User talk:Heerenveen/archive4
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Welly Wanging
I will be very interested to know, sir or madam, if you happen to live in the obviously-sexually-repressed-and-unfunny United States of America. If so, then some excuse can be afforded to you for completely and utterly missing the point of the article which you reviewed 31st March 2008. Yes, whilst formatting might be improved (I am an amateur in that field), I think you wholly fail to grasp the concept and hidden meaning of the article. Shame really, as I am a sixteen-year old young man in an English private school, and I had my peers in stitches over this. Welcome, my honourable friend, to the world of INNUENDO. If you don't know what that means, you got lost on the way there. And if you do happen to be English, I pray God you don't advertise the fact. Maybe read again, more open-minded and open-fisted next time. Oops, there I go again! I thank you for your time, but seriously, you need to use it better than reviewing countless articles cynically.
'If you can't see the joke; the joke is probably you'
Good-day to you.Jackharrison 09:11, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
- Way to make friends and influence people Jack. Stupid generalisations about entire countries are not a great way to go. And if you think about it for a second, his username should give you a slight clue as to which continent he can be found on... I am as English as they come, and have been for more time than you, and I'm familiar with innuendo and the noble art of welly wanging. And I didn't find your article particularly hilarious either. I may have been a tad more generous with my scoring, but it's not brilliant by any stretch. The thing about reviews is you're asking for other people's opinions - and not everyone's opinion is the same as yours. If you disagree with a review, request a second one. If the second opinion concurs with the first, you may like to entertain the possibility that the article isn't as gut-bustingly funny as you think. There's potential there, but you need to work on it a bit more to bring it out. Think about it, and don't go getting upset by an honest attempt to be honest and helpful. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:23, Apr 4
- Yes, my average score when I'm doing Pee Review is a few points below the average. However, that generally is because I like to take the IP stuff from the bottom of the barrel to see if there are any hidden gems and whatnot. If you want proof that I don't review cynically, try here, here, or here. I stand by my review that the article is currently too subtle, poorly formatted and too small, and that it still needs a lot of work to be a good article. Oh, and I'm Scottish. –—Hv (talk) 4/04 13:28
- I hate humour. It sucks balls. Also, Heerenveen does a great job skimming the crap off the Pee Review que. Obey him. Toughest reviewer around, according to my sources. • <Apr 04, 2008 [13:38]>
- CAJEK!!! Not technically true by the way, AE has a worse average of PEEING memebers (though he's inactive, so does he count? I don't know). Also, thanks UU for saying what I would of had I been active at quarter past...yawn...nine in the morning. Also also, anyone reading this, vote MDL for RotM! –—Hv (talk) 4/04 13:54
- Heerenveen, hey! I think you're the toughest reviewer of all the cream of the crop reviewers. I'm sorry that guy voted against you! Makes me want to change back... I don't know. Maybe I'll just not vote. I hate democracy. • <Apr 04, 2008 [13:56]>
- CAJEK!!! Not technically true by the way, AE has a worse average of PEEING memebers (though he's inactive, so does he count? I don't know). Also, thanks UU for saying what I would of had I been active at quarter past...yawn...nine in the morning. Also also, anyone reading this, vote MDL for RotM! –—Hv (talk) 4/04 13:54
- I never said it was brilliant, but I think it's better than 10. By a little. I commend this chap, even if he does think England and Scotland are somehow the same, and my attempt at trans-atlantic banter was, in meaning,light-hearted, and requited by definition. Please do not think I am moaning because I thought it was amazing, I just didn't think it was that bad. The IP comment is very valid, but given the volume of work you do, maybe you should score a little more mainstream? Anyway, good to hear from you. Apologies, I will certainly look at your other reviews, but mine was certainly cynical. Believe me, I am terribly so myself, I can spot it. But that's not always a good thing.Jackharrison 14:25, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
