User:The UnIdiot/archive

Welcome!

Hello, The UnIdiot/archive, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- General And Min. THEDUDEMAN 22:14, 29 August 2007 (UTC)

Two things

1. Don't blank other users' comments.
2. Your sig is too long. According to Uncyclopedia:Signatures, it must be shorter than 55 X's.

- The UnIdiot presents his lack of rewards and the little he has done for uncyclopedia
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And again, welcome... – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:53 Aug 29, 2007

Adoption

YES!! Yes yes yes! You've been adopted by the grand and mighty RAHB! Feel free to put {{adoptee|RAHB}} on your userpage. It is a sign of our magnificent....power, or something. Anyways, welcome to Uncyclopedia, and feel free to ask me anything on my talk page. I'll have your page watched, because i stalk all my adoptees. Also, I'm in IRC a lot, so if you have a quick question, try going there. Cheers! -RAHB 00:37, 2 September 2007 (UTC)

Thwack!! I mean, uh, thanks!

	The Led Balloon humbly thanks you for reading and voting on UnNews:Hitting children found to have positive effects on brain development.
	Remember, it's for their own damn good!

P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:52, Sep 2, 2007

Kansas

No prob. Put this code at the end of the article, and fill it with whatever you like.

*{{source|url= |title= |author= |pub= |date=Mmmmm DD, YYYY}}

Generally, we like to fill the fields with absolute BS. For the URL, put in what the article actually was you got it from, or if you didn't get it from an article, just put google or something. For title, put something relevant to your article. For author, you can make up a name, it can be silly or serious, whatever you choose. Put the date of the article where it says date, and for publisher, use either a real one, or make one up. That's about it. Any other help needed, just ask. -RAHB 00:30, 3 September 2007 (UTC)

Consider Your Penis...REMOVE'D!

THANK YOU FOR VOTING!
You voted for Why?:Remove Your Penis on VFH, and it got featured!! As a token of our humble appreciation, you receive 75% off your next Penis Removal!
Come see us sometime, the doctor would love to meat meet you.

-RAHB 03:37, 3 September 2007 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, The UnIdiot, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

---

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

---

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

---

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

---

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:35, 3 September 2007 (UTC)

Wanks

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 14:46, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

Yay!

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 01:53, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

You can has award?

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 01:44, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

And now, a Public Service Announcement

Thekillerfroggy and Doctor Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Skullthumper would like for donating to the Throws and Downs Club of America. So keep your pillows held up in your room, lock your liquor cabinet, and alert the local authorities of possible pillboxes. Only you can prevent pillow fighting!

Templates

Ah, templates, eh? Well, if you look at the code of your userpage, you'll see a bunch of bracketed words, like {{User:Thekillerfroggy/Pillow}}. Click the link, and copy and paste the code from the page into something like User:The UnIdiot/VFHTY. Then, you can dick around with the code using Uncyclopedia:Palette for colors and changing the border size around if you like. Note that you can use the code from any of the templates around that you see, but that one seems fairly simple and easy enough to modify. My templates are a bit more complex then that, so feel free to take a look at the ones I made or at those of others. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:40, Sep 14, 2007

Thank You

Please accept this offer for supporting HowTo:Deceive people on eBay on VFH

--Sir Manforman 21:01, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

PSH!

Of course you're special. Like I said, all the adoptees are being part of it. Though you're the most active one. I just wasn't planning the program yet when I got you. If you'd like to know more about it actually, I plan to have most of it done by the end of the weekend. -RAHB 05:13, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

You gosh darned cunt

You stole the base of your "thank you" template from mine. I know you did. Don't deny it. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 04:16, 16 September 2007 (UTC)

....(innocent whistle)....It was my first one... --- UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 14:23, 16 September 2007 (UTC)

My first "Thank You" template was an image made to look like a template. So was the second. The third was a poorly made table, as was the fourth. By the fifth, I had just made a generic one because I'm a lazy fuck. Do you care? Probably not. Do I care that you don't? Probably not.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 15:56, 16 September 2007 (UTC)

You, sir, are a hero!

...For voting on my page. Here, have a template.

	The Led Balloon thanks you for voting on Volcano, and hopes that you now know better than to try and reason with geology.
	Friggin' geology...

P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:26, Sep 16

Would You?

Hey dude I just made an article called Buster Keaton I was wondering if you would review it in the Pee Review, I would greatly appreciate it.--Dr. Fenwick 23:04, 19 September 2007 (UTC)

Sure --- UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 22:56, 21 September 2007 (UTC)

Thankies MacThanksALot

	The Led Balloon thanks you for nuking the whales, and hopes that you will nuke the whales again with him sometime very soon.
	Remember: Fuck the hippies, nuke those whales!

