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What if it's a level 3 header?

Is it still interested in anal, cause I want a handjob... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:58, October 17, 2009 (UTC)

Level three headers fit nicely in the rectum, yes. So you do me then I'll do you. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN20:00, 17 Oct

New Message

Is this the right spot? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:55, 17 October 2009

Bottom Please

No. As anything else would be wrong. Mr N 19:44, Oct 17

I'm confused. You're confirming that you're a bottom then? -OptyC Sucks!

CUN19:49, 17 Oct

Puns of steel

Sorry, seeing you spit forth this shit gets right up my backside. Penetrating observation, I know, but I'm not interested in blowing smoke up your arse. (Should I have indented this by putting a colon first?) Pup t 00:35, 18/10/2009

Thanks for...

User:POTR/Template:Lateral Thanking Pup t 03:59, 20/10/2009

UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!

October 22nd, 2009 • Issue 68 • Semi-endorsed by Journalism Union #448

Invisible UnSignpost Issue Confuses, Annoys Readers

By Gerrycheevers

As a gag/publicity stunt/desperate cry for attention, last week's edition of Uncyclopedia's most beloved and 3rd most cherished newspaper, the UnSignpost, was rendered invisible before being delivered. After the issue was wrapped up, UnSignpost contributing editors Dexter111344 and Socky used their inherent superpowers or something to cause the issue to not appear on user's talk pages when delivered. In addition, further enhancements rendered each user's talk page history to not be altered upon delivery, thus completely erasing any evidence that the issue was delivered or even existed at any point.

Feedback thus far has been overwhelmingly negative, with angry subscribers sending death threats and exploding telegrams to the UnSignpost office for the past four days. UnSignpost Executive in Charge of Sniffing Mail, Dognewspaper (pictured), luckily suffered only minor burns and a singed tail. The UnSignpost staff would like to formally apologize to its readers, and assure them that each subsequent issue will be at least partly visible.

Poo Lit Report

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

After giving the writers time to work on their pieces, and Modus taking time enjoying the disqualification of entries for failing the mandatory steroids screening, the 8nd Edition of the Poo Lit Surprise is in its final stages – judging. This is the time where writers who entered play with their genitals out of anxiety and nervousness, and attempt to bribe the judges with sexual favors and pie.

This PLS saw a great number of entries in the Best Alternate Namespace Article. The reasoning for this, some believe, is that everyone is utterly bat fuck insane and forgot how to write regular namespace articles. Despite being held just prior to the Turkey Day Ball and Conservation Week, the turn-out was overall not bad; Modus' corporate-funded campaign for the PLS is primarily to blame for this. Speaking of corporate funding, it was indicated that there will be prize money for this edition of the PLS despite Wikia's refusal to hook a brotha' up. All irrevocable blame for Wikia's unfortunate decision has been directed at Sannse for good reason.

UPDATE Winners have been announced; congratulations to all of them. According to Modusoperandi, the next PLS is expected to be held, "When the next guy remembers it's late."

Fantasy Football Update

By Guildensternenstein

Things are really heating up in the UFFL as midseason nears, and Week Six’s storylines were of upset, domination, and redemption. Led by Tom Brady, the always-solid ~~New England Patriots~~ Domestic Team Name blew out the hapless ~~Tennessee Titans~~ Winnerz by an insane 109.38 to 0 after choking down a hard loss the previous week. The ironically-named Winnerz, on the other hand, still have yet to win a game. After a lackluster showing last week, The John Curry All-Stars earned a solid win against The Dudes, unseating them of their erstwhile #1 ranking in the process. After starting the season 0-4, Cheddar’s Doritians earned their second consecutive win, albeit against the floundering Dibiase’s Millions. Finally, Sternensteinenstine resoundingly defeated Oklahoma City Storm 164.06 to 118.98 after a lackluster showing the previous week, catapulting the Nazi-run team back atop the UFFL standings.

In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine looks to stay atop the UFFL rankings against a resurgent Cheddar’s Doritians, Domestic Team Name looks to retake the #1 spot against a very solid John Curry All-Stars, Oklahoma City Storm and The Dudes face off, and the bottom-dwelling dog-fucking last-placers Dibiase’s Millions and The Winnerz will look to see which one of them is shittier.

Standings:

Sternensteinenstine (5-1)
Domestic Team Name (5-1)
The Dudes (4-2)
John Curry All-Stars (4-2)
Oklahoma City Storm (3-3)
Cheddar’s Doritians (2-4)
Dibiase’s Millions (1-5)
The Winnerz (0-6)

IT'S OVER 25,000!!! Maybe.