- I hate humour. It sucks balls. Also, Heerenveen does a great job skimming the crap off the Pee Review que. Obey him. Toughest reviewer around, according to my sources. • <Apr 04, 2008 [13:38]>
- Having looked through it again, yes, I will admit that was a bit cycnical of me. Apologies about that. Right now, I would score it about a 24-ish, as its length still hurts it, but I would now score it higher than a ten. I don't see how anyone thinks England and Scotland are the same though (UU said he was English, I said I was Scottish). I probably should be more mainstream, but I'm comfortable with how I'm working, but I will try to change. Thanks for bringing this up. –—Hv (talk) 4/04 14:29
- Whoa Heerenveen, you gave him a 10? Jesus christ, that's... wow. Now I can see why he was upset, whether it was a justified score or not! This is nobody's fault, I think. • <Apr 04, 2008 [14:32]>
- Nah, it is mine, I remember now, this was a couple of days ago when I was...a bit pissed off with Uncyc, to the point where I was about to go back on hiatus. I really shouldn't have done that review, but I thought that since I'd PRIP'd it it'd be common courtesy. That's why I had a couple of days off afterwards. –—Hv (talk) 4/04 14:35
- Sorry about the English/Scottish thing, I must have misread. Consider the situation fully sorted, and I would like to apologise for my rashness also. Having read this comment (I actually rated it lower than that!) and your other reviews, you might just get my vote actually, which just goes to show research is everything. It's you or Javascap...Good luck! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Jackharrison (talk • contribs)
- No problem, consider the apology accepted. Personally, I would vote Javascap, but that's because I personally don't think I should win either award I'm nominated for - I really just don't deserve it, and I like to see good improvers like him get recognition, but that's just me. P.S. That's a solid review you did earlier, kudos to you. –—Hv (talk) 4/04 19:05
- Sorry about the English/Scottish thing, I must have misread. Consider the situation fully sorted, and I would like to apologise for my rashness also. Having read this comment (I actually rated it lower than that!) and your other reviews, you might just get my vote actually, which just goes to show research is everything. It's you or Javascap...Good luck! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Jackharrison (talk • contribs)
- Nah, it is mine, I remember now, this was a couple of days ago when I was...a bit pissed off with Uncyc, to the point where I was about to go back on hiatus. I really shouldn't have done that review, but I thought that since I'd PRIP'd it it'd be common courtesy. That's why I had a couple of days off afterwards. –—Hv (talk) 4/04 14:35
- Whoa Heerenveen, you gave him a 10? Jesus christ, that's... wow. Now I can see why he was upset, whether it was a justified score or not! This is nobody's fault, I think. • <Apr 04, 2008 [14:32]>
User:Cajek/Pee
- Heerenveen, do you want to update the list? We've got a back up right now, and I think both I and UU trust you. You know how to update it all, right? • <Apr 04, 2008 [19:14]>
- I think I understand it with the averages and whatnot... Yeah, I'll do it. –—Hv (talk) 4/04 19:16
- Cool, update the maintenance list with your name, too. Thanks, man. • <Apr 04, 2008 [19:22]>
- Good on Fist of Judgement. Update the maintenance list by striking out <s>blah blah</s> the review and say if you gave it a + or - in your opinion, then sign your name. • <Apr 04, 2008 [19:26]>
- Oh, on Fist of Judgement (and everybody else) update the notes section with their latest review, the date of their latest review, and their percentage. Good. • <Apr 04, 2008 [19:29]>
- Like that? –—Hv (talk) 4/04 19:46
- Cool. I did say I was going to get round to it, and with a mug o' tea beside me I'm already to do it, and it's already done. I like it when that happens! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 20:06, Apr 4
- Definitely. Not many feelings better than going in for some kind of work and not having to do it, which I wish would happen more often. No problems table wise once Cajek had explained it to me, so that should be fine.
Unrelated fact: This is the longest talk page heading I've ever had in 14 months at Uncyc by quite a bit. –—Hv (talk) 4/04 20:11
- Definitely. Not many feelings better than going in for some kind of work and not having to do it, which I wish would happen more often. No problems table wise once Cajek had explained it to me, so that should be fine.
