User:Ineedaname/Hikari
Hikari (known in USA by her stage name Dawn) is a character/actress on the show Pokemon. Known for her hot looks, she is by far the hottest female Pokemon character in the history of the whole show, and every male wants to sleep with her (or at least stare at her looks for over an hour). This is because she is the first girl Ash has ever met that actually wears something different every day.
Origins[edit | edit source]
Born in the relatively quiet city of Sarasota, Florida, Hikari quickly burst into the spotlight as a bikini model. Her hotness really made her rise meteorically through the modeling world. Unfortunately, her modeling career ended when she was tossed out of a runway shoot after getting into a fist fight with Naomi Campbell. She later on said the fight was due to Naomi Campbell calling her a ho. After that, she was jobless. Just when everything was about to A Splode, Hikari was hired to star in a show that had already been running for some time called Pokemon. She accepted, seeing as she was about to become sexy (and pennyless). She bid farewell to her hometown and her friends Lucas and Damion (both of whom she promptly forgot about after becoming famous), she set out to begin her new life.
As a Character/Actress on Pokemon[edit | edit source]
After Hikari's first appearance on the show, ratings went their highest since Season 3. Hikari went through a stage that May did when she was new: sexy fanart. Everywhere from Kalamazoo to Ulan Bataar, people drew Hikari in sexy poses. The only difference between Hikari's phase and May's was that Hikari hasn't been drawn (at least not very well) in a bikini yet...UNTIL JULY 11, 2007! Finally, Someone did a good job of drawing her in a bikini and the world was once again at ease.
Cameo Appearances[edit | edit source]
The show Everybody Hates Raymond is rumored to have requested Hikari to star in an upcoming episode, which will be the final season's opening show. Hikari will be a hot neighbor that tempts Raymond to leave Deborah. Frank is also very tempted. Oh, by the way, Frank is now played by your dad instead of the late Millard Fillmore. Hikari has rejected this role, but May accepted. Boy, did she do a good job.
The Simpsons also have requested Hikari star in an episode for 2008. No word yet on whether Hikari will accept or not. Chances are she will decline because of the Bart Simpson incident (read more below).
In the Bill Engvall Show, Hikari will star in a few episodes as herself...except in the plot, she just graduated from high school and she wears less...and less..and less...hard to believe she hasn't done this in Pokemon. She should seriously be in a bikini for a few episodes...topless would be nice, too (wahoo!).
Family Guy has asked Hikari to guest-star in an upcoming episode, but as of now, there is no word on if Hikari will accept.
Role on Show[edit | edit source]
Hikari's addition to the show did three things. First, it initially pissed everybody off because Misty was not reentered into the show. Second, everybody then realized that Hikari wore shorter shorts than Misty, so it was okay. Third, it raised the show's popularity to teenagers tremendously. Hikari is new to the whole pokemon experience, but as of Episode 27, she is getting better by the hour (so I wouldn't count her out yet). She started out on a sour note, though. She couldn't even beat Team Rocket in the premiere episode. Boy, that must've been immensely embarrassing. Well, at least she managed to call federal authorities. Team Rocket was arrested shortly after, then released on $14,000,000 bond two days later.
Hikari has attracted a whole new crowd of angsty teens to mix in with the show's current audience of IT nerds & geeks. However hot she is, she is still new. It is obvious that Hikari will often get herself screwed up, until Ash pops in and supposedly saves everything while Hikari stands by, seducing innocent teen boys, even if she isn't trying (she hooked me). May's job was similar, but she killed the guy who gave her that job after he asked for sex after his wife left him (she spiked his Miller Lite with arsenic and he died of heavy metal poisoning), thus a lawsuit was filed due to the fact that May putting the arsenic in the beer was caught on film...forever. However, the lawsuit was dropped when the victim's lust for May was exposed.
Struggles Off-Camera[edit | edit source]
Hikari has had many struggles during her tenure on Pokemon.
Hikari had a very unsteady financial situation after the IRS screwed her over numerous times. She eventually threatened a lawsuit due to unfair, high taxes. The IRS eventually backed down after Hikari's long-time friend John Cena beat the living shit out of an IRS member after hearing of the heavily-publicized incident.
Hikari had a relationship with Brock for awhile. Then the relationship ended when Brock punched a lamp out in a heated argument about the still-unstable finances as well as his perv-like 'affection' for Hikari, which was scaring her. Eventually, Brock became an emo and joined the band My Chemical Romance. He's the new bassist. She is now single and looking for somebody to love. (So all you creepy old folks people can still keep you hopes up.)