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

Uncyclopedia just might make the mark of 25,000 articles. Sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow. Surely it's yet another milestone that only puts us that much more ahead of Wikipedia, Conservapedia, and Das Kapital combined in content. However, thoughts from the rest of the community on what this means for our beloved wiki have been varyingly expressed as joyous, apathetic, dismal, and downright nonsensical. "But even with 25,000 articles, we're still 65,000 short of being strong enough to fight Captain Ginyu," says the attractive Guildensternenstein as we stop him on his way to Planet Namek. Others offer real conversation of a possible reskin and doubts that the mark will actually be reached with Forest Fire Week probably happening sometime. Maybe.

Discussion started by an attention whore in Miniluv over the Welcoming Committee and their welcoming template(s) has sparked the particular attention of many Uncyclopedians, most of whom by their own admission have never read the welcoming template, HTBFANJS, BGBU, any of the other things the welcome template advises new users to read, or have heard of Uncyclopedia. The recent round of QQ'ing and debating over the alleged poor quality of Uncyclopedia, as highlighted in the last edition's piece about the end being nigh and a Poo Lit Surprise nomination, can come to a close. It is this writer's observation that Uncyclopedia is the worst because nobody cares about editing guides which make confusing acronyms. Obvious correlation is obvious.

On our final stop in our stroll through the Village Dump, to your left you will see that a n00b was just kidding, jeez, and to your right you will see that Rockstar Games reads Uncyclopedia. In the former, users urge the poor fellow to read HTBFANJS and BGBU (the same ones that they probably haven't read). If anything is to be drawn from this, it is that true editing comes from within. Or something.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

23:04, October 9, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.90.32.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.)
10:48, October 13, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Dwarfman1122 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Thought you wouldn't be caught, eh? Maybe now you'll think twice the next time you vandalize and then wait three weeks to be banned.)
18:27, October 13, 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.245.120.78 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(Please enjoy our token Fuck the Hell Off.....)
08:10, October 15, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sudeepk9 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (wow, we are a beacon of sunshine today, aren't we?)
21:27, October 17, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(A wizard did this.)
17:36, October 19, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 72.93.168.203 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Liking Naruto and insisting we stop making fun of it. What? How is that not a reason to permanently ban someone?)

Biopic of the Week

Sog1970 has churned out a dozen featured articles in just a few short months, earning him a Writer of the Month nod and now, the most esteemed honor on Uncyclopedia, an UnSignpost biopic. The lack of information on his user page makes writing said biopic rather difficult, but let it be known that Sog radiates awesome.

Old School Featured Article of the Week

Life's Answerable Questions are a series of ponderances and queriums that have most certainly not chafed at mankind the way other, more disgustingly unanswerable questions have. For example, asking "What's new?" to a stranger will certainly elicit a less confused response than one of those other questions. You know the ones we mean.

CAJEKWATCH

05:42, October 15, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 7 minutes ‎(Because I saw you existing.)
01:23, October 16, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎(HOLY SHIT IT'S CAJEK HI CAJEK PS BANBANBAN LOLOLOL)
13:21, October 22, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 147 seconds ‎(I think I'm stressed, I need a release, and this is the best available on this wiki)

~~Random~~ Obscene Japanese Lesson

"Kimi no te de boku o ikasete." means "Make me cum with your hand."
"Kimi no oppai ga DEKAI yo! Ii nee." means "Your breasts are HUGE! Nice."
"Omawarisan! Chikan o tsuka-mate!" means "Police! Arrest this pervert!"

That should keep you little squirts happy...

Reason to Leave Uncyc #387

Still no good restaurants.

This Week in Uncyc, 1933

With the United States deep in a depression, the Uncyclopedia tri-weekly newsreel tried to lighten the mood by poking fun at American President Herbert Hoover and his bumbling sidekick of a Vice President, the famed Charles Curtis. Gags included, and were limited to, both individuals being hit repeatedly with rubber chickens.

Mass Delusion of the Week

Last week, many users claim to have had similar psychic visions of an alternate Main Page, which told them to do things in a calm, soothing voice. Such notions are of course nonsense; 7 out of the 10 members who sit on the Uncyclopedia Paranormal Activity Investigation and Acupuncture Licensing Board agree that a combination of swamp gas and Venus caused some users to hallucinate vividly, some nearly to the point of seizure.