- Cool. I did say I was going to get round to it, and with a mug o' tea beside me I'm already to do it, and it's already done. I like it when that happens! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 20:06, Apr 4
- Like that? –—Hv (talk) 4/04 19:46
- I think I understand it with the averages and whatnot... Yeah, I'll do it. –—Hv (talk) 4/04 19:16
- Heerenveen, do you want to update the list? We've got a back up right now, and I think both I and UU trust you. You know how to update it all, right? • <Apr 04, 2008 [19:14]>
Thank you for the update, Hv! • <Apr 05, 2008 [22:28]>
- It's nothing. I was a bit iffy on Roger's (can't type his name without looking, can't be arsed to look), but I decided to give him benefit of the doubt on it. And yeah, we needed the header, you could barely read it without getting confused beforehand, so thanks! –—Hv (talk) 5/04 22:32
- Yes, I too hate his name. Feel free to update the list whenever you get the gumption slash have nothing better to do (and remember to update the
{{%|x|x}}thingies, too.) Cajek out! that sounded cool. note to self: do that more often • <Apr 05, 2008 [22:37]>
- Yes, I too hate his name. Feel free to update the list whenever you get the gumption slash have nothing better to do (and remember to update the
Why did you steal my pee review of not-so-awesome-land?--NecroBlade 23:02, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
- Your review was reverted by an admin. When I got there, it didn't say anything about you there, so I just did it. –—Hv (talk) 9/04 14:49
- I reverted it because you admitted in your review that you didn't even read the whole page. The review wasn't very useful, either. Try to write a bit more into them--a good pee review can be the difference between a good article and a great article. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon
(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:16, Apr 9
- What Led said, basically. Also - TLB - how on earth did you know to come here now? –—Hv (talk) 10/04 14:38
- I reverted it because you admitted in your review that you didn't even read the whole page. The review wasn't very useful, either. Try to write a bit more into them--a good pee review can be the difference between a good article and a great article. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon
Thanks
For the great Pee Review. The article is now in VFH. -- 
04:22, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
Ta for review
I'll try my best with it, Thanks again:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:20, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
It's disgusting...
Hey, Punk!
You voted to get the UnScript featuring the most violent detective in the world to the front page to blow some heads clean off a few newbie shoulders. I'll keep this brief considering that I've been sitting on my ass for the last minute talking to you instead of carving holes into that punk Dexter.
So thanks for the vote.
~ 
Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.
17/04/2008 @ 03:12
"whore received"
Ha! • <Apr 22, 2008 [21:11]>
- Yup, it came, it went. 'Twas very nice indeed while it stayed, but now that it's gone again, it's left me very sleepy, strangely... –—Hv (talk) 21:15, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
- Oh? Lame! Receive my second whore: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Cajek/Mordor Jalapenos • <Apr 22, 2008 [21:21]>
- Oooh, this one's staying with me, I like it! Sorry for the late reply, I was actually shattered last night, which is what I meant there. I'm writing today (or at trying to, anyway!), but if I get time later I'll do it. –—Hv (talk) 23/04 15:39
- Cool, glad you like. I'll expect your report later today, Mr. H! • <Apr 23, 2008 [15:45]>
- /me looks at Sycamore, then at the pee queue. Or maybe not. Damn procrastination. –—Hv (talk) 23/04 15:55
- I assume Sycamore did a good enough job, no need for me to do a third opine? 15:27, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
- Sycamore didn't really "get it", although he did a thorough job. (I just finished reading User talk:Famine, and I got distracted. It's not worth reading, btw). If you understand what a JALAPENO is, I would appreciate a "third" review. • <Apr 24, 2008 [15:57]>
- It's a chili, and it's bloody hot, and that's all I can remember from Food Tech. Again, if I get time (what with writing (which I forgot again, dammit), RC and having another pee queued) I'll do it. I read Famine's talk page a couple of days ago (from the block log, no less), and it sounds to me like he thinks we may as well pack up, which I really don't see the reason for. –—Hv (talk) 24/04 16:55
- Sycamore didn't really "get it", although he did a thorough job. (I just finished reading User talk:Famine, and I got distracted. It's not worth reading, btw). If you understand what a JALAPENO is, I would appreciate a "third" review. • <Apr 24, 2008 [15:57]>
- I assume Sycamore did a good enough job, no need for me to do a third opine? 15:27, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
- /me looks at Sycamore, then at the pee queue. Or maybe not. Damn procrastination. –—Hv (talk) 23/04 15:55
- Cool, glad you like. I'll expect your report later today, Mr. H! • <Apr 23, 2008 [15:45]>
- Oooh, this one's staying with me, I like it! Sorry for the late reply, I was actually shattered last night, which is what I meant there. I'm writing today (or at trying to, anyway!), but if I get time later I'll do it. –—Hv (talk) 23/04 15:39
- Oh? Lame! Receive my second whore: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Cajek/Mordor Jalapenos • <Apr 22, 2008 [21:21]>
Heerenveen needs some laughter in his life
Look at him go! • <Apr 24, 2008 [22:51]>
- Whee! Contraptions! /me gets heavily distracted.
