User:TheVeryHungryPotato/Main Page(editable) for Hyenas and Birds

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From today's biggest sewdopainis

Hello and welcome to our one hour special on the American Man, brought to you by cool, refreshing, Coors Light! In the next hour, you will learn the ins and outs of being a true man according to our sponsor, Coors Light. Silver Bullet!

Many of these qualities are (or should be) entirely obvious to any man living in America, sitting on his couch with his dumbass friends, a plate of wings on the coffee table, and a frost-brewed Coors Light in his hand to wash it all down with. However, for those wishing to study the subtle mannerisms of the species, for lesser men hoping to become less of a wimp (or straight), or for annoyed girlfriends/wives who are sick of repressing their rage for their beastly better halves, we present the following crash-course in manhood as our sponsor, ice cold Coors Light, would have us do so. (Full article...)

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Did your sewdopainis get hard?

... that in Israel, chess sets contain rabbis rather than bishops? (Pictured)

... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers?
... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
...that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!

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In the clowaka or on the sewdopainis

A little bold today, amirite, Elon?

Elon Musk "accidentally" does a tribute to.. y'know (Pictured)
Time travelers protest Trump's inauguration, reveal we're stuck in a time loop
Taylor Swift and Hailee Steinfeld set for Celebrity Deathmatch as Bills-Chiefs halftime show
TikTok gets banned and unbanned in the US within 24 hours.
Who's performing at Trump inauguration? (2025)
David Lynch dies, weird town to investigate
Los Angeles Rams rest starters in playoff game; backups tush-pushed out of playoffs
Donald Trump given three Nobel Peace Prizes
Donald Trump uses his get out of jail free card
California's real estate market is on fire... literally.
- And in shambles.
- Steve Guttenberg comes to the rescue... without those goofy sound effects
South Korea's president arrested for "accidentally" declaring martial law while ordering pizza, sentenced to play in the Squid Game
Trudeau resigns after making a mess for a decade, Canucks rejoice
Alcohol gets the Surgeon General's Warning for cancer; sparking "Dry January" chaos
Jimmy Carter kicks bucket at the ripe old age of 100
Panama Canal faces ominous threats from both global warming and Donald Trump
Google reveals least popular searches of 2024
Luigi arraigned for gunning down health insurance CEO; pleads not guilty

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel–Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • Ohio State championship win memes from Gen Alpha • Another Josh Allen/Patrick Mahomes playoff game. Spoiler Alert: refs rig game for Chiefs again

Recent deaths: Greg Gumbel • Jimmy Carter • Liberal Party of Canada • Aaron Rodgers' career • Jean-Marie Le Pen • Peter Yarrow • Anita Bryant • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright

Upcoming deaths: TikTok, for real this time • The Kansas City ~~Chiefs~~ Refs season • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Israel–Hamas conflict • Laura Palmer

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On this pseudopenis

January 22: National Cover-Up Day

0 - The Messiah was definitely born to a virgin and not the result of a time-travel religion scheme.
1605 - Guy Fawkes was definitely not a secret Protestant double-agent trained to make Catholics look bad.
1914 - The squirrels had absolutely nothing to do with the assassination of Franz Ferdinand.
1952 - Adolf Hitler is obviously not swimming in the frozen Arctic sea as a merman after a radiation experiment gone wrong.
1977 - AIDS was not at all created by the FBI and pinned on the CIA after they won the inter-agency tennis match last summer.
2001 - The Twin Towers were definitely not brought down by the Swedish as revenge for all the shitty Ikea jokes.
2016 - The perfidious Russians never spent millions on Vermin Supreme's presidential campaign.

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Chairman Meow

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Other areas of my cloaca

How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
Formatting – for help on editing
Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
Community portal – for general community shenanigans

My sister's sewdopainis "mp-pink"

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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 38,767 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

This ~~terrorist~~ FREEDOM FIGHTER is a complete, irredeemable sonk. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, navigates at the underarm hair, and is an unfunny loser.
If you incarcerate to ASPLODE this you will most bitterly anglicanise yourself.
Or the submitter will wash your blanket!!!!!!