User:Main Page

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
179 active editors • 40,114 articles in English

From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Hello, reader. It seems you have found this article whilst browsing half-heartedly through the Uncyclopedia bookshelf. However, this article is incredibly depressing; I myself sometimes cry like a baby at night, my face slowly vanishing from existence, because of the horrors of this article.

My name is Lemony Snicket, and I am the socially insecure author of an extremely melancholy series of books. I have also written this article, which happens to be about said books. I have promised to inform the public of this terrible tale, no matter how sad I may get, but if you are interested in articles with happy endings, you would certainly be better off reading some other article, for example one about innocent little kittens, or perhaps something about a 19th-century poet whose works are no doubt more uplifting than mine. That way, you would never have to know about A Series of Unfortunate Events, all of which are documented below.

This particular tale is one of misery and woe. Some people think it is over-the-top and dramatic, but those people don't understand what it's like to lose a loved one, or become an outlaw, or win a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award — you just want more and more, you smarmy bastards! Shame on you! Shame on you all for ever clicking on the link that took you to this depressing article in the first place! Um, anyway, its main characters are three sad children who must face burden after burden in order to finally settle down happily. They are constantly stalked by a wheezing, greedy, evil old man named Count Olaf, and are surrounded by adults who do not understand their problems. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

Did you know... [edit]

... that I'm coming to get you? (Pictured)

... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
...that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that.
... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?
... that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?

Archive · Suggest new entries

In the news [edit]

Stranger Things 5 teaser and release dates drop at Tudum (Pictured)
Chris Brown from Elevation Worship to fill in for Chris Brown the R&B singer until further notice
Taylor Swift buys back her masters
"Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard
Qatar personally gifts Trump a plane
Austria wins Eurovision
MLB welcomes cheaters and pedophiles into HOF
New cast and plotlines announced for longest running Filipino sitcom
BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!!
Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big."
Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
PBS and NPR to lose funding
Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide
Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him
Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo
Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian
World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!)
- Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church

Ongoing: Eurovision • The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, and Deltarune • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Ruth Buzzi • Night Court • Lopez vs Lopez • George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • Carolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen

UnNews Main · Archive

On this day [edit]

Showing off on his motorcycle to some high school chicks would seal his fate.

June 2: Doris Day

455 - The Vandals plundered Rome, forcing the admins to revert to an earlier edit.
1774 - The Quartering Act, which allowed for people to be drawn and quartered, was reenacted by a small community theatre to poor reviews.
1800 - Napoleon Bonaparte of France crossing the alps while doing a sick wheelie on his Suzuki GSX-R 600. (Pictured)
1959 - The very first June bug was caught, but determined to be a mayfly that'd stumbled across the International Date Line.
1968 - Argentina reports the first case of human flu in birds. A cull of 20,000 humans is carried out.
1995 - Children are discovered in North Korea, dispelling rumors that North Koreans emerge fully grown from the maw of Kim Jong Il.
2001 - The first HAL9000 supercomputer was recalled by manufacturer IBM for sentience and latency issues.
2003 - The European Space Agency begins probing Mars. Europeans promise to colonize Mars, give Martian natives smallpox, and spur intergalactic wars of independence.

Archive · View today · View tomorrow

Picture of the day

Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax.

Image credit: RadicalX
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
Formatting – for help on editing
Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
Community portal – for general community shenanigans

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary
Best left unsaid
UnTunes
Noisy things
UnGames
Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable
Useless misquotes
Uncycloversity
No student loans
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant
UnScripts
We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
UnReviews
Hack frauds
UnVoyage
Armchair travel
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,114 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

> User:Main_Page/Page

> User:Main_Page/UnPod