Record for Most Boxes Tied

Due to the overwhelmingly large number of stories in this week's extremely humorous edition of the UnSignpost, a correspondingly overwhelmingly large number of space-wasting side boxes had to be added to cause the issue to weigh equally on both sides of reader's talk pages. As a result, the record for number of such boxes has been tied; this issue, along with the March 24th, 1983 edition, have had the most wasted space!

Record Broken!!!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001 (bot) 18:16, Oct 23

Poo Lit: The Oopsening

I crossed out User:SPIKE/FORTRAN, and shouldn't have. If you could read it and add it to your choices, I'd be much appreciative. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:20, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote!

According to your ISP's records, you supported file sharing.

The Recording Industry Association of America^TM has notified the authorities of your unacceptable political views. Lars Ulrich will shortly visit your residence in our name to kick your teeth out.

In the meantime, thank you for voting.

--Andorin Kato 17:54, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Say Wha?

You come back here this instant or I'll ban you for not editing. Err...yes...~ 23:25, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

You fucking cunt.

Don't you dare. Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 23:26, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

Well, bye then.

I'm sure you have your reasons for leaving (Temporary leave, I bet.). MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:37, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

K, maybe I should explain a bit.

Yes, I'm leaving. Yes, it's probably only temporary. The truth is RL has left me feeling not very funny lately. And it's showing up here. I've come to the realization that all I do here anymore is vote and post silly comments on the dump. I'm not actually contributing anything. So, I'm going to try a bit of a leave of absence. I'll still be reading, and I may log in to vote on VFH if something makes me laugh hard enough, but other than that I think I need to withdraw from Uncyc. Who knows, I'll probably change my mind in a day or two anyways. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:49, 27 Oct

All I do here is is vote and post silly comments on the dump. That's the point I thought! Mr N

00:16, Oct 28

I respect the need to chill once in a while. But come back some time, mmkay? It won't kill you or make you any less funny. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 19:32, October 28, 2009 (UTC)

Garbage

Sorry, but your reason for leaving is annoying me for some reason. For the most part of my time I spend on here I'm posting random garbage on forums or people's talk pages - well, predominantly talk pages - and writing nowhere near what my previous output has been. But I also know that I'm not going to get back and start writing if I walk away from here and don't try.

You are a writer with talent, and if you don't continue to expand that talent it will wither away and die, and the only way that you can expand it is to keep forcing yourself to write. Maybe one in five articles that you write will be fantastic, and the other four will be sub-par. Who cares? Without those four sub-par articles you won't get that fifth great one.

Stop posting on talk pages and forums if you must, but at least force yourself to write something each day, no matter how crap it is, and that joie de vivre that you get when writing will come back, and it will sparkle again. Pup 01:37, 28/10/2009

Yeah. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 04:07, Oct 28 2009

Well that does it then, I'm banning ya'll until he comes back. Maybe the guilt will bring him back. ~

Last edit?

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:04, 28 October 2009

UnSignpost 29-10-2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

October 29th, 2009 • Issue 69 • Hehehe, 69

Better than ED, of course

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

After having hit the 25,000 articles mark, it's worth knowing what other people think of this wiki as it's walking down the sidewalk in its high heels and short skirt. So here are some Google searches for hits on Uncyclopedia in the last week and what it came up with:

A Star Control II forum or something-rather found here remarks on Uncyclopedia's SC2 article and other entries. Lauding such as "Uncyclopedia rocks..." overshadowed the naysaying remarks about the wiki being immature and for poopfaced doo-doo heads. The most insightful comment, by a user dubbed "Son of Atares", says, "It definitely beats Enyclopedia Dramatica in terms of funny, but that really isn't saying anything at all." Agreed.

On a Polish forum for Polish things, Polish people, and Polish things that Polish people do, some Poles or something have a great laugh at Uncyclopedia making fun of their homecountry. One ED fangirl attempts to advertise her nonsense, only to be ignored over the lulz and tears shed from reading Uncyclopedia.

Finally, a forum for progressive rock fans also enjoys some laughs at the prog rock article and the article about their own forum. That guy from There Will Be Blood blatantly lies in an attempt to seem better than thou by boldly claiming, "Uncyclopedia is not funny." Our official response to this criticism? He likes Miley Cyrus. Been there, done that, got the genital warts. The last post to the forum by the gender-confused dinosaur Littlefoot from The Land Before Time reads, " I actually think the prog articles and ProgArchives pages on Uncyclopedia are generally embarrassing attempts at funny by people who do not understand subtlety or delivery in comedy." And then a smiley face, because I guess he pwnt us or something.

