User talk:Heerenveen/archive6

Fuck Boomer

Hello Heerenveen, This was going to be a thanks for making Orian57 attending template but then some bum said no and i didn't get the title so basically i'd still like to thank you for the support. and maybe next time. or when RotM comes round. This may not have been the best picture to use as the man in it stole kidneys for a living. That was Boomers reasoning not my grammer.

Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog| 10:34, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

RAEPPPPP!

...sort of! And third time in a row, yay! This is fun... Also, how come you got your talk page semi-protected? - [18:26 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

There was this vandal going round mid-Aprilish who was vandalising user/user talk pages of everyone who reverted him, so Mordillo semi-protected this. I just completely forgot about it, though it is rather more peaceful nowadays. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 28/05 18:29

Untill we came along... i'm quite impressed actually a six chaoeter saga. that's liek star wars! Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog| 18:31, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Likewise. You want me to unprotect it? ~ 18:32, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Leave the move protection, but, yeah, make it editable again (Keep it autoconfirmed on the actual userpage though). ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 28/05 18:33

Done. ~ 18:34, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Thanks! And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 28/05 18:37

How come that last bit of the saga hasn't been archived yet? Huh? - [19:01 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I thought I'd got it all, unless you mean Orian's PEEING template, which is normal talk page stuff (and as such will be in archive 6). ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 28/05 19:05

Oh right you put it all in archive 5! Yay! That is one of the most awesome archives of all time. - [19:07 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yup, 25kb of pure awesomeness that no-one will ever read hopefully. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 28/05 19:09

They will. i'm putting a link to that in my sig and everywhere on UnProvise, the thing that me and Yettie are working on entierly because he raped your page and you never stopped us once we got going. i soo got the last word too Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog| 19:21, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

To be fair, I didn't notice until you'd got all the way over the page, and by then I thought it too weird to stop. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 28/05 19:28

YOU DIDN'T NOTICE?!?!?!?! WHAT? - [20:06 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I don't know, something or other. Also, @ Orian: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!</slo-mo> ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 28/05 20:48

*whips out penis* Let's make things a little more lively... - [21:03 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Hey! Your innie popped out! That wasn't there last night. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC!

On UnBlog

Hey, Hv, thanks for the comment on UnBlog! Always apreciated. And, yeah, I will be writing stuff for that and here, just been distracted with reviews and UnProvise and things recently. But I am working on several things and have ideas for more stuff. There just aren't enough hours. Anyway thanks! Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 14:16 31 May 2008

HeHe

I thought not mentioning you in my "Cajek, UU and SysRq" list might trick you into doing it! Thanks. I should really learn how it works now. It's changed a lot since I last updated it. Cheers again... Maybe someone could write a quick guide on how to update the table, and have it as a subpage or something? :-) MrN 17:22, May 31

So that was it...no problem, I have no idea how we (by which I mean me, UU and Cajek – I can't actually remember SysRq doing it) missed that review – especially as it was for Cajek in the first place! Writing a guide is a really good idea, actually, if I get time I might do it tonight (though I do procrastinate like hell!). ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 31/05 17:26

Thank you for doing the list Hv! With Unsignpost and regular article writing, I doubt I'll be able to update the table anytime soon. That top 5 drama is pretty interesting, though... Anyway, yeah, write a guide! :D   Le Cejak • <17:31, 31 May 2008>

It's a shame you and UU had to have a vacation on the same weekend and leave me with it! Anyway, I'm starting one here (We should save User:Cajek/Pee/Pee for when we inevitably want to see how many reviews the table updaters are giving ;)) now, but most of the work will be done tomorrow, as I have an article I want to finish tonight. Good luck woth the UnSignpost! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 31/05 17:36

There is an "issue" over the top 5? I had no idea... Looking at the table, I think I can see how to update it, but a guide which actually formalises things would be great I think. :-) MrN 17:38, May 31

Yup, it's very "interesting", a long way away from the pre-me days of UU-MrN-SysRq-Finnius-Fag – you have UU all on his lonesome (and the only person who can't fall out), you've got SysRq vs. me (and yes, starting tommorow I'll be reviewing again), you've got MrN vs. Orian, and you've got Javascap dead in the middle wondering what the hell's going on, loads of fun stuff. Wait, who am I explaining this to? Anyway, I'm just going to get the headers up now, I'll do the actual content later/tomorrow, as I promised myself twenty articles before any awards, and I'm currently on 19. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 31/05 17:47

