's so fuckin' funny, but he is only fuckin' impersonating fuckin' Eric Bana's fuckin' version of me in the fuckin' movie. And when I recently watched that fuckin' "Harden The Fuck Up Australia" DVD he did of yours truly, I found it quite fuckin' offensive that for the fuckin' 60 minutes the fuckin' show ran, he only fuckin' managed to say the word "fuck" for 45 fuckin' mins of it. I would've fuckin' had 57 fuckin' minutes of it, when I wasn't smiling with me fuckin' cock out, winking at a fuckin' sheilas.

That's fuckin' all fuckin' folks[edit | edit source]

Yeah, I reckon this has been a fuckin' good article. If you fuckin' thought it was going to be a fuckin' funny article, then fuckin' remember, I'm the real fuckin' Choppa, not that fuckin' Eric Bana or the fuckin' poof who impersonates fuckin' Eric Bana's fuckin' version of fuckin' me. Errr, If you don't like this fuckin' article, errr, fuckin' BANG, yeah.