Thanks again for the nom, P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:15, Sep 27

Thank ya, sir and or maadam.

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 23:25, 27 September 2007 (UTC)

Comrade

Thank you for supporting me for dictatorship at the VFS. Now my diabolical scheme for domination can commence. You Are A True Comrade. ~

Prepare for the thanking of your life!

Prepared yet? TOO LATE!

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a free sample of Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, for voting for Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A.
	What a mouth-full...

Thanks for nomming and voting for the page with the ridiculously long name! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:07, Oct 3

I'm gonna kick your butt! [beats The UnIdiot to a pulp] -Flatts 05:24, 3 October 2007 (UTC)

You're a loony! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 19:43, Oct 3

UnNewsAudio

Just wanted to let you know, I notice your contributions. Thanks for helping make UnNewsAudio evil. Oh, and what's the deal with the bass? Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 12:22, 3 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for noticing me! Your audios are mucho goodo. I do the bass because it make me feel like a bigger man than the people with the generic UnNews theme song. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 19:46, Oct 3

Thanks for the vote

Thank you for voting on my first article! Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 03:03, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks N' Stuff

Thanks for the Ninja star. And I've made another article UnNews:Aide Sent to Guantanamo Bay After Interrupting Bush's "Important Presidential Work" it sounds good but i think its just lacking something. --Moneke 09:41, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

I'll take a look at it - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 18:09, Oct 6

A poor attempt at whoring

I thought I'd have a go at this "whoring" that seems so popular. I'm not doing a very good job at it, to be honest - I have much to learn from your skills, obviously. I'm probably too polite. But anyway, I'm hoping that you'll think I've done a decent job with my article Shopping list, and will be moved to vote for it. That's about it really, tatty byes! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 10:22, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

WHORE WHORE WHORE! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 15:31, Oct 8

Such a strange sensation. And yet it seems to work. My god, the possibilities... --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 19:11, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

A better attempt at thanking

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 16:42, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

After the whoring, the thanking

The list to the left contains all the thanks you could ever need. It also contains the names of all those who voted for Under User's article shopping list. And it contains 94 other items. Perhaps you'd like to spot them if your sudoku was too easy today?

Glad you liked the attempt, also glad you liked the article! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 15:22, 11 October 2007 (UTC)

hey

k thx bai Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 08:14, 12 October 2007 (UTC)

UNIDIOT!!!!!!!!

Thanks!!!!!!! --THE 12:55, 14 October 2007 (UTC)

Re: Hey...

Oh, man, I'm sorry. I was just trying to be funny with my comment. On voting twice, I have no idea if I can or not! Somebody will delete my vote if I can't. --  Le Cejak • <-> 20:18, 16 October 2007 (UTC)

Oh the comment is fine, it's just that the score went down when you commented! So it counted as an against, and I'm pretty sure you can't do that if you voted for someone else! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 20:24, Oct 16

Oh, go ahead and revert it then, it's fine. --  Le Cejak • <-> 20:30, 16 October 2007 (UTC)

Will do! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 20:50, Oct 16

meh

Atomic Disturbance has awarded this person a RANDOM SUBATOMIC PARTICLE. Mainly because he gets them for free.

-Thanks for the nom. Also: Exciting developments to happen on my userpage soon. (We are sorry for the inconvenience. Also: Ladies, stay away from the crew as we can't guarantee an undisturbed labia should you venture too close. Also: Watch for falling rocks and plutonium. Also: (c) 2007 Baka Consutuructionu.-- 20:40, 16 October 2007 (UTC)

You friggin' Idiot!

Er, wait, it's UNidiot, yes? Anyways, award for the idiot!

	The Led Balloon thanks you for voting on that UnNews... the one about that guy... Oh, what's his name again?
	Ah well, it's not important. Thanks for voting!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:20, Oct 17

HowTo:Get out of Jail

Hi, I know you were doing an audio for this article, can you also support this on VFH? Thanks--Sir Manforman 21:09, 17 October 2007 (UTC)

Oh yeah the audio might have to wait until the weekend, my recording computer is doing wierd things and I think I need a new IDE cable. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 21:13, Oct 17

A friendly notice

During the creation of a thank-you template, shouldn't you link to the correct article being featured? Your thank you template for HowTo:Be safe with guns links to UnNews:Iran to invade Iran. Whoops! Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 00:36, 19 October 2007 (UTC)

haha you caught me. I reuse templates! Time to fix it! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:37, Oct 19

N0v1ce mistake, U.I. Someday you'll get it right... sigh... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:39, Oct 19

Yeah, even after I told you, it was still screwed up. Had to go fix it myself. Noob. Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 00:44, 19 October 2007 (UTC)

Heh, your userpage link is still broken. The UnIdiot, not TheUnIdiot. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:45, Oct 19

That's what happens when I'm on my pentium 3 laptop! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:47, Oct 19

Dear UnIdiot or Current Resident,

You recently sent me a thank you template commending me for voting on on of your articles, HowTo:Be safe with guns. In small text beneath, you thanked me for putting up with your vote-whoring. Howsabout we strike a deal. I vote for you on WHotM, and you vote on Uncyclopedia:VFH/Toaster. Strike yer fancy? You can answer on my talk. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 19:43, 19 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks a lot! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 19:49, 19 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

Thank you, good sir, for realizing the importance of right arrow!