- Seventeen hours later...
- OK, that seems enough. God knows I needed it, school's grating with me even more than usual right now. Also, first time I've ever seen an established user get a one for P&F, which shocked me a bit, I expected more from Improver really. Also also, why is this semi-protected? –—Hv (talk) 25/04 13:09
- Why is what semi-protected? You mean my flying machine? Well, first of all, I don't want anyone stealing the patent: those Write brothers (not Wright brothers) are always stealing my inventions! • <Apr 25, 2008 [13:11]>
- Yup, those pesky brothers, always stealing everything of any use, and leaving their pesky lines all over the place, it's lot of mopping up. Got a legal case going against 'em soon, hopefully that'll be good protection I meant this talk page, talking to myself, it's a really bad habit, you know? As is using bad HTML, like so. –—Hv (talk) 25/04 13:52
- Why is what semi-protected? You mean my flying machine? Well, first of all, I don't want anyone stealing the patent: those Write brothers (not Wright brothers) are always stealing my inventions! • <Apr 25, 2008 [13:11]>
A quick thanks
Hey mate, thanks a lot for that Review you did of my UnScript-didn't think anyone would ever get round to that. It was very helpful, very tolerant. Looking back, I probably did overdo the name-dropping. I must say, Uncyclopedia's a lot more welcoming to newcomers than I'd expected.
Anyway, that's, uh...about it. You'll probably want to...delete this comment, or something. Anyway, thanks again. Cheers. BlueYonder 18:03, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
- It's nothing. Yeah, we're quite a bit better with newbies than we were (despite the current NotM controversy). Happy writing! –—Hv (talk) 27/04 18:08
very special thanks
Thanks for the vote with Tony Visconti and also your first class review whcih got it feature worthy. Big thanks and hugs from:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:58, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
A large white expanse
There is a "whoosh!" noise, and brightly scrawled crayon colours are left across the middle. In the distance, a manhole cover clinks back into place. And like that... He's gone. (De-virginising - my way). --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:35, Apr 28
- (diff) (hist) . . User talk:Heerenveen; 16:38 . . (-443) . . Heerenveen (Talk | contribs) (Reverted edit(s) of Under user (talk) to last version by Heerenveen - I like my virginity!) [rollback] –—Hv (talk) 28/04 16:16
- lol wat ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 16:39 Apr 28
Congratulations!
And thank you for your support! Mightydandylion 
(talk) Fk 16:07, 1 May 2008 (UTC)
- It's nothing, like I said on RotM this month, you should have won that. And thanks again. Good luck! 16:16, 1 May 2008 (UTC)
Gratz on RotM thar, HV! You've certainly earned it. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:28 May 1
Good Lord man!
You really are a tank! I think you've beaten me to QVFD every time this morning. Awesome job! -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:04, 1 May
- That's where insane recent changes refreshing gets you, plus the QVFD script. Awesome, that is. I'd probably not be at Uncyc without it. Thanks for the compliment! –—Hv (talk) 1/05 19:10
JS help.
Alright, so I just went and stole a huge chunk of code from your .js page and I've been trying to make it work. The cool stuff shows up on talk pages and other places I don't really need it, but when I go to try to use that cool VFD script, I get nothing. Would you mind taking a look for me? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:39 May 1
- Sure. –—Hv (talk) 1/05 19:42
NotM - Thanks
Heerenveen, you there? Come out where I can see you, I come bearing gifts! There you are! You are a VERY clever person. Why? Because you voted for me and helped me become NotM! Well done. Give yourself a pat on the back.
