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From today's featured article
The Metalheads are an ethno-religious tribe and primitive forerunner of the human race that display heightened levels of aggression, exceptional constitution, narrowmindedness, and a strong affection for loud, violent, evil-sounding, vaguely otherworldly (Brutal) music. They are widely accepted, by most academics, to be the basis for Gods and supernatural deities in all popular religions. While the average Metalhead sees himself as a rock god, the average person sees a woman in bad need of a new wardrobe. However, this dreaded aperture when presented on stage begins to shine like gold in the form of sounds manipulated via surprising mental and physical manual dexterity. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
- ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory?
- ... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
- ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
- ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? I always get the Richard Nixon mask!
- ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
In the news
- United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins
- Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Trump joins in for threesome, blows load
- Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out
- Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
- Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
- Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
- THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
- Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
- New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing NBA Finals they would have lost anyways
- Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
- Taylor Swift buys back her masters
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran peace talks
Recent deaths: Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly Stallone Stone • Brian Wilson • Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's chance at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices
On this day
June 30: Dare A Younger Sibling To Eat An Insect Day (pictured)
- 3000 BC – Cain dares Abel to eat a scorpion. Abel does, and falls dead. Cain tries to explain it was an accident, but nobody will listen.
- 1500 BC – Aaron dares his younger brother Moses to eat a scarab beetle. Moses does so, and the gritty taste convinces him to lead his people from Egypt.
- 1859 – Oscar Wilde, despondent over not having a sibling to dare to eat an insect or be dared to eat an insect by, consumes an earwig.
- 1921 – U.S. President Warren G. Harding appoints former President William Howard Taft to the Supreme Court, after Taft successfully attempts to eat a small quantitiy of mosquitoes.
- 1959 – American actor Vincent D'Onofrio is born, paving the way to a career of acting as though he had just accepted a dare to eat a rather nasty-tasting insect.
- 1971 – Ohio ratifies the 26th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, lowering the voting age to 18, and lowering the threshold at which younger siblings are no longer required to accept bug-related dares to 16.
- 1999 – The Court of Bermuda sentences Erik Deli to death for putting mosquito paste on his younger brother's sandwich.
Picture of the day
Cliff Williams of popular music combo AC/DC seen here practising his scales on his custom bass guitar. This bass couldn't produce any tunas, or even any tunes. Image credit: Col.swordman |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,261 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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