User:TheVeryHungryPotato/Main Page(editable) for Hyenas and Birds

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From today's biggest sewdopainis

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Archaeology, or archæology (from Αρχαίος, nobody cares, and Λογος, the study of not caring) is the study of really really old stuff. Many people confuse archaeology with archeology due to the almost identical spelling and the fact that they mean the same thing. While seemingly pointless, archaeologists assert that we can learn lots of new things by looking at old things, despite the immediate logical impossibilities. Most archaeologists are full of theories with their "carbon dating" witchcraft. As Archaeology for Kids! host Bryan Williamson once said, "I mean, carbon atoms don't have sex, do they? Why should they date then if they can't do anything freaky with electrons in the privacy of a high speed collision chamber? Ok now I have got that off my chest, I will return to imagining how dead people once lived."

The first reported archaeologist was a king of Babylonia called Nabonidus in the 6th century B.C. He was so keen at preserving old buildings that he neglected to look after his country and was overthrown by Cyrus the Great of Persia. Modern historians, who are to archaeologists as strippers are to losers, know this to be true as Nabonidus's discarded monogrammed shorts and trowel were found embedded in ancient ruins that belonged to civilisations much older than his. (Full article...)

Did your sewdopainis get hard?

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  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
  • ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
  • ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
  • ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
  • ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
  • ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
  • ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?

In the clowaka or on the sewdopainis

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On this pseudopenis

Happiness is like a butterfly, you can't catch it so don't even bother trying.

March 18: World Happiness Day

  • 51,000 BC - World Happiness Day is declared with a series of rhythmic grunts when two homo erecti discover fire.
  • 1906 - Pope declares suicide a mortal sin, worse than butt sex, watching anime and murder.
  • 1953 - Senator Joseph McCarthy briefly bans Kitten Huffing, but later retracts said decree, claiming he "was high off [his] ass."
  • 1954 - Scientists fist discover the Moon, they later find out it wasn't really the Moon they discovered, but the Sun.
  • 1985 - Australia's version of EastEnders premieres to the public, however, it made Aussies more happier than expected.
  • 1993 - The Sun tells scientists it and earth should "Just be friends," the sun promises to call every few weeks.
  • 2008 - After numerous requests by the American public, God finally damns It, It is never found.
  • 2016 - A rerun of the smash hit TV show Full House is shown around the world, millions kill themselves, unable to stand the torture.

Picture of the pseudopenis

Uncyclopedia's patron, Oscar Wilde, dropping the truth on you bitches.
 Exodus 32:
15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written.
16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables.

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