Thanks and stuff

Hey Hv, thanks for all the little edits and what not you've done with the UnProvise categories and that {{USERNAME}} template I made. You really should get into UnProvise, it's great fun! Thanks again and I haven't really been following all the otMs this time round, who's been a-winning (apart from MDL)? - [10:38 1 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

No probs with the cats, it's just obsessive RC watching from my part. UnProvise, I might get into later – bloody exams for the next few weeks getting in the way! I like the concept, definitely, though I can see it being a pain if you ever move it to UnProvise:Main Page or something. As for the awards:

• WotM: Skullthumper (of course)
• UotM: Me (yay!)
• NotM: Cheapinitreal
• RotM: MDL (as you know)
• ANotM: RAHB (again)

So, yeah, we didn't use half of the awards. Again. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 1/06 10:44

I knew you'd won something and had come over to congratulate you...but, then I forgot what it was (or I never really knew in the first place) and was far too lazy to check it out. Congrat(ulation)s! RAHB definitely deserved ANotM, his Star Wars Opera audios were great! Cheap deserved NotM, although I feel sorry for Hyperbole, WotM...of course Skull. Hmm seems like a pretty fair month of awards, to me! - [10:50 1 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Yup, definitely (also, I seem to be the only person who's realised it, but thanks to what happened with your NotM, Hype's still eligible, 32 days). ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 1/06 10:53

Oh really? Well why don't you (or me) nom him? - [11:00 1 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Because I'm lazy, probably. Also because Qua deserves it more, but that's not quite as prominent. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 1/06 11:02

Oh yeah, wow, I'm forgetful, Qua deserve more, 'cause he's my noob! - [11:05 1 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Thanks

Thanks for nominating me for RoTM;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 12:14, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

How dare you?

You don't appear to have a South Park image of yourself for me to add to my South Park images of people gallery at the moment. Rectify this shocking oversight, please. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:08, Jun 2

Thank you sir!

ATTENTION HERRENVEEN! Javascap thanks you humbly for your help in sorting out that rouge review, and for fixing the problem he ran into... in fact, he feels like going to his page and giving you a tank! Give him a moment!

With warm regards...

Javascap has decided that, by some method, somehow, you are an unstoppable force of good and rightousness, and has decided to hand you the keys to this colourful , fascinating, unstopable tank!. That happens to be out of gas...

REJOICE Heerenveen!

Revert...

...hey you couldn't revert the vandalism on Qua's page, could you? My computer seems to be not wanting to go anywhere editing Qua's page, so I was just a-turning to you. Thanks. - [17:31 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Done Qua's and yours, my rollback doesn't have to load all 250kb of the vandalism ;) ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 3/06 17:31

Lucky you, I guess! Also I'm noting that vandals are getting cleverer, by putting "nominated" in the summary it slipped past a few people, I think! - [17:36 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

The (+283,234) sort of gives it away though! It is something up with it, I can't get onto the diff pages of either of them. Wouldn't shock me if it's goatse though, Qua seems to be under attck from EDians tonight. They've probably tried to hit me, too, as I've always been the reverter, but, hey that's what semi-protection is for! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 3/06 17:38

I couldn't get onto the diff, history or edit pages for any of them. EDians are a lower form of life, though, so, meh... I've always been to write an anti-Ed article sort of, obviously humour at its heart but getting at ED at the same time. Anyway (that's my ED sucks rant over) you're an awesome reverter, and in fact, have this for the countless reverts you've done, reverting my pages and others:

Heerenveen Has Been Awarded Official Thankies By YesTimeToEdit! This Is Not Just Thankies. This Is Unofficial YesTimeToEdit Official Thankies.