You have been singled by Doovad, yes indeed, DOOVAD, as deserving of thanks!

May your arrows always point in the "right" direction (punny!) and may you carry these lessons with you forever!

Thanks for the vote.

---

Thanks for voting for right arrow! You deserve this crappy template! -- Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 02:29, 20 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

-- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  12:42, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

The Results Are In!

Ok. Let's take a look at the statistics here:

1. 6 featured articles (and another on VFH)
2. Noob Of The Month Award
3. Article Narrator Of The Month Award the same month
4. On your way to getting Emmanueal Goldstein Award, as well as Foolitzer, as well as a second ANotM
5. 18 Uncyc audios
6. Associating with cool Uncyclopedians, like RAHB
7. Got congratulated by Zim, one of the greatest honors of existence
8. Frank Zappa fan
9. F'ing Metal!!!
10. ....
11. Profit!

In my humble opinion (which is the deciding factor of any question ever posed to society), you've more than earned this.

This user has graduated from the adoption program! Kudos! from RAHB.

Congratulations! -RAHB 05:20, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks RAHB! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 18:40, Oct 24

No problem, you earned it. -RAHB 19:40, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

FYI

You really oughta do something about this. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:05, Nov 2

Hello, USERNAME, and welcome to the non-automated Thank You messaging system!

Forgive the awfully mechanical introduction, I swear this Thank You is entirely personal, spare this introductory sentence. UnIdiot, since you've joined this site, you've done several memorable things. I'm here to only acknowledge what is arguably your greatest accomplishment of all: your vote for me on UotM. Thanks a hubbub and a hubcap! PS: Did Mo9P's vote get lost in the mail, or something...? -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 01:32, 2 November 2007 (UTC)

Nobody cares about Mo9P's vote. Your Welcome! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:34, Nov 2

NP, NP

Looks like Carmine got some more pics too while I was gone! Barcode711 05:31, 4 November 2007 (UTC)

Feel the power of science!!

	The Led Balloon has awarded with the gift of sciencey knowledge, because he can already tell that you are smarter than that asshat judge was.
	Thanks for voting, and remember, magic science is all around us!

Thanks for the vote, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:22, Nov 12

No worries dude!

No rush! I know the strains work can have on solid uncyc time! Don alun 10:31, 12 November 2007 (UTC)

Trick or treeeeat!

"Please ma'am, hand over the deed. No ma'am, I'm not joking, I'm somber, which is the only emotion I'm capable of experiencing." Ooooh...too bad about your house...still, thanks for voting for UnNews:Record percentage of children dressed up as mortgage foreclosure bankers this Halloween!

Thanks for the vote! Oh, and I saw the "you gosh darned cunt" section above, and would just like to say that I, too, stole the formatting for my first "thanks for the vote" template from someone else, and all my subsequent templates I based off that first one I stole. I'm still fairly wiki-formatting illiterate :) --THE 19:54, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

That's how everyone does it. All of my templates are based off one that I stole from NeedABrain/HerrDoktor. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:02, Nov 15

My recent ones have been based off Led's - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs -22:43, Nov 15

It's some fantastic code. SO, are you gonna change your userpage? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:44, Nov 15

Actually I'm working on the new one right now! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs -22:46, Nov 15

Yay! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:46, Nov 15

Hmm...mind if I tweak it? I just think it should be longer. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:54, Nov 15

Sure, I'm still trying to make it more blankish. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs -22:56, Nov 15

I recommend this and this. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:02, Nov 15

I changes my idea, I like my new idea better! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs -23:15, Nov 15

The villains begrudgingly thank you

Thanks for the votes! Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 03:34, 17 November 2007 (UTC)

Adopt me??

Hello, since I know you're adopting, could you adopt me? I read How To Be Funny and Not Just Stupid and a few of the links on the left sidebar. I don't have any complete articles so far, though I started There, Iowa but was deleted because it wasn't complete. I'm working on it offline along with some other articles that I'll move here to Uncyc when they are complete. Thankies--AE 00:00, 26 November 2007 (UTC)

Sure thing!

This user has been adopted by The UnIdiot.

- UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:07, Nov 26

Thanks.--AE 00:08, 26 November 2007 (UTC)