User:TheVeryHungryPotato/Main Page(editable) for Hyenas and Birds

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From today's biggest sewdopainis

WonkerTaxFraud.png

Have you, dear reader, found yourself chained to an aging confectionery monstrosity, its pipes wheezing, its vats bubbling ominously, its accountants sobbing quietly in the walls? Has a government man (always beige! always damp!) slid a letter under your door explaining that thirty percent of your life’s work now belongs to them?

Thirty percent!

That’s not a tax, that’s getting bent over and done up your rear!

*tips hat, snaps cane against the floor*

Fear not. Willy Wonker is here. And I assure you, I have handled this exact situation with the grace of a ballerina and the ethics of a feral raccoon. (Full article...)

Did your sewdopainis get hard?

Napalmdeath shane1.jpg
  • ... that there's only one way to party? (Pictured)
  • ... that Earth is the best planet in the world?
  • ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
  • ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
  • ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
  • ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
  • ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?

In the clowaka or on the sewdopainis

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Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirementRavens fans hiding in a corner after yet another choke

Recent deaths: Doug DimmadomeZed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal FarmKansas City Chiefs' season • Rob ReinerBowen Yang's tenure on SNLDallas Cowboys' season • Patrick Mahomes' backup's ACL

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • Indianapolis Colts' and Baltimore Ravens' seasons • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCardDick van Dyke, eventually • 2025

On this pseudopenis

Simply stunned at his victory.

December 28: Penis Appreciation Day (Not Lesbos), Day of the Not-so-Innocents (Spain, Portugal, South America)

  • 23 - Penis apreciation day invented by Jesus. Not realising his mate Judas and the entire roman army was less well hung he would regret it one day.
  • 1963 - Paul Hindemith's pancreas explode, killing him a second time and 36 others a first time as he flew over Lakewurst, New Jersey. The music community rejoices once more.
  • 1969 - Santa Claus' funeral is held. Millions mourn.
  • 2004 - Deciding they also liked Mondays superheroes planned a combined assault on Bob Geldoff. After an hour of the Hoff's singing and Mr T's pittying the devastating blow came when Darth Vader told Geldoff who his father was. This caused him to spontaneously combust all over Pauline Fowlers scowl.
  • 2006 - Uncyclopedians lose count at the sheer number of anniversaries with Penises in them.
  • 2007 - World economy goes into meltdown as penis appreciation day lasts until August 15th 2008. This only ends when lesbians attempt to seize control of the earth. Millions would die in the conflict
  • 2009 - It is rumoured that Bob geldoff will return to fight the final battle between good and evil one day. The Vatican, the CIA and Micheal Stipe all deny this.

Picture of the pseudopenis

SwineFlu
Once the pharmaceutical companies had porked the porcine strain with mother's classic formula, the only epidemic plaguing the world was terrible, terrible puns.

Image credit: Lemsip for providing the original and me for editing as well as coral for letting me edit it.
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Other areas of my cloaca

My sister's sewdopainis "mp-pink"

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Foreign cloacas"mp-pink"

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