- [17:44 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Thank you! Good job between you and MrN while I was enjoying eating steak, too, so kudos. I noticed a couple of edits to the Why – does that mean you've started the review? ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 3/06 18:18

Almost finished it, actually. - [18:21 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Ta. I disagree on the image side thing, I prefer all on the right side (as prophetised by the great master), but other than that, a great review! It's appreciated muchly. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 3/06 18:33

No problem! I've started a little pee-drive after my RotM nom (not that I'll win it this month). The image thing is definitely a matter of taste, though. - [18:38 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Thanks, I see the EDians are on the rampage again, the unsophisticated idiots. Their pathetic-ness is, as ever, amusing. - [19:11 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

This is weird, I have three long headers on this talk page, all of which were started by you! Also, why do these guys always have to hit when I'm about to have tea? That revert almost made me burn my chicken. Glad to be of some use for once, and thanks again for the review, very helpful! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 4/06 19:14

Three long headers: Cause I love you. Review: No problem. ED: pathetic. Er... I just did another review, that's like two or three in three or two days or something. Yay. Also "How dare you!". Also you're on my teh cool list, here (I hope that made your day). - [19:50 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

How dare you do a load of helpful reviews! And yeah, I noticed the cool list, what with RC and all. Magic little page. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 4/06 19:54

How dare you think that I don't know that you hog RC. You could over-does on RC, some day! - [19:59 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

How dare you insinuate I'm about to overdose on RC when it's more likely to be the feature queue! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 4/06 20:05

How dare you deny the fact you take to much RC and feature queue...well I guess you weren't denying it, but, er...How dare you! - [20:07 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

How dare you state those things about my statement that was prior to your statement! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 4/06 20:19

How dare you say stuff! - [20:31 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

How dare you come onto my talk page and stop me "revising" the day before that English GCSE I'm taking a year early! Seriously, I wanted to write to practice for it. Dang vandals! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 4/06 21:12

How dare YOU stop me for revising for my religious studies exam, you bad bad person! - [22:03 4 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Late thanks!

Thanks, son! But Uncle Sam didn't thank me! All you bastards can GO TO HELL!! Eh, got any change, son? I sure hope no one writes an incredibly offensive article about me. Wait, where ya goin, son? Thanks for voting for Veteran.

~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:44 Jun 3

At the tip...

[Insert newspaper here] THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:15, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

So, ignoring the fact that I don't vote, I obviously don't and will never delete, and I have exactly one pee in two months...WHOO I'M IN THE UNSIGNPOST!</hyperbole> (Also, why am I the only person who replies to these? (Because you're mad. ~~Hv) (No, you're mad ~~Hv) (How am I ~~Hv) (Think for yourself ~~Hv) (What? ~~Hv) (I don't know, let's go back to doing nothing useful around here like usual. /me puts on helmet ~~Hv) (Why the helmet? ~~Hv) (Don't ask. ~~Hv) (OK. ~~Hv) ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 5/06 14:38

Probably because it's almost the same as talking to yourself, which is a pretty embarrising past time all told. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 17:55 5 June 2008

Fuck me, you scared me then, I thought it was that vandal... Yeah, 'tis pretty embarrasing I've heard. Not that I care though! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 5/06 17:58

I am that vandal! Mwuhahaha!

Yeah I really could have said something a bit more witty there, but I was only just awake (Was a late night last night). Anyway. Look what I've done to your phone booth! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Orian57 (talk • contribs) 21:25, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

/me goes to look outside Nooooooo! The phone booth! I was going to call someone too! /me breaks down, starts peeing for the first time in two months. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 5/06 21:25

What the hell am I doing?

Well, I could not help noticing that it was about dam time I gave you one of these!

You are not pants MrN9000 could not help but notice that you are not pants. As such, you have been awarded the Titanium Trousers by way of recognition. Any suggestion that this is a pants award will be treated accordingly...

Well, that really makes a difference to everything eh? :P MrN 09:06, Jun 6

Whoo! A feature and some trousers on the same day! It makes all the difference, perked me up quite a bit, it did. Thanks. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 6/06 13:19

Not just any trousers. Those are MrNs titanium trousers. An award which has been granted to only but a few... As it says, it's not a pants award. Hmm, perhaps it's time for me get a new catchphrase... Na. :-) MrN 10:54, Jun 7

I agree, it's a good catchphrase. And at least you have one - I don't talk enough I don't reckon (unless you count Reverted edit(s)... as a catchphrase, hehe). /me puts on trousers. Feels weird. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 7/06 11:01

Getting into a new pair of pants is one of life's great joys and should be shared as much as possible. Have to say the catchphrase is much better than mine, though I think I'll stick with "if in doubt, flop it out" for now. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I met a girl with that catchphrase once. An incident better forgotten for all concerned. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 7/06 19:13

Avril

Oh you party pooper. Hyper Girl 09:50, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper the Whole Family Must Enjoy!

