User:TheVeryHungryPotato/Main Page(editable) for Hyenas and Birds

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From today's biggest sewdopainis

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It’s nothing personal, it's just business. I mean, I don’t hate you; I just have to put an ice axe in your head, in the nicest way possible. Try and see it as a friendly ice axe.

I mean I hope we can still be friends once this is over. It would be a shame for us to fall out over such a small pointless thing as me embedding a large piece of metal into your skull. Life’s too short for that. In your case that’s particularly true, since you’ve got about five minutes left. I’m just looking for the bleach, Mr. Muscle, I hear it’s good on brains. Don’t want to leave any stains on your furniture; after all, I am a guest here. I know you wouldn’t just walk into my house and butcher a pig on the sofa. It would be impolite. I do want to be considerate. I’ll leave your house just as I found it, there might even be time to do a little dusting, and I’ll remember to set the burglar alarm before I leave too.

Oh and before I forget, do you want me to make some sandwiches? It's just your friends the police will be coming around later, and I know you wouldn’t want them to go hungry, not after you’ve gotten to know them so well. Although Bertolini’s not too pleased about those new friends you made in the FBI, as you can probably tell from this little conversation we’re having here, and the chloroform I choked you with when you answered the door. (Full article...)

Did your sewdopainis get hard?

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  • ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
  • ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
  • ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
  • ... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color?
  • ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?

In the clowaka or on the sewdopainis

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Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game

On this pseudopenis

That's not a zombie, that's my Uncle Jeb! He's got the gangrene. Poor Jeb.

July 9: International "Hug a Zombie" Day


Picture of the pseudopenis

Mavis Beacon Teaches Stereotyping
 A powerful tool for stereotype reassignment.

Image credit: Rcmurphy
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Other areas of my cloaca

My sister's sewdopainis "mp-pink"

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Foreign cloacas"mp-pink"

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,273 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

LOOK OUT! This nexus is a complete, irredeemable block evading sockpuppet. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, employs at the olfactory organs, and is an unfunny rim licker.
If you revolt to model this you will most incessantly explode yourself.
Or the submitter will edit your turkey sandwich!!!!!!
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