Stalkers[edit | edit source]
There are many stalkers on Hikari's tail including:
- Oscar Wilde
- Oscar Mayer
- Bill Clinton
- General Grievous
- General Grievous
- General Grievous
- General Grievous
- General Grievous (he really likes her)
- Megatron
- Invader Zim
- Emperor Palpatine
- Jack Sparrow
- Ash Rectum
- Penisaur
- Michael Vick
- Derek Jeter
- Thomas the Tank Engine
- George W. Bush
- Adolf Hitler
- Goofy
- Spongebob Squarepants
- Napoleon Dynamite
- Borat Sagdiyev
- Azamat Bagatov
- Randy Jackson
- Andrew Jackson
- Stormtroopers
- Allah Ackbar
- Chris Jericho
- Chris Benoit
- Randy Orton
- Triple H
- Bart Simpson
- Homer Simpson
- Peter Griffin
- Muzzy
- Eric Cartman
- Samuel L. Jackson
- Yoda
- Andy Milonakis
- Simon Cowell
- Strong Bad
- Teh Cheat
- The entire male cast of Happy Feet
- The Naked Brothers Band (including the girl)
- Definitely not Michael Jackson
- Camp Lazlo
- You
- Bill Gates
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Fidel Castro
- Luigi
- Mewtwo
- Sega
- Sony
- Microsoft
- Nintendo
- Master Chief
- Mario
- Some guy
- Captain Obvious
- A Dobermann
- Me
- Green Day
- The Beatles
- Chuck Norris
- Oprah
- Jackie Chan
- Bruce Lee
- Fat Albert
- Chris Tucker
- Akon
- Vegeta
- Obi Wan Kenobi
- 50 Cent
- Eminem
- Steve Carell
- John Kerry
- Elton John
- Tony Blair
- Count Dooku
- Osama Bin Laden
- Colonel Klink
- Sergeant Schultz
- Everyone at Wikipedia
- Kanye West
- The Count
- Dracula
- Count Chocula
- The guy who screams "THIS IS SPARTAAA!" from 300
- KFC
- Al Gore
- Seung-Hui Cho
- Italy
- China
- Jews
- Satan
- Admiral Ozzel
- Captain Picard
- Captain Kirk
- Mr.Walker
- Mr.T
- Jamie Foxx
- Alan Keyes
- Bob Barr
- Her own Pokemon (sadly)
- AT-ATs
- Definetly not a dumb blonde
- Yogi Bear
- Yogi Berra
- Yogi Berra
- Fogell McLovin
- Timonthy A. Turner
- George Lucas
- Stewie Griffin
- Chewbacca
- Blue Man Group
- Jar Jar Binks
- Jar Jar Binks
- Jar Jar Binks
- Jar Jar Binks
- Jar Jar Binks (He really liked her)
- Benny Hinn
- The Miz
- Alberto Del Rio
Quotes[edit | edit source]
“Hello sexy...”
“I HAD MANY SEXUAL
FANTASIESRELATIONS WITH THAT GIRL!”
“No you didn't, that was only in the Sims”
“..sigh..”
“I CAN"T GET ENOUGH OF THAT MOTHERFUCKIN' HIKARI ON THAT MOTHERFUCKIN' ANIME!”
“Back away! I will dance with this hot girl myself!”
“Everybody thinks she's hot.”
“Bust my buffers! She's hot!”
“VERY NICE! HOW MUCH?”
“I'm not a hooker you perv! *sprays mace*”
“”
“Eeeewwww....”
“Lucky!”
“I am McLovin.”
“Stay away from me PERV! *sprays mace*”
“Do what must be done, Hikari. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy”
“He's kinda creepy...”
“I was replacing HER? DAMN!”
“So...maybe you'd like to see me in a different light? *totally throws her shirt off to reveal a red bra*”
“Like my body?”
“YES! YES! YES!”
“*BOOM!* *Head explodes, tips over and falls on the ground.*”
“What a bunch of bitches!”
“Nobody cares...”
“Emo much?”
“Who's THAT Pokemon?”
“He's gay, enough said.”
“CREEP!”
“Ned, what are you doing?”
“He's about as straight as cooked vermicelli.”
“Why the hell is everyone STALKING me?”
“Because you're hot?”
“I deny that accusation! Dis-missed!”
“You're hot when nude, THAT'S why!”
“(in cheat-ish) Well, you're hot and I'm trying to horn in on SB's girls.”
“HEY! I read that quote! You're NOT touching one of my precious girls!”
“You finally made me straight!”
“...”
“You have a beautiful body!”
“I know nothing! Nothing!”
“Eat my edible shorts, hotstuff!”
“*creepy music*”
“That's the worst-looking hat I ever saw... Oh, it looks good on you, though!”
“Lose the ridiculous hairstyle, and MAYBE we'll talk...”
“Uh... aren't you a little... old to be lusting after me?”
“Why most CERTAINLY not!”
“LUST THIS! *whips out mace and sprays it*”
“What's with his hair?”
“Wow, he's hot,”
“I'd be tapping her.”
“SHE RULES! Is she a tomboy? Or a shemale?”
“Uhhhhh......... (blushes)”
“Ehhhhhh....... do you like Piplupz? I heard you liek piplupz”
“Yes, I love Piplups!”
“Let's be friends, right?”
“Sure, why not? You can join with Ash”
“WOOHOO!”
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Hikari battled Count von Count in one of the Pokemon Episodes. This was because the Count was busy killing innocent Pokemon. Piplup surprisingly did the Count in due to the Count's freak accident when a Steelix swatted him to the ground, splintering his ribcage.
- Hikari has a dish washing detergent named after her (in America, that is).
- Hikari (at 10) is said to be sexier than even Britney Spears at 18!
- Hikari has been known to pull into the Pokemon studio lot with random metal songs blaring out her Mazda RX-7's speakers.
Need For Speed: Ultra Revenge[edit | edit source]
Along with a whole host of celbrity stars, Hikari will be starring in the newest Need for Speed video game. She plays herself. her character is unknowingly seductive and has a fast-as-hell car (Mazda RX-7!). However, she is the easiest opponent for the player to beat. The hardest is Jeffrey, played by Bruce Willis (Batmobile, duh).
See Also[edit | edit source]
- The Count (Hellmo was too busy to be there.)
- Hot Chick
- Need For Speed
- An uncovered murder conspiracy!
- Hikari isn't the only target the Gay Supremacists have!
| Pokémon |
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Brock ⊙ Herman Cain ⊙ Max ⊙ Pokemon Kid ⊙ Team Rocket |
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Video game series ⊙ Anime series ⊙ Trading cards ⊙ 100 Worst Pokémon Cash-ins ⊙ Christian Symbology ⊙ Gotta Catch 'Em All |