June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7

Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job by Qua Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But don't worry, Qua (Uncyclopedia's shittiest n00b) and half of YTTE have taken over UnSignpost, well...until Cajek gets unbanned. Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment." Flumpa "taking toys and going home". by lots of different people It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow. Internet safety month has begun. By Dr. Skullthumper We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content WANK Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. This column has been blocked by Websense. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor". Finals approach for student-Uncyclopedians, procrastination triples By TheLedBalloon Aww, kitty! Isn't he cute? Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now. NONSENSE CATASTOPHE by Cajek An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY.

Check out these pages! How dare you! Google is the new 42 Join Scientology Or Else! Wikis different from our own PWN'D! From our logs: 09:42, 5 June 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Bringing Uncyclopedia in to disrepute (or even further into? whatever.)) 15:33, 5 June 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (time served already.....reduced sentence) 13:42, 4 June 2008, TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 221.154.246.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Sorry, you're too dumb to edit this wiki. You can come back when you grow a brain.) 12:35, 4 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 47 seconds ‎ (ZOMG LINKIN' SHOCK BANBANBANBANBAN) 03:55, June 10, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.2.113.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (TAGLOG MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK TAGLOG?!) 20:07, June 10, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Are you ban hunting or something?) 05:56, June 11, 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.0.83.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (You fail at funny. Read HTBFANJS. Slowly. Then copy it out 100 times in longhand and maybe, *maybe* I'll let you edit here again.)) Biopic of the Week 127.0.0.1 ~ Quite possibly the greatest IP that has ever lived. He is literally everywhere at once. He is in your computer, destroying it bit by bit. He is in your living room, eating your Flamin' Hot Cheetos. He is in your bedroom possibly getting laid. He is in every room you could possibly think of. All Hail 127.0.0.1!!! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Euroipods and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "Can-in-the-pan" ~ Showcasing the unerring ability of the British to come up with expressions that bear no connection whatsoever to the item or act they're describing, this is used by the Cornish to refer to a somersault. A small template glorious prize is on offer to the person who comes up with the best suggestion as to why. Answers on a postcard to UU's talk page. Page Quote of the Week: Oswald's guilt was assured when he was witnessed running the 397 yards from the Book Depository Building and began teabagging the President Warren Commission Best New Article of the Week: That Guy Standing Behind You with the Freakin' Huge Chainsaw, no words can sum up how incredibly good this article is. It tells this story about a guy who wasn't cared for who started chopping things up with a chainsaw. Sure some critics are skeptical but we at the UnSignpost think this is the best new article yet. Well until it gets deleted of course. Article of the week: That one written by Cajek all the way at the bottom was pretty damn good. I love articles that have references to sex in 'em. I don't have much to do in this trailer, and when I see a reference to sex it's like my pants fly. off. It's okay, the cats don't understand what's going on. Well, the dogs and the chimp may understand but they're not complainin'. Nope, reading Uncyclopedia articles gets me too hot to care about social constraints.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 17:02, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

How do you like my American Airlines article

Do you think it is funny? Please tell me on my disscusion page

Thanks!

Thanks for reviewing The Bourne Pottery Class. It's a very helpful review & I'll start implementing your suggestions after I finish finals. Grrr. I don't like finals. --THE 21:53, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Me neither. No problem! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 13/06 06:37

I Couldn't Help But Notice...

Your edit summary. "Hv, repeat after yourself: "You are not worth anything". Thrice." now that's just not the right attidude to take. You are worth something -- even if it's just a half glass of Dr Pepper and a handfull of Quavers, you're worth something. Ok? Oh and also I wrote something for my blog, Sissy liked it. Anyways, see you around.
Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 04:06 14 June 2008

How the hell did you know what I was consuming at that time! Is there something you're not telling me... Anyway, this whole "Oh I'm overrated" thing just seemed to have expanded, and, well, that's that basically. Good read BTW. ~~Hv 14/06 08:47

Na, it's true. HV is not worth anything. He's not even worth... Rollback ... MrN 08:55, Jun 14

I concur! Mum, the voices in my head are playing up again! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 14/06 10:23

I concur also! Or do I? I don't know anymore. Reallly need sleep! My lips feel funny Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 10:30 14 June 2008

See? We all agree. OK, enough "I suck" for now. RC is dead though :( —–Sir Heerenveen, KUN UotM RotM VFH (talk), 14/06 10:46

Rape!!!

