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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

On Tuesday, September 11, 2001, a Special Unit of Osama Bin Laden's TerrorCo company (owned by Al-Qaeda); employed 19 people to supposedly fly four commercial passenger jet airliners into buildings, the Pentagon and farm land to accomplish one of the biggest life insurance scams, false-flag operations and inside jobs the world has ever seen. On that infamous day, a total of 2,997 people died – including the 19 terrorists – four planes became unusable, some skyscrapers fell like pancakes and a large swath of grass in Pennsylvania became littered with shrapnel and corpses. Worse than that, a thousand people's plane tickets suddenly became useless (there is little sign of refunds ever given) and millions of people were unable to fly. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that in Rhode Island any marriage where either of the party is an idiot and/or lunatic is considered null & void? And therefore, almost everyone in the state is, technically, a bastard? (Pictured)

... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?

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In the news [edit]

Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Trump joins in for threesome, blows load
- Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out
Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing NBA Finals they would have lost anyways
Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
Taylor Swift buys back her masters
"Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran peace talks

Recent deaths: Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly ~~Stallone~~ Stone • Brian Wilson • Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's chance at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices

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On this day [edit]

June 26: Onanism Day

1924 - American troops leave the Dominican Republic after drinking all of their rum and horchata.
1948 - In response to the Berlin Blockade, allied fighter planes drop cans of food to mock starving communists who don't have can openers.
1960 - Madagascar gains its independence from France after France discovers they still owned Madagascar.
1963 - John F. Kennedy accidentally declares his solidarity with the citizens of Berlin after trying to express his love for jelly donuts.
2000 - Pope John Paul II reveals the third secret of Fátima: "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."
2002 - The exact day and year you should have resumed masturbating after 9/11.
2015 - The U.S. Supreme Court rules masturbation to be "totally straight and not gay at all, fuck you Kevin."

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Picture of the day

Islamic extremists are unsure how to react to this sketch of what may or may not be the back of Mohammad's head.

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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