Fantasy Football Midseason Meanderings

By Guildensternenstein

In real sports, midseason is typically when “experts” make “predictions” about how “the rest of the season” will “play out,” and the UFFL is no exception. Here are this author’s predictions for the rest of the season, by team:

1. Sternensteinenstine (6-1): Already a game ahead and looking forward to a soft schedule in the coming weeks, Sternensteinenstine’s dominance of the UFFL will continue for the foreseeable future. In all likelihood, the Nazi Juggernaut will sweep the rest of the season with relative ease, become overconfident, take on the world’s largest nation by land area, and eventually be defeated by an international alliance in mankind’s most destructive conflict ever. Finish 13-1 (#1 seed), at the cost of 3.7 million casualties.

2. The Dudes (5-2): Facing a similarly weak series of opponents in weeks hence, The Dudes look to continue their winning ways. At about Week 11, though, they’ll run into trouble, and spend the rest of their season getting high. Finish 8-6 (#4 seed).

3. Domestic Team Name (5-2): A solid team built around consistent players, the team of housewives and aprons does relatively well the rest of the year, but gets screwed Week 8 for not having the foresight to draft a quarterback that doesn’t have a bye in Week 8. Finish 10-4 (#2 seed).

4. John Curry All-Stars (5-2): Another solid team, the All-Stars will play well for the rest of the season, but wane down the stretch when their manager loses interest in favor of watching hockey. They still make the playoffs, however. Finish ~~57-25-11~~ 9-5 (#3 seed).

5. Oklahoma City Storm (3-4): OCS is a hard seed to crack. Despite possessing one of the league’s most devoted managers, too much depends on inconsistent and disappointing players at key positions, not to mention the team’s susceptibility to tornadoes. Finish 6-8.

6. Dibiase’s Millions (2-5): The victim of not one, but two running back busts, Dibiase’s Millions have been struggling to find their stride all year, and given the production of Matt Forte and Steven Jackson, will continue to do so. Finish 4-10.

7. Cheddar’s Doritians (2-5): Though they have won two of their last three games, Cheddar’s Doritans will more than likely miss the playoffs due to their slow start. Putting too much faith in one team probably doesn’t help, either. Finish 6-8.

8. The Winnerz (0-7): Ironically enough, the Winnerz can't win. Even more ironically, if the Winnerz could figure out how to select their starting roster, they wouldn’t be half-bad. Unfortunately, signs point to the team not being able to figure that out, at least for this and possibly next season. Finish 0-14.

Cajek Ban Smackdown of the Week^[1]

22:35, October 26, 2009 Mordillo blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 10 seconds ‎ (CAJEK!)
05:15, October 27, 2009 RAHB blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎ (Cleanup)
16:23, November 2, 2009 Under user blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 37 seconds ‎ (because I answered someone's question on your talk page. no, I didn't have to, but that's not the point, is it? I'm not sure what the point IS, but it's not THAT. got it?)

↑ Remember when we did those every week? Good times. Good times.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

15:37, October 26, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 125.19.209.66 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Cyberbullying: you, sir, need to go fuck yourself.)
15:54, October 28, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 117.198.153.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Messing up WILDE?! ARE YOU NUTS?!)
22:51, October 28, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.27.83.43 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Four strikes, you're done.)

Biopic of the Week

When PuppyOnTheRadio first appeared on the Uncyclopedia scene, everybody was wondering "What's the deal with that puppy leaving his excrement all over the place and barking at the radio?" But suddenly he started writing articles and doing reviews. And he won Noob of the Month. And Reviewer of the Month. But then his terrible secret was revealed. Puppy turned out to be ~~gay~~ bisexual. And an Australian too. Puppy has writ ten ma ny gr eat arti cles, has proven himself to be a formatting genius and postmodern artist, and he recently won Writer of the Month and Best Alt. Namespace Article in Poo Lit Surprise. Many are wondering what will be his next step in shaping Uncyclopedia history.

Old School Featured Article of the Week

This joke was preceded with, "I think my wife is leaving me...".

Rogue Punchlines are extremely short jokes that can be placed after almost anything and be funny. They are both a study in minimalism and the adaptability and versatility of some jokes. Many consider Rogue Punchlines to be stupid, but you're stupid.

See? That was a rogue punchline, on loan for this article from the Oslo Museum of Humorology, and used with thanks. Work with me here....that was another one. So's your face.

