Main Page
From today's featured article
[The Teletubbies are eating their custard breakfast]
LAA-LAA: How many pounds of custard are we talkin' here?
DIPSY: We're talking, like... at least 500 pounds of custard in that vault.
TINKY WINKY: No shit? That's a whole lot of fuckin' custard. That would do wonders for our business, man.
PO: You guys remember that motherfucker, Noo-Noo? Little vacuum thing? Baby Sun told me he's already got information regarding the joint.
TINKY WINKY: Noo-Noo? We worked with him once and I nearly fuckin' died cause of it, remember? His goddamn battery started overheating and he almost exploded! How can we be sure he's reliable for a job as big as this?
Did you know...
- ... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)
- ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
- ... that the White House is really off-white?
- ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
- ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
- ... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
In the news
- Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured)
- NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
- Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
- Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
- Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
- Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
- Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
- Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
- Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
- Santa's Elves on strike
- UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
- Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?
Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA
Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe)
On this day
April 25: National Obesity Appreciation Day (North America)
- 900 - A horde of plus-sized Vikings raid the east coast of Britain and set up a new IKEA, selling meatballs and lingonberry sauce to all.
- 1847 - The last survivors of the Donner Party are out of the wilderness. Shortly thereafter, the first McDonners restaurant opens. First item on the menu: McRib.
- 1862 - The worlds first battery operated fork is created, two million die during its first use.
- 1859 - Ground is broken for the Suez Canal. Israelis and Egyptians immediately begin fighting over who owns the hole.
- 1915 - Australians invade Turkey, but couldn't get past the smell of street kebab.
- 1921 - Fattest US president in history, William Howard Taft, eats his own ruptured spleen.
- 2016 - The International Federation of Dentists cancel all appointments for the month of August until Americans learn to floss.
Picture of the day
After tiring of bourgeois racing events such as MotoGP and Formula One, Valentino Rossi enters the competitive world of Potato Sack Racing Image credit: Sonje |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
Sister projects
-
UnNews
News on crack -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia -
Undictionary
Best left unsaid -
UnTunes
Noisy things -
UnGames
Ways to waste away -
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures -
UnBooks
Content-free books -
Unquotable
Useless misquotes -
Uncycloversity
No student loans -
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant -
UnScripts
We ruin stage too -
Why?
Because -
UnReviews
Hack frauds -
UnVoyage
Armchair travel -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,640 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
- More than 10,000 articles: Português · Boarisch · 日本語 · Polski · Plattdüütsch · Italiano · Español · Français
- More than 1,000 articles: Suomi · Dansk · Deutsch · 한국어 · 正體中文 · 汉语 · Русский · Norsk (Bokmål) · Bahasa Indonesia · Česky · ไทย · Esperanto · Ελληνικά · Nederlands · Galego · עברית · Svenska · Slovenčina · Magyar · Українська
- More than 100 articles: فارسی · عَرَبِيّ · Türkçe · Català · Norsk (Nynorsk) · Српски / Srpski · Hrvatski · Lietuvių · Latina · Tagalog · Български · Simple English · Latviešu · Mirandés · Македонски · Română · Cymraeg