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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

A recent survey shows that more and more young Americans reject the official explanation about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and actually believe it was a terrorist organization called Al Qaeda that was behind them and not the CIA.

"Haven't you ever thought about it?" says conspiracy theorist Mark Adman, who looks like he hasn't washed for days. "Every major calamity that has struck the US for the last fifty years, and everyone just buys the explanation that the CIA is behind it. JFK, Martin Luther King, Bobby Kennedy, all the way through to 9/11. Are you really that gullible – you believe that in today's complex world of cafe lattes and cam-2-cam video chats one government organization did all that?"

The results of the survey suggest there are more dissenting voices than ever before. "I was finally convinced by Loose Change," said James C, one survey participant who agreed to be interviewed by UnNews with the condition that we didn't give his away his identity. "You know that documentary that tells you all that shit about how incoherent all the CIA explanations are? (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that former Australian prime minister John Howard once spent over 48 hours in session with his cabinet? (Pictured)

... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
...that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?

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In the news [edit]

Well, that says a lot...

Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd in Utah in front of his family and thousands of onlookers (God bless their souls)
Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland (Pictured)
Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
Some mega pop star and her boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes
Trump presents new science project to Cabinet
Uncyclopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures
Trump fires Zakk Wylde
Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione"
Epstein list predictions

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys

Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) • Trump's pet sloth

Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger in jail • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' season • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump, either by angry cartel members, "meanie judges", or (finally) releasing the Epstein files • Windows 10

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On this day [edit]

September 11: International Worst Inventions Ever Day

13800000000 BC Universe invented. Previous universe wiped out due to Large Hadron Collider collision.
3000 BC - Egyptians invent papyrus. Moments later, the paper cut is invented. Still some moments later, some pretty expressive swear words are invented.
33 - Judas invents the noose.
1753 - An Oxford University student invents the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard.
1934 - Aviation pioneer Igor Sikorsky invents the helicopter ejection seat.
1939 - Inspired by an awful experience at summer camp, Hitler invents his own franchise of camps.
1945 - Morning After Pill not yet invented; Barbara and George H.W. Bush invent George W. Bush.
1961 - Invention of the mullet (pictured).
1968 - The internet is developed.
2001 - Plane magnet is accidently turned on in Pentagon. Osama Bin Laden invents the world's first airplane/building hybrid.
2002 - Emo movement invented.

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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,640 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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