To reward you, I'm giving you a YTTE goodie-bag. It is a collection of YTTE memorabilia I've just pulled out of my pocket...That's one scrumpled piece of paper, a dead slug, three unidentified hairs, a strain of the bird flu virus, a morally ambiguous Olympic torch, two cows and various assorted, unexpected items. Enjoy!
YTTE would also remind you that he's still got a few miracle toothbrushes left. Toothbrushes have so many uses, and these miracles ones are great! Buy one now for a massively reduced price and enjoy their increased ease-of-use feel. 98% of the people studied said their teeth were saved by these total protection tooth brushes! Get your hands on one now!
P.S. Sorry that was so long and rambling, sorry there's no picture. You'll just have to imagine that this is a short, concise, beautiful thank you template. Also I'm hoping I'm not breaking any unspoken rule or etiquette of Uncyclopedia by giving you this thank you template!
from YTTE.
Thanks for voting and thanks again for that audio! - 16:17 2 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTE
Volebb
Do not delete! Blame it on the exit. Try try math! Image:JimboWales.jpg – Preceding unsigned comment added by Rhonda (talk • contribs)
- What? 4/05 18:25
- Plez wasnt nice or to delete Volebb! Rhonda 19:26, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
- Mhaille deleted it, not me. I'm not an admin (nor will I ever be) - I can't delete pages. By the way, it was deleted because it appeared to be cyberbullying. 4/05 19:30
- Plez wasnt nice or to delete Volebb! Rhonda 19:26, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
- it wasn't! Trying to be funny with the Volebb! Rhonda 22:26, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
Whoring your own article to you? Unheard of!
But the meaning is still the same: vote. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 01:41 May 6
- A very late
done. 7/05 20:31
done. Heerenveen's Edit History
Plays all the greatest hits!
- That's, what, six projects I have now? Might be a good idea to actually finish one...
- Note to self: I need to write a new article now.
Actually, that's all I got. Hi HV! • <May 09, 2008 [15:25]>
- And there was me thinking no-one actually read these things...Hi! Although I really do need to finish an article really (what with the VFH tanking and all), but meh. 9/05 15:28
- Also, looking through - you can now buy special summaries, including:
- Umm... I /don't/ have 51 reviews
- QVFD script's, well, gone boom, and that crowd favourite...
- Reverted edit(s) of [insert user here] to last version by ME!!!111!!1
- Now for just £666.16! 9/05 17:17
on the UnNews audio file you're planning
i couldn't help but notice that you are planning to do an audio for my recent UnNews article, while i'd be more than happy for you to do this (i've listened to your others and they're really good!), could it wait a while? it's just i got a really good pee from SysRq and i wouldn't mind playing with the article for a while and make it better. he even hinted at VFH'ing it if i make it better, and i think it'd be good to have an audio with it but one that matches the text so if you could just hold your toung for a while that'd be cool. let me know either way. Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog|
00:59, 12 May 2008 (UTC)
- Sure! I'd actually ran into a few problems with it anyway, but I'more than happy to wait for you to finish it. Just let me know when you're done. 12/05 06:00
- Hey, I think I've pretty much finished it now, there is at least nothing else I feel I can do to it with out making it sound awkward. so if you still want you can go ahaead with the auidio. Also if there's anything you want to put in there feel free. and my spelling may need looked over. Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog|
07:37, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
- Rightio, I think it looks rather good myself (except for that one ewww picture). My Audacity's stopped being broke (good grammar, me), and I should have it done by the end of the week. Nice UnNews. 14/05 15:05
- Hey, I think I've pretty much finished it now, there is at least nothing else I feel I can do to it with out making it sound awkward. so if you still want you can go ahaead with the auidio. Also if there's anything you want to put in there feel free. and my spelling may need looked over. Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog|
Hey! Just listened to the audio and it's very good! I'm just happy that someone took an interest in my article and also, should any one descide to nominate it, makes the article more complete. So yeah, thanks. Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog| 16:08, 18 May 2008 (UTC)
- It's nothing. Thanks for the opportunity! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 18/05 17:51
UnSignpost: May 15th, 2008
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
