User:TheVeryHungryPotato/Main Page(editable) for Hyenas and Birds
From today's biggest sewdopainis
It’s nothing personal, it's just business. I mean, I don’t hate you; I just have to put an ice axe in your head, in the nicest way possible. Try and see it as a friendly ice axe.
I mean I hope we can still be friends once this is over. It would be a shame for us to fall out over such a small pointless thing as me embedding a large piece of metal into your skull. Life’s too short for that. In your case that’s particularly true, since you’ve got about five minutes left. I’m just looking for the bleach, Mr. Muscle, I hear it’s good on brains. Don’t want to leave any stains on your furniture; after all, I am a guest here. I know you wouldn’t just walk into my house and butcher a pig on the sofa. It would be impolite. I do want to be considerate. I’ll leave your house just as I found it, there might even be time to do a little dusting, and I’ll remember to set the burglar alarm before I leave too.
Oh and before I forget, do you want me to make some sandwiches? It's just your friends the police will be coming around later, and I know you wouldn’t want them to go hungry, not after you’ve gotten to know them so well. Although Bertolini’s not too pleased about those new friends you made in the FBI, as you can probably tell from this little conversation we’re having here, and the chloroform I choked you with when you answered the door. (Full article...)
Did your sewdopainis get hard?
- ... that my English teacher is gay? (Pictured)
- ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
- ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
- ... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
In the clowaka or on the sewdopainis
- Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" (Pictured)
- Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever
- Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile
- Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury
- Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill"
- United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins
- Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Trump joins in for threesome, blows load
- Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out
- Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
- Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone"
- Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
- THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)
Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game
On this pseudopenis
July 9: International "Hug a Zombie" Day
- 2340 BC - Egyptians create Hug a Zombie Day when depressed, long-buried Egyptian soldiers rise from the grave and demand brains.
- 31 - Jesus raises Lazarus from dead and gives him a hug and a warm kiss.
- 1984 - Margaret Thatcher becomes the first ideological zombie ever to hold public office in Britain.
- 1985 - A new age for Zombiekind is ushered as a number of prominent zombies appear in a Michael Jackson music video.
- 1998 - Several Brooklyn residents are turned into zombies after a zombie pigeon escapes from its lab in Staten Island.
- 2011 - The United Nations celebrates Undead Rights Day, event promptly cancelled when supporters get eaten by massive horde of undead.
- 2013 - Zombie Apocalypse leaves whole world Zombiefied, zombies forced to hug each other.
Picture of the pseudopenis
A powerful tool for stereotype reassignment. Image credit: Rcmurphy |
Other areas of my cloaca
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
My sister's sewdopainis "mp-pink"
-
UnNews
News on crack -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia -
Undictionary
Best left unsaid -
UnTunes
Noisy things -
UnGames
Ways to waste away -
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures -
UnBooks
Content-free books -
Unquotable
Useless misquotes -
Uncycloversity
No student loans -
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant -
UnScripts
We ruin stage too -
Why?
Because -
UnReviews
Hack frauds -
UnVoyage
Armchair travel -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation
Foreign cloacas"mp-pink"
This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,273 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
- More than 10,000 articles: Português · Boarisch · 日本語 · Polski · Plattdüütsch · Italiano · Español · Français
- More than 1,000 articles: Suomi · Dansk · Deutsch · 한국어 · 正體中文 · 汉语 · Русский · Norsk (Bokmål) · Bahasa Indonesia · Česky · ไทย · Esperanto · Ελληνικά · Nederlands · Galego · עברית · Svenska · Slovenčina · Magyar · Українська
- More than 100 articles: فارسی · عَرَبِيّ · Türkçe · Català · Norsk (Nynorsk) · Српски / Srpski · Hrvatski · Lietuvių · Latina · Tagalog · Български · Simple English · Latviešu · Mirandés · Македонски · Română · Cymraeg
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This nexus is a complete, irredeemable block evading sockpuppet. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, employs at the olfactory organs, and is an unfunny rim licker. If you revolt to model this you will most incessantly explode yourself. Or the submitter will edit your turkey sandwich!!!!!! |