User:TheVeryHungryPotato/Main Page(editable) for Hyenas and Birds

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Charlie Kirk was a right-wing political activist, master(de)bater, possessor of the world's largest non-equine set of gums, and penitent God-fearer. He was best known for being a follower of Christ, having a perfectly proportioned smile, and for founding Turning Point USA, a conservative advocacy group which sought to bridge the political divide wrecking our nation by browbeating and clip-farming America's most retarded liberals for social media clout. His viral debate clips garnered tens of millions of views, and his staunch defense of pro-life, pro-gun, and pro-America viewpoints earned him comparisons to the inimitable William F. Buckley Jr., minus the part where he was a closeted homosexual. An ardent supporter of President Donald Trump, he dedicated his life to spreading the Judeo-Christian values of free expression, America First, and branded hat salesmanship. (Full article...)

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... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?

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Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured)
BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland
Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.

Recent deaths: Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated 4K Director's Cut • Trump's pet sloth • Joe Burrow's toe • Robert Redford • Baltimore Ravens' morale • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Windows 10

Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • Cowboys', Bengals' and Ravens' season • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom

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October 15: Opening Day of Hunting Season for Mimes (United States)

1804 - The first mime turns up in France.
1914 - Mime hunting season initiated to control the number of mimes.
1976 - Massacres and bloodbaths occur on the streets of France. Mimes nearly go extinct. The world rejoices.
2003 - PETA argues that the mime problem should be solved humanely, by imprisoning them in invisible boxes.
2004 - A disgruntled mime uses a magnum to "remove" any extra mimes in the area, he is promptly arrested. Apparently the mime wasn't using a silencer.
2006 - Vice President Dick Cheney shoots a mime in the face in a hunting "accident."

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How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
Formatting – for help on editing
Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
Community portal – for general community shenanigans

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