May 15st, 2008 • Issue 2 3
|
The Bible Finally Catches a Break  For years... or whatever... Conservapedia has attacked Uncyc for being too liberal. Today, Uncyc publicly derobes itself, and reveals its patriotic side. From now on, "Uncyclopedia" will be renamed "Falwellapedia" in honor of the late pastor, Jerry Falwell who died May 15th, 2007. Unsignpost spoke with the founder, Modusoperandi, in his isolated forest bunker. "I hate how the liberals treat us!" Modus shouted, along with his two followers. "Don't they see that when they make fun of us, the lord rolls over in his soon-to-be-resurrected grave?" The conservative propagandabot Fbooble is scheduled to "purge the site of any left-wing statements" by the end of the week, soon after it gains self-awareness and joins the Republican party. "HUMANS, CLOSE YOUR NOISE HOLES AND PAY ATTENTION!" Fbooble proclaimed at a recent press conference. "THE DEMOCRATS AND ALL THOSE OTHER LIBERALS ARE NEARING THE END." Fbooble, whose titanium wristwatch glistened in the afternoon sun, held up a copy of the Falwell Children's Bible near the conclusion of the conference and said "ALL PRAISE JEBUS, AND HIS INVINCIBLE ARMY OF DISCIPLES!" Although Fbooble is unclear on the details of religion right now, it promises to become ultraconservative when it does. Not all Uncyc users are happy with the transition. Although we could not find anyone who actually called themselves a liberal, we did manage to vandalize a hybrid just to equal the score. Unsignpost promises a lucrative year via advertising revenue for the Republican National Committee and a weekly "Republican of the Week" section. Changes by Fbooble will include replacing all swear words, such as ****** and ***********, with the word "daffodil," and deleting all articles. Shockporn deemed unworthy will be replaced with this image, and quotes not from the bible will be deleted with extreme prejudice. All non-American users, such as that one guy are to be called "fags", also with extreme prejudice.  How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid, one of the hallmarks of Uncyclopedia, has reached the top of the heap. Mordillo, an administrator who will be the least offended when we attribute absolutely false quotes to him, recently said of the page "Finally! Although I've never read it, I hear it's full of fatherly, patronizing advice for those newbs that write those articles I'm constantly huffing!" Mhaille, who has the most linked-to userpage on Uncyc, was slightly more angry at the recent news. "I'm only in 10th place? What the f**k?" While spying on Mhaille from under his bed, the news staff heard language that no human being was ever supposed to hear. Thankfully, the staff was smashed on Listerine, and may have just made up the entire event. Mhaille commented that "No, they didn't make it up, and if they do it again they had better bring enough Listerine for everyone." The user responsible for the 36,000+ links to How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid wishes to remain anonymous, but said to our reporters through a wiretap "I just got too carried away. I wish I could take it back, but I can't, and that's no reason for threatening my family in this way! Oh jeez, I hope you get this message, Uncyclopedia. All right, I'm hanging up now, and I hope you're not angry. *BEEP*" UnSignpost Releases Second Issue  May 15th, 2008: Uncyclopedia has developed an open wound... a newspaperish one. Riding high on their success, Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek have "deployed their golden parachutes" and are "planning to pack up our shit" and "get the hell out of here." Wearing his trademark solid gold sweatpants, bought with the advertising from the first and second issues of Unsignpost, Dr. Skullthumper said "It was fun, I guess, but now it's time to move on. Like a wild hyena, Unsignpost has left its mark. There are no more stories to cover: no more people to attribute fake quotes to." Cajek, munching on a shish kabob of bald eagle babies, had nothing to add except maniacal laughter as he threw thousands of dollars into the air. Unsignpost, bankrupted by the two owner's antics, is planning to make the paper a paid subscription, unless something kooky happens, in which case it won't. In addition to subscriptions, Unsignpost is having a luau at Mike's house to raise money. "Oh, it'll be soooooo exciting!" Mike said. ...You know Mike. Anyway, Mike continued, "There'll be a silent auction, and a limbo contest, and a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey! Oh! So exciting!" With the proceeds, Unsignpost hopes to add a "Week Box of the Week of the Week" section and a mascot. Maybe a shark. Protein folding: The latest in computer entertainment "Well that's great," you say. "So I'm helping compute protein folding, a never-before-possible situation to model on computers, and