Mwhuhahahahahah! Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 11:28 14 June 2008

48 seconds. Impressive! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 14/06 11:36

Isn't it? It would have been quicker but I wasted 15 seconds seeing if I could come up with something wittier than evil laughing. I couldn't though.
Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 11:38 14 June 2008

Thank you Heerenveen

Thank you! for your support. May your socks stay forever dry! Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 21:03, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

No problems (though this is a little late isn't it ;)). You should have won it the month before you actually did IMO (/me awaits "underrating!" comments in 3...2...1...). ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 14/06 21:30

lol, oh HV you are so self-disparaging. Anyhoo, yes I suppose it is a little late. But with it being summer and all and my subsequent vegging out, well I'm never really sure what day it is anymore. It's both amazing and terrifying. Hahaha, Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 21:38, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Yea, which bastard chose between the two of you? Actually HV carried my piss downstairs personally for the whole month, so I had to oblige. Seriously though, there was really nothing between you two. HV had just done a few more, although Mightydandylion tended to write slightly longer ones. Well, it was either I voted or Boomer had to do it, and you know how he hates making decisions. Also... (Why does HV keep whispering everything does he really think we can't hear him?. Hang on, I am talking about the right month right? I have a history for getting these things messed up. It's Tuesday right? MrN 21:41, Jun 14

! Wait, I thought we were talking about the thanks template! Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 21:46, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Oh, the Socks... Hea, you got me socks too! Why do I always get given socks? MrN 21:48, Jun 14

[EC] [DOUBLE EC!] @ MDL: This is Uncyc, since when do we ever stay on a topic for more than one edit? @ MrN: You too? I literally have a carpet made from the things... Anyways, I thought it was Thursday, myself. I agree, there was nothing in it, and it could be a precursor to this month's, only with this being a three-way vote. (It's fun). And yes, we all know how much Boomer and decisions go together... finally, MrN, that collab page thing you mentioned on Led's talk page sounds rather interesting. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 14/06 21:50

Interesting eh?

I'm just not sure where to whore it! Ahh... Cajek's talk page... Everyone reads that... MrN 00:02, Jun 15

Looks good. The problem with something like this (well, anything new at Uncyc nowadays) is getting it off the ground. Good luck! ~~Hv 15/06 11:15

Well, to do that, I need to get some quality whores using the page, and traffic through the page so that it's worth people bothering to whore there. Basically it needs to show up on recent changes a lot for a bit. Then I will post something about it in the VD. Hea! Go whore something there yourself! You must have something you're working on at the moment? Anything which makes it show on recent changes is good. :) MrN 11:21, Jun 15

Whores, you say? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I said whores. :-) Thanks. Hope you think this page is a good idea. Also, hea HV! MrN 11:27, Jun 15

[EC] [DOUBLE EC! AGAIN!] Unfortunately, I haven't got anything planned aticle-wise right now. I'm at that part where you get huge writer's block after your first couple of features. Rest assured though, once I have something I'll put it up - might do a rewrite of a popular but crappily written page, seems like a decent challenge. Probably a bit early, but congrats on (almost surely) making the second round of VFS too! Also, this sig is ugly as hell on my own talk page. Damn bold. @ Mhaille: They seem to be rife lately!~~Hv 15/06 11:30

I don't know.....I kind of like MrN9K's sig...... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Yea, I think Mhaille must have copied mine. MrN 11:46, Jun 15

I meant my own, the way the tildes bold on here...strange, that, I'd never noticed how similar the two are! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 15/06 11:58

McDonald's has been needing attention for a while... MrN 12:04, Jun 15

I'd do that, but I have absolutely no idea how to parody the subject. Also, I'm too shocked right now. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 15/06 17:59

/me realises he just had a 'crat on his talk page, regains lost manners, stomachache. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 15/06 21:13

Ergh, my eyes!

