Guy Sebastian
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Gay Sebastian rose to fame in Australia after he managed to guzzle more cum on stage during his run on Australia's Got Fuck All Talent than any other cocksucker in history. For 6 weeks straight the cocksucker proved that no one would out-shine him when it came to sucking massive amounts of dick. His favorite quote "Cows it goin', m8", said each night before he would chow down on his 12 gallons of freshly squeezed Jesus Juice, had viewers puking in the isles at such lame atrocity, that he was guaranteed to be voted in as the #1 cocksucker of the year.
Early life[edit | edit source]
Gay was born in 1991 by sheer accident because his father was careless and drunk when he fucked a Lama without a condom. His fathers excuse for the outcome was that he thought using the Lama as a contraceptive to fuck the pet cat would just be some harmless fun! But the end result turned into Gay Sebastian and in 2004 he was finally apprehended and executed for his heinous crimes against the Australian people.
Gay unfortunately is still living, but as soon as Australian officials can lift the protection rights the RSPCA have on rights to protect Gay Sebastian from being hunted down and de-veining what little cock he has with a clam knife, his death will be the next guaranteed winner of Australia's funniest home videos.
Faggot Fuck[edit | edit source]
Gay came to the attention of Australian media at the age of 17 when he started appearing on "Australia's Got Fuck-All Talent" and became an Idol of the judges who consisted of a 3 other faggots no one in Australia could stand, Dickhead Wilkins, Rove McAnus & whoever was trying to imitate that English asshole from the American version of the show, but coming across as just a complete and utter no-talent bag of shit, cause if anyone in Australia is going to boo a contestant judge and give nasty comments, all because they blew their own career, then it can only be done by Red Simons.
Gay accidentally won the shows finale at the end of the year due to a media scam. Voters where asked to text/sms in which performer they most wanted to see win the show, but during the final week on April 1, 2005, the broadcast read "Who you would most like to see voted OFF the show" and when Gays number finally came up, everyone in Australia voted for him to be kicked off the show at long last. Molly Meldrum then appeared to announce that Gay was now unfortunately the winner of the show, he had won by a landslide record of SMS votes, 8 to 1, and Australia was fuming that they had been tricked into voting for such a talentless bag of shit. All 9 people watching who sent a vote via text demanded their 6 cents back.
Gay Guy is a Virgin Pussy[edit | edit source]
After his accidental and undeserving win, Gay was then typically interviewed by Tracy Grimshaw who pretended that the people of Australia actually gave a shit about anything this little faggot has to say. He said in an interview that he was a virgin, and waiting for the "right one" to come along, before he married her and then had consenting sex. This was proven to not be true, and a media scam to gain attention just like Delta Goodrum claiming her infected nipple ring might lead to breast cancer and sucking up to the media for sympathy.
Guy was outted by his former lovers and bum-chums, when more faggots came out of the woodwork and said they have sucked Gays cock then the amount of pussy Tiger Woods ate in 2009. Gay kept defending himself by saying, "Yeah, sure, I've sucked massive amounts of dick in my day, but I am a virgin to women, you see. And I am waiting for that one true love to come along, and I will marry her and fuck her silly when I do"... there was a moment of silent pause in the room, followed by some short snickers before the room burst into laughter, as if Gay would ever end up with a girl? Who was he trying to kid?
Finally Fucked off from the Media[edit | edit source]
After a few months of following Gay around, just in-case he said something as hilarious as denying his faggasexuality, the media started to remember this guy was not a comedian, not on purpose anyway, and where reminded that he is a talentless bag of shit. In fact, he is more than that, he is like 100 pounds of dog shit, cat shit, horse shit, mouse shit, rabbit shit, poofter shit, elephant shit & a billion humans watery diarrhea shit in a 50-pound bag. And that is why you do not hear about Gay Sebastian anymore, because his "virgin" head overflowing with shit is enough to make you sick.
