User:TheVeryHungryPotato/Main Page(editable) for Hyenas and Birds

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From today's biggest sewdopainis

Sick Orchids.jpg

Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.

Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)

Did your sewdopainis get hard?

Barenaked Denver-Broncos.jpg
  • ... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured)
  • ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
  • ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
  • ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
  • ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
  • ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
  • ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
  • ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?

In the clowaka or on the sewdopainis

Norris4.jpg

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller

Upcoming deaths: Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity

On this pseudopenis

Ah shit where'd I put that screwdriver?

March 24: International Do-It-Yourself Day

  • 1857 - Oscar Wilde pens his story The Soul of Man under Socialism while under something else.
  • 1943 - Jackson Pollock unveils his long-awaited third exhibition, featuring the classic Angsty Orange Tiger.
  • 1964 - The ping pong incident occurs at my high school, and will torment me for over forty years until my son avenges me.
  • 1991 - The first child is admitted to the hospital for Phonics addiction in the beginning of a nation-wide pandemic, resulting in thousands of kids becoming 'hooked'.
  • 1994 - Kitty porn makes its first appearance on the primitive internet.
  • 2007 - The first human trials of Neuroipods suffer drawbacks when a vast majority of test subjects contract iEllepsy.
  • 2010 - Sarah Palin kicks off the first annual Alaskan Sasquatch Appreciation Day.

Picture of the pseudopenis

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Other areas of my cloaca

My sister's sewdopainis "mp-pink"

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