Dunno what your little test is supposed to do, but it's just given me a headache trying to read this page! Seriously, my eyes are crossed, my ears are ovoid, and my teeth are octagoned. /me tries to resist the temptation to add a </font> tag before this comment so it's easier to read... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:06, Jun 16

Enough about that... Did anyone mention THIS THING???. Oh, MrN you Whore! MrN 14:09, Jun 16

That was bloody quick, MrN! Yes, I agree, ouchie. I just wanted to see if it would override my sig or not (obviously, it didn't). I'm bad enough as it is, I think I just made myself worse! Also, Old Cajek Country is weird. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 16/06 14:11

Why thankyou. That's exactly what I was aiming for. /me strolls off into the sunset, his work here done. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:12, Jun 16

Glad to be of service. /me climbs back into bed, takes some more tablets. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 16/06 14:14

I wouldn't have said it was hideous but it is a little big I mean my sig looks like some sort of a monstrous tank now. Also Mr-Edit-Confict-N I ahve seen your Whore hous and I think that's a good idea. Better than this GIANT BLUE TEXT anyway. [AAARGG! EC's!!!] And bed? Tablets? Get well soon. Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 14:17 16 June 2008

MrN does that to you too Orian? Anyway, everyone, blame VFS, that's where I got the test from (on a related note, people who haven't already done so, go vote for Modus, I need him to get at least three more votes). And thanks Orian. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 16/06 14:29

UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8

UnSignpost abandoned by creators! by UU Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news. Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it? Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all. by DJ Irreverent UU Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming. It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans. N00b ties knot by UU Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time. UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler by UU In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick".

Check out these pages! If people are gonna do it, might as well keep 'em off the streets Tuber tales The Cult of QVFD spreads! Don't think there's enough to vote for? Fag to the rescue! From our logs: 13:12, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You will be better appreciated at that cheap whorehouse down the road. Take the third left) 21:59, 17 June 2008 Hinoa (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.38.121.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (UN:VAIN: It's what's for [INSERT GENERIC MEAL HERE]) 09:07, 17 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 220.128.148.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Budha says: Blanking shall not lead you to enlightment. Write funny articles, my friend, and be happy) 04:59, 16 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.107.246.135 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 day ‎ (No no. When was that last time YOU had a really big solid shit?) 01:35, 15 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.2.209.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You know, you're probably the dumbest person I've ever seen. That's saying a lot, you know. You should be proud.) 17:57, 13 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 84.168.60.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Banning Italy, one IP at a time.) Biopic of the Week Zombiebaron ~ Zombiebaron? Zombiebaron, zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Strong Zombiebaron. Text-based Zombiebaron. Also, Zombiebaron. Finally, Zombiebaron. Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Bubble Wrap and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "I wanna new wicker wacker" ~ Discerning Uncyclopedians finding themselves in the heart of Liverpool, but worryingly badly dressed, should fret no more - this handy phrase allows them to ask "can I have a new suit please sir?" like a native. It's anyone's guess as to what they'll end up clad in though. MrN UU's delete reason of the week: The_possible_lovechild_of_Mark_Twain_and_Oscar_Wilde ~ Delete - Holy crap, I've actually read this at least twice. I can't understand why it never occured to me to put it on VFD --Kip the Dip

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 01:07, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

Carrying on my lame tradition of replying to these, wow it's gone through a lot of editors! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 21/06 08:56

Yeah, maybe it's cursed or something! I wanna work there. Nothing like a cursed newspaper for a laugh, maybe people'll die and i can investigate it all journalistically. Make a great movie! Have Fun!MuCal. Orian57Talk!Read!PEE!UnProvise!CMC! 12:26 21 June 2008

The way things are going, it'll be your turn soon enough. Perhaps the curse has moved from RotM to the USP? --UU - natter 10:06, Jun 23

Hopefully not, I've got enough on my plate now anyway (I'm technically on study leave right now). I wouldn't say it's moved as much as duplicated: I had 47 in-depth when I won, and I only got to 50 Saturday, and MDL's only done two or three this month... I have faith in YTTE to break it though (finally!). Also, good on the new sig - your sig2 has been looking weird for me since around Thursday, so this one looks a lot cleaner to me. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 23/06 10:11

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