thus helping cure some of the most misunderstood diseases to strike humankind as well as advancing the knowledge of the human race into parts of science that were up until recently perceived as impossible. So what's in it for ME?!" You, yes you, will get the excitement of watching proteins fold in your very own home! "Wow!" exclaims part-time F@H user Dr. Skullthumper, "did you just see that? Did you just SEE the way that blue thing collided into that gray thing? Oh man, it was amazing! And in super-slow motion, too!" Other users have given the program similar reviews, describing it as "utterly transfixing" and "better quality entertainment than mitosis!" You, too, can join in the fun and the frenzy of the world of those wacky proteins - while saving the world! |
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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:42, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
- Woot! A newspaper that I've already read in Fnoodle's userspace! Go Skullthumper! (Seriously, I appreciate this a lot, nice to know what I've missed in the VD and whatnot). 15/05 17:14
- They're onto us, Fnoodle! We must flee! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:28 May 15, 2008
- Do I have ta'? Mah iron legs 'r tired. Fnoodle 18:41, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
- Yup, or I'll chase you down with pitchforks and torches! TORCHES! 15/05 18:47
- At least we won't be running because we're being chased down! • <May 15, 2008 [18:51]>
- ...30 hours later...
- Where the fuck is that goddamn robot and his op? I've been chasing him for hours! <panting> 16/05 21:16
- At least we won't be running because we're being chased down! • <May 15, 2008 [18:51]>
- Yup, or I'll chase you down with pitchforks and torches! TORCHES! 15/05 18:47
- Do I have ta'? Mah iron legs 'r tired. Fnoodle 18:41, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
- They're onto us, Fnoodle! We must flee! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:28 May 15, 2008
Thankies
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Pyotr Kuznetsov Says: "Thank You For Voting!" Pyotr Kuznetsov would be here himself, but what with his psychiatric treatment and all, he sent Dora to convey this message. Oh wait, Dora's dead! Oh well. Anyway, thanks for voting for this! |
Please accept the preceding generic template as a sign of my gratitude, Heerenveen. - 08:14 17 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTE
Thanks!
Thanks for signing my guest book Mr. Heerenveen! Thank you kindly! /me does a handstand and then juggles some balls for your entertainment - 17:53 18 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTE
- That sounds weirdly formal, something I'm completely unused to here! No probs /me applauds. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk),
Thanks for Vote
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Thanks for Voteing Battleship Potemkin The ship has now been turned into something else;) |
Thanks for voteing for my article, big thankies--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 08:35, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
Ohh, riiight
That's how to do it. Duly noted (mind you, I don't tend to spend much time creating awards and categories, so I'll certainly forget again long before I ever actually need to use it!) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:41, May 19
- True, true. I've never actually created one myself, but its like the people who fix sigs – once you get the knack of how to do it, you always remember. On the award itself, thanks! Might actually be enough to get me reviewing again. Might; depends on how lazy I am later. Ta! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 19/05 14:53
On The Review + Stuff
Hey, HV, thanks alot for reviewing my article. I see exactly what's wrong with it now and I completly agree. I'll do my best to sort it out and then just leave it alone as, like you say, it isn't VFH material but it is a vast improvement on what was there. Though I think sentecing seems to be an issue in everything I write so I'll try and keep that in check in future. Meanwhile, between reviews, I am working on something a little bit original (even though I stole the style directly from this) which I think may, when its finished, be VFH-able so if you have any preliminary thoughts just dump them on the talk page. And as for reviewing i'm shooting for the Top Five (two more good ones and I've beaten MrN!) to make sure I get RotM next month (MDL totaly deserves it this month, even though i'm not a huge fan of his style 100% good reviews is hard to argue with). Oh and your article (the unpronouncable one) it's good, voted For just now, Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog| 01:12, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
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