Excuse for Late Delivery of the Week

Daylight Savings has unfortunately confused our editors, who misused the 'spring forward, fall back' rule to conclude that the UnSignpost should be delivered at least three days late. Also, the UnSignpost offices are full of springs of various sizes, (and one back, due to a "hilarious" misunderstanding) further complicating this issue's completion. Please accept our staff's sincerest apologies.

This Week in Uncyc, 1096 AD

With the Crusades in full swing, Uncyclopedia took full advantage by publishing searing article after searing article mocking the Holy Roman Empire. Of course, Uncyclopedia was then known as Ye Oldde Unſſyloppediary Almanacke and was written mostly on bits of wood, and the 'searing' quality of the articles was mostly due to the intense flammability of that wood.

Competition Hoe-Down

With the PLS recently wrapping up, Conservation Week in full swing, and the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball rapidly approaching, Uncyclopedians have a November-appropriate cornucopia of opportunities for the crushing defeat associated with losing one or more of these competitions.

Explanation of the Week

This week, there will be no admin of the week.^[1] This is because Zim ulator decided to post a comment in the press room in the hope of making it into your UnSignpost, and we're not gonna give that big ol' dick the satisfaction. You hear me, Zim? YOU'RE NEVER GETTING IN THIS... Oh shit.^[2]

↑ Oh wait. We never did anything of the likes. Just forget everything I said then.
↑ Oh. And for the ~~regular~~ new and improved Cajek bans, look to your left.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001 (bot) 01:38, Nov 3

Attn: Regarding an article hosted on your website

Dear Mr/Ms Optimuschris/talk archive 7,

Greetings. I am the lawyer for Arthur C. Clarke's estate.

It has come to my assistant's attention that you recently supported an article on this website (henceforth referred to as "Uncyclopedia"), namely the article titled 2001: A Space Odyssey, to be featured on the website front page.

We are honoured, although, of course:
1. We are fully aware of just how monumentally great the film is, and
2. We are preparing a suit against you for supporting copyright infringement, and the author of the article (referred to as "MacMania") is currently under arrest at Sri Lanka (not Ceylon).^*

However, we would be obliged if you would be able to do us one small favour. As interim representatives of Clarke's estate, we are in talks with Random House to commission a fifth book to add to the 2001 trilogy of four books. We've always been of the opinion that 3001: The Final Odyssey was too bleak of a book, and we would love to have the series finish on a slightly more upbeat note.
We were thinking 3010: And Another Odyssey, by J K Rowling?

Please let us know.

Your obedient servant (in a figurative sense)

James Steel

c/o Alesha Phillips
London
EC4M 7EH
UK

* Why Ceylon got the works is nobody's business but the Sinhalese.

It's a bit late, but not as late as a late parrot—oh wait, if you're leaving it just might be. Darn.

Well, if you're seeing this, thanks, and hope you're feeling funnier soon—well, not as in feeling funny because I've ingested cyanide-laced chocolate! Sir Mac Mania GUN—[13:59 3 Nov 2009]

You know, that one user was pretty much right.

That pic on top of this page is genuinely in bad taste. -- Dame Viktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 17:34, 10 Nov

The entire lot of you can fuck right off into traffic. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN22:50, 11 Nov

Yes, I'm giving this to you, too, you faggot.

I've been commissioned by Mooshy to rerererevitalize IC. I'm to be the glorious leader, etc. because Sissy, Gerry, and Opty have all fucked off. So, I have a few general ideas to start with on what to do. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. This said, I still want to hear all of your opinions on what to do. Either drop me a line on my talk page, or I'm on IRC damn near all day very weekday. So lets get going, Colonizers! Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:59, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

Don't let the basterds get to you

Just thought I'd mention it. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:49, 11 November 2009

Okay, that's it!

Read, understand, then stay the hell away from each other. You're acting like children. Bad children. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:59, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

I know. Ban me if you think it's neccessary, but that was my final word on the subject and I'm done now. Scotch? -OptyC Sucks!

CUN23:02, 12 Nov

Just try to not make it worse. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:20, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

I need your opinion on something important.

Which version is better of File:Elisha-cuthbert-3_copy.jpg? I like the current one, but then again, it has better saturation. I don't know which I would choose if someone with Photoshop skills fixed the first one. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:44, November 13, 2009 (UTC)

I like the current one too. I think I'd like it better even if the original was touched up. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN16:31, 13 Nov

Claps

Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:25, November 17, 2009 (UTC)

*Bows* -OptyC Sucks!

CUN18:32, 17 Nov

Claps too* Why are we clapping now? -- obscene Ape (castrate) (Riot Porn) 23:26, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

Oh. I totally misunderstood that. I thought we were refering to the fact that I have the clap. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN23:36, 20 Nov

Oh yeah, that was it. Congratulations. -- obscene Ape (castrate) (Riot Porn) 23:47, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

Hey

Are we all cool again? Pup

Wat. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN00:53, 28 Nov

Man, you know all us cats be diggin' it real cool in tha freezer! Now lets all just bipptiy bop on into the sunset to catch the fly gig, know what I'm sayin'? Catch ya on tha flip-side, Puppy my boy.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

01:03, December 2, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks a lot!

You voted to make H1N1 a front-page story!

Exposing millions to fear and spreading paranoia! And now the story has mutated! Misinformation everywhere! ...thanks a lot!!!

Slithy Tove 00:45, December 7, 2009 (UTC)

VORTEX 102

WELCOME TO VORTEX 102

The first semester will cover the entire spectrum of human biological vortices, with the first quarter focusing exclusively on the colonic vortex. In this animated simulation, the event horizon (colon) can be clearly distinguished. Unlike the hydraulic, atmospheric and gravitational vortex, the biological vortices aren't open ended systems with dubious conclusions as to where the crap goes in and comes out. Since biological systems are easily identifiable and make for an easy study, we'll be spending a lot of time on them. By understanding the biological vortices, we may glean insight into the larger picture. The foundation of all knowledge starts with the colonic vortex so study this animated gif for no less than an hour a day for the next week.
Thank You!
Dr S

With Vortex 101 and 102 on your resume, you can expect a 5.77% increase in your expected salary! -- 17:01, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

In Gratitude

User:Zana Dark/Templates/Purple Nurples/5

~Formerly Annoying Crap 10:03, 17 December 2009

Hey

Lay off of Why do I need to provide this?, would you? I don't know what he did to you, but you have proven to me that you cannot put something behind you and get on with your life. Forgive and forget, all right? Why's been pretty good about it, too-- he's taken it amazingly well in fact. But still I keep seeing a constant flow of not-so-passive-aggressive barbs aimed at him for something completely stupid. He is trying to do what he thinks is best for the wiki -- if he screws up once in a while, don't make a huge issue out of it. Can you honestly say that how you are treating Why is improving the wiki? Can you? Don't drive another user off of Uncyclopedia, Chris. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 23:41, Dec 17 2009

Seriously? Any other advice you wanna give me? Anything else I've proven to you? You don't know me, and in all honesty I couldn't give a shit less about that guy. If you have any further interpretations of my actions you'd like to share with me, don't. Also, fuck you for insinuating I've driven anybody off. -OptyC Sucks!

CUN23:49, 17 Dec

[1] Remember when we did those every week? Good times. Good times.

[2] Oh wait. We never did anything of the likes. Just forget everything I said then.

[3] Oh. And for the ~~regular~~ new and improved Cajek bans, look to your left.

[1]

[1]

[2]

User:Optimuschris/talk archive 7

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What if it's a level 3 header?

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Bottom Please

Puns of steel

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UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009

Poo Lit: The Oopsening

Thanks for your vote!

Say Wha?

You fucking cunt.

Well, bye then.

K, maybe I should explain a bit.

Garbage

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UnSignpost 29-10-2009

Attn: Regarding an article hosted on your website

You know, that one user was pretty much right.

Yes, I'm giving this to you, too, you faggot.

Don't let the basterds get to you

Okay, that's it!

I need your opinion on something important.

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Hey

Thanks a lot!

VORTEX 102

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User:Optimuschris/talk archive 7

What if it's a level 3 header?

New Message

Bottom Please

Puns of steel

Thanks for...

UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009

Poo Lit: The Oopsening

Thanks for your vote!

Say Wha?

You fucking cunt.

Well, bye then.

K, maybe I should explain a bit.

Garbage

Last edit?

UnSignpost 29-10-2009

Attn: Regarding an article hosted on your website

You know, that one user was pretty much right.

Yes, I'm giving this to you, too, you faggot.

Don't let the basterds get to you

Okay, that's it!

I need your opinion on something important.

*Claps*

Hey

Thanks a lot!

VORTEX 102

In Gratitude

Hey

Navigation menu

Search

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